I don't know if you have such a feeling, with the continuous growth of age, I know more and more people, but I can become friends less and less, and then look back at my childhood, as if there are many good friends who play well during that period.
In fact, this is an illusion of ours, the truth is not what you and I think, perhaps for another reason.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="19" > childhood view of choosing friends</h1>
First of all, when I was a child, everyone was still just a small sapling, there was no firm thought and position, there was no logic and right and wrong, at that time, our friends generally only adhered to the concept of "comfortable", such as someone looking good to make me comfortable, or someone playing games with him will be very comfortable, or someone appreciates my interest so that it will make me very comfortable...
While these friendships allow us to temporarily enjoy the pleasure of companionship, it is really just a superficial, rough friendship, it is a friendship that does not stand the test.
I remember when I was in junior high school, I had a friend who I thought was very good at the time, because our interests and hobbies were basically the same, and it happened to be the front and back tables, so we acted quite close, and we always had to be together no matter what we did.
But once because of a very small matter, we became estranged, and since then the relationship has slowly become estranged, and we have slowly changed from the initial shadow to no one pays attention to anyone, and we have entered a state of cold war. Although it was finally reconciled, the relationship was still not as good as before.
Because of this matter I have been uncomfortable for a long time, I have always felt how good a friend, the relationship has become so light, it is really a pity, but later I slowly understood that when I was a child, most of my good friends were actually our immature self-righteousness, because a piece of sugar, a paintbrush, and even a yo-yo may break up, such a friendship is really not pure but superficial and rude,
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="20" > adults' view of choice</h1>
When we are young, we generally only need to consider whether it is fun or not, uncomfortable on it, which day this person is unhappy with you, you do not play with him, in fact, at that time, our trial and error cost is extremely low, but when we grow up, it is different, and the factors we need to consider are more complex and more mature.
1, maintain the original intention, rather than indiscriminate
In real life, there are often two types of people who are divided into such a person, a type of person who is full of friends, engaged in real estate, opens a movie theater, does a bar, which is his friend, usually party, drink, big fish and meat on call, but contact them at key moments is always no longer in the service area.
There is also a category of people, they are always dusty, taciturn, friends in life seem to be only one or two, but every critical moment, such as illness, buy a house, buy a car, their friends can help. In fact, this is the choice between friends, some people choose the number of friends, some people choose the quality of friends, as the saying goes: "fish and bear paws can not have both", since the choice of one party to give up the other party, obviously, quality is always more important than quantity.
A person lonely is always more comfortable than making friends, there is a saying: the so-called adults have to endure loneliness, why endure loneliness, because people's time and energy costs are limited, and there will be stories of being deceived between friends, which is the first lesson from childhood to adults, so before we meet friends who are really worth interacting with, we had better improve ourselves, keep the original intention, and prefer to be lacking.
2. Work together and be positive
Presumably, everyone has seen the classic Hong Kong movie "Ancient Puzzle Boy", in which the pheasant and Chen Haonan can be described as an idol friendship that is revered by the younger generation, they fight together, drink together, and clubbing together... In fact, our young people are misled, the story of Pheasant and Chen Haonan is just the plot of the novel comic and does not adapt to the real society.
If two people with extremely poor character come together, they will only affect each other more and more badly, more and more depraved, and the so-called friendship between the two ribs and the knife is only a momentary courage. A truly good friendship is when two positive people attract each other, so that friendship can stand the test of time and reality.
Run into each other and learn to be inclusive. Growth is a stage of drastic change, so many people will feel that the loss of friends is a person's growth will inevitably experience the lack, in fact, it is not the case, the real reason for losing friends is that you have not grown up, have not learned to tolerate friends, and do not understand the run-in between friends.
People will grow up slowly, people will become more and more complex, with the change of the surrounding environment, our psychology will also change to a certain extent, our friendship between friends will become more dependent and valued, once there are some temporary failures to meet my psychological situations we will feel that he \ she changed her heart.
In fact, they just have some of their own ideas, grow some of their own edges and corners, as long as you and them learn to run into each other, understand and accept these edges, I believe that your friendship will continue to go on, and the friendship will become more and more solid,
Really good friendship is actually like winemaking, if you just look at the fancy figure a temporary comfort then you will have a hard time drinking delicious and mellow wine, you have to work hard and time to slowly manage, and finally you can taste the really beautiful part of him,