The first time I watched "Finding Nemo 1", it seemed that when I was in college, the specific time was not remembered, but I still remembered the story of the father looking for his son. Last weekend, I watched it again with a few children at a friend's house, but I had a different experience. What I experienced most this time was that Nemo didn't believe that his father would go to him until he met him. In his heart, he could not feel his father's love, so when he was caught, he was very depressed and did not have the confidence to escape.
Why is that?
Returning to the earlier scenes of the film, it is not difficult to find that because his wife and all the other children (fish eggs) have suffered bad luck and only Nemo has survived, it is inevitable that the clownfish father will overprotect him and fear losing the only child left. But in this over-tensioned mentality, it brings a harsh and authoritarian tone, an anxious attitude and too many boundaries. In the absence of love, this kind of parent-child interaction will only bring resistance and rebellion to the child. Command and force do not produce obedience, only temporary submission, at the cost of an increasingly alienated parent-child relationship. When the child grows up, the parents' orders and force gradually cannot suppress the child, it will trigger the child's resistance and confrontation, then the child will not give in, and the parents will find themselves helpless.
Nemo's dad undoubtedly loved him, and from the time he was even born, his dad took care of his little fish eggs. As he grew up little by little, Dad always worked as a mother, protecting him and feeding him. But Nemo did not feel his father's love, only that his father gave him too many constraints and commands, so that he could not live and play freely.
How similar is this to today's society? How many parents also hide their love behind many nagging, commands, and demands, so that children can't feel love, only feel pressure, persecution, no freedom, no respect.
So how do we make our children feel our love?
Here I recommend a book– Dr. Gary Chapman's The Language of Children's Love. In this book, the author clearly explains the five languages of love from the perspective of children:
Words of affirmation; actions of service; physical contact; focused time; elaborate gifts.
In general, most children will be more sensitive to the two love words of "affirmative speech" and "physical contact". In this film, Nemo's father's words and body language are opposite, so the feeling for Nemo is undoubtedly cold and loveless. Under this premise, even if no amount of "service action" is provided, it cannot be nourished into the child's heart.
Later, when Nemo heard the Pelicans talk about his father's heroic deeds at the bottom of the sea, he didn't dare to believe it. When he saw the father in the pelican's mouth, his inner little universe was ignited at once! It turned out that his father loved him, and his father really traveled thousands of miles and broke through all kinds of difficulties to find him! By feeling loved, his faith and desire to survive were stimulated. He completed the previously unfinished challenge at once, and was full of hope that he could escape and reunite with his father.
This kind of self-sacrificing rescue action through various difficulties and obstacles is a deeper "service action", which makes Nemo deeply feel his father's love and completely change him.
A person really changes because they feel loved.
So where can we start to change? Just from the simplest "words of affirmation". Not only the usual greetings and affirmations, but also the blessings and expressions of special periods. For example, on the other party's birthday, Father's Day, Mother's Day, Children's Day, Chongyang Festival, etc., you can use the "Chat Assistant" software to set all the blessings and expressions of love in advance, and it will be automatically sent out on that day.
We can search for "Chat Assistant" on the website, download the corresponding version, and then register. Use the Timer to set the date and time, edit what you send in advance, and use it across a variety of different chat software.
Love is not only hidden deep in the heart, but also spoken out loud in various ways. In this way, we can have the "ability to love" and harvest a real "loving relationship".