1. When I was a child, I was very happy when I was called an ugly duckling from the same village, because I would become a white swan when I grew up. But I didn't expect that now they call me ugly duck.

2, stealing A: Last night scared me to death, I have to go get a pair of glasses! Thief B: What's wrong? What can't you see clearly? Thief A: Last night I sneaked into a family, and when I was opening the safe, I suddenly made a loud noise, and it turned out that I was not turning to the safe... It's a radio!
3, the beauty of the taxi, to the destination to get off. The driver was just about to leave, and the beautiful woman caught up and said, "Master, did my mobile phone fall on your car?" The driver smiled and handed her the mobile phone, just about to start, the beauty caught up with her again and said: "My bag is also in your car!" The driver nodded and handed it to her. Beauty happily walked towards a spicy hot shop. At this time, the eldest brother in the back seat of the taxi said: "Driver, do you want to wait a little longer, I will see when she can remember that I also fell on your car?" ”
4. Last night I played with my classmates until 11:30 before I went home. A man walking alone on the road. Suddenly I saw a distant lamp... Unfolding the light under a vague figure, my eyes were suddenly moist and my heart was warm. It was so late, and he was still waiting for me at the door of the community. That's the love of my life, my father... It was the stick he was holding in his hand that made me a little embarrassed...
5, the second day of the daughter's pneumonia hospitalization, hands and feet suddenly grew a lot of acne, an intern doctor looked at the shake of his head, said to arrange a dermatology doctor consultation, in the afternoon dermatology doctor consultation after a big stroke, rub medicine, draw blood for examination! When I was done, I took the single back to the inpatient department to find the pediatrician, and the pediatric director looked at my daughter's hands and feet and was angry! That's what mosquitoes bite, all that's the whole thing! I just want to say fuck your uncle's! You decide!
6, the office and colleagues chatting, I asked a female colleague: "Why don't you take the driver's license." She said confidently, "Don't you know that beautiful women are sitting in the co-pilot?" Another colleague: "You look, if I drive and throw you in the trunk." ”
7, the daughter-in-law went to live in her mother's house for a few days, and after returning home, she completely changed her personality and had a serious violent tendency. First of all, I was suspected of playing with my mobile phone, and I didn't add water to the fish tank for two days, and I was scolded. Later, he suspected that his son had put ink on his clothes and beat up his son. Later, she remembered that the old Wang daughter-in-law downstairs had borrowed more than 2,000 yuan from her for a long time. So the goods rushed down again and beat up the old king's daughter-in-law. I still haven't figured it out, what's wrong with her?
8. At lunch, I sat with a group of female colleagues. A female colleague asked me: How do you feel about so many beautiful women around you? I said: There is a feeling of an emperor! The female colleague proudly said: This feeling is right! Don't you think that each of us is as beautiful as a noble concubine? I smiled: Well, Yang Guifei!
9, although I only want to be a small worker, when I get to the talent market, I only see a sea of people and are airtight. I didn't squeeze inside, thinking, "With this condition, it wouldn't be a piece of cake to find a small worker!" So I waited, waited, waited, waited until the sun went down, and no one came to hire me. Seeing that there was no drama, at this time a person walked quickly, and I hurriedly straightened my hair, as long as he opened his mouth, no matter what the conditions, I agreed. He came over and said only one word: "Boss, do you want to hire a small worker?"
10, today's wedding anniversary, in the evening I shook my wife's hand and asked affectionately: "Wife, you have followed me for so many years, I have said a lot of love words to you, which one do you think is the most beautiful?" The wife thought about it very seriously and said, "What I earn, it's all yours!" "I: