"True Story" A T Monologue! 10 years and 15 girlfriends

People in the state of un-temptation have thought of growing old with their original lover, bai-headed, and with the corrosion of temptation, the vow of white-headed old age has become a distant dream.

In the past 10 years, my love began at the beginning of the 2 word and broke at the beginning of the 3 word.

A whole decade of youth, but I want to dilute this decade of depravity with a lifetime of confusion.

My name is Xiao Ou, my home is in the coastal area, I only love to play with boys since I was a child, I thought I hated girls, in fact, I thought I thought I was a boy, girls became incomprehensible creatures in my eyes, temperamental and inkblot, gossip and sensitivity.

In my third year of high school, I had a crush on a girl, I always thought it was friendship, and if I think about it carefully, she is the person I want to protect for a lifetime.

Desperately good to her, just want to be the best and most special friend with her!

The only intimate contact is holding hands! But every time I held hands, it made me blush and beat my heart.

In college, I met a girlfriend in the real sense, she is from Chongqing, her personality is more hot, people are very beautiful, at first we played as friends, and then when she kissed me and took the initiative to sleep with me, I learned that there was also love between the two girls.

Aries I am very single-minded, love her with my heart for three years, give her my youth, my love, my body and mind, my everything.

But a year after graduation, she said, "Two girls have love, but it won't last long, I want to live a normal life, our love will be regarded as friendship." 」 ”

I begged her like crazy not to leave, even if she loved other people I would be willing to accompany her, I was used to having her, relying on her, like her smile, like the scent of her body.

But as much as I liked it, I loved her unguarded, but she got rid of me with an iron heart.

The affection between us was seen by her as a child's home.

She was the first person I loved to the bone, and the last, and I took all my dignity and face to love her, and without thinking, she laughed at me for being too obsessed.

After being seriously injured, I lost my passion for life and went to Shenzhen after graduating from college to do design at a company.

Over here.

I met the first person to take me into the circle - Amin, she is called pure T, and I am called H, since mixing with her, I completely changed my attributes, became T, wore a corset, shaved my head.

Amin took me to Lala Bar, to hang out with insiders, I learned to drink, learned to smoke, during this time, I was with a, because of the drunken relationship, lasted less than half a month, two people because of personality problems, had to become buddies.

Everyone is a woman, but there is a big difference between women and women, the structure is the same, but the feeling is completely different.

Mixed with insiders for a long time, the treatment of feelings is also a lot more frivolous, although it is not the visitor does not refuse, but can sleep together basically will not refuse.

It wasn't long before I was with a married woman again, she was five years older than me, her speech and demeanor were very attractive, not frivolous and not flirtatious, but it was itchy, I relied on my looks to be with her, she made it clear that we were all passers-by for each other, but we were willing to sink into each other's world, her charm attracted me, my looks attracted her, each taking what I needed, and I didn't use the truth. In less than two months, the attraction declined and we faded.

The breakup is just like a change of clothes, except for the first love that made me tear my heart and lungs, no one let me have half a bit of reluctance and sadness, maybe it was to close myself, or maybe no one was worth my crying for her.

I've met true love later, but I've categorized them all as if I had what I needed, just keep looking for something new.

The harm that one person has done to me has become a reason for me to hurt others, what a sad and ignorant idea, but at that time I did not know how to heal myself.

Later, I met a straight man, a friend of friends, the two of us had a good feeling for each other, and at first we were on the verge of being tentative like a little couple, she wanted to enjoy the feeling of being in love with a girl, I wanted to experience the ambiguity of trying each other, and when I deliberately kissed her, she became my girlfriend.

I know that we are all in love for the sake of freshness.

A year later, I proposed to break up, and she cried into tears, calling me a liar, a scumbag, bending her but abandoning her.

The funny thing is that it didn't take long for her to get married, and I don't know if she was in love with me with the purpose of marrying someone else, or if she really wanted to experience the love of two girls, and she became someone else's wife anyway, which is a fact!

There is no feeling of breaking up, only a sense of emptiness, an inexplicable sense of emptiness and loneliness, every time I am separated, I can't wait to find a woman, I am afraid of a person, afraid of being abandoned, afraid of being snubbed, without Amin's leadership, I can freely shuttle through the bar, shuttle through the party of insiders, organize activities by myself, choose the object that makes me comfortable.

I found a very beautiful girl again, the quiet face of Lady Wenjing, very similar to my first love, a moment of illusion, I actually wanted to live with her for a lifetime, but a sneer came out from the bottom of my heart, laughing at my delusion.

Our relationship lasted less than half a month and then broke up because she was super gold worshipper, had to go to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and had to go to the mall every time she finished eating, suggesting that I give gifts, but when the two were in bed, she never met my needs.

From this point of view, my relationship with her is just another level of friendship, but I have become her ATM, and it is possible that I am only one of the ATMs, because she is often busy replying to various friends' messages and making dinner and fun.

We very consciously left each other's world, she did not say goodbye, I did not say goodbye, just disappeared into each other's world, I am not sad, I just feel sorry for my own money, for the first time for my generosity to feel remorse!

It didn't take long for me to be with a T again, and for so many years, I never knew what kind of girl I liked, just knew that she was a girl, it didn't matter what her appearance was, it was just about whether we could talk about a piece, sleep together, especially the latter of this, it was really important.

The two of us are very compatible in bed, the lifestyle is completely different, I am more exquisite, she often throws three or four, big grin, I only chat with girls, she does not care about men and women have to talk and laugh, and even open yellow paragraphs.

After being together for half a year, she began to dress herself up, even wanting to be a little more feminine, only to find out later that she fell in love with a boy, and without breaking up with me, she actually fell in love with the boy.

After I exposed her, I didn't have the anger I imagined.

Because of this, I have also done, why should I be angry with people, two people sat down to talk, she said that she just want to find someone to marry, this road is too tired, her life also needs others to be responsible, she does not want to take on the responsibility of two girls alone...

Intermittently, there have been more than a dozen girls who have been in love with me, and some of them are drunken impulses, but I am full of memories of this kind of one-night lover.

People who become lovers, I don't even want to have memories, because the memories between lovers carry abandonment and hurt, and one night is what they need!

At the age of 28, I thought back to my past, obviously full of fantasies about love, after being hit by my first love, I lost hope in love, I thought that talking about a lot of love could save me, but still no one saved me, I was just like a zombie, pinning my hope on others, when hope really appeared, I wanted to escape.

As I grew older, I slowly had requirements for my lovers for the future, and I wanted to live a life of two people living in a house for four seasons, but I found that the people I met were more hopeless than I did. Pin your hopes on others, but never think that you are hope in yourself.

I'll be 30 in 2021.

For ten whole years, nothing was left, I left Shenzhen, went to Hangzhou, gave up my previous job, became a barista, got out of the previous circle, and life became simple, eating alone, shopping alone, doing what I liked, climbing mountains alone, and doing handicrafts alone.

Maybe it's the growth of age that gives me a little more wisdom, maybe it's the overindulgence that makes me realize the importance of a simple life, or maybe I don't have crazy capital...

All in all, I really like this kind of life!

In the face of family marriage, in the face of the confusion of the future, the heart is full of countless clutter, if it is not my indulgence, one of these 15 girlfriends is willing to grow old with me, but I think of everyone as the person who asks me with his palms up and then abandons me.

If it wasn't for the abandonment of my first love, if it wasn't for my willing depravity, if someone could pull me in a daze, if...

Where is the if? All this is just their own choice, although there is now an expectation for love, but the lover's heart has become very light and light...

If you are going through what I have been going through, I just want to tell you, find someone you really love, don't hurt someone you shouldn't hurt, don't indulge, and a healthy life should be linked to simplicity, not clutter!