A friend's child is 5 years old and has been "lying" a lot lately. If you break something in the house, you just don't admit it; if you lose the toy, say it's in the homes of other children; if you don't like to eat something, you secretly throw it away, saying that you have eaten..... Preaching does not work, scolding is not enough, sometimes the evidence is clear, but always do not admit it, angry friends brain shell pain, really do not know what to do?
I believe that many parents have encountered this kind of problem. In my opinion, the main purpose of a child lying is to escape punishment. This also indirectly reflects the problems of parents in educating their children.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > what behaviors of parents tend to cause children to lie? </h1>
First of all, there is a problem with communication
Parents and children do not communicate well, children have ideas dare not say, or parents do not listen, so that children will achieve their goals in their own way, so it is easy to "lie" phenomenon.
Secondly, parents have the habit of beating and cursing their children
Parents are elders, children are juniors, children rely on parents to survive, and parents are bigger than children. Once the child goes against the parents' wishes, the parents will suppress the child with scolding, and the child cannot resist and is powerless to resist. Over time, the child will become timid. A child's timidity does not mean that he does not have his own ideas, so he will achieve his own goals in his own way. So, you'll see your child become a liar.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > what do parents do so that children are not prone to lying? </h1>
Respect children
Discuss everything with your child, and if you find that you disagree, you can respect your child's ideas while ensuring safety. For example, children do not like to eat fried greens, as parents, we do not need to force children to eat, think of many of us, do not like to eat bitter melon, others force you to eat a few bites, what do you feel, are you very disgusted, and even do not want to dip in the bitter melon in the future? Children are the same, in the process of getting along with children, we must have empathy, everything from the child's position, perspective to think about the problem. I think that in time, children will become such people.
In fact, many of the things we think children must do and eat can be replaced. For example, children do not eat vegetables, parents are worried about children's malnutrition, in fact, the nutrients in green vegetables are also in many other vegetables and fruits, and we can use alternatives acceptable to children to achieve this goal.
Therefore, the crux of the problem is not in the child, but in the parents, if the parents can think openly, talk to the child on an equal footing, respect the child, presumably, the child's chances of lying will also drop a lot.
Keep your hands and mouth shut
Many parents, seeing that their children are disobedient, can't help but scold, in order to achieve the goal. The goal has been achieved, but he does not know that he is getting farther and farther away from the child's heart, and he will no longer tell you his own thoughts. Alfred said: "From the perspective of individual psychology, every child who lies is because if he does not lie, he needs to bear the cost of being scolded and beaten. "Therefore, in the process of getting along with their children, parents must control their mouths and hands, and do not beat or scold without moving."
Whether it is a child or an adult, it is inevitable that they will lie, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes white lies, sometimes pranks... In any case, if it is not a life-and-death lie, it is recommended that parents deal with it calmly.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > finds that the child is lying, how can the parents do it well? </h1>
Say it without debunking it
For example, I found that my child had dumped the vegetables he didn't eat, but told me that he had finished eating them. When the child can hear it, I can say: It's a pity that these greens are not eaten and thrown in the trash! Then, do whatever you want and save some face for your child. As long as the child is not a fool, he will naturally realize that his lies have been discovered by his mother, but his mother has not exposed him in person, which will make him a little moved. Think about it, have we encountered similar situations when we were young, and have had similar desires and feelings?
Borrow stories to guide
Although many times, the child's small lies can not cause chaos, but lying is not a good habit after all, parents still have to guide the child's behavior. However, in reality, many children may not be able to listen to the bitter teachings of parents, so parents may wish to borrow stories to give their children a positive guide.
For example: tell the story of "Wolf Coming" to children, this is more classic, most of us heard it when we were young, and we also benefited.
In addition, parents can also buy relevant story books for their children, such as all 10 volumes of "Good Character Classic Fairy Tale Book", of which "Pinocchio" is to teach children to be honest.
In addition, the other 9 books also have their own themes, namely:
1, "Little Fox Buys Gloves": Found in the big winter, the big warmth can guide the child to be a lover;
2, "Ugly Duckling": after all the hardships, not discouraged, can guide children to be a confident person;
3, "Flannel Bunny": let children feel the magic of friendship!
4, "The old man can never do things wrong": love and encouragement, let life be full of happiness! Teach children to be optimistic;
5. "Stone Soup": Let children experience the power of generosity and learn to share;
6. "The Resolute Little Tin Soldier": Bravely move forward in the face of difficulties and give children the courage to overcome difficulties;
7. "Little Klaus and Big Klaus": use your brain and use wisdom to turn danger into disaster;
8, "Seven Crows": teach children to always love each other with their families;
9, "Cinderella": pure heart, in order to harvest happiness, tell children, be kind!
It can be said that the theme of each book is to face our parenting problems, and since we teach children not to listen, let the story inspire them!
During the activity, 10 books are only 39.8, each book is less than 4 yuan, parents buy it home to tell their children, let the children read it themselves. It is better than their own daily nagging, I believe that it will not be long, in the subtlety of the story, the child will develop these good characters! Parents who need it can directly click on the link below to buy!
Baby good character cultivation classic fairy tale (all 10 volumes) 0-6 years old baby bedtime parent-child story early education ¥39.8 purchase
Text: Yike parenting, want to know more scientific, interesting, material, loving parenting sharing, welcome to pay attention!
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