There is such a man, he is withdrawn and reticent. His overly introverted personality left him with few friends, and he often refused invitations to dine with his loved ones, and he did not attend any gatherings or have contact with anyone except to go to church.
He is the male protagonist in the movie "Sex Doll Love": Russ.
Russ is 27 years old, but he is still a little boy who has not grown up. He had lived alone for many years, had forgotten how to communicate with people, and the people around him were accustomed to his silence.
However, Russ's heart is also extremely eager to communicate with others.
I thought he would live a lonely life of going to work every day and leaving work at two o'clock.
The twist in the story takes place on this day.
One day, Russ suddenly ran to his brother Gus's house next to him and said that a girl he met online, Bianca, had come to visit him at home.
Surprised and delighted, the Gus couple later learned that the so-called girl was actually a life-size sex doll ordered online, and the two people were stunned.
Russ treated her like a real girl, talking to her, communicating, and going out to visit with her.
After the brother and sister-in-law went to consult the psychologist Dagmar, they learned that the younger brother's psychology was indeed sick.
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Trauma of the family of origin
Russ's psychological problems actually stemmed from his original family.
When Russ was born, his mother died in childbirth, and his father was devastated, and he loved and hated the son who took the life of his beloved wife. So the father began to close himself off, and the whole family was shrouded in a dark atmosphere of sadness. The brother was frightened by his father's state, and even left Russ and fled the original family.
As a widow, Russ' feelings about his mother are mixed, ranging from guilt to anger. Guilt is because the mother died in childbirth because she gave birth to herself, anger because the mother's death means abandoning him, and this anger is also intensified by the collapse of the father and the escape of the brother.
A small baby, facing a father in grief and a brother in fear, over time, will often produce anxiety and anger.
A young child should have grown up healthily in the love of his parents and family, but Russ did not get the love he deserved from birth, and he only felt neglected and abandoned.
For a long time, in the face of such a family environment, Russ's childhood was spent in loneliness and fear.
Under the trauma of his original family, his heart accumulated and suppressed a mixture of guilt, anxiety, and anger.
Vol.2
The psychological problems that Arise from Russ
Psychologically, From the time of infancy, Laslas did not receive enough support and love from his family, so that he grew up to be 27 years old, and his heart was still in a closed infant state. Therefore, Russ was afraid to touch others and shut himself up, and his symptom was autism.
Infancy is a period when individuals develop a sense of trust and avoid suspicion, and babies cannot speak and therefore express their needs by crying.
If parents can respond to the baby's needs in a timely manner, feeding, changing diapers, and coaxing to sleep in time, the baby will develop a sense of trust in the outside world, which is an important foundation for the healthy development of the baby's psychology.
If babies lack the timely attention and care of their parents, they will feel that the outside world will not give them satisfaction because of their crying, and they will feel anxious and uneasy.
This can affect the child's good attachment relationship with the parents, and even have a potential and profound impact on their personality development.
After Russ was born, his mother died, his father was decadent, his brother fled, and he did not receive the care he needed in infancy, so he had little contact with others, which was a manifestation of autism.
Because his mother's experience made him think that pregnancy was extremely dangerous, in order to avoid this danger, he developed into not being able to communicate normally with young women, but could get along with older mother-type neighbors, help them with things, listen to them, but did not like to be touched, shaking hands and hugging was impossible, and any physical contact would cause him fear.
After Russ's father died, he lived alone, and his brother returned home with his sister-in-law to reunite with him. Russ moved to the garage and refused to live with his brother.
But in fact, Russ longed to be cared for in his heart, and the environment around him drove him out of self-isolation.
First, after his sister-in-law moved back, she gave him the attention and love of a mother, and then, the sister-in-law became pregnant. The motherhood of her sister-in-law drove Russ to imagine that she could find a lover and marry her home.
Secondly, a female colleague in the company likes him, he does not know how to get along, always avoids, but still longs to have a girlfriend in his heart.
Russ's inner longing and avoidance clash violently, on the one hand, he longs to be loved by others, on the other hand, he does not want to hurt himself, he wants to close himself.
In both cases, he activated the "put it into action" self-defense mechanism to alleviate this stressful conflict.
So he bought a sex doll and from then on treated her like his girlfriend Bianca, taking her to dinner, parties, outings, and worship.
He is paranoid and lives in his own fantasy-filled world, and the psychiatrist in the film says that it is also a transitional phase of his recovery, which means that he is beginning to face his own problems and want to change.
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Save Russ, fake it
Russ was undoubtedly pathetic, and the trauma of his native family had left him with autism and paranoia.
However, he was also fortunate that he had a brother and sister-in-law who loved him, who liked his female colleagues, who cared for his small town residents.
After 27 years of closure, Russ finally let the sex doll send a distress signal for him, and it was time to face up to his psychological problems.
Following the advice of the female doctor, in order to help Russ repair his wounds, the town staff fully cooperated and accepted his sex doll. Let Russ slowly transition from contact with the fake doll to the real world.
In addition, Through the sex doll Bianca, Russ slowly lets himself out of the closure and slowly helps him repair his relationship with his mother, father, and brother.
For example, when Bianca was invited around for events, which provoked the feeling of being abandoned by Russ by his mother, he finally broke out. He vented his years-suppressed anger on Bianca, and his heart finally received a happy release.
The release and venting of negative emotions can help patients reduce the impact of trauma and can also help repair the relationship between patients and those involved.
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The role played by the sex doll
In fact, the sex doll Bianca plays a very important role here. Her role is not fixed, but constantly changes with Russ's psychological development.
Self-projection
Self-enclosed Russ tries to deal with the outside world through the sex doll Bianca. Russ believes that the attitude people have toward Bianca is the way they treat themselves.
Therefore, only by unconditionally supporting and affirming bianca's existence can Russ feel accepted by those around him.
The townspeople are very friendly to Bianca and often invite her to her home for dinner. They warmed his heart with kindness and friendliness, allowing him to build a sense of security and the courage to break out of his shell.
Separation of mother and baby
With everyone's full cooperation, Russ broke out of the shell from the autistic infant state and transitioned to the symbiotic infant state. At this point, Bianca is treated as a mother by Russ, and the two are in a close and one relationship. Wherever Russ went, he took Bianca with him and took her to worship his parents, completing the process of psychological separation from his mother and becoming an independent man.
Intimate girlfriend
When Russ's psychology finally grows from a little boy to a man, Bianca can then transform into a girlfriend.
He and Bianca had always maintained a Paratu-like love, he respected her, maintained etiquette, without any intimate gestures, and was a very pure love.
As Bianca's psychology becomes healthier and more mature, his fantasy girlfriend will eventually die.
Watching him at the end of the film, standing in front of the grave where Bianca is buried, boldly inviting the girl he likes, we know that he has finally repaired the trauma caused by his former original family.
Each of us in infancy, if we lack the care and love that should be had during that period, after adulthood, although our bodies have grown up, our psychology is always in the missing stage.
When we become adults, we need to find the missing part of the heart through psychologists and psychological counselors, and make up for it in adulthood, so as to promote our continued growth and maturity.
This is a film that contains love, warmth, inclusion, and understanding.
It allows us to see the truth, goodness and beauty of human nature.
Childhood trauma makes some people have psychological problems in adulthood,
But the inclusion and warmth of those around you can ultimately cure those with psychological problems.
If you have such people around you, please give them more love and understanding.
Because they are just mature and slow, please grow up with them slowly.
Their lives will eventually be on the right track and have the happiness of ordinary people.
END