Friends are friendly, I am Miao Baoping, a psychological counselor, and the name of the network is like dust.
Today we continue to read Dr. Yue Xiaodong's book", "The Feeling of Ascending to Heaven: I Did Psychological Counseling at Harvard University": "Chapter 3 Career Choice: Listen to Your Own, Or Listen to Your Parents".
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Career choices are one of the most important choices in life, and parents' expectations often conflict with their children's choices. Among them, psychological counselors should help the counselor to recognize themselves and enhance their psychological communication with their parents. Counsellors should also take care not to act as arbitrators of conflict between parents and children, but rather as mediators. This is exactly what the following consultation notes are trying to illustrate.
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JiaHui is a Chinese-American who is in her fourth year at Harvard University.
She was gentle in temperament, well-mannered, and spoke slowly and methodically. She came to me to talk about her career destination. Because we are both Chinese, the dialogue between us is basically Chinese.
Jiahui has loved literature since childhood, and her composition has always been good. After attending Harvard, she worked as a reporter for Crimson, a student-run newspaper at Harvard University, and was recently promoted to associate editor. At the same time, she continued to contribute to some influential newspapers and magazines in the United States, and was very popular with the editor-in-chief of a women's magazine, and almost every vote was awarded.
Jiahui's dream is to become a famous reporter or columnist.
Unfortunately, Jiahui's parents, especially her father, did not think so. They gave Jiahui two choices, one was to study medicine and the other was to study law.
Jiahui's father was a doctor and her uncle was a lawyer. When the two brothers came to the United States from Taiwan to study, one wanted to study literature and the other wanted to study art, and as a result, neither of them developed according to their original interests, but chose another professional direction according to the needs of real life. As a result, Jiahui's father often taught Jiahui: "The most realistic thing in the United States is a very realistic society is money." If you have money, you will be respected, and if you don't have money, you will be regarded. And the two most reliable professions for making money are doctors and lawyers, you know. ”
Jiahui has an older sister who decided to study medicine in front of two choices given by her parents and is currently studying at Harvard Medical School. In view of this, Jiahui's parents hope that she will be as obedient as her sister, choose to go to Harvard Law School or medical school, and find a high-paying job after graduation.
But Jiahui's dream is to become a well-known writer and write several best-selling books based on the literary world. She has an indescribable excitement and anticipation for writing, and she says that the warmest moment of her life is the moment when she sits in front of the computer and writes an article. Unfortunately, Jiahui's father can't share her dream of being a writer, and his biggest concern is when Jiahui will apply to Harvard Law School.
JiaHui really didn't know what to do.
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The author of this chapter proposes a thing that is both universal and rare, from ancient times to the present, from abroad to China, we must have had this topic ourselves and our parents.
Does the profession choose to listen to oneself or to one's parents? I don't think there is absolute right or wrong with this choice. Only in China, in the eyes of many parents, teachers, doctors, civil servants are easy and earning jobs, perhaps, your parents are successful people, their experience is also desirable, for your professional and work arrangements are well thought-out, standing on the shoulders of parents, help to achieve the goal with half the effort. Spending time and energy in more places, rather than repeating the setbacks of the predecessors, is also a good career choice, and the so-called "son inherits the father's business" is also a very glorious career choice. Poor parents in the world!
With the progress of the times, some young people today are more enterprising and courageous, they are reluctant to work under the protection of their parents, believing that the arrangement of parents is a kind of constraint for their children. Parents' arrangements are not necessarily their favorite professions, they are not interested in occupations, they will not do their best, they are not willing to live day after day, boring and tedious life. These young people believe that there may be a better way out for innovators, can you say that their choices are wrong?
In fact, what I want to say here is why I am reluctant to illustrate this problem with some examples, because the success of others is someone else's, and your choice of career must be based on your actual situation, neither to be ambitious, nor to be afraid of the heavy, but according to your personality, financial resources, connections, and ability, you will make a comprehensive and full comparison of the advantages and disadvantages of the profession you want to choose, and do not blindly choose. You can listen to your parents' opinions more, not blindly go your own way, explain your career plan to your parents clearly, and get support. The most important thing is to think more about the possibility of failure, how much can you accept failure? Once you have decided on your career choice, you must do it with all your might, not afraid of setbacks, not afraid of hardships, and strive for success.
Career choices are one of the most important choices in life, and there are no absolute successes and failures in things in the world. Although it is said that the three hundred and sixty lines are out of line, sometimes it really needs some luck. Career choices require our parents and children to understand and support each other. Sometimes there are disagreements, so let time prove it. No matter which option it is, if you can do it without complaining, without accusation, and let the river and mountain start all over again, this is the best result!
There are poems to prove it:
Xiong Guan Man Dao is really like iron, and now he steps forward from the beginning.
Long winds and waves will sometimes hang directly on the clouds and sails to the sea.
October 28, 2021 #Counselor said #