"Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales" stupid Hans

Idiot Hans (network image)

In the far hinterland there was a luxurious old mansion in which an old gentleman lived, and the old gentleman had two brilliant sons, and it was enough for ordinary people to have half their cleverness. They were going far away to propose to the king's daughter. For the princess had announced that she would find the best eloquent lad in the kingdom to be her husband.

The two geniuses had only a week to prepare. But they have so much knowledge, and this time is enough. One of them had memorized the entire Latin dictionary and the town's daily newspaper for three years, all of them so well that they were even backwards. The other was familiar with all the provisions of the law, and he knew everything that a magistrate should know, so he thought he could talk freely about the affairs of the state, and he would do one thing, that is, embroider roses or other flowers on his belt, and he was a gentleman with dexterous fingers.

"I will definitely marry the princess!" They both said so. So their father alone gave them a horse. The one who could carry dictionaries and newspapers got a black horse, while the other got a milky white horse. Then they wipe the corners of their mouths with cod liver oil so that they can become greasy and slippery and able to speak. All the servants stood in the courtyard waiting for them to get on their horses. Just then the third son of the old gentleman came out, but no one compared him to his two older brothers, for he was not as clever as they were, even a little stupid, and everyone called him "Stupid Hans."

"Where are you going, and why are you all wearing the most beautiful holiday dresses?" Stupid Hans asked.

"We went to the palace to propose to the king's daughter. Everyone knows that notice, haven't you heard of it? So they told him the ins and outs of the matter.

"Oops! I'm going too! Stupid Hans cried out, and his two older brothers burst out laughing, got on their horses and left.

"My good father," cried Hans, "I want a horse too, and I want to marry the king's daughter!" If the girl wants me, I can get her; if she doesn't want me, I still have to get her, anyway, I want to get her! ”

"What nonsense!" Father said, "I'm not going to give you a horse!" Hmm, you're talking unorganized! Nothing compared to your two brothers, they are real gentlemen. ”

"Well," said the fool Hans, "if you don't give me a horse, then I'll ride the ram, which is mine, and it will certainly carry me." ”

So he did exactly that, riding on a male goat, holding the sheep's body between his legs, and running down the street like a hurricane.

"Hey, ho! That's how painful it is! I'm here too! Stupid Hans shouted and sang, and his singing sounded far away.

His two older brothers rode slowly in front of him on horseback. They don't say anything, each thinking about the beautiful words they will say when they arrive, and it is wise to prepare these words in advance.

"Hey!" Only to hear stupid Hans shouting in the back, "I'm coming!" See what I picked up on the way. "He showed them a dead crow.

"Stupid!" The two brothers said, "What are you going to do with it?" ”

"What to do? That is also said, of course, to the princess. ”

"Okay, then you can send it." They laughed again and rode away on horseback.

"Hey, I'm keeping up with you again!" Look what I've found again this time, it's not something I can find every day! ”

The two brothers looked back to see what he had found.

"Stupid!" They cried, "It's just an old wooden shoe, and it doesn't even have a upper." Are you going to give this to the princess too? ”

Stupid Hans replied, "That's still needed to be said, of course sent." The two brothers laughed again and rode away. Just like that, they were far ahead of him, but...

"Hey, here I am again!" It's Idiot Hans again. "Great, things are getting better," he cried, "hooray!" It's the best. ”

"What, what did you find again?" The two brothers asked.

"Oh," said stupid Hans, "I can't even tell you." The princess will be very happy to see her! "Yuck!" The two brothers said, "That's just mud dug up in the ditch." ”

"Yes, it's mud," said stupid Hans, "but this is the best mud, and you see it's wet, and you can't catch it by sliding it between your fingers." So he packed a bag of mud. But his two older brothers didn't care what he said, swinging their whips until mars came straight under their hooves. As a result, they came to the city gate only an hour earlier than the stupid Hans. There are many people proposing marriage at the city gate. There were soldiers who numbered the marriage proposers, and the two brothers immediately went to the queue as soon as they arrived, and a row of six people crowded so that they could not even move their arms. It's really a tense arrangement, and if they move a little, or if someone doesn't take sides by the rules, someone will raise their fists.

The palace was surrounded by residents, and the crowd crammed under the window, everyone wanted to see how the princess received the people who proposed to her. But as soon as each suitor entered the hall, he was as nervous as a blown candle and unable to speak. So the princess said, "He can't!" Fuck off! "Finally it was the brother who could memorize the dictionary, but as soon as he stood there, he forgot everything and couldn't recite anything. The floor seemed to echo with his footsteps, and he saw himself standing upside down in the ceiling made of mirrors. At each window stood three clerks and a municipal magistrate who would jot down every word they said. The atmosphere here is very tense, and the fire in the fire is so strong that the house seems to be about to boil.

"It's horribly hot here!" Big Brother said.

"Yes," replied the princess, "because my father is roasting chicken today." ”

"Whew!" He stood there like a sheep. He was not prepared for such a conversation, and though he was tempted to say something funny and humorous, he could not say anything. "Whew!" He just screamed like that.

"He can't!" The princess said, "Take him out!" So he had to leave. This time it was the second brother's turn to come in.

"It's horribly hot here!" He said.

"Yes, we're roasting chicken today." The princess replied.

"What... What the...... What do you say..." he stammered. All the clerks wrote down: "What... What the...... What do you say..."

"He's of no use at all!" The princess said, "Take him out!" ”

This time it was The turn of Fool Hans. He rode his ram all the way to the hall.

"Oh, it's hot here."

"Yes, because I'm roasting chicken." The princess replied.

"Ah, then my luck is really good!" Stupid Hans said, "Because I guess you might let me roast my crow by the way, right?" The princess laughed and said, "Very welcome, but what do you use to roast it?" Because I don't have crock pots or frying pans. Hans said, "I have a frying pan with a handle here." He said and took out the old wooden shoe and put the crow inside.

"Ha, this is a famous dish!" The princess said, "But with what spices?" ”

"Oh, I have it in my pocket," said Hans, "and I have more, and it doesn't hurt to use it." He said and poured out the mud in his pocket.

"I like it!" The princess said, "You answer very well, you are very talkative, and you will become my husband!" But you noticed no, they wrote down every word we said and it will be published in the newspaper tomorrow. You look at the three clerks and one municipal officer at each window over there, and the old one is the worst, because he can't understand anything. The princess said this just to scare the stupid Hans. Several clerks laughed out loud, and the ink on the pen splashed to the ground.

"Oh, those guys are gentlemen, aren't they?" Hans said, "Then I'm going to give them my best." So he opened his pocket and threw the mud in the face of the magistrate.

"Well done!" The princess said, "I can't do that yet, but I'll learn it sooner or later." ”

In this way, the stupid Hans married the princess and put on the crown to become king.