In life, we will often see people with jealousy, jealousy is actually a kind of vanity, it will only bring us a bad impact.
And unkindness, jealousy, sour lemon, all because the chassis of life was misplaced at the beginning. When you adjust the coordinates and turn jealousy into joy, you will change your attitude toward yourself and others. At this time, you will find that the more casual people are, the easier it is to succeed.
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A friend of mine said that if you read too many Little Red Books, you will be very anxious. Because the above life is too wonderful, either very beautiful, or very rich, or very powerful, looking back at yourself, as if the difference between clouds and mud, so the psychology is very unbalanced, giving birth to a lot of troubles and jealousy. In fact, 80% of the psychological troubles are because of standing on the wrong coordinates of life.
If you've had any contact with Buddhism, you must have heard the word Suixi? How many people in life can really like others from the bottom of their hearts? It seems that if others are good, they are not good, or I am not good, you don't have to think well.
Psychological research shows that in fact, we are placed in the wrong coordinates of life in childhood, so we unconsciously form a psychology of unkindness and jealousy.
In childhood, around the age of 4 to 5, our sense of self answers two questions: One, how do I see myself, am I okay? Second, how do I see others? Are they okay? Expressed in horizontal axis coordinates, these 4 quadrants:
This is a very critical coordinate of life, and once we decide which attitudes and perspectives to use in childhood, we will always stick to our choices for the rest of our lives. These attitudes and opinions become the underlying structure of our existence, and we will construct a world in our lives, constantly affirming and supporting these beliefs and expectations, and spending our lives to prove our prophecies.
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Where do you feel that the coordinates of your life are at the moment? Needless to say, most of them are actually in the coordinates of "I'm good, you're not good" or "I'm not good, you're good", so in the face of competition, not even a competitive relationship, I am afraid that you are better than me, because you are good, I am not good.
Such an idea is the wrong coordinates that we unconsciously formed in the process of getting along with our parents and growing up when we were young, in fact, we can adjust the underlying coordinates to the position of "I am good, you are good", and many psychological problems and interpersonal problems will be solved, and there will be a feeling of relaxation in the heart.
The key to everything lies in the coordinates of your life, depending on how you face it.
Whenever you develop jealousy or sour lemons when you see others, think about these four life coordinates. Tell yourself that you are no longer the four- or five-year-old child, you can choose to put yourself in any coordinates, then you will have a bigger pattern and heart than most people, in the road to hello and me, the beauty of each other, beautiful and beautiful.
It is said that the happiness and success of a person can not only reduce a lot of troubles, but also may attract a lot of good popularity and opportunities, and at the same time can share 10% of good luck.
Therefore, we must be an open-minded person at any time, meet those who are excellent, humbly seek advice, learn to appreciate ourselves and others, and our hearts will become more open.
May you like others from the bottom of your heart, and you will lose a lot of trouble and anxiety.
I am Xia Jiujiu, pay attention to me, both grow and achieve things.