Mr. Qian Zhongshu wrote in his book: Marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, people in the city want to come out.
Love is easy, two people can fall in love at first sight because they look at each other more in the crowd, and they are eager to take out their sincere hearts to give to each other, but marriage is difficult, and trivial things will trigger a big war with teeth and claws. So people who once wanted to enter the palace of marriage with beautiful love now want to flee from this besieged city with their own dissatisfaction.
In fact, a long-term marriage is only a threshold, not a siege, let alone a grave.
So how can we make marriages last longer? How do I do that?
1 Learn to listen and maintain high-quality communication
Listening is important in marriage, but it is often overlooked. Especially when two people have differences because of something, the first thing they care about and pay attention to must be their own ideas and demands, or blindly harshly accuse the other party of not understanding themselves.
So we must learn to listen to each other's needs, when you listen to each other's ideas, and then express your feelings to each other, and be honest with each other, then all problems will be solved in this frank and peaceful communication between two people.
Therefore, if you want to make the marriage lasting, one of the important points is to learn to listen, listen to each other's demands and then communicate, otherwise, you can't feel each other's true thoughts, and the result can only be that the chicken and the duck talk about contradictions.
2 Learn to ask about each other's emotions
In order to maintain a long-term and stable marital relationship, although the three views are important, it is more important to provide emotional value to the other party.
Be able to think in a different position, and you can also feel the emotions of the other party in time.
This is essential in marriage.
People who are willing to love you with their hearts will definitely take care of your emotions.
If you feel hard, it is both demanding!
3 Know how to appreciate each other
Many couples have problems with each other, and demeaning and slandering each other also accounts for a large reason.
Everyone likes to be praised and recognized, and that's true at work and in marriage.
Men like to be complimented, and so do women. But most people, in the eyes of marriage, only have each other's shortcomings, and even with time, the shortcomings will become bigger and bigger. So we must learn to tolerate each other's shortcomings in the gap of finding each other's strengths, and then praise and appreciate more.
Running a sweet marriage is always indispensable to praise each other, so don't skimp on your praise, appreciate each other's bright spots, and encourage his every attempt.
4 Know how to show weakness
I remember watching TV before, I inadvertently brushed Zhang Zhilin talking about Yuan Yongyi's marriage, he said: Every time I quarrel, I will think about what will happen if I lose her, so I cherish it, men, admit mistakes, nothing, the most afraid of losing too late to regret
Two people living together, there is always one person who has to bow his head first. If the occasional show of weakness can bring two people closer together, why not enjoy it? Of course, women are the same, showing weakness does not have to be enforced by men.
Couples marry because of love, form a linked whole, give and accept each other's love, maintain a balanced relationship, take the initiative to grow, stand in their own position as an adult, and establish a healthy family order.
The so-called happiness, but two people run.
I am Hu Jianyun, welcome to click on the → "link" to face to face!