01
When I was a child, I loved a song.
"Don't ask me where I came from, my hometown is in the distance, why wandering, wandering far away, wandering, for the birds flying in the sky, for the streams flowing lightly in the mountains, for the wide grasslands, wandering far away, wandering..."
Really, I don't know why, the post-70s generation seems doomed to drift.
Suddenly, I looked back, and my hometown was behind me, but I couldn't go back.
Once, I wrote an article "The hometown where my parents are not there is a hometown that I can't go back to."
A reader left a message: "When parents drive the crane to the west, their hometown becomes their hometown." Who's going back to see? Look at the familiar streets and villages? These have long since changed. Looking at a concerned relative? Relatives are mostly strangers. Looking at familiar classmates, classmates have also been alienated. It seems that the only way to burn a few pieces of paper and burn a few pillars of incense in front of the grave of your parents. ”
Recalling the bits and pieces of childhood, there are mixed feelings.
In my mind, it was the wisp of cooking smoke, a rice field, a small bridge, an old house, a message, and the smell of rice flowers, the mother standing in the doorway and calling, the father shouting the old cow into the field...
Childhood is gone, teenagers are gone, and our middle age is nearing its end. The first batch of post-70s people are already in their fifties. In a flash, it should be retired.
I don't know when, I have white hair on my head, and as soon as I open my mouth, I say, "I want to be that year."
With the passage of time, it is not only the years, but also the hometown that cannot be returned.
The hometown cannot accommodate the flesh, and the foreign land cannot keep the soul. After the 70s who are old, they are gradually "far away" from the hometown behind them.
02
Remember the scene when you left your hometown for the first time?
People of the same age often say, "If my hometown can also make a lot of money, why don't I come out to work?" ”
Yeah, who doesn't think that?
However, most of us after the 70s were born in the countryside. When we were young, our lives were carefree, but we could feel the taste of "poverty".
When I was in elementary school, the tuition fee for a semester was only five dollars. However, parents often can't scrape together the five dollars. When the school started, my mother accompanied me to register and asked the school for leniency.
In junior high school, I still wore patch pants to school. Sometimes, my mother changed my eldest sister's pants and "threw" them at me.
Once, when I walked into the classroom, many of my classmates stared at me and laughed quietly. I suddenly noticed that there was a not-so-conspicuous rose on the hem of my pants. The woman's pants were wearing them on me, and I was uncomfortable, like a needle.
For me, it should be poor and afraid, so I choose to go away.
Leaving my hometown, I went to Shenzhen, Dongguan, Fujian and other places.
The first time I left my hometown, my mother took me to the bus station in the township.
The township bus station, which has only one bus a day to the county seat, is scheduled at 6:30 in the morning.
So my mother and I got up at four in the morning. With a flashlight, I walked five miles up the mountainous road.
Along the way, my mother repeatedly said: "When you go out, pay attention to safety; when you get to Dongguan, remember to come back with a letter..."
When the bus overturned the mountain pass, I suddenly found that I was already in tears.
For many years, didn't I just want to fly out of the mountains? But when it really flies out, there is too much reluctance, or too much fear.
I was afraid that the days of wandering were too hard, and I was even more worried that I could not withstand the pressure of "being alone".
However, the post-70s generation is destined to be helpless. From going away from home, to settling in the city, to buying a house, getting married, everything is their own business.
Most of what our parents left us was a few acres of thin land, an old house, and there was really nothing left. Some parents have left tens of thousands of dollars in debt for their children to pay back slowly.
03
Remember when you returned to your hometown?
"The little boy left home and returned to the old man, and the township tone did not change the sideburns." When we were children, we all studied this poem, and when we grew up, we all lived this poem.
Post-70s people, are you ready to return to the roots of the fallen leaves?
If you want to go back to your hometown for the elderly, there are additional conditions. Houses, cars, pensions, transportation and other real problems are in front of us.
If there are only a few old people left in the village of your hometown, will you insist on going back? If there are only a few wastelands in your hometown, do you still want to go back?
But, hometown, you have to go back after all.
Your parents are gone, and on Tomb Sweeping Day, you have to go to the grave. If the old house is still there, if you push open the door of the old house, you will see the familiar farm tools and think of the busy figure of your parents.
On the stove, there were flames spitting out, and the mother circled around to make food for everyone. There are sticks, cornmeal, bacon, all of them.
On the wall, there was also a sickle used by his father. Father went to mow the grass early every morning, and the grass could be fed to the cattle or placed in the pig pen for the pigs to make a nest.
If your parents are still alive, you will also have to go back during the New Year's Holidays. At least during the New Year, reunite with your parents.
For the "reunion", you have been preparing for a long time, and your parents have also prepared for a long time. You have to prepare for the holidays, take time out, and your parents have to prepare a lot of things you like to eat, for fear of snubbing you as a "guest".
Also, relatives in your hometown do red and white celebrations, and you must also go back to see.
After the 70s, the elders are slowly becoming less, and there are always some people who will never be seen.
To send the elders on the last journey, this is your obligation, but also in order not to leave regrets.
Back in the hometown, the scenery is still there, but the trees have grown taller, the old houses have become older, and even many old houses have disappeared, leaving ruins and broken walls. Old man, some are gone, some children are in the city.
Infuriatingly, the village dogs came out and barked at you. The dog doesn't know that you used to be the owner of this place.
04
Professor Dong Fan said: "Entering a big city creates a good environment for the development of the next generation. ”
You are still attached to your hometown, but your hometown cannot accommodate you. Thinking of your hometown, you are a little heartbroken and very lost.
Now after the 70s, the days of leaving home are also used to it. For the sake of a good life, we can say that we have done our best.
As I grew older, I wanted to go back to my hometown more and more, but many people, for the sake of their children, gritted their teeth and insisted on staying in the city. In the city, there are always more opportunities for life development.
In fact, most of our choices have become - to flee the homeland all the time.
I remember a friend said, "What homeland is difficult to leave?" As long as you have hot soil in your heart, the homeland will remain in your memory. ”
As the saying goes, where the loess soil does not bury people.
In this life, after all, it will not be comfortable, and no one can be comfortable. Tossing, in order to have a good life.
The post-70s generation that is gradually aging: life is a long road, and the hometown is far away.
In the future, where to go, we can only look at it as we go.
Perhaps, as the conditions in our hometown improve, we will still have to go back.
Perhaps, we are destined to go farther and farther, that is, we are old and will not return to our hometown.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.
Reference: "Soul-shaking Dialogue, Escape from Your Hometown That Will Eventually Decline", by Dong Fan.