Demystifying "Family Coming Out": A Little-Known Gay Study | Culture runs rampant

✪ Wang Qingfeng | Minzu University of China

"Coming Out" is a metaphor in the gay circle, that is, to get out of the "cupboard" where you are hiding. "Family coming out" refers to homosexuals indicating their same-sex sexual orientation to family members, especially parents. For the gay community, the family is the first hurdle to be crossed by social recognition, and it is also the most difficult hurdle to cross. This article is based on the survey found that in reality, many homosexuals would rather hide in the cupboard than come out, thus forming a living state of "identity rather than coming out of the closet". The result of family coming out is often the refusal of parents to accept the new identity of their gay children, resulting in the fragmentation of the originally intact family, resulting in the estrangement, indifference and even tragedies of the two generations. In the face of the doubts of relatives and friends and the social stigma they may encounter, parents will try their best to hide their children's homosexual identity in front of others, and "children come out, parents come into the closet" expresses the embarrassing dilemma between two generations when the family comes out. The author points out that unlike the Western family, which performs more functions of emotional and sexual satisfaction, the Chinese family bears more social attributes and contains a kind of family collectivist value: marriage is not only a simple personal happiness, but also related to the rise and fall of the family. The "coming out" of homosexuality will put aside the responsibility of both parties to the family, which is bound to conflict with traditional family ethics. This fundamental contradiction, intertwined with parents' worries and expectations about their children's future, society's rejection of homosexuality, etc., makes coming out a difficult choice.

This article was originally published in Guangdong Social Sciences, No. 3, 2014, which only represents the author's views, and is hereby compiled and issued for your consideration.

"Coming out of the family": influencing factors and their cultural interpretation

"Coming Out" is the metaphor of the gay world, that is, to get out of the "cupboard" where you are hiding. "Family coming out" refers to homosexuals indicating their same-sex sexual orientation to family members, especially parents. In Confucian cultural circles, the family has an important place in individual life, and it has even become an individual attribute. In Chinese society, "the most basic identity attribute of an individual comes from his family-kinship system rather than the choice of sexual partners." Many homosexuals prefer to hide in the cupboard rather than come out, thus forming a state of "identity rather than coming out of the cabinet". The result of family coming out is often the refusal of parents to accept the new identity of their gay children, leading to the fragmentation of the otherwise intact family, resulting in the estrangement, indifference and even tragedies between generations. The appearance of gay children is an unprecedented conceptual impact on parents, which means that parents have lost those potential family roles, and they may face the doubts of relatives and friends, and may encounter social stigma. In this case, parents will try their best to hide their children's homosexual status in front of others, and "children come out, parents come into the closet" expresses the embarrassing dilemma between two generations when the family comes out. Factors such as social stereotypes, political ideologies, moral positions, and individual perceptions all determine parents' attitudes towards the coming out of families with gay children.

In today's world of the popularization of love culture and the romanticization of marriage relations, marriage has become a personal pursuit of sexual pleasure, and people no longer marry only to please the parents of both parties, but also for the emotions and sex between couples. At the same time, due to the influence of traditional culture, some old concepts are still deeply rooted in the minds of many parents, and the cultural system based on traditional ethics is concentrated in a set of ritual systems with "filial piety" as the core. In a society where "filial piety comes first", the concern of gay children about the family coming out is mainly that they are not filial piety and ashamed of their parents, the so-called "no filial piety has three, no posterity is greater." Under the orientation of emphasizing the continuity, harmony, prosperity and reputation of the family, "the operation of people's life circle is based on the family and the individual as the light; the family is the mainstay, the individual is subordinate; the family is the first, and the individual is the second", Yang Guoshu called this collectivism "family collectivism". The interactive characteristics and social relationships of this family orientation determine the interaction between gay children and their parents.

In this article, "family coming out" mainly refers to the fact that homosexuals come out to their parents, and do not explore the situation in which married gay people come out to their opposite-sex spouses and children (i.e., the "same wife", "same husband" issue). The material used in this article is mainly from the discussion of the "Gay And Lesbian Earnest Talk" and the interviews conducted by the author himself. The names used in this article have been anonymized.

▍Individual characteristics, pre-laying and timing selection

In a society oriented toward others and relationships, parents also see their children's identity as part of their own identity and therefore share "gay" status with their children. Parents also go through the process of rejection, doubt and acceptance in the process of their children's families coming out. Among the many factors that come out of the family, the age of homosexuals is an important variable. Some experienced homosexuals believe that the sooner the family comes out, the better, and the more rigid it is for the parents, because as the children grow older, the parents' expectations are constantly increasing, and they often find that they have no way to retreat in the end. For example, a gay man recounted:

I'm 29 years old this year, and if I could confess this to my parents sooner rather than later, I believe it would be better than I did at this time. By my age, it was too hard, too hard. First of all, it is very difficult for parents to understand what you really think in your heart; in addition, younger, more capable of withstanding blows. In 2007, my mother had a cerebral infarction, and then I always felt that this would be a heart disease for me, and whenever I wanted to talk about this matter, I always thought, what if my mother can't accept this reality? I've dragged this out for too long, too long, and I know I've been gay for 10 years and we've been together for 8 years. Now that I'm almost 30 years old, when I go to mention this to my family, I suddenly find it too difficult!

If the age is too young, on the one hand, it is difficult for the main body to have a mature psychology, on the other hand, parents may not be too serious, thinking that it is only the child's temporary thoughts, and it will slowly change when it grows up; and if the age is too large, the child's side lacks sufficient room for maneuver due to the approaching age of marriage, and the parent side is also weaker because of the age of the psychological endurance, which is easy to lead to the destructive consequences of coming out. Forced by age, some homosexuals have had to come out. Whether parents accept or not is closely related to the self-identification status of homosexuals themselves, if the homosexuals' self-identity is firm and "righteous", after all, it is the parents who are connected by flesh and blood who will eventually accept it gradually. In addition, if homosexuals can do a good job in all aspects of life, work, etc., and reassure their parents, then parents may not be fiercely opposed. At a cultural salon about family coming out at a gay activity center in Beijing, a gay man expressed this view:

The comrade's own identity is on the one hand, this is the conceptual aspect, I think it is more important in practice, independence is very important. If you do it yourself to reassure your parents that you can live a good and happy life, then they will definitely support you. If you first do things well by yourself, such as studying, then I will study well and study very steadily; if you have already worked, you must do a very pragmatic job in the field of work, do a good job, and be able to support yourself. I'm a bit of a macho, I let my parents get by and make them feel like this son is good, then they'll accept everything about me too. In fact, the core of it is self-identification, including ideas, including your own efforts. I think this is the most important, there are no shortcuts to the rest. I think the most important thing is to do it yourself.

Do not "go back" in the process of coming out of the family, because this repetition can easily and continuously arouse the hope of the parents and the final result is deeper despair, thus constantly pushing the parents into the abyss of pain. Although some studies have pointed out that the coming out patterns of gay men are somewhat different from those of lesbians, the experiences faced by gays and lesbians are very similar when it comes to family coming out. In contrast, families are more receptive to lesbians than gay men, and parents react slightly more gently. Because the cultural definition of female gender is more flexible, women are more likely to be accepted by society if they violate general gender roles. Similarly, both heterosexual men and women are less likely to think that lesbians pose a clear, immediate challenge and threat to traditional gender roles. As a result, in this social environment, lesbians are less confused about their identity, cognitive disorders, family conflicts, and extreme behaviors. However, such a conclusion may be roughly true in general, but it is not specific to each individual, and the individual sexual reaction of parents to the appearance of homosexual children is constrained by many factors.

In the survey, it was found that the factors that led to the negative effects of family coming out included relatively young age, strong family dependence, lack of economic independence, rushing out without preparation, low parental awareness of homosexuality, emotional instability with same-sex partners, religious factors, single-parent families (more lonely and helpless, more desirable to have offspring) and so on. Corresponding positive factors include: living relatively independently, gradually revealing sexual identity to family members, not directly verbally confessing their homosexual identity but through the behavior itself, giving family members time to self-reflect. If homosexuals have entered heterosexual marriages, have siblings and some of them have married and had children, and if parents are able to accept new things and new ideas, these conditions are conducive to the emergence of the family. In the Chinese cultural context, there is no significant difference between the primary object (parents) of homosexual families, and the homosexuals themselves and their parents' literacy, family environment, child relationship and other factors will affect the choice of the primary object. In general, if the emotional dimension is emphasized, then the probability of coming out to the mother first is greater, and the mother and the child are relatively closer in the general Chinese family, but this cannot be generalized. At the same time, in some traditional families, the father is often dominant, holds the right to speak in the family, and even alternately determines the independent choices of family members; while the mother is in a powerless aphasia, she can only provide sympathy, helplessness and tears. In this case, coming out to the mother not only does not convince the father, but the mother's pain and incomprehension will hinder the courage of homosexuals to come out to the father. As a result, many homosexuals are constantly challenged directly by their father's authority. However, it is not uncommon for Chinese families to have strong mothers, or even heads of households, so it is still necessary to analyze specific issues in specific cases, rather than generalize. Coming out is an individual choice that should be self-determined based on the homosexual's own life experience, abilities, wishes, and family (parental) situation.

There are some preparatory work in advance for the family to come out, such as exposing parents to some positive, positive and objective information about homosexuality before coming out; inviting parents to participate in homosexual gathering activities; or expressing their inner feelings by writing letters to parents, which can express some content that cannot be conveyed verbally, and the two sides are separated from each other, and it is not easy to have a fierce confrontation face to face, such as the following gay man believes that the expression of the letter has a certain auxiliary effect on coming out:

My father was a relatively cultured man and he was sensitive to words. Originally, I didn't think I had a very good relationship with him, because he was more aggressive. So two or three months before I came out, I wrote him a letter, including my memories of my old childhood, and I knew he loved me and I loved him, presumably to him. This letter actually helped me out.

Another point is that the pressure to come out to your parents at the same time will be greater. Many families fail because the father's side cannot accept it. But if both parents have one that is acceptable, it is relatively easy to handle. as:

If you come out, you don't have to come out at the same time (to your parents), which will be very dangerous. My mother spoke more forcefully, "Catch the thief first catch the king", I first communicate with my mother. Because I had some communication with my mom before, and then (by watching the blog post and other preparations) I would find an opportunity to talk to my mom.

In the late autumn of 2008, my mother was suddenly hospitalized with a stomach problem. I went to stay with her for a night, and in the middle of the night, my mother felt better, and we both went outside [the hospital]. Then I just walked to McDonald's, because the environment inside was better, and I said let's go and sit inside for a while. The lights are warmer, the background music is softer, and there are fewer people. We talked about some trivial matters of life, and slowly, I said, "Mom, I'll tell you something!" That one...... Of course, this is a very blow to you..." And then I said a lot of things, how bad it was, and then I said how I loved you. I had never said anything like this to my mom before. My mom didn't think it was right because I said it so badly, and she got angry and said, "What's wrong with you?" Then, instead of saying I liked men, I said "I don't like women". She said, "You Oedipus." Of course I said I wasn't. After a moment of silence, I said to her, "I grew up and knew what happiness is, (homosexuality) is not a crime, nor is it a disease, and I learned about it before you read the blog." My mother later said, "This road is not easy." ”

Some homosexuals have also elaborately drawn up a detailed and meticulous action plan for family appearances, that is, "exit scripts". They will make a specific list and timetable of who to come out of the family, such as who to come out to first, how to explain, what to say that the other party is easy to understand and accept, and then after the other party generally approves and accepts, then overcome the next goal, until the core parents. In this process, friends and family who have already won over and accept their sexual orientation can become a helping force to come out to their parents. In this way, the interpersonal relationships in the process of family coming out become a concentric circle centered on the parents, and the homosexuals break through one by one from the edge to the center, and finally achieve the purpose of making the parents accept their sexual orientation. as:

My coming out process made a long, long line: first tell my sister and explain to her that my sister is in my hometown, on my parents' side; then tell my third uncle that the third uncle is in Hebei, he has a very good relationship with my father, and they are in contact often; after they know, I will then talk to one of my cousins. These few people are quite good to accept. I also prepared some other things, such as if my father wanted to take me to see a "doctor", well, I had already contacted two psychologists, two hospitals, and friends through the (Beijing Comrades) Center in advance. They were all well-recognized doctors who had called beforehand. At that time, my third uncle's acceptance (my homosexual orientation) was already quite good, because he was younger, he often used the Internet, and he was more acceptable to this thing. I also said hello to him, and I gave him a list of what I should say if my dad called him. I also prepared a copy of my wife's speech, called my father to say something, and prepared a copy for my sister, and I had made these preparations beforehand... Then after another six months, I told my dad that I couldn't do it with this woman, that I couldn't live with her. We were in a separate room, very quiet, in the afternoon, at a sleepy time, and I talked to dad for three hours. In the end he accepted it more calmly, and his reaction at the time was: "Alas..." (sigh), no hysterically insisting that you change. My mother's reaction was more intense, the first time I called, I cried and hit, and then A few times slowly got better.

▍Religious beliefs, cognitive biases and family expectations

Some religious institutions are explicitly hostile to homosexuality, but the extent to which religious beliefs affect parental attitudes towards gay children still requires further empirical research. The following cases provide preliminary references:

When I was four or five years old, my parents divorced, and I didn't think about being gay in elementary, junior high, or high school. After entering college, I thought I should like men. But when I was in elementary school, I also liked girls, and I liked our class president. I was born in 1986, came out in 2008, and like many people, I was forced to come out. I am a Christian, and my mother is a Christian. How do I let my mother know about [sexual orientation]? Because my mother asked me to go to a church school in Wenzhou to study theology, not long after I entered this school, I felt that as a comrade, my heart was quite depressed, especially painful, no one could understand, no friends. Party and small talk with other people, and they will say, "We're all looking for a girlfriend, why don't you look for it?" Sometimes there is no talk to them. I thought the church was full of brothers and sisters, and talking to them about [your sexuality] might help you, so I told them about me. But they were quite surprised after listening to it, saying that you look quite sunny, how can you be such a person? It didn't take long for them to tell the teachers at the church school about me. When the teacher learned of this, he felt that I could not continue to study in school. They told my mother to take me back. This was exactly the time in 2008, when I was in great pain at home, and I hadn't been out for more than half a year. ...... I don't know what they think, first of all they think it's unacceptable; Then, they feel that this thing is very bad in the school. For more than half a year after I returned, they ignored me and completely severed the relationship.

Both Andrew and his mother are Christians, and his mother's reaction to her son's passive coming out (leaked by a church school) is similar to that of other non-religious people: the first reaction is self-blame, believing that her son became homosexual because of his and his family's reasons (parental divorce, lack of love in childhood). Like many other mothers, Andrew's mother avoided her son's sexuality and demanded that he marry and have children. Many parents lack awareness of the phenomenon of homosexuality, and in their perceptions that "homosexuality" does not exist. When they suddenly confront their homosexual children, they are likely to develop a "cultural shock." Similar to the children from the perspective of filial piety for their parents to think in a different position, parents think more about the future of gay children, they feel that this road is not easy to follow in society (as if it can be chosen), and it is really helpless to face this kind of "extraneous branch". More typically, the mother of a gay man recounts:

He talked to me about it three years ago, I went to a psychologist, I went to some hospitals, and I didn't know how to deal with it. At that time, I still had the illusion that he would be better in two years. A day or two ago, he was talking to me on the phone about it again, and neither of us had a good time... His father died when he was 17 years old, and the two of us were dependent on each other, and to be honest, it wasn't easy for me, so I didn't want that to happen. At that time, I didn't understand these questions, nor did I think about them, and I was looking forward to the day when he met the right girl, and if the two of them came together, they might get better. Now really, it's impossible to say that I don't want to be sad and not sad.

Many rural parents see homosexuality as a curable disease, in which case their children come out not to show an identity and sexual orientation category, but to expose a "pathology." Parents do not respond to a series of acts of resistance such as anger, blame, and rejection, but rather to actively seek medical treatment with their children and help them become "normal people" again. As the father of a homosexual from the countryside preached:

Because our country thinks so-called homosexuality is harmful. If you don't get it right, others think how your child is, so they have some concerns in their hearts. In society, it is believed that this kind of person does some vulgar and rogue things, and in the old impression of the past, there were these things. ...... My child was a little mentally disturbed for the first few days after that treatment, and now it's slightly better because the psychiatric drugs don't work for a long time.

Homosexuality is considered "harmful", "some vulgar, rogue thing", and at the same time it is considered a diagnosable mental illness, and parents are indoctrinated with various stereotypes. However, the "homosexuality" faced by parents in real life is not a distant, unfamiliar abstract concept, but a living, concrete child, who gets along day and night and knows each other too well. Therefore, parents began to wonder: how can this "gay" be that "gay"? Their stereotypes cannot be confirmed. "Trusting your children" is also the truest inner expression of parenthood. Rural parents are simple, sincere and have no sense of utilitarianism, and they will express their ignorance and prejudice without scruples, and these ignorance and prejudice are caused by society. Today, urban parents may rarely be so stubborn as to seek medical treatment for their gay children, even if they go to the hospital and find a psychologist, mostly just to solve their own doubts, that is, "Is homosexuality really incurable?" This is also a process of self-acceptance by parents. Parents believe in their children and thus recognize that "sexual orientation is not bad", so family coming out is important to improve the social visibility of homosexuals.

As far as parents are concerned, they need to reposition and adapt their roles and children's expectations. Parents' reactions to women's coming out are also highly personal, their feelings, emotions and attitudes are not the same, they will go through different psychological stages, such as shock, rejection and isolation, anger, "negotiating conditions", despair, and final acceptance, etc., it depends not only on the relationship between parents and children before coming out, but also on how parents discover and why they discover their children's homosexual status, the conditions of homosexuals themselves and a series of events that occur after they come out. Parents' own knowledge of homosexuality is important, and in family comebacks, individual cognition, expert discourse, and the ideology of the state often clash fiercely. In the Chinese context, gay men may have a harder time confronting their parents, not only because parents have stronger expectations of their sons, but also because some parents tend to associate "homosexuality" with the stigma of "sodomy" as their sons' vulgarity and moral corruption. "Families often end up with a compromise, and the result of the compromise, or the winner in the end, is often a silent third party: traditional cultural values. Many parents, regardless of their children's sexual orientation, decide on a "reason" anyway: you have to get married and have children.

▍ Family coming out and intergenerational conflict

Homosexuals usually tend to "agree without coming out", while parents' position on the family after coming out is "acknowledging but not accepting". Parents always hope that their children will get married and have children, and they can entertain their grandchildren and enjoy the joy of heaven. Some parents still have the illusion that after their children come out, they think that this is just a temporary habit, and when the time passes, everything will change. Rural families' perceptions of homosexuality are relatively old-fashioned, and many of them are prejudices left over from the Republican period. An important aspect of parents' concerns about their gay children is their concerns about the future. In the eyes of many parents, lesbians have a double vulnerable status: first of all, "female", and at the same time "gay". This dual identity will affect her future social recognition, and the hidden and unspoken meaning behind it is that it will also affect her recognition as a parent. Many parents also think that their children's same-sex sexual orientation is "caused" by their own reasons, especially single-parent divorce, family dysfunction, and parental interference in their children's (opposite-sex) love, such as:

In high school, she had an early love affair and was looking for the opposite sex, so I was surprised that she did this in college, because she didn't grow up like this. When she told me about it in college, I felt very remorseful, she was a sophomore in high school when she fell in love, and now I regret it, but I didn't hesitate to break them up.

In the face of her mother's self-blame and guilt, her daughter did not think so at all:

I had a relationship with men in middle school, and I wanted to tell my mom, don't blame yourself, it has nothing to do with you. After I went to college, I had a girl I liked very much, and I basically chose it from the moment I liked it. I don't think it's what you were born or how it was, it's going to be sooner or later if you're (gay).

The conflict and incomprehension between homosexual children and their parents leads to family estrangement and inability to communicate, and conflicts arise between the two generations due to differences in the concept of filial piety, which becomes a dilemma for children to perform filial piety. In fact, this dilemma is fundamentally the result of cultural biases and generational differences. Some gay men at the scene of the Relatives and Friends Association severely criticized the parents' generation:

When mothers hear that their children are gay and lesbian, they feel very sad and sad, and we can ask, what is the reason for the pain or sadness? Many children dare not tell their parents the most intimate things in their hearts, why? Parents like our generation actually have a very difficult life, (they) in the case of their own unwillingness, read the books they do not want to read, do the work they do not want to do, marry people they do not want to marry, etc., there are many things in their own life choices that they cannot help themselves. [Parents of this generation] were born with expectations from birth to death, and from the time you were born to before you ended, they were all connected with this expectation of your parents. Although you are an adult, your life will affect your parents, and the pain of your parents will also be added to you. When can your unhappiness come from yourself? When can you have a life of your own? ...... That is, you have achieved the happiness of the previous generation in your life, and now you are pinning your happiness on the next generation, where are you? Where are you yourself? Parents should find their own position, to say a very unfilial word, parents "unkind", this is my always view. Many parents have children in return. When parents are worried about the future and future of their children today, they ask themselves this question: If your life ends today, or my life ends, what will happen to the future?

Many parents in China have lived a lifetime, and there is nothing particularly worth showing off in the first half of their lives. He believes that the child is the continuation of his own life, so he pins all his life and all his hopes on the child, and he cannot tolerate any problems with the child, and he thinks that the child's identity is a problem. In fact, whether a child is a comrade or not has nothing to do with his parents themselves, and the parents only need to live their own lives.

The parents of this generation of homosexuals have experienced a fission in Chinese society, and many parents have failed in their role as parents to believe that their children are gay. They always live under the scrutiny of others, living for others. Chinese "identity" is not defined as a "characteristic of the self," but as a desire for a sense of belonging to the group. This identity lacks an independent personality, which emerges in a network of intertwined relationships. From a psychoanalytic point of view, the personality of Chinese is still in the "lip period", and the corresponding is the "lip dependence" type personality trait, this type of person is not only strong sense of dependence, but also requires a lot, and the boundaries between people are not clear. Because of the pressure of living in groups, the psychology and ethics of Chinese are different from those of the West. As far as family structure is concerned, unlike the inheritance model of Western families, China's family structure is a type of feeding back, which bears more social functions; while the family in Western society under the inheritance model performs more emotional and sexual satisfaction functions. In the former' view, marriage is a social act; in the latter' view, marriage is more of an individual act. The mother of a homosexual also spoke of her thoughts:

Parents have lived their own lives in the first half of their lives, and in the second half of their lives, they always want to take the pride of their children as their pride, as if there is nothing else to do. I feel that I am living my son's life now, my son is good, my son is not good, my son is not good, I feel bad.

Parents have a lifetime of expectations on their children, hoping to realize their self-worth from their children. However, the true heart of parents may not be unable to accept gay children because of "social status", "face" or "inheritance", etc., many parents cannot express exactly in front of their children those "fragile" things in front of their children, these fragile things are love, and parents' rejection and rejection is because they are worried about the future of their children. What many homosexuals are doing now is to hope that they can be financially independent and let their parents live a good life, so as to eliminate their parents' worries. In addition, parents of gay children are vulnerable to the cynicism of those around them and the stigma of AIDS. Borrowing from Veblen's concept of "agency has leisure", the stigma encountered by parents of homosexual children can be called "proxy stigma", that is, indirect, alternative stigma. This social stigma is also a factor for parents to consider.

▍ Thinking: From "coming out" to "going home"

Traditional family values play an important role in the coming out of homosexuals, and families that focus on traditional values generally have less acceptance of homosexuality. On the one hand, the emergence of the family depends on the relaxation of the attitude of the whole society towards homosexuality, and at the same time, it also requires a change in the values of parents and gay children. Xu Xuanguang regards "repaying favors" as the main cultural habit in China, which strengthens and consolidates group cohesion, while in Western culture there is a lack of ideas such as "filial piety". Traditional Chinese society takes the monarch, father and son, husband and wife, brother and friend as the "five luns" (three of which are family relations), emphasizing relationality and interactivity. In modern Chinese society, the "settling down" in the matrix of "family" is more real than ever. Therefore, the family has become an important attribute outside of their sexual orientation for Chinese homosexuals, and family coming out is also the biggest challenge that gay individuals face after completing their sexual identity.

Andrew Plaks notes the importance of social relationships in defining personality, and that personality types embody a unique structure of social relationships that are far more important than psychological attributes. He believes that "coming out" and "showing up and being proud" are culturally problematic for Chinese, because "coming out" means leaving the family, parents, and traditional culture. In contrast, "coming home" can be thought of as a localized term and strategy for homosexual self-affirmation. "Going home" means finding a final destination of your own. "Home" does not only refer to the biological "family" that homosexuals struggle with all their lives, but also refers to the family of gay couples, which is the second home that makes him/her feel warm and supported. Coming out is not about isolating sex from society and confronting it, by "coming home" to show that the visibility of homosexuals is not an isolated sexual self abstracted from social relations, but as a way to locate homosexuals in mainstream social relations. Returning home can be interpreted as a coordinated process of bringing sex into the "family-kinship" network, not picking out same-sex love desires as a field of conceptual discussion, but constructing same-sex relationships according to the family-kinship category, breaking the boundaries of "one's own person-outsiders" by returning home, and gradually integrating into the home.

This article was originally published in Guangdong Social Sciences, No. 3, 2014, and was originally titled ""Family Coming Out": Influencing Factors and Their Cultural Interpretations". The image comes from the Internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete. Welcome to share personally, media reprint please contact the copyright owner.