The divorce variety show "Goodbye Lover" is coming to an end, intermittently following these three couples who were or are now all the way to the present, I am not very curious about the ending and do not look forward to it, I feel good. But even if I look at it coldly with such a Buddhist mentality, I will still be poked at by the performance of Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong from time to time.
The reason for this, I think, may be that there is still an illusion lurking in my heart: compared with the conflict between Tong Chenjie and KK's bottom line problem, and the spiritual level of Guo Keyu and Zhang He, it seems that the cognitive difference and miscommunication problems between Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong seem to be smaller?
Of course, marriage is like a shoe, whether it fits the foot, only the parties themselves know best. In the end, it is just like people drinking water, cold and warm self-knowledge. As a bystander, it is not possible or qualified to point fingers, and even use their own standards to measure whether the other party's problem is big or small, whether it is difficult or easy. The only thing we can do is to reflect and learn from other people's stories, in order to hope that we will take fewer detours that others have taken in the future.
Source: Network (intrusion and deletion)
In the Q&A interaction on the eve of the latest issue of the decision, it was Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong who broke the defense. In the "four-minute look at each other" session of the Q&A interaction, Wang Qiuyu looked at his wife Zhu Yaqiong and said, "You are old. You seem to be a teenager older than you were last time you talked about divorce. I felt guilty. Then, Wang Qiuyu, who had never shed much tears, lost control of his emotions at that moment and cried uncontrollably.
If emotions make tears worse, then how do we measure the weight of these tears that contain guilt, indebtedness, regret, pity, and reluctance, which we have come from love?
Here somehow reminds me of two sentences I saw a long time ago: "The scheme in the wind moon is not a plan, it is a wind moon; the wind moon in the plan is not a wind moon, it is a plan." There are many things that cannot be seen on the surface, but must be traced back to see what the other party's starting point and motivation are.
From the end of the show, looking back at the performance under the lens of Wang Qiuyu in the previous episodes, it will be found that he is a person who is stuck in an intimate relationship, and he uses the love he has learned to self-righteously love and hurt his lover. So, at the end of this eighteen-day journey, his guilt, these tears, actually contained too many emotions that had been spoken and could not be expressed.
Like what:
His neglect of his wife: How long has it been since he had taken a closer look at this man who had spent countless days and nights with him?
He didn't realize his own fault: he didn't really know how to love and care for his pillow person.
His condescension: it turns out that the problem between us is the collision of rational and emotional thinking, not my fault for you.
His concern: After separation, can you take care of yourself?
……
Here reminds me of the poet Tagore's sentence: "The farthest distance in the world is the distance between fish and birds, one in the sky but diving deep into the seabed." So much helplessness. So deep powerless. From this, I thought of three things related to love:
1, do not stubborn in the world of love, if you really love each other, you must convince yourself to go into the other party's world to take a look. No matter how many differences and differences there are between each other, try to feel the way and habit of the other person loves, and the expectation of love. If you can't meet each other's expectations, at least respect and understanding.
2, the hull is broken a hole can also be repaired, if the mast is broken, you have to replace it. So don't let hurt and disagreement spread to the point of irreparability, leaving regret and sorrow in vain. Misunderstandings should be solved in time, and mistakes should be made up as soon as possible.
3) Strive to get the other person to be nourished from the relationship, not consumed. Therefore, we must always recognize and encourage our pillow people, and do not let the other party see only their useless self in the eyes of their lovers.
Writing here, I remembered the recently heard Karen Mok's "Perfect is Not Perfect", which has a few lyrics written quite appropriately, let's end with this:
Love, let us all get closer. Lie down in your warm arms. Hold, the most precious feeling. Believe it, this is the most beautiful gift. Love, let us all get closer. To you, I am willing to believe. Let go, can't hold the happiness. It turns out that we all give our hearts.
Above all, encouraged together.