Regarding children's education, there have been many sayings since ancient times, such as "three years old to see the big, seven years old to see the old", "no rules and no squares", etc., the experience of these older generations are telling us the importance of early education.
We all know that before the age of 6 is the "golden age" for children to establish a sense of rules, seize this important period, teach children to abide by the basic norms of behavior, for the formation of their independent personality and future development is very important.
The reason is understood, why do the rules you set for your children not work?
"Many families whose rules don't work are mostly because they don't have the right way."
Li Meijin, who specializes in juvenile delinquency psychology, once confessed.
In fact, the most important thing is to master these 3 key points:
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="01" > "consistency" is a prerequisite for establishing rules</h1>
● First of all, follow the principle of "internal and external consistency".
Making rules for children should start at home, and the rules to be followed outside should also be followed back home. Only by insisting on internal and external consistency can children accept and abide by these rules.
● Second, implement "family-wide consistency".
For example, if you set a rule for your child that "you can only eat one piece of chocolate per week", parents must abide by it together, and the attitude should be consistent, and do not change it at any time.
● Finally, adhere to the "same attitude".
No matter what the child says and how he cries, he must firmly express an attitude of "we have said that we can't do it."
Let him understand that unreasonable needs will not be met, so that in the whole process, he will gradually realize what kind of requirements are allowed, and the child will know how to abide by the rules and reduce unreasonable demands.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="02" > verbal gentleness is the way to enforce the rules</h1>
In the process of educating children, we must avoid fierce speech, when the child makes a mistake, we can calmly and gently tell the child: "Child, you have done this wrong, why don't you think about the reason for the mistake?"
If your child is shaken or starts thinking about mistakes, you can praise him: "Baby, you can find your mistakes in time and correct them, and your mother is really happy." It can then be used in other ways to attract your child's attention. Educate children, do not accuse children of making mistakes, and do not use fierce words to criticize and stimulate children, only gentle words are the best way to implement the rules.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="03" > replace "no" with "can do this..."</h1>
Some parents like to use words such as "no", "can't", "can't" to make rules for their children, so that children are obedient, in fact, this is a "negative" way of education.
This kind of negative negation will dampen the child's enthusiasm, and the child with a stubborn temper or high self-esteem will also have rebellion and rebellion, causing you to care more and more about him.
Instead of using "negative" discipline to try to let children experience the authority of parents, it is better to try "positive" discipline to stimulate children's subjective initiative, for example, when children do not follow the rules, parents can replace "no" with "can be like this...", another way of speaking, it will be easier to be accepted by children.
True rules are rules that embody love, and true love is love with rules.
Why do we make rules for our children? Not to limit and bind him, but to give them the greatest freedom within "boundaries", to help them develop good habits and better serve their lives.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="04" > the power of role models is the best education</h1>
But what we need to understand is that when a child grows up in an environment, the first to have a dominant factor is the parent.
Child psychology research believes that getting along with them more, talking more, and playing more games is the best strategy for parents during the most critical period of children's growth (0-3 years old).
What kind of person the parents are is more important than what they say and do If the parents are rule-oriented, optimistic, and diligent, and the children are full of ears, I believe that they will not be worse. The power of example is the best education.
"High-level" parents will only have one way of discipline, they have always been good at themselves, as a role model education, while "low-level" parents will frequently discipline and not teach well.