01
If an ex suddenly turns back to you after a long separation, then basically two things can be said: he didn't find one who was better than you; he found a better one than you, but looked down on him.
Say anything because of the obsession of feelings, these things will gradually fade in the days of not meeting.
The days go by, and occasionally I look back, but not many people go back, unless life is not as good as before. It's just that many people will deliberately cover up and beautify this reality, so there is a deep affection that can't be put down, can't forget, and misses very much.
The world is bustling and all are profitable; the world is bustling, all are profitable. In fact, this sentence has thoroughly analyzed the animal of man.
People are also interested in profit and avoid harm, willing and want to run to a better end and life, perhaps the feelings of the past will be buried in the bottom of their hearts, but that is all.
A very fond sentence that says:
"If we don't forget the past, it's never because we miss others, but because we miss ourselves in the past years."
As we get older, we gain a lot of things and we lose a lot of things: the youth at the age of 20, the innocence of the first love, the effort in a relationship in the past. When you are more and more distant from these things, all of them will gradually turn into inner obsessions.
In the end, it is just that we miss our former selves more and more, and there is also a feeling of the years.
If you let the past affect your future, then I think it is a very bad thing, because the past has already happened, powerless to change, and the future is unknown and can be decided.
Thinking about yourself is going to start over, if you want to start over, it means something completely different.
Especially feelings, the most affecting people, but also the most torturous, if you can not make a break with the past self, past feelings, past life, there can be no new beginning. Also, those that are difficult to let go of always have to affect your ideas and decisions at certain critical moments.
Including blinding your own actual and real needs, when you always want to fill up regrets, it will create more regrets.
One wrong step wrong step by step, there is no way back in life, in short, people can not live in the past, when they decide to break, they must be truly broken.
02
After four years of divorce, Xu Juan (pseudonym) met her current husband, and at that time she did not know her feelings, only that she should start a new life and have a new life.
However, Xu Juan has never been able to forget her ex-husband, so that after remarriage, her mind is no longer in the current family.
For the current husband, it is more of a way to have a happy attitude, after all, he is still good to himself and can make his life quite comfortable. However, emotionally speaking, Xu Juan felt that after she left her ex-husband, she also lost the ability to truly love people.
You can't find that hot emotion, and you can't do it like before, you can give unreservedly to a person and follow it wholeheartedly.
What's it like?
It was as if he had overdrawn his best and everything to his ex-husband, including the kind of necessary determination to marry. Then with the current husband, it is equivalent to not starting from scratch, and asking the husband to be able to fill the holes he had previously overdrawn is just the beginning of satisfying a new starting point.
I can't tell whether I love or miss my ex-husband, but it seems to be an obsession, an unwilling obsession, a delusional obsession, even if the ex-husband has hurt her.
Therefore, Xu Juan often felt contradictions, entanglements and troubles in the later days.
The contradiction of a remarried woman: I can't forget that my ex-husband wants to go back, but I am reluctant to be good in the current!
In fact, fundamentally speaking, Xu Juan has no feelings for her current husband, but just covets him to be good to herself. When struggling with whether to go back, there is only one worry, afraid that after going back, the ex-husband is not good to himself, and the so-called reluctance has also become a trade-off.
This is not infatuation, nor is it self-love, it is simply selfish, because she only wants to be responsible for herself, to make herself good, but she has not thought that she must be responsible for what she chooses to the end.
In addition, it also fully proves that the choices in their own lives are not responsible enough, not rigorous enough, and not serious enough.
Unlike children who make trouble, and it seems that children live at home, without rational judgment and thinking, the so-called contradiction itself represents a kind of regret, which is the result of not being sure and firm in their own choices.
People are also most afraid of not being able to firmly choose, because when they encounter some confusion and problems, they will immediately question their current life.
03
Whether divorced or remarried, we must understand what the choice means behind it. Because that's the path you're taking in your life, don't know what your steps are for, and be careful that you end up getting stiffer and stiffer.
We have no way of judging which life is good and which decision is right, but everything is about to begin, and there is no room for preparation.
Marriage is always the top priority in life, and couples are not just partnerships.
When you start a marriage again, in fact, fate is already tied to the marriage again, and it is not a matter of experience to walk well or not.
It is not easy to divorce unavoidable, but any problem that can be changed through hard work is worth it. However, after the divorce, you can't easily turn back, and when you realize that you can't go back, when you can't get better, you have to adjust the direction immediately.
Make a break with the past, not directly do not contact, nor completely erase the memory, in fact, these are impossible things, so the so-called break, is relieved, is calm, but also turned the page.
Respecting the beginning of the story and accepting the end of the story is actually mainly about whether we can say goodbye to our past selves.
No one can get a sense of spiritual satisfaction in a contradictory life, to be a person, always have their own beliefs, even if you face more choices, you are very clear about which road you want to take, which road to take well, there is a kind of unmoved firmness.
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