How children learn to lie at a young age:
"Why don't you have any candy in the house?"
"It was the ants who moved away."
"How did you break the toy?"
"It was the bear who broke it."
But don't treat child dishonesty as a flood beast.
Instead, parents should understand the truth behind their children's lies and form positive guidance for their children.
The reason why the child lied was revealed
Avoid being blamed
There is no lie without fear.
No child is naturally willing to lie, a small part of it may be instinctive, and most of it should be a judgment made by the child based on his own experience.
So, what you want to reflect on is:
Is it usually a little harsh on children?
Have you been mishandled in the past with your child's "negligence"?
Can't tell the difference between imagination and reality
If you walk into the world of children, you will understand what they have in mind.
Children aged 3-5 perceive the world in an imagery (image) manner.
During this period, some of their inner feelings are directly presented in their minds in the form of pictures, and they cannot distinguish between psychological reality and objective reality.
When a child breaks a toy, he is afraid. For what scares us, the most direct instinctive reaction of people is to run away.
When parents ask their children who broke it, the child's first reaction is to deny it, to find a "back pot man", and will form in their minds the mistakes of others.
Because they can't distinguish between psychology and reality, they will think that this is what really happened. So when parents don't believe it, they will also feel wronged.
Tips for dealing with lying to your child
There's no one-size-fits-all answer to tell you what to do. For children of different ages, there will be different ways to deal with them in different situations.
But there is a common point: parents should first hold on to the judgment of "you lied, you did something bad", and first go to understand what is really happening to the child.
Try to understand your child's psychology
Observe your child more
Understanding what is happening in the child's psychological world, caring for her vulnerability, giving support and strength, this is the foundation of responsibility and responsibility.
For example, if the child says that "things are damaged by the bear", you can also have a dialogue with the child through the bear, and the child tells the bear "Don't be afraid, the bear mother is very worried about it, let it come out and continue to play".
Don't label your child casually
Even if your child lies to you, don't easily equate your child's lying with human nature and quality.
Don't label your child as a "little liar" or "liar."
Such a label will not only hurt the child, but also may make the child "break the jar" and tell more lies.
In life, there are too many such things. You must have seen or heard about it, or even happened to yourself.
It is not too difficult for a small child to achieve what an adult cannot fully do!
Teaching by example is the best teacher
When we are in a hurry to catch fire on our children's lies, we must introspect whether we have also lied to our children.
Because I didn't want to go out, I said, "The amusement park is closed."
Because I don't want to buy toys, I say "I can't afford it.".
Asking children to be 100% honest, but allowing themselves to have small lies, educating children with such double standards, you can't blame children for "repeatedly teaching".
Don't scold your child
If a child lives in a loving, respected family, then the child's first reaction to something wrong is not to escape.
If the child tells the truth, he can give the child a hug or kiss, tell the child that the parents will like the honest child, and hope that he will continue to be an honest person.