Yan Yan said: In this world of thin feelings, we should live more affectionately.
On the last night in Dali, I went to see "Send You a Little Red Flower", and I wept for the bitterness of those desperate situations, and I kept crying, crying to the end, very embarrassed.
Wiping away my tears, I decided to write something, so I have today's article, hoping to give you a little insignificant warmth.
sequence
There are two shots in the film, subtle but shocking.
Yi Qianxi pointed to himself and shouted to his father:
"If I don't run away to catch my breath, I might as well die!"
As soon as the dead word came out, his father slapped it, and when he was finished, his eyes went black, and he covered his face and whimpered.
Half a moment later, he said, "Don't die, you give me a good life."
No matter how difficult and anxious the first half of his life was, he never touched a finger on his son.
But he categorically could not accept that his son, who had cancer, had tried the side effects of psychiatric drugs in order to make money.
And this one.
The father, who was sitting at the hospital door, lost his daughter.
When his daughter was alive, he had not eaten a full meal, and all the money was used to treat the child.
Puzzled, the child blinked his cute eyes and asked:
"Dad, the aunt in the hospital always says you don't eat, why don't you eat, hungry or not?"
As a father, as long as the child's illness can be cured, there are thoughts in his heart, and no matter how bitter the days are, they have to go down.
He looked at his daughter's pale face after chemotherapy, his heart ached, and he just smiled and lied:
"Dad ate it, ate braised beef rice outside, and it was fragrant!"
But when the child suddenly disappeared, the string in his heart also collapsed.
Carrying a large bag and a small bag, holding the washbasin, he walked to the side of the hospital road in frustration, and the man cried in the sky.
Yi Qianxi, who was passing by, ordered him takeaway, but his pen name was his daughter. Looking at the bowl of braised beef rice, this middle-aged father's heart was empty.
He devoured and ate hard, tears streaming down his face. Gasping for breath and crying, his body trembled.
The tears of these two men made my heart feel uncomfortable when I saw them.
What is even more powerless is that they all have archetypes in reality, and those sufferings are the portrayal of ordinary people.
Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina:
Happy families are all the same, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes.
Off-screen, I recorded the next 12 twists and turns of the family trapped in the disease,
It's not earth-shattering, but the tears in the corners of their eyes, the helplessness in their mouths, and the hysterical roars in their hearts are the most real in the world.
Unit 1
【Sorrow under the disease】
1.
Last year, a single dad was infected with COVID-19.
When I entered the hospital, I stepped on one foot into the underworld.
He lay in the ICU, struggling to fight with death, while sending a message to the little girl in the family, comforting her that she would be healthy to go home.
Everyone was anxiously hoping that he would get better.
But he, anyway, was gone.
The day I left was very sudden, very desolate, very lonely, without a word of explanation, and there was no companionship around.
The doctors pretended to be calm, their hearts were already turbulent, and when they were in a trance to collect his belongings, they accidentally poked the screen.
The phone lit up, and suddenly flashed in a WeChat message that said,
"Dad, you just turn on WeChat."
Click in, is the three-year-old girl did not know that her father is gone,
Keep shouting daddy to the phone, daddy, daddy...
After watching this scene, the doctors collectively burst into tears.
No one knows how broken that dad was in his last moments, and who knows how the child will grow up stumbling when the mountain collapses.
2.
This is an essay for elementary school students.
Dad died four years ago.
Later, my mother also fell ill, and I spent all the money in the hospital, but it was still not good.
The mother lay dying on the hospital bed, and the child brought his own food, and the little hand held the mother and said:
"Mom, you'll be fine, I support you, eat the food I made, and sleep again."
The next day, mom was still weak.
On the third day, my mother said groggily, "Little sister, my mother wants to go home." ”
She took her mother home, sat with her for a while, and then sensibly went to cook for her mother.
When the meal was ready, she called mom, and there was no response, already dead.
Textbooks say that there is a place where sun moon lake, that is, the tears left by the daughter missing her mother.
3.
This is a 12-year-old seriously ill boy.
He knew that in order to treat him, his family was already destitute, and everything he could borrow was borrowed, and there was no money.
His illness could not be cured, and it seemed that he could only die.
He couldn't bear to drag his parents down any longer.
So he took his mobile phone, secretly deleted all his photos, and left a message to his parents:
"When I'm gone, don't look at my pictures again."
Forget me and live a good life again. ”
He took the initiative to tell the doctor to give up treatment, and then called his parents to the ward, trembling and saying:
"Mommy and Daddy, if I die, you'll adopt another one!"
Don't look at it, let's go home, I want to spend more time with you in a limited time.
If there is an afterlife, I want to be your child again, to be a healthy child..."
Listening to his son's words, his father walked out of the ward, crouched in the corner of the wall and cried.
Weakness is the most heart-wrenching outcome.
This father, who may have cried countless times in the middle of the night and wet his pillow, was eager to slap himself hard,
He also wanted to save his son's life, but the helplessness of reality forced him to bow his head and could only watch his son send him away.
There is only one disease in the world, and that is the disease of poverty.
4.
"My wife, who can't afford to treat her illness, died."
A few years ago, there was such a post on the Internet, written a few times and then broken, and there was no follow-up, but it recorded a heartbreaking story.
The wife spent 300,000 yuan to treat the disease, but he did not have so much money, and the family property was sold, only 200,000.
The difference is 100,000, it is 100,000, he did not save his wife, and her wife died.
The money was gone, the home was gone, and later he wandered the streets, often remembering his wife's beautiful smile, and always hating his incompetence in chagrin.
He was crazy, laughing and scolding himself for not being a man, and crying as he spoke:
"I think I'm a failure, I can't protect my wife."
If I am 100,000, I am 100,000.
I'm such a fool. Cargo, idiot, weak. wisdom.
I didn't get 100,000 yuan.
I just didn't get 100,000 yuan.
I just didn't get 100,000 yuan. ”
Someone read the post and wanted to donate money to him, and his reply was full of gratitude but no nostalgia.
"Thanks, I just don't need to."
I'm going to see her. ”
Then, there is no follow-up to the post.
Compared with the ruthlessness of the disease, the real destruction of this man may be the former living lover, who suffered from the disease and died under his own eyes, because he had no money.
5.
Lu Yao wrote in "Ordinary World":
An ordinary and ordinary person will always feel overwhelmed by the waves of life.
You haven't hurt, you don't understand.
You're not poor, you don't understand.
Only after experiencing the difficulties of life will you understand those lifeless despairs.
In Guangxi, a 69-year-old woman, sick, would rather die than drag her family, committed suicide by biting her tongue in an ambulance, and her mouth was full of blood.
The old man was very determined, the dental pad was bitten into a pothole, and the tracheal intubation was about to be bitten off.
The son desperately broke his mother's teeth, hugged her, shook his head and cried loudly,
"Mom don't, don't."
"The family has money to cure diseases!" Mom, don't go, I don't want to, Mom don't go. ”
Only parents use their lives to support their children, and their love can transcend life and death.
6.
Last year, a 79-year-old man with cancer, not wanting to drag his children down, dug himself a hole in the mountain and planned to commit suicide.
The hole was narrow, and it went in sideways, unable to stand, and could only bend over in an extremely twisted posture, sniffing the cold and damp smell of the air, lonely and desperate.
And the old man had already made up his mind.
He put on the birthday coat he had prepared long ago, cut his wrist with a knife, and then drilled into the black hole a meter deep, crouching in the pit and waiting quietly for death.
The disease that makes people think of death as soon as they wake up can easily take away the lives of ordinary people.
But what is even more frightening than this is that even if the disease does not take away the life of the patient, it will take away the hope of the whole family in the midst of suffering and struggle.
It is like a landmine buried in the body, putting an invisible shackle on life.
But what is family?
It is the one who lives humblely in the shadow of death, and who will defend your life,
It is the one who came for you in the torrential rain, regardless of his own wetness.
It is the one who everyone gives up, and at any cost, wants to pull you back from the hands of death.
Unit 2:
【Spring in torment】
There is a line in "No Questions Asked":
"Don't be afraid, I'm the one who gave you the bottom, and I'll fall down with you."
No matter how deep it falls, I will hold you underneath. ”
No matter how desperate the patient is, this is actually the heart of the family of the seriously ill patient.
7.
Dr. Tao Yong tells a moving story in his book.
Henan boy Tianci, because of the tumor, was forced to remove the left eye, and later the right eye also found a tumor, it is difficult to treat the disease, and the medical expenses are a huge expense.
Tianzi's father packed his bags and rushed into Beijing, taking Tianzi to live in the underground passage, sleeping at the railway station, and saving medical expenses by selling newspapers, sugar gourds, and carrying bags.
Once, a patient asked Heavenly Gift:
"Where is your home?"
Tenchi shook his head, which had lost his hair due to chemotherapy, and said with a smile:
"Where my dad is, my house is."
Another time, they spent the night in the underground passage, and the little hooligan who passed by bullied them and asked Tianzi to kneel down and kowtow to the little hooligan.
Although Tianci's father was thin and weak, he saw that his son was bullied, and he desperately fought with the little hooligans, and the fight broke and bled, and the little bastards were scared away.
That's how powerful a father is.
He can live a humble life, but he can also defend the dignity of his loved ones with his life.
8.
On the construction site, a man knelt on the ground, because of long-term fatigue, his legs fell ill, and the pain was unbearable every day.
He had been working for 16 hours in a row, but he didn't dare stop.
My son was sick and was lying in the hospital waiting for help.
He was a big man, looking at the picture of his son, tears flowing, wiping the tears with his hands that rubbed the lime, and said,
"If I don't fight, my child will be gone!"
In order to save his relatives, the eldest son dropped out of school and ran to work in the construction site, and the sister also broke up with her husband in order to save her brother.
Knowing the torment, but still desperate, stumbling towards you, this is the family.
9.
The younger brother had leukemia, the father took the younger brother to the city for medical treatment, and the 12-year-old brother was left alone at home.
There was a chicken in the house that laid a lot of eggs.
The elder brother was reluctant to eat, washed one by one, put them in bamboo baskets, and saved them, wanting to keep them for his younger brother.
Who expected that the eggs were all broken, and the brother's illness was not good.
Dad later dragged his luggage back home, saw the basket of stinky eggs, learned that his son wanted to leave it for his brother, and did not want to eat any of them, and cried uncomfortably.
The sensible child stammered, slapped his hand on his father's back, looked at his father, and followed the tears.
No matter rich or poor, no matter health or disease, the warmest thing in this world is that there is always someone who loves you.
10.
An old woman in her eighties has to pedal for 2 hours every day and sell wild vegetables in three rounds.
When it was raining, when it was snowing, the road was difficult to walk, and the cold wind whistled into her neck, and she hesitated, hollowing out her strength, and had to pedal three rounds with great effort.
I couldn't move anymore, so I got down and pushed the cart.
What forces the elderly who have passed the age of flower armor to take to the streets to sell vegetables?
It turned out that her wife was sick in bed, waiting for the medicine she sold wild vegetables to continue her life.
The old lady was also very tired, and she was kneeling in the ground digging wild vegetables.
But she said:
"I don't want my wife to die, he's dead, what does it mean for me to be alone?"
Love is like a bond that connects two people struggling with suffering.
But even if the world is full of sadness, in the world of thin feelings, there is always some warmth quietly happening, making people tear up.
11.
This winter, Zhejiang.
His wife, who was terminally ill, did not want to be treated and ran away from the hospital.
The husband was in a hurry, and the police looked for her street by street, and eventually in one street, he saw his wife crouching on the ground and crying.
It was raining that day, and it was cold and fluttering on his body, and he pulled up his lover on the ground, draped his cotton coat over his wife, and tightly held her in his arms.
Hugging her, she said, "Let's not give up, don't go, okay?" ”
The most affectionate words are often unspeakable.
The man who loves you deeply, he is not afraid of death, he is only afraid of pushing him away.
12.
5-year-old girl with cancer for 3 years, at the last birthday party of her life,
The father knew that he could not watch his daughter get married, so at the birthday party, he put on a suit and proposed to his daughter.
She may not yet understand the meaning of death.
She may not understand the twinkle in her father's eyes.
She couldn't understand how heavy her father's struggling laughter was.
But she must have understood that Her father's heart was filled with love for her.
Because of her father's persistence, she can walk out of the hospital bed like a normal child, put on beautiful clothes, have a good cake to eat, and many people give her a birthday and walk the last road of life with dignity.
In fact, there is no medicine god in this world, only ordinary people who are unwilling to give up their lives.
There are no gods in the world, only the hope of trying to survive.
And all the bravery born of jedi is because of love.
Unit 3:
【Beauty always happens】
At the end of "Send You a Little Red Flower", there are these few sentences:
Do you believe in parallel space-time?
There, there must be another you, and another me, living a different life than ours.
It was a world free of sickness and sorrow.
I believe.
But real life is always inseparable from all kinds of suffering.
We live and we all experience loss.
Even if you are afraid, worried, helpless, and depressed, you can face loss, the most powerful counterattack,
It is to seriously live every minute of the moment, the dance of life with shackles, more beautiful.
In order to have a full meal, the takeaway brother went out to take orders on rainy days.
The severed arm on Mount Taishan picks up the mountain, 20 kilometers back and forth, walking 3 times a day, and doing it for 20 years.
Migrant workers lie on steel pipes and rest.
When President Liu died and the funeral car drove away, his wife chased after the car and cried bitterly.
Cerebral palsy takeaway brother, love his work, active life.
When small people face the hardships of life, only tenacity can live towards death.
The Centennial Tavern says:
"Why do so many people who live very badly die quietly?"
"Because life might get better."
Give you a thumbs up and send you a small red flower, the deepest mud and sand that blooms in the bottom of your heart.
I hope that everyone can live simply and safely, without illness and worry, and with good health.
2021, live well, better than anything.