Give me wings and take me high

Over the years, he has been running around for his life and neglecting to take care of his son. I don't remember one afternoon that day, because I was out running errands. After the matter was handled, he did not return to the company and went home directly, and on a rare day, he bought vegetables and cooked rice at home before his son left school. The first sentence of the son opening the door and coming in: "Daddy"! There was a wall at the entrance to the kitchen follow-up door, and the son couldn't see who was cooking in the kitchen. When he went to the kitchen he said, "How is mommy you?" "Yes, I never cooked at home in all these years when he came home from school, from the second grade of elementary school all the way through the second grade of high school. I also don't want to leave regrets in my life, in December 2020, I finally put down my job and returned to my family to take care of my son who will take the college entrance examination after a year and a half to study and live. I don't want to miss the most important moments of his life, where work can be done all over again, but the time is gone.

It was a rainy day in Shanghai in December, and my son forgot to bring an umbrella when he went out in the morning. Near the end of school, I took two umbrellas and rushed into the vast rainy sea. I fantasized about rushing to the platform where my son got off the bus and waiting for him to get off, so I handed the umbrella up, thinking about it. Just as I was rushing forward, because I remembered that the bus stop was in front. A student walked by, wearing the same uniform as my son, who did not have an umbrella and fastened his clothes and hat on his head. I thought to myself that my son should have been rained like him without an umbrella. I glanced at the green thermos on the side of the boy's school bag. Isn't that what I just bought? Little fat, Fan little fat. The boy looked back: "Mom, how are you!" "Mother saw that you didn't bring an umbrella, and she was afraid that you would fall into the soup chicken, so she came to pick you up!" "You don't have to come out on a rainy day, I'll be fine," the son said with a sneer. "I remember that the bus stop was still in front, how did you get off" "I got off the bus early in the back" When we approached the bus stop I remembered, it had been withdrawn and turned into a taxi point. My eyes were wet, and my heart was full of mixed feelings. My son has been riding this bus from school for a year and a half and I don't even know where he got off the bus. Along the way, my son chatted with me about what to eat in the evening, and the mother and son chatted back and forth to go home. It was probably the only time I picked him up from school in nearly a decade.

Although I did a humble job, it was the foundation of my life and the dignity of my life. I have always been fighting with this steel gun in my hand and fighting on the battlefield of life. And my husband asked me to put down this steel gun and return to the family to take care of my son's study and life. I also hesitated and struggled repeatedly, as if I had surrendered my weapons on the battlefield of my life. Although I am not a warrior, the steel gun in my hand is my amulet! Now that I am told to give up and surrender to life, it can be seen that I am struggling with pain.

I am a failed woman, the money is not earned, the family is not good. For the sake of that broken silver, he traveled outside all year round and rarely cared about his family. It's been more than a month since I left everything behind to return to my family, but my fear of stay-at-home mothers is growing day by day. Fear of disconnection from society, fear of never getting out of touch.

Two days ago, I saw that the new civil code law stipulates that full-time mothers can also get a salary, the marriage can be owed, and if the divorce is settled on time. Even so, it was just like asking my husband for food, and I would never do that. This society is harsh on women, requiring women to work and take care of their families. But how many can balance the two? Recently, I have been thinking about how to start a business at home, and I am also learning about money management and writing. I hope to earn some living expenses through financial management and hone one skill - writing.

Despite the cold pace of life, I still hope to ignite the dream in my heart. Only if you start your dream wholeheartedly, God will help you too! Hope to give me a pair of wings, take me high, to glimpse the light of hope in life!