During the heavy snow this year, Sun Mu took annual leave to go home to visit his grandmother.
Grandpa died of cancer three years ago. Before Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, there was already a symptom of the disease, but the stubborn Grandpa delayed it again and again, until the pain was unbearable in the later stage, and then went to the hospital.
At that time, Sun Mu had not yet gone out to work, had just graduated from college, and accompanied his grandfather through his last 3 months with his grandmother. She can never forget the scene she saw from the small glass window of the ward, grandma lying on the side of the bed, crying and pounding the bed, grandpa needs to change the nursing pad after the toilet, grandma is unable to turn over for grandpa.
Sun Mu's heart aches, the pain of his grandfather's increasing decline, more and more dim, he irreversibly went to the end of his life. The backer who could once carry her on his shoulders and hold her in circles was so short as a ball.
Sun Mu and his cousin grew up under the care of their grandparents, and they were all taken home in the third grade of primary school, received orthodox education, and then flew away.
Grandma also called her cousin today, and the three grandchildren sat at the mottled eight immortal table, on which were sweet and sour pork ribs, tomato eggs, stir-fried spinach, cold mix three silks, egg skin shrimp soup, all of which were her and cousin's favorite dishes.
Grandma has her own filter, and the Sun Mu in her eyes is thin and beautiful, and no one can compare.
The three grandchildren talked and laughed, as if they had returned to their childhood. Of course, Grandma knew that her grandchildren were outside in the rain and wind, ordinary and small, but unlike her parents, she knew that she could not give anything but blessings, encouragement, misses, and pampering. So, she felt that she took a step back and made a table of dishes that her grandchildren loved to eat, and it was enough; she said unrealistic praise, sincerely.
Sun Mu saw that her grandmother's hair was whiter, her back was hunched over, and her eyes were a little hot. She always lamented that the sun and the moon passed and time flew by, but she ignored that time had never stopped at her grandmother's body. She wants to go her own way, to start a family, to raise children, but she delusionally thinks that grandma will always stay where she is, waiting for her to come back to visit, forever unchanged.
After the meal, the three grandchildren leaned back on the couch and chatted. The cousin said, "Grandma, you're old, move in with my parents or uncle." Grandma said, "I live alone." ”
Then Grandma took out an old little box, opened it, and placed it in front of their siblings, which contained two bank cards and a letter.
My Children:
In this life, I am not ashamed of the heavens, I am not ashamed of the earth, I am not ashamed of my deeds, and I am not ashamed of my heart. But I'm afraid, I'm afraid I'm going to get you into trouble.
My life had entered the countdown, and I panicked, panicking that I didn't know how my life would end. You are filial, you are sensible, but when I eat and drink with you day and night, when I call you over and over again, and toss you over and over again, all the good will be consumed.
And at that time, what else could I feel except uneasiness and resentment?
Your dad and I have a total of 100,000 deposits, and I have deposited wealth management products. Then, every year, I would put my retirement salary together with the pocket money you gave me, and I would spend it again, and the passwords for both cards would be my own birthday.
I asked, when I couldn't take care of myself, to use this money to help me hire a female nanny and ensure my cleanliness and three meals a day.
When I can no longer be the master myself, let me die as soon as possible.
I have taken good care of a nursing home myself, and if one day I choose to stay in it, please understand, I just want to preserve the last decency.
I know how difficult and painful it is for you that these demands of mine are too selfish. But please understand Mom, a woman who wants to live her last life with dignity.
This house was left to Sun Mu and Sun Han and disposed of by them.
That day was the first anniversary of Grandpa's death. Sun Mu couldn't cry, and Grandma took her in her arms and said, "What to cry, Grandma is doing well now, eat well, exercise well, and have to watch us Mu Mu Sheng Xiao Mu Mu." ”
Grandma's life was so calm and calm. She is not a wealthy family, there are 3 brothers on it, are excellent people, grandma had the privilege of going to school to read, turning over the dream of the Red Chamber.
She and her grandfather worked together for the family, and she always taught her two children to be kind to others and to be strict with themselves, especially to their wives and children.
Her two daughters-in-law have completely opposite personalities, she treats everyone equally, she treats things right and wrong, and everything is under the sun, bright and upright.
Sun Mu had seen Grandpa angry, but he had never seen Grandma angry. Grandpa is the love of Grandma's life, Grandma always said: "Your grandpa has worked hard for this family all his life, alas, tired when it is difficult to secretly cry, but he has never left us, let me live a lifetime of peace and stability, I ah, just think of him." ”
Grandma spent her life frugal, managed the marriage of her two sons, gave them a reasonable place to live, and since then, she has been clearly divided and does not let go of any points.
Grandma's back has always been straight, her hair has always been undisturbed, and during Grandpa's hospitalization, she guarded day and night, arranged her children clearly, did not cause them trouble, and let them do filial piety. Sun Mu was always outside the ward late at night, listening to the whispers of the two. Sometimes Grandpa was asking, he didn't trust her; sometimes Grandpa was angry, he didn't trust her; sometimes Grandpa was spoiling, he still didn't trust her, but they were powerless to resist the law of life rising and falling.
In the end, Grandpa died, Grandma was devastated, and since then, she began to arrange her own affairs, waiting for that moment to come, and she did not trust Grandpa. Yeah, how could a grandpa without grandma be doing well?
When Sun Mu left his grandmother's house, it was nearly 8 o'clock, and the whole community was quiet. Thinking of her childhood, this neighborhood is bustling with activity, at that time, the children of Grandma's generation have successively established families, some of them are still three generations in the same house, people come and go; a little earlier, the grandchildren have fallen to the ground, waiting to be fed, and every family is happy.
Now, the children have moved out of this old neighborhood and found another place; the grandchildren are spreading their wings and flying high, and it is rare to come back. Here, it has become a deep concern in their hearts, a warm symbol, a place to dream back in the middle of the night.
Sun Mu looked at the old tree that had stood for an unknown number of years through the dim street lamp, when they were young, they picked leaves and knitted bracelets, tied ropes and swung swings, smelled flowers and picked fruits, and now that they have grown up, slowly they will become this tree, stretching out their branches, but they are powerless to return all the nutrients to the roots, this is the helplessness of life, this is the sadness of life.
She hoped that grandma would get her wish, and that the next few days would be pain-free and decent for the rest of her life.
She and her cousin have the same thick eyebrows as Grandpa and thick earlobes as Grandma, and what they leave us with are these unique and indelible marks.