Why is my child still addicted to mobile phones when the big test is approaching?

The annual high school entrance examination is approaching, and the vast majority of students are sprinting nervously at this time, so the psychological state before the examination that is concerned by teachers, students and parents has also become a top priority. The reporter learned from major hospitals that a quarter of the recent psychological counseling clinic seekers are junior high school students, students who are under the pressure of the exam have pre-exam anxiety, but some small patients are addicted to mobile phones and online games to cope... Why has the middle school student group become the "hardest hit area" of "game addiction"? What are the reasons behind "gaming addiction" and how can it be prevented? How can psychologists help them quit their "cell phone addiction"? It is reported that Internet addiction or gaming disorder has been listed by WHO as a mental and behavioural disorder in 2017, and related professional treatment is also underway. To this end, the reporter interviewed Zhang Xu, deputy director of the Department of Clinical Psychology of the Affiliated Hospital of Qingdao University, to support families and parents with such confusion.

Narration 1

The good students who "collapsed" immersed in the network did not qualify for this year's middle school entrance examination

Tong Tong (pseudonym), 14, has been "immersed" in the online world for a year now. At the beginning, I just played with my mobile phone until late, and my parents reminded me that I didn't notice anything unusual. Later, it gradually developed into adults who did not talk and did not care, their eyes were always staring at the screen, and even except for school time, all eyes were focused on the mobile phone screen. Tong Tong, who had been developing well in school grades and interests and talents, and made his parents proud, suddenly seemed to have changed as a person.

"According to the original plan, Tong Tong could pass the piano level ten before the third year of junior high school, but now that she has completely given up piano training, we can't say anything." Tongtong's mother, Ms. Zhang, helplessly told reporters that once, the piano teacher called and said that Tongtong had not come to class for two weeks. "After anxious searching, we finally found her at the drink shop downstairs from the piano teacher, when she was playing a mobile game. Ms. Zhang noticed the child's abnormality, she began to prohibit Tong Tong from touching the mobile phone, and Tong Tong's reaction made parents even more frightened.

On the first day of being restricted from playing mobile phones, Kirito began to get angry, crying loudly at home, and even smashing everything on the coffee table. For the next few days, she went on hunger strike, did not go to school, and lay in bed every day without saying a word. After repeated confrontations, her parents had no choice but to suspend her from school.

After the treatment of the psychologist, Tongtong's condition has now improved, but the whole recovery process requires a long period of psychological treatment and parental companionship. Tong Tong, who was supposed to take the middle school entrance examination this year, had to prepare for the middle school entrance examination next year.

The lack of introspection blames some "addictions" are forced out

Once a child is addicted to online games, parents often put all the responsibility on the game at the first time, and when they bring it up, they hate it and grit their teeth, thinking that the game has ruined the child. But in the eyes of the psychiatrist, this accusation is too simple and crude, and lacks introspection.

According to Zhang Xu, at present, patients who come to the psychology department because of Internet addiction are getting younger and younger. "In previous years, it was generally 16-18 years old teenagers accounted for the majority, and in recent years, it has been concentrated in 14-18 years old, and even primary school students. During the treatment, Kirito confided in the doctor that she was addicted to the game because she felt that the pressure to study was too much. "My parents always expected me to be the first in the exam, to improve every time, I had to work hard all the time, I felt too tired. Tong Tong said that she complained to her parents more than once, not only did not get comfort, but in exchange for weekend "one-on-one" make-up classes, she initially just wanted to reduce stress through games, but did not expect that the pressure after addiction was even greater.

"Treatment of Internet addiction requires 'adapting to local conditions', understanding the real causes of children's Internet addiction, and targeted solutions are the best recipe." Zhang Xu said that criticism, scolding, blindly forcing children to "cut off" the connection with the Internet, or make children more rebellious, resulting in irreparable tragedies such as school weariness, illness, and violence. For network infatuation, specific problems should be analyzed specifically, and through a variety of ways to help them establish a correct attitude towards life and a positive self-motivation, so that they have the ability to analyze and judge problems dialectically and objectively, and have strong self-management and self-control capabilities, so as to have a healthy and positive attitude towards life and strong ability and quality.

Narration 2

In reality, it is very frugal but spends a lot of money in the online world

There is also a recently treated high school senior Qian qian (pseudonym), which also impressed Zhang Xu. In the past two years, she has invested tens of thousands of yuan in the game to buy clothes and accessories for the game characters. Zhang Xu recalled, "I chatted with her and found that the child was also a very frugal little girl on weekdays, and in her own words, she had to shop around to buy bags of seaweed." "But it was such a frugal girl who used all the pocket money given to her by her parents in a game."

Originally, in the game world, Qianqian is a "social king" who holds the moon in the stars, but in reality, she is short and small, and she does not dare to look at others directly when she speaks. "It's like a disguise, using it to wrap yourself up and get attention and attention that you can't feel in real life." Zhang Xu analysis believes that the psychological root of the formation of Internet addiction is generally a certain psychological needs that have not been met, and this part of the adolescents often lack self-esteem, self-confidence, and low self-esteem in reality, so it is easy to fall infatuated with the Internet and release their own repressed emotions in a virtual environment.

Like Qianqian in this story, there is no criticism, no accusation in the online world, only encouragement and reward, and immediate cash, no hard waiting. This mechanism of rapid reward stimulates the individual brain to secrete a pleasant and happy dopamine, it can be said that the network gives her a sense of immediate achievement full of appreciation, and for Qianqian, the stimulation, pleasure and even happiness brought by these cyberspace and games are difficult to find in real life.

Be an ally of your child and set reasonable rules and boundaries

Zhang Xu said that at present, the treatment of online game addiction is clinically a combination of family, drugs and psychological counseling. But drug treatment can only alleviate some of the symptoms and cannot solve the problem fundamentally. "The key is still the companionship of parents, parents must try to communicate with their children more, understand the needs of children, let children live a quality, happy, meaningful life, children will slowly be freed from the whirlpool of networks and games." ”

"There are many parents who see signs of Internet addiction and take away their mobile phones or computers immediately as a punishment, and of course their children will be very angry. Some parents are so frightened that they stop having their children online, thinking that this is the only way to get rid of the problem. In fact, both of these methods can be troublesome. Zhang Xu pointed out that because both methods will internalize children as not good children, parents are blocking what they like, so they will see parents as enemies rather than allies.

What parents need to do is to sit down with their children and discuss the time to use the Internet, thereby determining a limit of usage, such as: an hour of time to surf the Internet every night after homework, a few weekends, etc. Help children follow the rules and remember to give timely encouragement and rewards so that children realize that parents are not trying to control or change their personality, but are trying to help them get rid of their psychological dependence on the Internet.

Guanhai News/Qingdao Morning Post reporter

Yang Jian, Xu Xiaoqin Photography Report (except by signature)

Source: Qingdao Morning Post