Wu Zhihong said; Home is the basis for a person's original character formation and life route guidance.
In "All Is Good", Su Mu is a very strong person, before retirement, she was the head nurse of a large hospital in the city, and various medals can be hung all over the body, while Su Father is timid and cowardly, hiding behind Su Mu's tall and strong back for many years as a small man.
Su Mu raised three outstanding children under the iron fist, all of whom were the top students of the school, and the eldest Su Mingzhe graduated from Tsinghua University and went to Stanford University in the United States to study for a doctorate. The second graduated from Shanghai Fudan University, only the third could have gone to Tsinghua, because Zhao Meilan preferred sons to daughters, and was forced to study in the Normal College. However, he was forced by Su Mu to study at normal university.
But the two most outstanding sons of the Su family, Su Mu was the best for them, but they gained a lot of insults after Su Mu's sudden death.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > nerdy Su Mingzhe</h1>
Su Mingzhe is a typical Chinese good student, a hero of the college entrance examination, and the legendary "child of someone else's family". Tsinghua + Stanford University degree, the identity of Chinese Americans, are the pride of the Su family's parents at the dinner table of their neighbors.
But such an outstanding Su Mingzhe returned to China after the death of his mother and did a series of strange things.
After the death of Su Mu, his father was weak, and Su Mingzhe felt that he was the eldest son of the family and should assume the responsibility of the head of the family.
The first time he returned to China, he had never fulfilled his child obligations, and he blamed his sister for why his mother died and did not accompany her mother.
At this time, Su Mingzhe completely forgot that he was also the son of the Su family. At the same time, he does not care about his current financial ability, and he plans to take his father to live in the United States when he is not working.
Originally, he negotiated with his wife to buy a two-bedroom house for his father, but it was temporarily changed to a three-bedroom house, and the money for hiring a nanny was also borne.
Su Mingzhe's unconsciousness is also reflected in the fact that when Su Mingcheng injured his sister and faced the disaster of imprisonment, Su Mingzhe did not understand why his younger brothers and sisters had contradictions, but he called Su Mingyu like a weak mind, "Everyone is the Su family, they are all their own people, this matter is so forget."
For Su Mingzhe, the eldest brother, he did not understand Mingyu's pain, nor did he understand Mingyu's ten years of loneliness, nor did he know why his sister and brother had reached the point of intolerable water and fire, but he naively thought that a few words of "his own family" could make up for the contradiction between the two brothers and sisters who had long been hated like the sea.
Therefore, being able to read books and solving problems are two different things, Su Mingzhe, who has lived in the question bank since childhood, his way of thinking is very rigid, he deals with chicken feathers in the family, he does not know how to be flexible, so he always goes to extremes.
"For peace will hurt people" said; Behind anything that seems absurd, there is the realest reason for it.
Although Su Mingzhe has a high degree, in fact, he does not understand people's feelings. This all stems from the sense of security brought to him by his original family since childhood.
Since childhood, due to his good grades, Su Mu did not let him ask about chai rice oil and salt, which also made his ability to deal with things weaker.
Therefore, cultivate a bully who can only read, is not good at communication, and does not understand human feelings.
In fact, many parents now only look at their children's achievements and ignore the cultivation of their children's sound personality. Under the coat of many high-quality students, it is actually just a straw bag, which also leads to even high education, it is not good.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Su Mingcheng, the most pleasing to mothers</h1>
In "All Is Good", Su Mingcheng is Su Mother's favorite child, who knows how to please his mother from a young age, as long as he wants anything, lie in front of his mother, and his mother will arrange it for him.
It can be said that in the ten years that Mingzhe went to the United States and Mingyu left home, it was Su Mingcheng who accompanied his parents at home, and the laughter brought to them was incomparable to Mingyu and Mingzhe.
But at the same time, he also enjoyed all the love of his mother.
He took a large salary, but he reached out to his mother every month. I couldn't see my mother cutting back on food and clothing for him. Su Mingcheng, who considered himself filial piety, could not even get his mother's funeral money after his mother's death.
In this way, Su Mingcheng is an unscrupulous bastard, not only nibbling on the old, but also violent tendencies, beating his own sister, not at all soft.
Not only that, he is also a mother treasure man, no responsibility, no hard work, get by, and the boss is full of contradictions, and is banned by the boss.
When encountering things, he always avoided it, did not look for solutions by himself, but went to his mother's grave again and again to cry.
The investment failed, and he blamed himself for bad luck. The marriage failed, and he blamed the world for being too hot and cold.
But Su Mingcheng is smart, he has known since he was a child that his mother is strong and does not want to see his sister, so he does not hesitate to bully his sister to please his mother.
Psychology says that it will give everything it takes to please its parents and diligently fulfill their wishes in order to satisfy them, or at least not to punish themselves.
In order to better adapt to the requirements of their parents, such children will suppress their desires and feelings that are contrary to their parents' requirements, become well-behaved and obedient, and eventually become a person without self.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > everything is harmful to the child</h1>
Zhao Meilan's most valued and favorite two sons were finally hurt by her upbringing-like education model.
On the contrary, Mingyu, who was not welcomed by her, lived confidently and openly.
It is said that boys should be free-ranged, you do everything well, he does not even have the opportunity to do it, how to grow.
Mingyu is different, since she was a child, her mother did not want to see her, and she had to fight for everything she did. Instead, he trained a steel and iron bone.
Therefore, the child who is coddled is not big. Even the doting of parents is the catalyst that destroys a child's life.
The consequence of doing everything for everything is that the child is trapped in the "doting trap", unwilling to climb up, and does not know how to climb up.
Therefore, whether it is Su Mingzhe, a scholar who goes abroad to study, or Su Mingcheng, who will please his mother, because of Su Mother's everything, he finally does not understand people's feelings and cannot be independent.
Education expert Makarenko said: "Everything to the child, sacrificing everything, even sacrificing one's own happiness, this is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children." ”
It is said that education should continue to change with the growth of children, parents should have dynamic thinking, children in the eyes of parents are growing up, and children's life skills, learning ability, cognitive ability, etc. are constantly increasing.
Parents should treat their children with an attitude towards adults, believing that they can be independent and self-reliant, no longer nagging and disciplined, but learn to let go, sit on an equal footing with their children, and communicate with their children on an equal footing.
"Why Home Hurts" says: No matter how much you love your children, they are destined to leave, so that children can become truly independent people, do not use your love to bind them.