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01
I have an older sister.
When I was a student, I rarely mentioned her to my classmates and friends.
However, every day after school, she would sit on the stairwell and wait for me.
When they see me, they smile, take my hand, and pull my clothes.
It's just that she can't say a word, and she murmurs like a little baby.
Yes, that's why I'm reluctant to mention her.
Although my sister was three years older than me, a medical malpractice kept her intelligence at a year old forever.
02
My sister was born in 1987, because she is a rabbit, and everyone in the family likes to call her a little rabbit.
When my sister was born, it was noon, in time for the doctor's shift, and a novice midwife gave birth to my mother.
Because of the wrong technique, he pressed the back of his sister's head.
Such a wrong operation made the sister who had just come into this world lose the opportunity to grow up healthy.
Because that position was too close to the neck, it hurt the nerves.
Later, my parents and my sister ran all over the country's major hospitals, but in the end they could not save it.
One doctor said bluntly, don't bother, your daughter's condition will not live to be eight years old.
My mom broke down on the spot.
But my sister was like a little miracle, difficult, but very hard to grow up.
03
My family is in a small county town in Taizhou, Zhejiang.
Mom and Dad are both civil servants. My father graduated from Zhejiang University, and he was very powerful in that year. It is highly reused after work.
In 1990, my parents gave birth to me again after determining that my sister could not be cured.
That was the era when family planning was at its strictest.
If my sister had not had an unexpected disability, I would not have had the opportunity to appear.
But as a child, I didn't understand the causal relationship of this fate.
From the beginning of the memory, everything in the family was inevitably tied to the sister.
Some subtle resentments quietly accumulated in my heart.
However, what embarrassed me the most was the snooping and ridicule of my family by outsiders.
04
There will always be good people who ask me, why is your sister stupid?
In fact, they didn't care how hard my sister was or how much it hurt me, they just wanted to satisfy their curiosity.
In junior high school, the mother-in-law who took care of her sister at home resigned and returned to her hometown because she was older.
My mother was not at ease to hand over her sister to a stranger who did not support the bottom, and she retired early and stayed at home. This family was even more strangled by my sister.
In the winter and summer vacations, the parents of good friends will take them on a trip to see the places of interest and monuments, the great rivers and mountains.
As for my family, it is not easy to even go out for a meal together. I remembered that my sister hadn't been out since she was 10 years old. Feeding outside and walking is very inconvenient.
If I go out with my parents, I have to start preparing in the afternoon and feed my sister before I can go out. It takes up to 3 hours to rush back.
At an ignorant age, I used to cry and ask my mother, why do I want to have a sister?
My mom sat silently with only tears in her eyes.
How is she going to explain it to me?
It is not why there is a sister, but why fate is so unfair, so that a child who was originally healthy and healthy lost the opportunity to grow up normally as soon as he was born.
05
Although, I was angry with my sister. But she liked me very much.
Maybe we grew up together.
They all said that she was less than 2 years old and did not understand the world.
But she recognized me. Every day when I was out of school, she would sit on the steps in front of me and wait for me.
When you see me, you will smile sweetly.
If I were at home, my sister wouldn't let my mother feed her, and only when I took the dishes would she be quiet and gulp down.
My mom couldn't finish feeding in half an hour, I could do it in five minutes.
Actually, it's not just about eating.
My sister likes to stick to me in everything she does.
Bathing likes to let me wash her, and sleeping likes to burrow into my bed. Her favorite game is to let me take her hand and walk around the house.
Walk from the living room to the bedroom and from the bedroom back to the living room.
Back and forth, a route, she would never tire.
It's like her life of being stranded.
06
I don't remember when I started to understand my sister's heartache.
As I grew older, my world became richer and richer. And the sister always curled up in this little home, being the little rabbit who couldn't speak.
The greatest pleasure she could perceive was sitting in front of the TV listening to music, or sitting in front of the window and listening to the sound of cars passing by.
All my resentments, in the face of her closed life, are not worth mentioning.
In my second year of high school, my grades slipped badly for a while.
The psychological pressure is overwhelming.
In a small examination, the score ranking broke through the record low, and I was extremely frustrated.
I remember that day after dinner, my mother went to wash the dishes, and I sat on the couch, annoyed and mournful.
My sister sat next to me, silly watching the TV.
I leaned weakly against her. As if she knew I wanted to lean on, my sister straightened her back hard.
I lay on top of her for more than half an hour, and my irritable mood calmed down a lot.
Compared with my sister's life, I didn't have any right to die.
07
Since that day, my grades have quickly come back.
I always felt that it was my sister who gave me the strength.
Speaking of which, I borrowed my sister's light to come into this world.
She is the lucky star of my life.
Later, before any exam, I would go to her back for a while.
No matter how much pressure in my heart, it will come down.
It became a little ritual between me and her.
The second year of the college entrance examination, I clearly remember that the title of the essay is the affection of green leaves for the roots.
I had my sister in my head, and I wrote about us.
I'm here for her.
She is my root and I am her leaf. She can't leave the soil of home, and I want to stand taller for her, to see the blue sky, to see the world.
After the exam, I watched various analyses on the Internet and felt as if I was off topic.
Unexpectedly, my Chinese language turned out to be the highest score in the class.
I think this is the luck that my sister gave me.
08
I went to Shanghai in college. Graduated and interned in Shanghai.
I wanted to stay in Shanghai. But my dad insisted that I go back to the civil service exam.
My dad, this man, is very strong, old-school, traditional. It may be that I have been a leader for a long time and am used to saying one thing and not two.
I was going to deal with him, naked.
I didn't expect to be admitted.
My dad was happy. In his eyes, I want my whole life to be like him, going to work, getting married, holding a golden rice bowl.
But the problem is, there is a sister here, I want to marry, it is not so easy.
As long as you understand the situation in my family a little, you will think of a question - when your parents are old, who cares about your sister?
Everyone is a pingshui meeting, and no one wants to marry a wife and give a burden.
That's how I came to be 25.
My parents began to be anxious and kept arranging blind dates for me.
But the existence of my sister makes me feel inferior and contradictory. I didn't want to cheat on them, but it was embarrassing to talk to strangers about their family affairs as soon as they met.
Slowly, I became famous for my blind date, and rumors about me began to spread in the unit.
09
The simplest is to buy one get one free.
Say marry me, you're going to take my sister home.
It is also said that my sister is genetically ill, and if I have children, I may be like my sister.
More excessive, do not want to mention it. It can only be said that some people are really suitable for reveling in the gutter.
This led me to become more and more resistant to blind dates. The so-called marriage, yellow again and again.
And the more I rejected, the more anxious my dad became.
Because many people were introduced to me through him, after meeting, the other party and the middleman said that I was too cold.
My dad thought I was deliberately working against him.
Since then, there has been no peaceful day in the family.
My mom said your dad cares about you.
Maybe, yes.
But he cared about the way I couldn't afford it.
Almost every time we talked, it ended in a fight.
In fact, we all know in our hearts that the real crux of the problem lies.
But none of us want to mention it, and we dare not mention it.
That year, my sister was almost 30 years old.
But she was still like an ignorant little rabbit, unable to detect the malice of the world.
My dad and I had a lot of arguments, and she just sat in front of the window and watched the view.
The weather was warm, and the sun trickled into her heart, without shadows.
However, I did not expect that there was a harder road ahead for me.
10
In September 2017, my family's nightmare began.
At 9 o'clock in the evening, my father suddenly fell down and could not move his hands and feet.
Fortunately, my house was close to the hospital, and my mother and I worked together to take my father to the hospital.
He suffered a cerebral infarction caused by a stroke and went in with a critical illness notice. My mom signed a lot of letters, and the sign was like ashes.
At two o'clock in the morning, my mother pulled me out of the emergency room.
She shook my hand and said, I'm sorry, kid, Mom and Dad are really going to drag you down. I want to accompany your father in the hospital, and my sister can only rely on you to take care of it.
When she finished, she cried out. And I was already in tears.
I knew our family was going to change.
During that time, my mother was in the hospital day and night.
Every day, I rushed home after work, took my sister to the toilet, and cooked and fed. After washing the dishes, I went to the hospital to see my father. Come back and bathe my sister again, arrange for her to sleep, and then wash clothes and do housework.
All the invitations of colleagues and friends were rejected by me.
Because there are endless things to do every day, the body is extremely tired, the heart is in despair, cold and numb.
I'm so worried about my dad, and I miss my mom.
How many nights, lying in bed and crying, I couldn't stop crying, but I turned over and saw my sister smiling silly at me.
I gently stroked her chubby face, and she reached out and gently stroked me as well.
Suddenly, I thought about it a long, long time later.
Maybe in this life, only my sister can accompany me forever.
11
My dad was in the hospital and lay down for four months.
His life was saved, but he could not move one hand or one foot.
Near the Spring Festival, my dad was out of the hospital.
On the third day after he got home, my mother and I went out to buy New Year goods. I took my mother's hand and leaned on her shoulder.
I said, I finally have a mom again.
My mother also blushed, hugged me and said, these months have been hard for you, take good care of your sister. Thank you baby!
I couldn't help but cry on the main road.
All kinds of tastes in my heart poured out at that moment, and I couldn't suppress it.
Not only grievances, but also fear and confusion, as if my sister and I had been orphans for four months and suddenly had a home again.
At that time, the days that thought it was difficult had finally passed.
Unexpectedly, it was just the beginning.
12
When life returned to normal, my marital problems became a big deal again.
And this time, not only the sister, but also the half-dead father.
The rumor in the unit is no longer marrying one to get one free, it has become marrying one to get two, so no one dares to fall in love with me.
After my father's hands and feet were inconvenient, he became extremely grumpy and more anxious about blind dates.
He mobilized all the relatives and friends around me to introduce me to the object, no matter what the character conditions forced me to meet.
My repulsion, his anger, filled the home with a flammable and explosive atmosphere.
A few months later, I became depressed. There is no perception of pleasure in the heart, only a gray darkness.
I don't argue with my dad anymore. I went on the blind date he arranged. It's just that I don't actively talk to people anymore, and even the response is very brief.
Every day when I came back from work, I sat with my sister.
She couldn't speak, and I didn't have to answer.
The home was eerily quiet.
Finally one day, my mom couldn't stand it. She talked to me and told me not to suppress myself like this anymore. She said, you will get sick if you continue like this.
I said, it's okay, I'll be on a blind date when I'm sick, and you told my dad not to worry.
My mom suddenly started crying. She said, don't misunderstand your dad. He used to think he could shield you from the outside, but now he himself is a burden to you. He's afraid your life will be ruined by him and your sister. He is in such a hurry because he loves you.
I looked at my crying mother, my frozen heart, gradually melting.
13
That's when I tried to understand my dad.
He has always been a proud man. Admitted to university from poor rural areas.
He wants to be strong. Whether in school or unit, we must do our best.
But my sister became his irreparable weakness.
Before my father fell ill, he did everything he could not let my sister's problems affect me. Unexpectedly, now he himself has become a burden to me.
My mom said that he was concerned about chaos.
But I don't think so.
He just felt powerless, like the powerlessness he had felt after he had taken my sister all over the country to hospitals.
He was afraid that he would not be able to save his precious daughter's life.
One of his daughters had been ruined, and he was afraid of the other and would not be happy.
But I want to say, Dad, do you remember what that doctor said to you back then?
He said his sister didn't live to be 8 years old.
Today, my sister is in her 30s.
Your eldest daughter is a miracle.
Please believe that your little daughter will also have such a blessing.
14
I started to help myself, looking for something to cheer myself up.
I took the title exam. Every morning at six o'clock, I would go to the unit to read a book, and then go home after ten o'clock in the evening.
My dad still arranged blind dates for me. My mindset has changed, and so has the feeling of looking at things.
I think of blind dates as expanding my circle of friends.
I told my mom, you and my dad don't think I'm going to be alone in the future. I have a job, an income, and the ability to take care of you and my sister.
To put it bluntly, I am dead set on getting married.
But, like I said, my sister is a miracle, and I will be blessed with her too.
On the days when I was entertaining my blind date, I met Mo Zifeng.
It's 2019. After seeing each other a few times, we felt good about each other. But the more I felt good, the more scared I became.
I plucked up the courage to tell him about the situation at home.
As a result, that night, he sent a message saying that he liked you a lot the first time he met you. I know about your sister. I told my parents too. They say everything is with me, please don't be burdened. I would also like to visit your parents when I have the chance and thank them for raising you so well! May I?
Just a few words, let me stare for several minutes.
He actually knew what I was thinking and what I was afraid of.
The sealed heart wall suddenly cracked open. Something sprouts and blossoms.
15
In 2020, I married Mo Zifeng.
In the first month of marriage, I became pregnant and gave birth to a baby.
The arrival of little life has brought great joy to our family.
Especially my sister, although she doesn't know anything, she is very happy every time she sees my son.
She would caress his little face, and the two of them would clatter at each other, as if they were speaking in a language neither of us could understand.
They all said that my sister didn't know anything about personnel, but I think she used her own way to help me choose happiness.
It's just that happiness is always very short-lived.
While we were all immersed in happiness, my sister was running out of her luck.
16
When I went back to my mother's house to help my sister take a bath, I found that she was lazy.
Always don't want to move.
Slowly, she struggled to walk alone.
At the beginning of this year, my sister suddenly fell and could no longer stand up. Every day, I can only lie in bed, and I am emaciated day by day.
Patches of purple spots and bruises began to appear on her body, and the doctor prescribed hormone medicine.
At first, it still had an effect, but gradually lost its effect.
The doctor said that it is not easy for her to live to this point, and your family members must be mentally prepared.
Mom listened and kept wiping away tears. I wanted to comfort her, but I was so upset that I couldn't open my mouth.
When I became a mother, I understood my mother's heartache and heartache better.
This is a piece of flesh that fell from his body, and every inch is connected to the blood vein.
17
In the last few months, my heart ached so much that I didn't dare to recall it.
My sister is like a doll weathered by time, with many wounds on her body.
My mom spends two or three hours a day bandaging her wounds, and the more she wraps, the more she wraps.
My sister's brittle skin, like my mother's heart, was completely broken.
One morning, I got up and carried my son upstairs to see my sister. Teach him to call him Aunt. My sister lay quietly, as if asleep.
I took her hand under the quilt and said, Sister, you have to be well, you must be well.
Suddenly, she began to gasp for breath, then whimpered, and large tears poured out of the corners of her eyes.
My mother came and helped her to smooth down, saying, Mother knows you are not feeling well, Mother help you.
I've never seen my mom so calm. Tears filled his eyes, but he calmly asked me to take the child downstairs, and the tone could not be questioned.
I suddenly had an ominous premonition, and the heat in my body seemed to be withdrawn.
I stumbled down the stairs and sat on the couch in a daze.
My mind was blank, only to know that tears were soaked in the front of my head.
I don't know how long later, my mother went downstairs, and said to me with a gray face, you go and see your sister.
18
That was my sister and I's last days.
She was quiet, too quiet to be lifeless.
I crouched down in front of her and touched her cheek, slightly cool.
I was so upset that I called her softly, sister, sister...
I wish she could have found me coming, as she had always done, and sat up silly and smiled at me.
But no.
She just lay quietly, motionless.
I knew I was going to lose her soon.
The sister who grew up with me, likes to cling to me, loves me, and gives me luck and blessings, is leaving.
I kissed her on the cheek and helped her tidy up her messy hair on her forehead.
My sister, in fact, is very pretty, with a straight nose and fair skin.
If it wasn't for that accident, she must have been a beauty.
She will also be happy, she will be happy, she will live a long life.
Instead of this, he died weakly, without a trace of memory.
19
My sister left at noon on August 1, 2021.
My dad kept holding her head, crying silently, and no one would let go.
He was really old, so old that he was only stubborn.
According to the rules of our hometown, the elders cannot send the younger generations. All the aftermath is handled only by me and Zi Feng.
My mom hired two aunts to teach us.
On the morning of the cremation, my father pulled the two aunts and said in particular despair that I could not move my hands and feet, which was inconvenient. All the aftermath of the child, please, please.
I listened and burst into tears again.
Dear sister, you are going too fast. Too little time was left for me and my parents.
If there is really reincarnation, please live a healthy and happy life in the next life. Make up for the misfortunes and hurts of this life.
If you can, please drink less Meng Po soup. Remember that your beloved sister, and your parents who love you the most, have always loved you.
If we can, we'll see you in the afterlife.
Please, like in this life, cling to me and rely on me. We are sisters who will never be separated.
PS Xiao Qian said: Bless the sister, but also bless the heroine. The following picture is the narration of the heroine.
