"Ruthlessness may not be really heroic, how pitiful is not a husband." This year marks the 140th anniversary of Mr. Lu Xun's birth and the 85th anniversary of his death. Mr. Lu Xun is a great writer, thinker, and also an enlightener of modern parenting concepts.
The poet Mr. Liu Yazi once said: "In modern times, the greatest figure in children's education, I was the first to admire Mr. Lu Xun. Lu Xun's educational concept is concentrated in the famous essay "How Do We Be Fathers Now", and it is still very inspiring to revisit this article today.
Love and respect are equally important, and high-quality accompaniment of children
"How Do We Fathers Now" says how to love children? Extremely simple. "It is according to the phenomena of the biological world, first, to preserve life; second, to continue this life; third, to develop this life (that is, evolution)." There are three specific points: understanding, guidance, and liberation.
The first is understanding. "The world of children is completely different from that of adults; if you do not understand first, blindly doing things will greatly hinder the development of children." The second is guidance. "The elder must be the facilitator negotiator, but not the commander." The third is liberation. "Fulfill their educational duty and give them the ability to stand on their own feet"; "At the same time emancipate, all for themselves, as an independent person." ”
Lu Xun had not yet been a father when he wrote this article, but after becoming a father, the education of his son was carried out in full accordance with these ideas, "sound production, education as far as possible, and complete liberation." ”
Lu Xun's parenting process is to attach equal importance to love and respect, and to treat children as independent people to love, respect and guide.
Lu Xun was very fond of his children, and he made up his own songs and songs to coax the children to sleep; when the children grew up, they told him stories, "Every night you must listen to stories, tell how dogs and bears live, how turnips grow up, and so on." It takes a lot of work. ”
But he was not doting, hai baby recalled: "I was at home, and I felt that my father was like a normal family, and more kind, and did not shout or reprimand." Of course, there are also times when he sees that I am not obedient, take a piece of paper rolled up, and gently hit it on the ass, which is completely a deterrent effect. ”
In Haiying's memoir "Seventy Years with Lu Xun", many fathers recorded the company of many fathers, and these shared times were to respect the children's preferences and help the children choose the right entertainment: "I was very lucky in my childhood, and whenever there were movies suitable for children to watch, my father always let me watch with him, or it can be said that he accompanied me to watch. Sometimes my mother led me and a few cousins to see cartoons like "Mickey Mouse." I remember watching movies with my father, including "Tarzan of the Apes", "Son of Tarzan", "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and documentaries such as world scenery. ”
Do not stop the "destructive force" and protect the curiosity of the child
Lu Xun wrote a story about destroying children's toys in his essay "Kite". I "have never loved to fly a kite, not only do I not love him, but I hate him, because I think this is what a child does." Did not understand why the little brother liked to fly kites, and rudely destroyed the brother's elaborate kite. In middle age, "I unfortunately occasionally read a foreign book on children and learned that play is the most legitimate act of children, and toys are children's angels." At this time, he realized that the scene where he destroyed his brother's toy was tantamount to "spiritual torture." He apologized to his brother, who had long since become an adult, and patiently played with the children after becoming a father himself.
Children's destructive desire and curiosity are closely related, how to teach children to cherish objects while protecting the enthusiasm for exploration? Lu Xun's approach is, first, understanding, and second, patience.
Hai Bao was a toy destroyer when he was a child, and he dismantled everything he could, because he wanted to see the internal structure and thought that he was sure that he could restore it. Mr. and Mrs. Qu Qiubai once gave Hai Bao a set of toys, he learned hundreds of spelling methods, and he was able to use his imagination and spell out new tricks. Once, the phonograph that his father bought for him was also dismantled, and of course, it was finally restored. He became more and more bold, and once dismantled the sewing machine that his father bought for his mother. For his destructive power and curiosity, his parents never stopped him, as long as he returned to his original state.
Lu Xun recorded the growth of the child in many letters, for the "demolition of the big Wang Hai Baby", Lu Xun is not rudely reprimanded, but understands the child's curiosity, "He likes to play, a few days ago bought him a set of carpenters to play with children, so now every day in the nail, but soon will be bored." The sea baby was a complete toy nor was it. His theory of toys is, 'Take it down when you see it.'" "The baby still doesn't read, makes trouble at home, and breaks up toys, but she knows much more than in the first half of the year and is more obedient."
Image source: pixabay
Respect your child's independent will
Lu Xun does not ignore his children's feelings because of their young age. He replied seriously to the child's innocent words: "He [Hai Bao] asked last year: 'Can Daddy eat?'" My reply was, 'You can eat it, but you don't eat it.' This year I stopped asking and decided not to eat. ”
Xiao Hong mentioned one thing in "Remembering Mr. Lu Xun": "The dish called from the Fujian restaurant has a bowl of balls made of fish. As soon as the sea baby ate it, she said that it was not fresh, Mr. Xu (Lu Xun's wife Xu Guangping) did not believe it, and no one else believed it. Because some of the balls are fresh, some are not fresh, and what others eat in their mouths is just not changed. Mr. Xu gave another one to the sea baby, and the sea baby ate it, and it was not good, and he shouted again. No one else paid attention, and Mr. Lu Xun took the sea baby dish to taste, and sure enough, it was not fresh. Mr. Lu Xun said: "What he said is not fresh, there must be his reason, and it is not right to erase it without examining it." ’”
Lu Xun's respect for his children is also manifested in the name. "Let's take a name 'Sea Baby'!" Hai Baby', a child born in Shanghai, he grew up, willing to use it, unwilling to use it and change it again. For the future of the child, he respects the child's own wishes and gives his own guidance. Lu Xun said in his will: "When a child grows up, if he has no talent, he can find some small things to live, and he must not become an empty writer or artist." Later, Haiying studied radio in the Physics Department of Peking University, became a radio expert, and liked photography as an amateur, taking a lot of precious images.
Lu Xun's educational thinking and life practice were consistent, and throughout his life, he "shouldered the floodgates of darkness and let them go to a wide and bright place." And the words of a hundred years ago still shine brightly: "Cultivate their physical strength to endure labor, pure and noble morality, the spirit of broad freedom to accommodate new trends, that is, the strength to swim in the new trends of the world and not be submerged." ”
Source: Popular Science Times
Author: Li Zhengrong
Editor: Mao Mengyuan
Review: Wang Fei
Final Judge: Chen Lei
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