Time is hurried, the head of the day and night change, laughter and anger will be another year, with the aging of the face, the appearance anxiety in the woman's heart increases day by day, and the doubt about the stability of the feeling is gradually aggravated.
Admittedly, appearance has always been the basis of other people's first impressions, even in decades of marriage, and it has a non-negligible impact.
But what women should know is that after decades of trials, marriages will not be easily terminated because of appearance. Therefore, after the age of forty, the important bottom card of women in marriage is not appearance and figure.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="4" > material security and always the most solid backing for a person</h1>
In middle age, many women are afraid of being abandoned by their other half, in large part because they are not financially independent.
There is no stable source of income, and even some women have been separated from society for a long time, which means that in the face of some marital changes, it is difficult for women to support themselves.
As a result, they fell into an embarrassing and difficult situation - although they did not have a satisfactory life in marriage, they could only reluctantly settle down.
This is the case with Sister Luo, who lives next door to me, who has been married to her husband for almost twenty years and has been in a state of three days of small quarrels and five days of big noises, and from time to time there will be loud curses and cries coming from her house.
The surrounding neighbors have basically been the "mediators" of her husband and wife, and Sister Luo always looks for opportunities to cry with the neighbors around her about her husband's bad deeds, and others have advised Sister Luo that she really can't leave, and whenever this happens, Sister Luo falls silent, or leaves with a bitter smile.
In fact, no one knows the cost of divorce better than her, as a typical example of marrying from the countryside to the city, Luo Jie has always lived under the support of her husband, and has always been a housewife after marriage, even if she is divorced, where can she go?
Rather than worrying about whether women without independent financial resources can successfully integrate into society, they are thinking about whether it is worth giving up this life without worrying about food, clothing, and housing for the sake of temporary happiness.
On the other hand, some women who can divorce happily in marriage, most of them have their own financial income, or are not completely out of society, as long as she makes a decision, she can regain job opportunities.
From two different perspectives, we can better appreciate that economic independence plays a decisive role in whether middle-aged women can freely choose their lives.
From a male perspective, women have independent financial resources, which is a manifestation of marriage equalization, which also reduces the accusations from men or others to a certain extent.
In a marriage, although women give up their careers for the sake of the family, give up their living space, and pay wholeheartedly for their husbands and children, in the eyes of men, it is easy to complain that women do not understand the difficulties of life and only know how to spend money because of a small matter.
Therefore, women do not have to take care of all the so-called housework in marriage, but should create a stable economic income path for themselves, first of all, materially, let themselves become their own security.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="17" > positive attitude towards life doesn't just affect you</h1>
Koffrand once said: "Of all the adverse effects on man, the most short-lived are bad emotions and despicable feelings, such as sorrow, decadence, fear, greed, cowardice." ”
Women who are always self-pitying are always in a kind of passivity and pain in their daily lives, and once something with a little negative emotion happens, they will be extremely sensitive and go to the extreme of emotions.
The most frightening thing is that some people will comfort them with excuses such as menopause without discrimination, which is not enlightenment, but blind connivance.
When women find themselves easily caught up in extreme emotions, or very negative, or very angry, and even always like to treat the people around them with foul language, then it is time to shut up the chatter.
Consider whether your emotions are not controlled, whether it is really because of the fault of the other party, and if the other party is at fault, then think about whether this fault is worth spending our emotions on.
When we are young, we are not tolerant enough for things, do not know how to release pressure and emotions in time, we can use "young and crazy" to excuse ourselves, but when we experience the baptism of years, our youth is no longer, leaving only light madness, it is difficult to keep the people around us.
Like attitudes and emotions, it is not only deliberate performance that can be perceived by others, many times they are like a magnetic field, when people are not close, they perceive mutual exclusion between each other.
I like a passage that Democritus said: "When I am occasionally disappointed in life and care too much about myself, I will also be depressed, and I will quietly complain about God, but as soon as I think of everything I have, I immediately correct my mood, no longer complain, and live happily." 」 ”
When people reach middle age, what they seek is a kind of comfort and calmness, and since some things have happened, some people are doomed to have no chance to get along, so they don't have to disturb the present and the future because of the past.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="27" > interest can avoid wasting time</h1>
At present, many women have an obvious problem, neither have their own interests, all day long into the atmosphere of short videos, muddy is a day.
There is a cousin in the hometown, who works in the family farm all year round, idle brush up short videos, a brush can not stop, usually will be a variety of dishes, and then every day only sit in front of the door to brush the video, and people chat open mouth is "said in the video.".
Gorky said: "The beauty of life lies in its richness, and to make life interesting, it is constantly enriched." ”
Psychology has studied the relationship between a person's busyness and physical state, and the results show that going to extremes can cause harm to individuals.
When people are overly busy, there is usually a situation where physical pressure precedes the outbreak of mental stress; and as long as people do nothing, over time the inner laziness is like a virus, eroding from the inside out.
It is not difficult to find that in our lives, the more women who do not have their own interest direction, the more likely they are to fall into a state of complaining about life and family.
In their view, their current situation of not having a positive future is largely due to their families, and the more accurate reason should be that they have not found a good husband.
Therefore, cultivating an interest in oneself is not only helpful to one's own body and mind, but more importantly, to maintain the harmony and stability of the family.
The word interest, that is, they like it, many women are easy to fall into the strange circle of popularity, thinking that what is popular, they should learn what, but the interest is suitable to choose, not to cater.
Therefore, "everything is not too late, as long as you are willing to insist", choose what you like, and stick to it, you will find that you can get pleasure from it, and you can also get more gains.