Someone once did such a survey, randomly asked 100 couples, let them check the most caring people in the survey table, more than 97% of the checks were their own children.
The title of baby applies to many relationships, but the only one who can really do it is their own parents, in their eyes, whether you are good or bad, regardless of beauty and ugliness, you are their most cherished treasure.
one
Keeping children away from doting grandparents is also a kind of love.
The problem of child coddling has always been the most serious problem in a family, and coddling is like a potential demon, always hidden in the shadows ready to steal your precious child.
The preference for sons over daughters and the love of long-term care for children have always been the most stubborn source of thinking of the older generation of many families, especially in the generation of grandparents and grandparents.
I have a friend, after getting married, became a full-time mother with a baby at home, once chatted with her about the problem of children, she poured bitter water about the in-laws only love the little son of the big brother's family, for the little girl in her own family can not say dislike, but also talk about how much love.
But it is very fortunate that they love more is the child, my family is a girlfriend, once with the child to go out to play, the big brother's child is what to buy, do not buy on the ground can not get up, to be honest, my little girl was still quite envious, I should also be a little envious in my heart.
Until one time the children in the eldest brother's family beat up their classmates at school for no reason, when the eldest brother was educating the children at night, the grandparents protected him desperately, and my eldest brother could only helplessly look at the son who was protected behind him, at that moment I was glad that the in-laws did not dote on my children like this.
Otherwise I really don't know what my girlfriend has become!
Don't let the elderly become the hurdle that the child can't walk through in the process of growing up, and don't let the next generation become a bottomless pit on the child's growth path.
two
Coddling is sexual, harmful and invisible.
I don't know if you can remember a teenager named Yang Suo, a child who was doted on by his parents as a "lazy cancer giant baby", a famous teenager on baidu encyclopedia list.
It is said that Yang Suo is the only child in the family, the whole family has been very pampered to him since childhood, if the teacher from childhood educates Yang Suo, he will go home and tell his parents, and the next day the parents will seek justice from the teacher for their son, which leads to the fact that in the end no teacher is willing to manage Yang Suo.
Yang Suo dropped out of school early at home, but he was accustomed to the hardships of part-time work, he has been raised by his parents, living a life of wearing clothes to stretch out his hands and eat to open his mouth, and then after Yang Suo's father died, his mother continued to raise him, until he was 18 years old, his mother also died, Yang Suo was forced to go out to work, did not work for long to endure hardships, returned to his hometown Kind neighbors sometimes sent him some rice, noodles and the like, but he could not cook, but also lazy cooking.
This gradually reduced the number of contacts in the village, until once his cousin came to visit him with food and quilts, only to find that he had starved to death at home.
The failure to develop the habit of thinking in childhood will deprive him of the ability to think for the rest of his life—Rousseau
The child is a simple blank paper, what kind of words we scribble on will record what kind of words, habits need to be cultivated from an early age, good habits are the most important wealth of his life.
Sun Xiaoguo, a demon who was overly doted on by his parents, endlessly shielded, will only make children flout the law, ignore morality, and develop a terrible personality of solipsism.
The educator Makarenko said: "Everything is given to the child, and sacrificing everything for him, even sacrificing his own happiness, is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children." ”
three
Small to raise small, big to raise the same
In terms of cultivating children, Gree Qiangren Dong Mingzhu has a lot of say, her children are no different from ordinary children in the stage of growth, and even the abundant materials are only Dong Mingzhu's own, not children's. Sending him to school early to learn to separate the child from his family, cultivate his sense of independence, the cost of living is only the ordinary standard level, even to go to school and school need to take public transportation by himself.
It is reasonable to say that Dong Mingzhu is not short of cars and not short of money, she is richer than many people, and the materials that can be given to children are definitely better than many people, but she does not! She has been raising her own children, how much effort she has put in, how much fruit she has reaped, and the good things that she has gained without work exist, but it will not be good luck to come to you.
A wealthy family can be a haven for children, but it must not be a ship for children to grow up and sail, he should drive his own boat, learn how to drive and avoid risks little by little, encounter difficulties and overcome difficulties, and not lie flat on the ship built by his parents.
The wealth of the family is the child's growth process, failed to come back to the opportunity, Wang Jianlin famous five hundred million, he gave Wang Sicong only five hundred million, did not help Wang Sicong how to plan the five hundred million, did not give other help when Wang Sicong used five hundred million to start a business.
The child is only a child, he is no different from other children, and the family is not the standard for distinguishing children.
shop
Only "desperate" parents can raise sentient children
Only by having a desperate love for his child can he bear to let him face difficulties and wind and rain alone, and only by experiencing difficulties and wind and rain can he truly grow.
Everyone knows the story of the take-off of the eagle, and educates the child that there is no tragedy of the eagle taking off, so it is better to be desperate and let your child experience more of the wind and rain.
At the age of 3, you give up the dishes and chopsticks, and the child can learn to eat on his own;
At the age of 5, you give up the room, and the child can learn to sleep alone;
At the age of 6, you give up the bathroom, or you will learn to take a bath by yourself, and you will understand the difference between men and women;
At the age of 8, you close the room, and the child will understand the respect for privacy;
At the age of 12, you give up the kitchen, and the child will learn to cook; live independently;
At the age of 14, you give up the study, the child will understand how important learning is, and learn to learn knowledge through books;
The influence of parents on children is subtle, and they are affecting children in all aspects of life, and we should recognize this impact early, otherwise it will be too late when you recognize it!
My friend likes to shake his legs at any time, standing and sitting is like this, once went to his house to play, saw his 6-year-old child standing and sitting like him and kept shaking his legs, he did not teach his own children, it is natural for children to learn in the process of getting along.
How strong is your child's ability to learn?
My 4-year-old nephew, when I hear someone else's mmp, just like this, when I sit on the sofa at night and play, it is natural to say a mmp!
Education is an important way to obtain knowledge, but we must also pay attention to the daily living environment of children, and use good habits and qualities to subtly influence children.
Forward-thinking parents cultivate their children's independence and autonomy from an early age.
We should all have heard a saying that other people's children will play soy sauce! A little girl in Chongqing, 5 years old, took the money given by her parents to buy soy sauce, and her mother watched from a distance at the window, staring in the direction of the little girl's walking until the little girl bought back the soy sauce and entered the building.
A little boy in Jiangsu, when he was out of school, was informed by the teacher that his mother would not come to pick him up today, and needed to go home alone and gave him enough fare to get home.
A child in Hainan, on the way to school, familiar people are happy to say that today her mother let her go to school alone, and the adults who communicated with her all gave her the warmest smile, and her mother also hid behind her and watched her go to school a little bit.
Letting go is also a kind of love.
Many children hope that they can grow up, but also try to learn to grow up, parents can worry but should not let this worry become a constraint, appropriate letting go can make him adapt to flying earlier.
five
The family is the child's first lesson, and the parents are the child's initial teachers
Excellent children must have a quality education, and parents must be the best teachers for children. A child's first classroom is not kindergarten or elementary school, but a family that has not yet entered the school.
When a child steps into school, your family's educational achievements are displayed, some children are well-behaved and sensible, and some children are willful and naughty.
Parents must know very early that the child is a new life, he will continue your inheritance, but will have a new life.
Some roads must be walked by himself, and some sufferings must also be experienced by himself; some things must also be done by himself;
You give him a little pressure to develop his ability to withstand pressure;
You give him a little suffering to develop his ability to digest suffering;
You give him a little obstacle to cultivate his problem-solving thinking;
You give him a little time to develop his ability to live independently;
After all, he has his life needs to experience, there is his road to go, his parents can not accompany him to walk the road of a lifetime, so he should take advantage of the time of companionship to cultivate his character and habits, lay a solid foundation for him.
Thumbs up, I'm Bu Yu.