Text/Contributing Author Non also
Many times, a woman's sadness is to take feelings too seriously.
For example, loving someone loses the self and gradually becomes flattering.
What is even more tragic is the delusion of snatching a love of his own from other women.
For example, believe in men who say "You are the most special, I love you the most." It was just a coincidence with her. " nonsense.
What is even more tragic is that in order to keep the man who obviously does not want to be responsible, he has repeatedly degraded himself, and even killed the original partner.
Sadly, "sad stories" play out every day.
01
Love the wrong person, accidentally go to jail
Recently, the news of a 6-year sentence for attempted murder was on the hot search.
The sentenced Su fell in love with the married man Yuan and became pregnant twice for him for more than a year from 2018 to 2019.
However, after spending a long time together, she is no longer satisfied with such a relationship.
When she became pregnant again, she hoped to be able to give birth to the child, but Yuan did not want to divorce.
Unable to ask for it, she transformed this disappointment into hatred for Yuan's wife, Li Mou.
In May 2019, Su learned that Li was ill and hospitalized, and he became evil and wanted to kill her quietly. I thought that yuan would be with her.
She searched online for cardiac arrest through intravenous potassium chloride and bought a white coat, 2 10 ml potassium chloride injections and 2 syringes from a pharmacy near the hospital.
At about 10 p.m. on May 19, Su drew potassium chloride into the syringe in the hospital bathroom in advance and disguised himself as a nurse to come to Li's ward.
At first, she pushed a small amount of potassium chloride into Li's indwelling needle, and Li immediately felt an unbearable pain. So, she put the medicine directly into the small pot of the infusion tube and left the hospital in a hurry.
Li called the nurse because he was in too much pain. The nurse quickly discovered the anomaly, terminated the infusion, and subsequently found a high concentration of potassium ions inside the infusion tube.
At the same time, the nurse immediately chose to call the police. The police quickly grasped the basic facts, and Su confessed in the face of irrefutable evidence. In this process, Yuan did not stand up for her once. Instead, after learning that she was 3 months pregnant, Li issued a letter of understanding and gave up asking for 160,000 yuan in mental damages.
It is not known where Li and Yuan should go in the future, but it is a foregone conclusion that Su will spend 6 years in prison.
Some netizens said that this woman is really stupid, can she afford to put her life into it for such a person?
Some people also say that Li is also a strange person, he will be killed, and he still chooses to forgive, is it difficult to re-repair the old with Yuan?
In this triangle relationship provoked by Yuan, the behavior of the two women is quite lamentable. Su Mou did not understand that love is passion, but it is more a responsibility, how can such a half-hearted man be worthy of trust? Even if he desperately grabs it, he will eventually leave, because a person who does not know what loyalty is will never stay in one place for too long.
Li Mou's generosity, if he has put it down because he has seen through it, is worthy of admiration. I am afraid that I fantasize about using such kindness to impress men to return to themselves.
02
"Crazy for Love" is "Crazy" not "Love"
Losing your mind for so-called love has nothing to do with experience or knowledge, but with mentality.
If Li Kills for Love because of short-sightedness, then many talented and beautiful women in history are crazy for love because they are confused by love, and they don't know that many times love is just a heart disease.
"Rodin's Lover" is such a heart-wrenching story.
The talented young sculptor Adele fell in love with the master sculptor Rodin, knowing that he had a family, but still disregarded the eyes of outsiders and was with him.
She is so talented, so beautiful and innocent, like a rising star, dazzling. As long as she wants, she can have an incomparably bright future, and she can find the other half that hurts her to the bone.
However, she fell in love with Rodin, who was more than 20 years older than him. In order to support his career, he worked hard and exhausted, shutting himself in the studio day and night.
And he also regarded her as his only inspiration muse, after all, this woman is so beautiful and moving, her sculpting ability is amazing, and more importantly, she can inspire his strong creative inspiration.
However, when Adele made a request to marry him, he hesitated because he could not leave his current wife. Although she does not understand art, she takes care of his life wholeheartedly, he likes to eat the dishes she cooks, and he also enjoys her meticulous care.
Adele is reluctant to share the same man with other women and let him choose between himself and her.
Rodin didn't want to make a choice, he just wanted to sit back and enjoy the blessings of the people, and blamed her for fooling around and not asking too much.
Adele could only choose to silently shed the child alone. Since then, Rodin has almost disappeared from Adele's world, yet he has taken root in Adele's heart like a cancer.
Rodin's departure, taking away the sun of her life, began to cry uncontrollably in public about her disappointment in him.
Later, she shut herself in her studio, nailed all the windows with wooden planks, and worked frantically. Drink when it's hard, and even the seine flood floods the basement.
Slowly, she became more and more withdrawn, as sensitive as a frightened bird, and became a crazy woman in the eyes of others.
Finally, after a failed exhibition of her works, she completely collapsed, picked up an axe and smashed all the hard-made statues into pieces, and then packed them in wooden boxes, and dragged them all into the wild to bury them all in the endless darkness.
When she buried these works of hope, love, happiness, belonging, and security in her life with her bare hands, she also buried herself.
Since then, she has stopped creating, can't even take care of herself, and her family has had to send her to a nursing home where she can die.
And the man who dragged her from heaven to hell, Rodin, never appeared again.
Rodin was undoubtedly talented, but he was even more selfless, Adele loved him wholeheartedly, and he only saw her as a tool to satisfy one of his life's desires. As long as she can no longer provide these values, she is far away.
Wrong love for someone, Adele's life fell from heaven to hell, anyone who looks at it is difficult to reconcile, right?
03
Love others, but also love yourself
When it comes to cheating, many people have a consensus that "if it is because of love, it can be understood" In fact, whether it is love or physical pleasure, it is just a human desire, and there is no distinction between high and low.
There is nothing wrong with love, there is nothing wrong with pursuing physical pleasure, what is wrong is being dominated by desire and becoming a selfish person. It's like the man who ate the pig in Spirited Away.
Man becomes a human being because he is able to control his desires. Therefore, everyone who actively intervenes in the feelings of others, especially those who have lost their rational conscience, such as Su Mou, has more or less psychological obstacles.
From a psychological point of view, what kind of person is more likely to be a "crazy third party"?
1. People with anxious attachment
Building a healthy and deep relationship with a person is an ability that relates to the type of attachment we form from an early age.
People with anxious attachment in general are characterized by both a desire for a relationship and a particular fear of building one. It's easier to get involved in messy relationships.
Triangular relationships are characterized by strong emotional arousal, but are doomed to fail to establish stable relationships. In this way, you can simultaneously satisfy the inner appeal of having a close relationship without having to make a commitment.
For them, neither morality nor marriage is bondage, because what she wants is never a stable relationship, but an emotional game that is both true and false.
2, self-grown very poor people.
The ego is gradually formed in the process of colliding with the environment, and from about the age of 2 years old, we gradually realize that I am me and others are others.
In the language of psychology, the self is the self, the object is the object, the good separation of the self and the object is a sign of a person's complete growth, and the self needs to be well cared for before it is mature enough.
If a person has not been well loved since childhood, and has not been able to establish a long-term, intimate and stable relationship with anyone, it is easy to get involved in a chaotic relationship.
Because I don't know what a healthy relationship is like, I will be like a drowning person, subconsciously clinging to the straw that is just enough.
The performance is that no matter how good or bad it is, you want to grasp it. For example, where are people like Su mou and Yuan mou so worthy of attachment? However, in her opinion, it is a person who can open up her life to fight.
"Dead entangled, unwilling to let go" is the general feature of "dog blood derailment drama", but often not because of love, but because the self is destroyed too thoroughly, the mind is not mature enough.
3. People with low self-esteem.
In the view of Adler, the pioneer of individual psychology, low self-esteem leads to low levels of self-esteem.
Whether a person is confident or inferior is often not related to her ability, but to her perception of herself. Even if a person is very good, as long as she feels that she is not good enough, she will be endlessly self-critical.
Adele fell in love with Rodin and went mad about it in large part because he represented the world's recognition of her artistic talent. Her life is not so much a tragedy that cannot be asked for, but rather a lament that struggles to prove herself.
For all people, being loved means being fully accepted by one person, and this recognition can offset the ubiquitous feeling of inferiority in the heart.
That is, a person with low self-esteem, she will fall madly in love with the person who can give her a certain amount of confidence. The so-called kneeling love, inferiority is the biggest pusher.
As the saying goes, there must be something sad about the hateful.
Everyone despises third parties, in fact, how could she ever value herself?
I am Pan Xingzhi, your personal emotional counselor. If you need professional help, send me a private message to help you get through an emotional crisis.