Crying, sitting still, emotional impulses, easy wandering...All of the above are very obvious in children with ADHD (attention deficit). Their parents face many challenges in the process of nurturing and companionship!
Among them, the art-loving orange father found that after his child found out ADHD, there was some empathy behind his helplessness. After all, I am also an ADHD patient...and in the process of accompanying hyperactive children, I have gained a lot of parenting experience.
Below is the true story from Papa Orange, let's look down!
- Hi Brain Ren
He is a famous clown in the circus.
Every time I performed, I did magic tricks, blew up balls, rode a single wheel, squeezed my eyebrows and played with funny expressions, making the children and adults laugh!
And he is the protagonist of today's story - Father Orange.
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"When I was a child, I loved the arts, and I remember that between middle school and junior college, I taught myself clowns and juggling with my friends through video circus programs, and there was no professional school at that time, and resources were quite limited.
Later, I studied mime with teacher Huang Guozhong, went home and studied in the mirror every day, observing my own expression, all of which relied on a persistence. ”
In the process of chasing dreams, Orange Daddy meets the beloved of fate! Love, marriage, children, everything is so beautiful.
Until the child is 6 years old, life is disrupted.
"My eldest son, Chi Lok, was diagnosed with mind disorder and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at the age of 6 with learning disabilities.
At the time, we didn't find anything wrong with the child. I always thought that the little boy, who was monkey skin, would grow up. However, after going to school, I received frequent complaints from the school.
For example, he would take off his shoes and walk out of his seat for no reason, kick the wall with his shoes, make the corner of the table comfortable, always touch his classmates, make others feel offended, and so on. ”
Orange's father talked about his son's situation and showed a bitter smile. "When I received these complaints, I was still angry at first, but suddenly I remembered that when I was a child, wasn't that also the case?"
Coincidentally, Papa Orange was also diagnosed with hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at the age of 6. When I was a child, I couldn't sit still, I always wanted to jump up, I couldn't concentrate, and I had unconscious and unconscious small movements.
I remember when I was a child in elementary school, I was also complained about by the school many times, I didn't pay attention to learning, my grades were not good, and the primary school had been hovering on the edge of repetition, fortunately, I began to learn drama at that time, and in the process I slowly found that I had the perseverance not to be afraid of failure.
"Although I am not suitable for reading, I can be highly focused and engaged in learning, and I can have a very good performance, and I can also get an A in the subjects I like." He laughs and says that although he is now an adult, there are occasional unconscious movements related to ADHD.
For example, when taking the bus, there will be rhythmic knocking on the armrest until the person next to you reminds you that you have disturbed others! In fact, the current self is completely unaware.
That's it for yourself, so why complain about your children?
"Especially Zhile said to me: Dad, I know I'm not right, but I can't control it... Hearing such a statement, I was distressed and helpless, how could I bear to blame him? ”
No.1 A child is a fish, do not expect him to become a bird
When his son was diagnosed, Orange's father and wife have been actively facing it. And shortly after his son's diagnosis, he decided to take psychiatric drugs and sign up for an intensive behavioral intervention therapy course.
In addition, in life, orange dad uses juggling to cultivate children's concentration and lets his son act as a performance assistant.
Orange's father said that his wife was originally a civil servant, because his son found out about ADHD, he gave up his job early, changed to freelance at home and engaged in the online shop business. In addition, use your spare time to learn various behavioral therapies.
In this way, with the help of his son's medication, coupled with the practice of juggling and performance, his self-management ability and empathy have made great progress, which is very gratifying to them.
Orange Dad talked about his parenting policy, and he was also very proud!
"My parenting method is to respect the child, and I must respect him!" Remember the story of musician Chen Mei?
Chen Mei studied music because of her mother's expectations, and when she met her mother's expectations, she did not touch music again, but went to learn to ski to qualify for the Olympics. I was warned by her story that I didn't want to put my own standards on my children.
My lover and I often remind each other: If a child is a fish, do not expect him to become a bird, and let go of expectations appropriately. Give your child more understanding and tolerance. ”
As the saying goes, "No one is perfect, no one is perfect", not to mention this group of cute little angels around us!
As a parent, encouragement may not be difficult when your child behaves as expected. The hardest part is accepting the child who we didn't expect.
Accept that He is not as clever as we think; accept that He is unwilling to follow our predetermined path of life; accept that He will eventually become an ordinary destiny.
True encouragement is unconditional acceptance and heartfelt love for the child as it is.
To encourage this, Orange Daddy used his hands to catch it, and he was at ease. For example, when his son Zhile's academic performance is high and low, and the ups and downs are very large, once he has good results, Orange Daddy will seize the opportunity to encourage him, to affirm his efforts, and give him motivation.
Zhile usually likes to read history, he also encourages his son to watch historical animations and picture books, to establish interest, so far he has read more than 40 historical comics and bridge books, although he may not understand all the text, but he can be based on the plot.
"He's interested in juggling and history for the time being, will he like anything else later?" For example, fishing, I will also accompany him to learn! Orange Dad said.
No.2 Exercise helps to focus and find the trick to intervention
Orange Dad stressed that learning to exercise has many benefits for ADHD children.
"I remember Flying Fish Phelps was also ADHD, and he really helped himself improve a lot of problems with swimming. I will also encourage Zhile to go to sports, I signed him up for martial arts classes, football classes, and took him to learn juggling for three years, so far he has a good level of basic skills such as shaking bamboo, spinning discs, throwing balls and so on. After all, juggling requires both hands and brains, fine movements, and hard practice, and in the process of training, exercise his concentration. ”
At first, Zhile was also very resistant to learning juggling, but when he went out to perform, he was often praised, and began to have motivation, and he also had self-motivation to challenge more difficult fancy performances. And now Zhile will also think about others, when others ask him for advice, his action is that he can understand the difficulties of others, and deliberately start from simple teaching, which makes Orange Dad very pleased.
It is a father, a mentor, and a dreamer!
In addition to life and family, Orange Dad also hides a seed of dreams in his heart. He said that in 2007, he accidentally watched the improvisational comedy "One Servant and Two Lords" of the Small Theater in Milan. In the performance, he saw the purity of the actors, and saw the national actor Soleilly in his seventies performing more than 40 years in a row, more than 2,000 performances of the servant role of "One Servant and Two Lords".
"I'm ashamed of his dedication to the performance." Orange Dad said.
Art and sports have put his son Zhile's life on the right track, the frustration in school has been found in the hobby, and Orange Dad has begun to learn improv comedy, integrating relevant skills and experience into teaching and different types of performances, and has been shortlisted for the "No Robot Dream Extension Project" Top 10 Startup Fund to promote improvisation comedy.
"Anger without anger, sorrow without hurt, is the secret of my pleasure!" I hope that I will lead by example, put aside those strange theories of "head disease", I will tell my son that dreams will not be limited by age and disease, and we can all chase dreams. ”
Orange Dad leads the child with the power of teaching by example, and also enriches himself. And with love and respect, guard the child, inspire him to find the light of life, and bloom to the fullest.