Sacrifice, my uncle

My uncle left on June 17, 2021 [Tears] I didn't rush home to see my uncle for the last time, which is a regret in my life! As the only niece, it is too much of a failure, and there are always some reasons for it! But that doesn't cancel out that I can forgive myself! I haven't slept much in the past two days, and I can't sleep! I thought my uncle should go to my uncle! It should be a pleasure to see your uncle! My aunt has been away from us for more than thirty years, and I still remember it vividly! Uncles and uncles are loving! My feelings for my uncle should be deeper than my uncle, when I was a child, I was basically an uncle, because my uncle would plant a lot of delicious food, vegetable melon melon sugar cane is always unable to eat the look, uncle and we kiss, my mother and uncle are a mother born, they are aunts, my mother and my uncle are the same father, it sounds complicated in fact, it is not complicated, my mother and my father gave birth to my mother, my mother-in-law starved to death when my mother was four years old, (Famine in 1959) Later, my eldest uncle and aunt made up my aunt (also my uncle) to marry my uncle, afraid of marrying someone else's family, my mother will suffer, marry my uncle, my mother is equivalent to going home, (these things are my uncle and Aunt Xitou told me, maybe my two cousins don't know) My mother was raised by my uncle and my uncle, and both sides are related by blood so they are very close. My uncle is a strict person, do not like the parents to say other people's words, my uncle worked in the county, when he was a child, it was rare to see him, as long as I knew that my uncle came home one day, my mother would take me and my brother to my uncle's house to eat a meal, and my uncle would call the fish to the river to fish for us to eat, at that time poverty was the happiest time. I remember the year of my uncle's retirement, several big cars sent my uncle home, my uncle brought a big red flower, and a banner was hung on the car for a glorious retirement. My uncle retired early in order to make my eldest cousin top the job, and the policy at that time could be wiped out why not! When I went to see my uncle in the middle of last year, my later uncle was still indignant when she talked about it, and I thought to myself, what does this have to do with you! But I can't say. I remember that my uncle's happiest year should be that my little cousin was admitted to the military school as a soldier, my little cousin was admitted to the military school and went home, we went to the town to pick him up, my little cousin got out of the car, my uncle immediately kissed him a big mouthful, saying that my son was awesome! At that time, my little cousin was his pride! My later uncle was my aunt (that is, my uncle died less than two years ago) I don't remember how long it took, I remember going to his house once, I asked my uncle, what about my uncle? Uncle said to go to the river to wash clothes, told me to help wash, but also very serious to this uncle and the original uncle as good, I did not speak and left, in fact, I am very afraid of my uncle, straight from then on I went less, but also grew up slowly out of the work there is no time, at that time the uncle can not take care of us, to take care of the later uncle's family. Later uncle is not the same, in fact, we are still very grateful to her, took care of my uncle for decades, took good care of it, there are merits and hard work, my uncle is eighty-six this year, this age is normal, say reluctant that it is for sure! It's our loved ones! At the beginning of the first month of this year, my husband and I went to visit the New Year, and saw him touching the wall and bumping from the kitchen to take a small half bowl of rice and put a small meat bun on the surface, some of the feelings in my heart, my uncle saw that we were excited and did not eat, I said you eat! We all ate before coming, he said he couldn't eat it, he said a few words, his uncle said he was going to leave, I just looked at him and didn't dare to answer, didn't dare to speak and didn't know what to say. In fact, I want to say in my heart, uncle are you afraid? Don't dare! Don't dare to face those topics! My uncle looked at me and took out two handkerchiefs from my pocket and asked me to wash them, which became my last interaction with my uncle! Uncle went up the mountain today to see uncle! Should be happy! May the uncle and the uncle be a long-term couple in the next life! [Prayer] [Prayer] [Prayer] The kind of [prayer] [prayer] [prayer] [prayer] [tears] [tears] [tears]