It is hard to imagine that the Prince zhang Xinzhe, who sang the Asian love song "Love Like a Tide", is 54 years old and still single.
It seems that as a musician of love songs, there are not so many painful or entangled love that cannot be said.
But Zhang Xinzhe has been in the industry for 34 years and has only disclosed a relationship, and after this relationship ended, he has been single for 28 years.
I heard that he was waiting for someone...
Some media once asked him: "Why have you been single for so many years?" ”
He replied:
"Feelings are not two feelings on the line, two people living together, not seeing each other all day long, and all kinds of attention, I think people who are not used to it will still have a lot of pressure." 」
This sentence talks about "not seeing each other" and "stress", which naturally reminds people of his only relationship.
At the age of 26, after singing the song "Love Is Like a Tide" written by Li Zongsheng, Zhang Xinzhe became angry;
At that time, he was busy with concerts in various places, and when he was holding concerts in Hong Kong, a girl nicknamed "Zhu Xiaomei" accompanied him for five days to help him do various behind-the-scenes work.
Just as Zhang Xinzhe was about to leave, Zhu Xiaomei shyly handed a diary to Zhang Xinzhe.
It was full of his feelings about listening to Zhang Xinzhe's songs, and he also wrote down his analysis and understanding of Zhang Xinzhe's singing.
This gift made Zhang Xinzhe very moved, and when he finished reading this diary, he decided that he must know this girl, so he took the initiative to write to Zhu Xiaomei.
The two men communicate in letters, like a pair of soul mates.
Zhang Xinzhe is very busy, and single people often take time to visit Zhu Xiaomei in Hong Kong, and also visit her parents to ask Zhu Xiaomei's parents to agree to their interaction for the purpose of marriage.
But the good times did not last long, and their love affair was discovered by the paparazzi.
Zhu Xiaomei was tracked by paparazzi throughout the day, and every word and deed of the family was secretly filmed.
Zhu Xiaomei's parents are very angry and worried that they will not be able to restore a stable life;
Although Zhang Xinzhe is a very good musician, for them, fame and fortune are only external things, so they began to disagree with their daughter and Zhang Xinzhe's association.
Zhu Xiaomei felt exhausted, and finally under the dual pressure of the outside world and at home, she proposed to Zhang Xinzhe to break up.
Zhang Xinzhe did not agree, he was willing to fight against the outside world for her, but Zhu Xiaomei told Zhang Xinzhe that she was in love with someone else.
Zhang Xinzhe thought she was lying.
Yes and how? Zhu Xiaomei and her family then went abroad, and the two cut off the news.
It can be seen that love is very beautiful, but it cannot withstand the destruction, some cannot withstand the temptation of fame and fortune, and some cannot withstand the troubles brought by fame and fortune.
We can all sum up these in one sentence: fate has not yet arrived.
After Li Zongsheng heard about Zhang Xinzhe's love, he personally wrote a poem for him "Don't Be Afraid of My Sadness":
I haven't had your letter in a long time
No one talked to me for a long time
Miss your tender watery eyes
The most beautiful stars in my sky...
When Zhang Xinzhe sang this song for the first time at the fan meeting, he burst into tears on the stage.
The album is called Waiting.
But 28 years later, he is still single, is it impossible to let go of this relationship, still waiting?
In the end, Zhang Xinzhe, who is still single at the age of 54, also has his own reasons, he is a person who is unwilling to settle down.
In addition to this relationship with Zhu Xiaomei, Zhang Xinzhe also publicly confessed a goddess.
Zhang Xinzhe, when promoting the new song "Be Your Man", the host asked him: "Whose man do you most want to be?" ”
Zhang Xinzhe replied, "Li Jiaxin! ”
He also said: "Her beauty is unique, and her temperament is also very unusual, I really appreciate her!" ”
And the reply from the goddess Li Jiaxin to her was only three words: "I'm sorry."
On March 26 this year, Zhang Xinzhe's 54th birthday, the media asked him about his feelings.
He said helplessly: "I have expectations every year, but I have not come every year." ”
Every year he was looking forward to a partner in his life, but every time he was disappointed.
Some people also asked him, what kind of love do he want?
He once said:
"I am an ordinary person, when facing love and life, I also hope to be like ordinary people, a smooth and lasting stable relationship is what I want most." 」
But he had to admit that love was always playing hide-and-seek with him:
"My album is like my life record." He sang sadly.
He said he was ready to die alone.
I have to say that his demands for love are out of the extreme.
Just like the sentence written by Xu Zhimo:
I will be looking for my only soul mate in the midst of a sea of people. I am blessed to have it; no, I am destined; that's it.
Xu Zhimo, who aspires to pursue true love, has not found true love in his life.
But his poetry of searching for a soul mate in life touched everyone's heart.
Zhang Xinzhe, who also used his love songs to impress men and women who had met love, has remained single.
This man sings a touching love song, but he is not cared for by love, and it has to be said that it is a trick of fate.
Why are people so good, but so lonely?
In fact, if you are careful, you will find that excellent people are generally lonely, and there is a very appropriate word to describe them as "lonely and self-congratulatory".
A person who is self-congratulatory will like someone who is as good as him, or even better than himself, otherwise it will be difficult to accept.
Zhang Xinzhe is an example of a lonely fang, he likes to be alone, and his heart is so rich that he does not need to contact too many lively people from the outside world;
Without meeting the right other half, he developed many hobbies in addition to love, such as collecting exquisite moon tokens, beautiful embroidery, clothing, quaint furniture, and personally drawing and designing his own hotel.
But how do we, as ordinary older single aristocrats who are invisible in the crowd, reconcile with this world of dog food everywhere?
There is only one answer: to solve the problem of singleness, the first thing is to reconcile with yourself.
That is to say, you don't want to be the screwed, tangled person, don't have to set limits on yourself, such as "I have to find someone to be my partner", "what kind of partner I deserve".
If you have to find someone who deserves your own, but feels that almost no one is worthy of your own, it's called a "narcissistic personality." That is, the above-mentioned "lonely self-congratulation"
If you think that the person you like must not like yourself, and would rather be alone than act, it is called "inferiority personality"
Both are pathological psychology.
In fact, the essence of extreme narcissism is extreme inferiority. The narcissistic personality is nothing more than a cover-up for the inferiority complex personality.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are not like the average person with low self-esteem, who is directly distressed by their shortcomings.
Instead, it is the opposite, deliberately turning a blind eye to its own shortcomings, taking the measure of covering up and avoiding its own problems, deliberately beautifying itself, and even to the point of self-deception.
Because "narcissism" frees them from their discomfort and dissatisfaction with reality.
They create a beautiful illusion for themselves, and this deception, once established, is difficult to break.
They slowly turn this act of avoidance into an unconscious habit, rooted deep inside, without them being able to perceive it.
Once you realize the reason, then it is not difficult to change:
1. Accept yourself in reality.
You have to accept that there can be no love in this life, and you must also accept that your lover can not understand you.
You have to keep the good fantasy and then accept to let go of the delusion.
It is said that the smarter a person is, the more he can accept a completely different point of view, a completely different way of life.
They can even live in two worlds, one in reality and one in the imagination, and the two worlds do not overlap or disturb.
You might as well learn to try to allow your two worlds to exist separately.
2. Try to love someone.
People who remain single because of narcissism, it is not enough to abandon the idea of self-centeredness, they must also learn to love others,
Only then can we truly appreciate that abandoning the idea of self-centeredness is a wise choice.
For anyone who wants to receive the love of others must first give his own love.
Gradually, you will tolerate each other in love, and no longer worry about the imperfections of the other party.
Finally, I end with the classic line of "Mindcatcher":
"She also knows all my little flaws, which people call imperfections. In fact, it is not, that is a good thing, and we can choose who to let into our world.
You don't understand true loss, because only loving others better than yourself can you understand, and I don't think you dare to love people like that.
You haven't tried to lose a loved one, because you have to love each other very much to feel empathy.
You can learn about everything in the world, but the only way to get back to the roots is to try it for yourself. ”
The future may be uncertain, and fate may be unpredictable, but now you can choose to be lonely or you can choose to love.