If it comes to people with high emotional intelligence in "Dream of the Red Chamber", Xue Baochao will always be on the list, and even many readers say that as long as they follow Sister Bao to learn to be a person, they will cultivate into a social master with eight faces.
In fact, Xue Baochao's emotional intelligence is not so high at all, she is just more mature in dealing with people, knows how to hide her true emotions and hearts, and can also hide the sneers and cold words of others for the purpose.
These examples of Xue Baochao actually have little to do with emotional intelligence. Mainly due to her relatively old age, housekeeper director at home, social experience than other sisters, naturally more mature and sensible; second, she has a high IQ and read more, more intelligent and understands the combination of theory and practice; third, thanks to her birth in a merchant family, she has well inherited all kinds of small skills that are exquisite and shrewd and calculating.
However, the use of Xue Baochao's skills in Jia Province was really not very good. Over the years, despite her efforts, from the mother-in-law down to the bottom of the mother-in-law, no one really recognized her, only the innocent sisters who really treated her.
If you really want to follow Xue Baochao to learn to be a person, the result is likely to be no friend. Because her high emotional intelligence is simply an illusion, her eight-sided exquisiteness is not pleasing, and her small favors are not enough to invite people's hearts. What's more, the ten minefields that need to be avoided in the interpersonal society of the truly high-sentiment businessmen have all been stepped on by Xue Baochao.
Her disguise can't always be intact, and whenever she wants to achieve some purpose, she will reveal her true face, which is really not very clever.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > minefield one: ignore each other's feelings, talk and poke people in pain, which pot does not open which pot</h1>
The biggest minefield of high emotional intelligence socialization is to be able to talk and have eyes. Know what to say, what not to say, when to speak, and when to shut up. Not saying short words in front of dwarves is scolding people and not exposing people's shortcomings, and hitting people should not be hit in the face.
Xue Baochao did not do a very good job in this regard, and at best it was a passing level. She did a pretty good job in the face of other people, and it was not an exaggeration to say that she was all-encompassing, but when she faced Baoyu, it was all minus.
Xue Baochao, as a big cousin, a girl who wants to win Jia Baoyu as the object of "golden jade good fortune", her attitude towards Baoyu is different from that of everyone. At all, he did not take Baoyu as an outsider, although the marriage was not decided, he had already restrained, managed, and transformed Baoyu as if he were his husband.
When Bao Yu couldn't do what she asked, and still went her own way, Bao Chao sneered and ridiculed mercilessly, and continued to advise without discouragement.
It is mainly reflected in Baochao's persuasion to study and pursue the economy of his career. Bao Yu had never given her a positive response at all, either sighing angrily and turning his head and leaving, or he was silent, and when he was really annoyed, he directly burned the books, and openly scolded Bao Chao as a "national thief And Lu ghost".
Can this be blamed on Baoyu's ignorance? Yes, Baoyu is a giant baby who doesn't know the world. Was it wrong for Bao Chao to persuade him to study and become an official? Yes, but she ignored Baoyu's feelings, "which pot does not open which pot", and only cared about her urgent desire to transform Baoyu. Therefore, it can only backfire, which triggers Bao Yu's strong disgust, not only did not go to the study of the examination, but even she was alienated and disgusted.
Generally speaking, in interpersonal communication, if a person with real emotional intelligence wants to persuade others, or let others accept their opinions, they must first understand how the other party thinks, and then test it in a way that the other party can accept.
If the other party does not give a response, it is actually a decent refusal, and it is not in vain.
Bao Yuming had already given Bao Chao no face, but Bao Chao didn't care at all, and still forcibly advised according to his own way. Seeing that Baoyu did not listen to her, she repeatedly ridiculed and ridiculed Baoyu, disgusted Baoyu for being "busy with nothing" and "useless", in fact, the pain point that belonged to poking Baoyu could only make Baoyu more annoying to her, and there would be no positive effect at all.
What is even more tragic is that Baochao's feelings for Baoyu are also like this pattern. She chased Baoyu every day, stared at Baoyu, glued Baoyu, and even punched in morning and evening, embroidered belly pockets, exposed crispy arms, unbuttoned, and exhausted means. It is a pity that Baoyu never loved her in his heart, and never gave her a half-love response.
However, BaoChao did not care about these facts, she wanted to marry Baoyu, and wanted to borrow the east wind of Jia Fu to realize her Own Qingyunzhi, so she continued to work hard according to her goals, regardless of Baoyu's feelings.
This is also the fundamental reason why Bao Chao was abandoned even if she married Bao Yu later, and she never cared about Bao Yu's inner feelings. Partial Baoyu is a person with the most affection.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > minefield two: pointing fingers at the lives of others and liking to make decisions for others</h1>
People with really high emotional intelligence will never dictate the lives of others, and they will not make decisions for others without asking for help, looking like "I am very smart, others are not as good as me".
Xue Baochao liked to do these things very much. Although the author borrowed Wang Xifeng's mouth to give her an official comment that "don't care about your own affairs, don't open your mouth, shake your head when asked and don't know", in fact, Sister Bao is usually really very enthusiastic, and she is nosy to the point of indigestion, and she almost wrote the four words "I am the boss" on the door of her head.
For example, Tanchun set up a begonia poetry club, and everyone gathered together to discuss how to start a society, how to give a pen name, how to compose poetry, how to set rules, and so on. At that time, there were seven people present, Including Li Feng, Sanchun, Bao Dai, and Bao Chao, and li Feng was the eldest in terms of age, the first and second were The status of Baoyu was noble, and the first and second were the heads of Tanchun.
However, if you actively and enthusiastically take the idea, it is Xue Baochao's first, and those who don't know it still think that she is the person with the most status and voice in the scene! She had three ideas in total: first, she gave Baoyu, Yingchun, and Xichun pen names; second, she decided that she could only start a poetry club twice a month; third, she decided to use Bai Begonia to write poems immediately.
Bao Chao said, "She lives in Zi Ling Zhou, just call her Ling Zhou, and if the four ladies are in lotus champs, they will call her lotus pavilions." ”
Bao Chao nodded, "It only takes two times in January." "Proposed dates, rain or shine. In addition to these two days, if he is happy, he would rather add a society, or prefer to come to him, or come with it, and make it not lively and interesting. ”
Bao Chao said, "It's just a white begonia, so why do you have to see it before you do it?" The poetry of the ancients is nothing more than a message of love. If they had all been seen and written, there would be no such poems now. ”
Don't think that Baoyu said a word: "Everyone is encouraged, don't let you humble me." Each has the idea to speak out for yourself. Sister Bao also came up with an idea, and Sister Lin also said something. Xue Baochao's positive performance when he heard this was very normal, in fact, this is very abnormal, is it good for people to explore spring and be the host?
Do you see what Lin Daiyu said? Does she not understand or is she reluctant to take this idea? No, because Lin Daiyu is the real high emotional intelligence, she only came up with the idea of a pen name, and also joked about Tanchun's pen name, which is actually fun, so that it is not a noisy approach.
Xue Baochao behaved in this way because she wanted to follow the poetry club to show her talents and let the sisters be convinced of her, which was also the right medicine for Baoyu and threw herself into it. She was used to being the master of the Xue family, so she openly pointed fingers in the Grand View Garden, and she didn't feel that there was anything wrong with it.
There is another thing like this, that is, Bao Chao suggested that Dai Yu eat bird's nest, although it seems to be a good heart. But she not only helped Lin Daiyu to be the lord to start eating bird's nest, but also in order to make Lin Daiyu accept her bird's nest, she specially exposed Lin Daiyu's shortness of "sending people under the fence".
Bao Chao said, "Although a few tai doctors who walked here are all fine, but your medicine will not work, why don't you invite a wise person to take a look, isn't it cured?" Every year, there is a spring and a summer, and it is not old and not small, what is it? Not a common law. ”
What is even more excessive is that BaoChao, as an unmarried daughter of a relative's family, actually really managed the council in Jia Province, became the master of the family, and was afraid that everyone would not be convinced, so she moved out of Lady Wang to suppress Tanchun and Li Feng, and forced the reform of Tanchun to eliminate the advantages and disadvantages, and made it into her private show, and the empty gloves and white wolves gave away people for free.
If she really has high emotional intelligence, even if she can't refuse Madame Wang's instructions, she should also keep her duty, honor Li Feng, the daughter-in-law of Jia Fu, and Tanchun, the qianjin of Jia Province, and keep a low profile.
It was a pity that Xue Baochao was too eager to show his ability to please Lady Wang, and the result was to let everyone other than Lady Wang see her face clearly.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > minefield three: behind and third parties to expose the shortness of friends, exposing friends' privacy</h1>
High emotional intelligence can never say bad things about friends or relatives behind other people's backs. Unfortunately, Xue Baochao accounted for both of these things, she told the attackers that Shi Xiangyun was abused at home, and she also framed Wang Xifeng for sending monthly money to Xing Xiuyan.
First of all, Bao Chao told the attacker about Shi Xiangyun's abuse at home. Her starting point should be good.
After all, the raider is a slave, it is not appropriate to make Shi Xiangyun, the concubine of the Houmen, do needlework, Baochao reminds the attacker of the purpose of this ally, mention that she Shi Xiangyun is very sad at home, let the raider know that it is difficult to retreat, Shi Xiangyun can also work less, the raider also misses Baochao's kindness, and everyone is good for each other.
However, Bao Chao was not considering these words when he said them, and in order to win over the attackers, he forgot to take into account the faces of Shi Xiangyun and Jia Mu. Shi Xiangyun regarded her as a confidant sister and told her about the troubles at home, and Xue Baochao comforted and comforted her.
However, Shi Xiangyun obviously did not tell her so much detail, BaoChao was just "the sound of the words in the wind", seeing Xiangyun "vague in his mouth to say not to say" and red circles, she made up a bunch of her own brains to tell the attackers about the difficulties of Xiangyun and Shi Jia, and then the raiders told other servants, Shi Xiangyun, the master lady, does not want face? Jia Mu, the Qianjin of the Jinling Shihou family, does not want face?
Shi Jia was also a double marquis, the Marquis of Baoling was hereditary, the Marquis of Zhongjing was newly sealed, and Shi Xiangyun's two uncles were both high officials, and the mixture was even better than jia fu. As for the degree to which people have become mean mrs. and misses in the middle of the night, they have to abuse orphans and nieces?
Isn't this tantamount to punching Shi Jia and Jia Mu in the face? You can imagine how hard it is to hear the reputation. Shi Xiangyun likes to read and write all day long, and he can also mix with Princess Nan'an, and can be engaged to Cai Mao Xian Lang, is this like Shi Jia's mean and abusive look?
It can only be said that Baochao really lacks the understanding of the public government, and hearing the wind is rain. Thinking that Jia Fu's extravagance and waste is to give preferential treatment to girls, Shi Jia's doing some needlework is abuse. Bao Chao herself also did needlework until the middle of the night, and the Xue family also abused her? It's hilarious.
This matter is obviously because Shi Xiangyun is greedy and does not understand things, her own needlework cannot be completed during the day, and she also mentions that the slave of the raider is working, and the aunt said that her two sentences should not be? If my mother knew, she might have to twist her ears and scold her for being a slut!
As for Xue Baochao's use of Shi Xiangyun's name to throw a crab feast, not to mention, it directly annoyed Jia Mu. She herself did not have the ability to invite the top level of Jia Fu, so that everyone knew that Shi Xiangyun had no money and could not afford to run a poetry club, could this matter still be good?
Xue Baochao also did a similar thing, she saw xing xiuyan wearing a thin, she asked whether Wang Xifeng did not send monthly money on time. This is even more speechless. Wang Xifeng is Xue Baochao's uncle and cousin, a pure and real relative, although the two are not harmonious, but Wang Xifeng has not harmed Xue Baochao, but Xue Baochao has repeatedly spoken ill of her.
Fortunately, Wang Xifeng not only sent Xing Xiuyan a monthly money on time, but also sent her cotton clothes to keep her warm. He punched Baochao in the face and blocked her mouth. Otherwise, if Xing Xianyan was unconscious and reported it to Lady Xing, or Xue Baochao told Aunt Xue, and Aunt Xue told Lady Wang, Wang Xifeng really couldn't eat and walk around, and would be accused of being a mean relative.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > minefield four: do not treat yourself as an outsider, but be the master of other people's homes</h1>
Xue Baochao is not an orphan, she and the widow mother, adult brother live in the aunt's uncle's house for many years, it is also a strange thing among relatives, typically do not take themselves as outsiders.
Not only does Xue Baochao not regard herself as an outsider, she also wants to enter the house and become the master of Jia Province, and be the master of the family! Entering the palace does not achieve the main attack on "golden and jade good fortune", the female family rushes the male family, regardless of the innocent reputation of the unmarried woman, dare to openly spread rumors about what "golden lock with baoyu", Jia Fu does not accept the move, and does not delay Baochao to chase Baoyu every day.
Obviously, she was the daughter of a fallen merchant Jia family, who came to inflame and follow the situation, and grandly participated in the provincial relatives to meet the noble concubines, and lived in one of the top two in the Grand View Garden. Living in a better place than the Jia family's mansion. It is said that "one should pay for one's own expenses", but living in the Grand View Garden, there should be a lot of examples, and the mother-in-law of the Wuyuan Garden is also serving Xue Baochao.
Although BaoChao pretended to clean up her house like a nunnery, her bearded warbler climbed flowers and folded willows in the Grand View Garden, and naturally said: "Others can't make it messy, I make it alone." ”
If Bao Chao is really emotionally intelligent, she should take care of her own beard first.
One of the more interesting things is that Bao Chao snatched Daiyu's tea gargle. This was originally Bao Yu let the raiders give to Dai Yu, but Bao Chao and Dai Yu stood together, and the dog legs of the raider Bao Chao of course had to sell well, saying who was thirsty and who wanted to drink. As a result, Dai Yu was the thirsty one, and before she could do anything, Bao Chao had already snatched the tea away, saying that she was going to rinse her mouth, and half of it drank and shoved the tea cup directly into Dai Yu's hand.
Directly embarrassing the attackers, or Lin Daiyu, who has always been misunderstood as a little mean, helped to play the round field, saying that he could not drink more, and drank the remaining half cup of leftover tea from Baochao.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Minefield Five: Good teacher, feel too good about yourself</h1>
People with really high emotional intelligence, even if they are only eight buckets high and learn to be rich in five cars, they also pay more attention to listening, and they can't always like to be a good teacher, and feel that "I am the best"!
Xue Baochao is the girl who likes to be a good teacher the most in "Dream of the Red Chamber". Yuan Chun province relatives, in order to please Yuan Chun, she went to be baoyu's one-word teacher, let him change "green jade" to "green wax"; teach Shi Xiangyun "or spinning performance needle is you and my original"; teach Lin Daiyu "women have no talent is virtue", always based on Zhenjing, female workers or the second thing. The rest of the poems are just games in the boudoir"; teaching Xue Baoqin not to do nostalgic poems on the themes of Xi Xiang Ji and Peony Pavilion; teaching Jia Baoyu that he should read the sage books and learn the economics of Shi Tu...
But what about herself? To say that Zhenjing, she responded to everyone in Jia Fu all day, and the needlework had to be done until three more midnights; to say that she was talentless, she was knowledgeable, it was simply a living encyclopedia, and when she was a housekeeper, she sang a high-pitched statement: "Learning is the right thing." At this moment, when it comes to small things, the small things are getting higher and higher. If you don't mention it with learning, you will all flow into the city customs. ”
Look at Bao Girl's solipsistic posture, typical good teacher, feel good about herself, plus double standard is not wrong, as if the whole world has her knowledge, she understands the housekeeper director. Li Feng, who was born in the Xiangmendi of the Shuxiang Mendi, and Tan Chun, who was the essence of literary essence, were estimated to be speechless.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > minefield six: the sense of boundaries is missing, see the stitch to ask for cheap</h1>
When people get along with each other, a sense of boundaries is very important. What is the sense of boundaries, that is, what others have not asked you to manage, please do not manage casually, especially things that others are very humiliated. People with high emotional intelligence will not interfere in other people's family ugliness without permission.
Xue Baochao handled the matter of Jin Jun's death very inappropriately, which can be said to be a typical manifestation of the lack of a sense of boundaries. Of course, she had her own purpose, and if she wanted to achieve it, it was impossible to disguise herself as tightly as usual, and the fox's tail was exposed.
That day was noon in the middle of summer, and Shi Xiangyun came to visit Jia Baoyu because Baoyu had left a golden qilin for Shi Xiangyun. The evil Dai Yu and Bao Chao both came to inquire about the news, afraid that Bao Yu and Xiang Yun would do something privately destined for life.
Dai Yu came by chance, listened to Bao Yu's heartfelt confession, and was moved to leave. Bao Chao came late, she only saw Bao Yu's back, and then she said a few words to the attacker, and then she heard her mother-in-law run over and say that Jin Ju had jumped into the well and died.
Slaves kill themselves, which in ancient times was a major family ugliness no matter what kind of family. He must have been killed by his master, and Jia Zheng was the first to complain about Madame Wang.
"Good end, who's going to jump the well?" There has never been such a thing in my family, and since the ancestors, they have been lenient to the next person. In recent years, I have been lazy in housework, and the natural deacons have seized power, resulting in this scourge of violence and light life. If outsiders know, where is the face of the ancestors! ”
This is a major event that has lost the face of the ancestors of Jia Fu, and it is a major scandal in Jia Fu. As the saying goes, the ugliness of the family cannot be publicized, and relatives are one of the outsiders. Although Xue Baochao's family lived in Jia Province, they were also relatives of Jia Province, and the daughter of one of Xue Baochao's relatives should not have intervened in this matter at all.
Not only should she not care, but even her mother, Aunt Xue, should not interject, and those Miss Qianjin in Jia Province, such as Sanchun, did not have a single question, did they not know to comfort Lady Wang?
Xue Baochao was so smart, but she had to take the initiative to take this muddy water. She quickly took the initiative to run to Madame Wang, because she wanted to take advantage of Jin Jun's death to express her heartfelt feelings to Madame Wang. She had already guessed that Lady Wang had killed Lady Wang, and she was going to help Lady Wang with the aftermath.
Although Madame Wang is not very smart, she is not stupid. As soon as she saw that Xue Baochao was so proactive in not treating herself as an outsider, she pushed the responsibility to the dead Jin Ju in three words and helped Lady Wang whitewash. Then simply give her a chance to test it and see how far she can give for herself.
Then she asked Bao Chao for clothes to make birthday clothes for Jin Jun. Not to mention that Jin Ju is a lady, Bao Chao is a lady, even ordinary people's aunts can't do such a lack of morality, take their niece's clothes for the dead to wear, and pretend to ask: You really are not afraid!
If I had such an aunt, I would definitely have to break off my friendship with her whole family.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Minefield Seven: Elevating Yourself by Belittling Others. </h1>
People with high emotional intelligence know how to maintain the dignity of others, even if they want to express themselves, they will never degrade others, let alone step on others in front of others.
Xue Baochao liked to do this. In fact, it is because as the daughter of a declining businessman, there is really nothing that can be done in such a kung fu giant as Jia Fu, only knowledge and brains.
The main person she despised to set off herself was Wang Xifeng, the eldest cousin, because Wang Xifeng was not as knowledgeable as she was, and she was sure that Wang Xifeng would not turn her face to the face of the Wang family.
Xue Baochao belittled Wang Xifeng's lack of culture after Liu Grandma visited the Grand View Garden. Lin Daiyu ridiculed Liu Yao as a female locust, and Xue Baochao took the opportunity to belittle her.
Loss is damage, Liu Grandma's performance is indeed difficult to respect, but she prefers to step on Wang Xifeng's foot to show herself.
Bao Chao smiled, "The words of the world will be exhausted when they reach the mouth of Feng Yatou." Fortunately, Feng Yatou does not recognize the words, not very common, but all of them are made fun of by the city customs, and there is more of a narrow mouth, she uses the Spring and Autumn method to make the rough words of the city customs, pick them up, delete their complexity, and then add polishing analogies, one sentence is one sentence. The three words of this female locust have revealed all those shapes of yesterday. Thanks to her, she thought about it quickly. When everyone heard this, they all laughed and said, "Your annotation is not below the two of them." ”
Does Wang Xifeng really only blindly make fun of the world? Don't forget how happy Wang Xifeng's flattering Jia Mu is, Jia Mu is born noble, knowledgeable, tasteful, and exquisite life, do you only like Wang Xifeng's "worldly teasing"?
Xue Baochao was very wrong, Wang Xifeng just couldn't write poetry, didn't know how to write, her eloquence even had to bow to the wind, and one of You's second sister's female virtues was simply amazing!
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Minefield Eight: Wishful thinking to please others</h1>
People with high emotional intelligence do not wishfully curry favor with others. If there is still interaction between Xue Baochao and Madame Wang, it is really awkward between her and Baoyu and Jia Mu.
The time Baoyu was beaten, the xue family's mother and daughter greeted Baoyu with a cold greeting, and Baochao personally held the pill in the summer, all the way from the north of the Grand View Garden to the south of the Grand View Garden, sent stick sore medicine to Bao Yu, and also said that he was distressed, red circles, and choked up.
If Wang Xifeng is playing a fancy whistle in front of Baoyu to please Jia Mu, then Baochao's fancy whistle is several times that of Wang Xifeng.
The result of this behavior is that Jia Fuli knows that Bao Girl has excellent rod sore medicine, and later Jia Lian is beaten, and Ping'er also deliberately goes to baochao to ask for it, and Baochao pretends not to know. They are all cousins, and the difference is too big.
Bao Yu was beaten, and he was quite touched to see Bao Chao's true feelings revealed. Then when he wanted to drink the small lotus leaf lotus soup, Xue Baochao was even more embarrassed in front of Jia Mu's flattery.
Bao Chao smiled and said, "I've been here for so many years, pay attention to it, Feng Yatou is so clever with him, no matter how coincidental the old lady goes." ”
When Xue Baochao said this, Wang Xifeng was standing next to him. Just now, I was still very active in talking and laughing, and after listening to Bao Chao's words, I was directly silent and did not say a word. Jia Mu must have defended Sister Feng, that was her darling, which onion was Xue Baochao counted?
Jia Mu directly said that Sister Feng's mouth was worthy of her love, and also said, "There is also a case of disgust in the mouth, but it is better not to speak." "Isn't it that Xue Baochao should shut up if he can't speak?"
Jia Mu's position was damaged without revealing a trace, and she continued: "Mentioning sisters, it is not that I flatter in front of my aunt's wife, it is true, from the four girls in our family, it is not as good as Bao Yatou." "Obviously, the Xue family flattered Jia Mu, obviously it is false and can no longer be fake, and the concubines of Jia Fu are much more noble than Xue Baochao, not to mention Yuan Chun, who is a noble concubine."
Jia Mu punched Bao Chao in the face like this, but no one could pick out the fault, which was the high emotional intelligence of the king's rank. Xue Baochao was just a silver stage in front of Jia Mu.
Xue Baochao sacrificed a lot of her time and energy, even at the expense of offending Wang Xifeng, she also had to please Jia Mu, and the result was a lose-lose situation, and Jia Mu was also very uncomfortable with her, which was really not high emotional intelligence.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > Minefield Nine: Prefer to outperform others in language</h1>
When Xue Baochao was running the Golden Jade Liangyuan in the early stages, she was often intimidated by Lin Daiyu in person, but she disguised it very well and pretended to be like no one else. Even if Lin Daiyu gave her no face in public, she could not bear it, which was indeed a very good plus behavior.
But when she gradually discovered that Baoyu only had Daiyu in her heart, and wanted to use her to find happiness to coax Lin Daiyu, she became angry. The thirtieth time, Bao Chao watched as Bao Yu resisted the good fortune of Jin Yu for Dai Yu, and also held hands with Dai Yu to reconcile, really losing his mind.
When Baoyu said that she was sick and did not go to Xue Pan's birthday party, she immediately poked herself through and pretended to be ill and did not go to Qing Feiguan; Baoyu said that "the body is rich and timid like Yang Concubine", Bao Chao was directly angry and even Jia Yuanchun and the old and young masters of Jia Fu were sarcastic; Dai Yu asked her what drama she watched, and she then asked Jing jing to ridicule Bao Yu and Dai Yu for quarreling and reconciling; the little girl who usually liked to play with her came to her for a fan, and she put up her eyes and ran away crying and crying...
It was like eating gun medicine, completely irrational. A girl from a relative's family who lived in a guest house, playing a mean and mighty trick in the family's home, and there were Jia Mu, Wang Xifeng, Sanchun, etc. on the spot, Xue Baochao's play was really too failed, although it was too hard, but it exposed the true face of her jealousy and lightness.
In fact, does it necessary for her to suppress others verbally? Not necessarily at all.
She should understand that since she wants to strive for "golden jade and good fortune", she must be mentally prepared to lie down and taste courage, after all, there is no advantage in family lineage and feelings, and if she does not make a dignified lady appearance of a great sage, is she even more uncompetitive?
The people of Jia FuTang Gongfu, the nobles and magnates, the grandsons of the "phoenix" general, why should they marry the daughters of the fallen merchant Jia and Jinling Yiba family, the brother still has a human life case, no magic is allowed, the whole family is sent to the fence, Xue Baochao is still several years older than Jia Baoyu.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > minefield ten: for self-interest, self-interest is too obvious</h1>
Xue Baochao is usually more measured, as long as it has nothing to do with her interests, she can be a lady who is alone.
But once she catches an opportunity in her favor, her fox tail will be exposed, regardless of her own interests, the harm to others and self-interest is very obvious, eating is particularly ugly.
For example, the twenty-eighth time, Lin Daiyu offended Lady Wang because of her speech, Jia Baoyu desperately lied to make up for it, and Bao Chao did not help to round the lie. Later, Wang Xifeng hit the round field, the matter had already passed, and Lin Daiyu was not happy to leave on her own.
Baoyu stayed behind to continue coaxing Madame Wang and accompanying her mother to eat vegetarian food. As soon as Xue Baochao saw that Lady Wang was angry with Lin Daiyu, he began to anxiously wear small shoes for Daiyu, and reminded Baoyu several times in front of Madame Wang to hurry up and coax Lin Daiyu, Baoyu is really difficult to be a person.
Later, Bao Yu went to find Dai Yu at dinner, and Bao Chao said again, "You told him to eat quickly to see Lin Sister go, tell him to do something here Hu Hong", Hu Hong is the meaning of fooling, very vulgar and ugly, Bao Chao's meaning is to let Bao Yu not fool around here, let him go to find Dai Yu to fool around, Madame Wang is even more disgusted with Lin Daiyu.
Although Xue Baochao successfully seized the opportunity to let Lin Daiyu lose points in Madame Wang's heart, her impatient appearance also made Bao Yu look down. Later, Bao Chao chased Bao Yu to Dai Yu's house, Bao Yu looked at her and got angry, and directly picked her up to play mahjong with Jia Mu, and Bao Chao was really very embarrassed.
In summary, people with really high emotional intelligence will get along like a spring breeze, even if no one is perfect, it is impossible to step on the minefield of interpersonal relations because of quick success. Xue Baochao's high emotional intelligence is just an illusion, she just learned to disguise, and she understands some human feelings.
If you really want to follow Xue Baochao to learn to be a person, it will not only be very hard, but also have no friends.
Throughout the book of "Dream of the Red Chamber", the so-called "will be a person" Xue Baochao actually does not have a true friend, but Lin Daiyu, who is known for his "small nature" and "meanness", has a good relationship with everyone, even the warblers and Xiangling around Baochao are willing to go to Lin Daiyu to play with, who is the real high emotional intelligence, in fact, the author has written very clearly.
Aomatsu Tsuru singing/Contributing Contribution
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