These 15 ways are more useful than hitting a child, would you like to learn?

All current studies have shown that hitting a child causes more problems than the benefits of hitting a child, such as the following results:

⭐️ Antisocial behavior

⭐️ Aggressive

⭐️ Injured

⭐️ Mental health issues

What are the benefits of hitting a child?

⭐️ Vent your emotions and feel very cool

⭐️ You don't have to think about the deep causes of your child's "problem" behavior, which is convenient

Can hitting a child have an educational effect? No. If hitting a child seems effective, just making the child afraid of being beaten does not really make the child understand the meaning of his actions themselves. It is only effective to use positive reinforcement to guide the child's behavior.

So, what can parents do when a child has inappropriate behavior?

⭐️ Change the environment

Before your child "does science experiments" with your good wine, lock the door to the wine cabinet or put the wine out of your child's reach.

If your child can't help but stop and read a comic book while doing homework, take the comic book away. If the child can't help but copy the answers in the exercise book, tear the answers off. Many times, changing the environment will make the child change behavior. It would also dampen the need for harsher penalties.

I have an ADHD (commonly known as hyperactivity) student who has poor control and behaves in a particularly special way, such as deliberately pouring water from my cup on the ground, and since then I have not let her go near my cup until she can control her behavior very well.

⭐️ Be well prepared

If you want to take your child somewhere, bring toys for your child to play on the road. If you think hunger will start making your child fuss, bring your child some snacks. If your child is in a bad mood when you are sleepy and may cause trouble, please let your child take a nap when you go out. It is better to snuff out the child's bad behavior in the cradle, rather than waiting until something goes wrong to think about solving it.

⭐️ Make the rules

As a parent, there must be rules. What are the rules? What happens if you don't follow them? If the family had clear rules, daily life would be more orderly. Rules can have some flexibility, especially for older children. But reasonable rules and penalties are needed. Consider posting the rules and their consequences somewhere in your home.

For example, the student who was in a lot of condition with me above once kicked me and bit me when he started class. What I asked him was not to attack me for no reason, and if he attacked me I would fight back. After a few executions, the kid never attacked me again.

⭐️ Consistent

If family rules dictate that your child must wash their hands before dinner, make sure to do it every time. If you selectively execute the rules, they will not work. Children need to know that rules are rules, that rules are constant, and that the consequences of not following them are consistent.

⭐️ Let the child bear the consequences

Everyone needs to know the consequences of bad behavior. Whether it's no TV, no cell phones, or more chores, children need to know that breaking the rules comes at a cost. You don't need to criticize your child harshly, just execute the agreed punishment. Be firm and consistent.

⭐️ Don't give attention

Yes, ignoring bad behavior works much more than spanking, especially for younger kids. In situations where children crave attention, sometimes no reaction is the best response. Because the child will more or less deliberately do some bad behavior to get the attention he wants.

I am a 6-year-old child with a lot of behavioral problems. Halfway through yesterday's class suddenly looked at me and said out loud. Seeing that I did not respond, he smiled and said "cāo, cáo, cǎo, cào, cào" I still did not respond, he did not say.

If I had been so startled, she would have repeated it endlessly.

Let the bad behavior be reduced, it's as simple as that, and don't pay attention to it anyway (of course, pay enough attention to the good behavior)

⭐️ Have your child pause

This is a very effective tool. The usual rule is to pause for as many minutes as the child is. They should be quiet in the corners or chairs. When your child is on pause for their own play, don't interact with them. A big part of the suspension of punishment is to let the child stay on his own. When it's over, in addition to the child's apology, turn the page, and don't endlessly say that the child has done something wrong.

⭐️ Pause yourself

If you're going crazy, don't get out of control of your child. Delegate the scene to another adult. Give a friend a call, count from 1 to 10, take a shower... Take enough time to calm yourself down so that you know what to do next time you encounter this situation. Humor also reduces stress and relaxes.

⭐️ Look over there!

One of the best ways to get younger kids to turn bad behavior into good behavior is to divert their attention. Does a child want someone else's toy? Look, there's a more interesting toy! If two children are wrestling or scrambling, they may want to move the child to another room.

⭐️ Be an adult

When children behave badly, it is also the time for parents to be adults. Being an adult means controlling your impulses and acting calmly. Calm down and do not rely on the child to control the child, in order to let the child mature.

⭐️ Have compassion

A Stanford university study showed that middle school teachers who took "empathetic" approach to wayward students had half as many student suspensions as "unsympathetic" teachers. This attitude can also be adopted at home. Talk calmly, clearly, and understandingly with misbehaving children.

⭐️ Give your child a hug

Children are bound to behave badly because they are children. After a good parent punishes his child, he can still be considerate of his or her child. After dealing with the problem, a small hug can make the child understand that they are still loved by their parents.

⭐️ Make sure your child understands what you mean

When you are punishing a child, look into the child's eyes, have a calm attitude, and express your request briefly and clearly. Tell your child what to do and not what not to do. If they are still not performing well, please explain the consequences of their actions.

⭐️ Can be negotiated

Especially for older kids, being flexible enough to discipline and punish can make things go more smoothly. Involving children in decision-making increases their judgment and motivation to follow the rules. Even for very young two- or three-year-olds, it is useful to do so within the limits they can understand.

Author: Xia Nan, a nationally registered psychological counselor, focuses on the intellectual development of developing backward children, and the improvement of attention and learning ability of children with ADHD