Former UNITED Nations Secretary-General Dag Hammarskjold once famously said: "It is better to give oneself completely for one than to save the world." ”
Even if a person is great on the outside, he may not be able to get along well with his wife, children or colleagues. Building personal relationships requires more personal cultivation than serving a group. ... The more intimate the relationship, the less difficult it is to maintain. ... One-on-one relationships are the most basic elements of life, and they depend on a noble personality to maintain it, and only the skills of managing people are not enough.
The opposite of the problem is the opportunity
Attitude towards problems. ... Instead, the problem is an opportunity to promote harmony. I think in a relationship of interdependence, the problem represents an opportunity — an opportunity to increase the amount of money in the emotional account.
If parents can see the problems that arise in their children as opportunities to connect feelings, rather than troubles and burdens, then the relationship between the two generations will improve greatly, and parents will be more willing, even eager, to understand and help their children. When a child comes to the table with a question, the parent doesn't shout, "Oh my God, what's going on!" Instead, I thought, "Look, I have another chance to help the child, and our relationship will go further." ”
Just as the body often needs food to stay healthy, so do relationships often need nutrition.
—Steven Covey
Chapter Seven: Habits IV Win-Win Thinking – The Principle of Interpersonal Leadership
Real life requires interdependence, not going it alone, and many of your dreams need to be achieved by working with others, and the win/lose model is the biggest obstacle to this collaboration.
To attain the realm of mutual benefit, one must have enough courage and a good mind to be kind to others, especially with those who harm others and benefit themselves. ... If you can't reach a win-win agreement with the other person, then it's best to give up.
There are three basic characteristics of win-win character. ...... good faith...... ripe...... Contentment
Cultivate and maintain the character of integrity. Maturity is the ability to express one's own emotions and beliefs while being considerate of the thoughts and feelings of others. This is the conclusion of professor Hrand Saxenian's years of research.
Abundance Mentality stems from strong personal values and security. Believing that there are enough resources in the world for everyone to share, we are not afraid to share fame and fortune with others, so as to open up unlimited possibilities, give full play to creativity, and provide a wide range of choices.
Doing good for both sides will give you more. ...... There are still people who refuse to win-win, at this time remember, good gathering and dispersion is also a choice, and sometimes you can choose the lower form of win-win - compromise. ...... Relationships matter.
Without the backing of a win-win character and a win-win relationship, a written agreement would be useless. Only sincere emotional investment can help achieve a win-win situation.
Self-assessment is more motivating. In a culture of high trust, the results of self-assessment are more accurate, because the parties are often the clearest about the actual progress, and self-insight is far more accurate than the observation and measurement of others.
Win-win agreements focus on results, unleash individual potential, maximize synergy, and place equal emphasis on output and capacity.
You get what you encourage.
The problems all stem from the system, not the people. No matter how good a person is in a bad system, there will be no good results. If you want to enjoy the flowers, you must first water them.
They argue that the key to principled negotiations is to distinguish between people and issues, to focus on interests rather than positions, and to create methods that benefit both sides without violating some of the principles or standards agreed upon by both sides.
I recommend that different people and institutions follow these four steps to complete a win-win process:
See things from the other person's point of view. Truly understanding the other person's thoughts, needs, and concerns is sometimes even more thorough than the other person understands.
Second, identify the main issues and concerns (not positions).
Again, make sure that everyone can accept the results.
Finally, find various possible paths to achieve such a result.
As you nurture your win-win mindset, you'll discover one wonderful thing: relationships become easier.
—George Elliott
People who regularly practice a win-win approach cultivate highly trusting relationships. Why? Because they treat each other and care for each other the way they want.
Chapter Eight: Habits V. Knowing Each Other and Understanding Oneself—The Principles of Empathetic Communication
To summarize in one sentence one of the most important principles I've learned in relationships, it would be to know each other and understand oneself – first to seek to understand each other, and then to try to let the other person know themselves. This principle is key to effective interpersonal communication.
Your influence lies in your role modeling and ability to guide, the former is derived from your character, is your true self, other people's comments or how you want others to see you is meaningless, I have clearly understood you in my dealings with you.
Your character is always influential and plays a communicative role. Over time, I will instinctively trust or distrust you as a person and what you do to me.
If you want to develop truly effective interpersonal communication habits, you can't rely on skill alone. First, you need to have a personality that can make others trust and entertain, develop empathic listening skills on this basis, and then build an emotional account to achieve heart-to-heart communication.
Our listening is usually hierarchical. One is to turn a deaf ear and not listen to others at all; the other is to pretend, "Yes! Well! That's right! The third is selective reception, listening only to part of it, usually the chatter of preschoolers will make us take this way; the fourth is concentrating, trying to hear every word. However, very few people reach the fifth level, the highest level– empathetic listening.
Empathetic listening refers to listening for the purpose of understanding, requiring the listener to understand their way of thinking and feelings from the speaker's point of view. ...... Empathy is not Sympathy. The latter is a form of identification and judgment, more suitable for expressing feelings and responding, but it is easy to develop the dependence of the other party. The essence of empathetic listening is not to ask you to agree with the other person, but to understand the other person fully and intellectually.
Empathetic listening is risky. Only when you are ready to be influenced by the other party can you go deep into the stage of empathetic listening, which requires enough security, because at this time you will become very vulnerable. In a sense, this is contradictory, because before you can influence the other person, you have to be influenced, that is, to really understand the other person.
Mediocre salesmen sell products, and outstanding salesmen sell ways to solve problems and meet needs.
We always contact our own experiences when we listen to others, so self-righteous people tend to have four "Autobiographical Response" tendencies:
Value judgment – only accept or not accept the opinions of others.
Get to the bottom of it – probe the privacy of others according to your own values.
Be a good teacher – give advice based on your own experience.
Self-righteousness – measuring the actions and motivations of others based on one's own actions and motivations.
Understand others first. Understanding others before problems arise, before evaluating and judging, and before you express your personal point of view is the most useful habit in effective interdependence.
Chapter Nine: Habits VI Integration and Synergy - The Principle of Creative Cooperation
The basic mentality of integration and synergy is that if a person with considerable intelligence disagrees with me, then the other person's proposition must have a mystery that I have not yet experienced, and it is worth understanding.
The most important thing about working with people is to pay attention to the different psychology, emotions and intelligences of different individuals, as well as the different worlds seen in the eyes of individuals. Communicating with people who see people who are slightly the same is not much of a benefit, and it is necessary to have differences to gain.
Everywhere in nature there is the shadow of integration and synergy. If you plant two plants close together, their roots will be entangled, the soil quality will improve, and both plants will grow more vigorously than when they were separated. Two pieces of wood stacked on top of each other can carry more weight than the sum of the weights they each carried before stacking. One plus one is greater than or equal to three.
The so-called integrated communication refers to opening up the mind, accepting all strange ideas, and contributing one's own insights.
Take risks and be willing to take advantage of the crowd.
Because everything that innovates must be responsible, not afraid of failure, and constantly try, even if it turns out to be wrong in the end. Those who are unwilling to take risks cannot afford such suffering.
The most ideal teaching situation is often on the verge of chaos, and at the same time tests the ability of teachers and students to integrate and integrate.
As long as you muster up the courage to sincerely say what people dare not say, you will always get the corresponding feedback, and the integrated and comprehensive communication will begin.
Combining synergies and creations can make people's blood boil, and the effect of frank communication is incredible. While honesty is often accompanied by risk, it is well worth it because your gains and progress will be incredible.
Combined synergy means that 1+1 equals 8 or 16, or even 1600
Insecure people believe that all people and things should follow their patterns. They always want to use cloning technology to transform others with their own ideas. They don't know that the most valuable thing about relationships is exposure to different patterns. The same is not unity, and consistency does not mean unity, and unity and unity mean complementarity, not the same. The same is uncreative and dull. The essence of integration is to respect differences. ... To achieve integration and synergy in interpersonal relationships, the key is to first achieve the integration of individuals,... The most important thing about working with people is to pay attention to the different psychology, emotions and intelligences of different individuals, as well as the different worlds seen in the eyes of individuals.
The importance of individual differences comes from the education of R. Ves H. Reeves) famous fable "Animal School" can be seen.
One day, the animals decided to set up schools to educate the next generation to meet the challenges of the future. The curriculum offered by the school includes skills such as flying, running, swimming and tree climbing. For ease of management, all animals are required to complete the entire course.
The ducks have first-class swimming skills and good results in flight lessons, but there is no way to run. In order to remedy the situation, I had to strengthen my practice after class, and even gave up swimming lessons to practice running. In the end, the soles of his feet were worn out, and his swimming performance became mediocre. The school can accept mediocre grades, and only the ducks themselves feel that they are not worth it.
The rabbit was at the top of the running class, but he couldn't swim and even had a nervous breakdown.
Squirrels are the best at climbing trees, but the teacher of the flight class must take off from the ground and is not allowed to descend from the top of the tree, which makes him nervous and his muscles twitch. In the end, I climbed the tree to get C, and the running was only Ding and so on.
Eagles are problem children and must be disciplined strictly. In the tree climbing class, he was the first to reach the top of the tree, but insisted on using the most skillful way, ignoring the teacher's request.
By the end of the semester, a strange eel with superb swimming skills, coupled with the ability to fly and run and climb, instead received the highest average score, and also spoke on behalf of the graduating class.
On the other side, gophers protested en masse to protest that the school did not make digging and digging holes compulsory. They first gave their children to badgers as apprentices, and then worked with marmots to set up another school.
Ecology is a good explanation of the phenomenon of integration in nature: everything in the world is closely related, and these relationships can maximize creativity. The relationships in this section are also the power to create a culture of integration in the family or company. The deeper the involvement, the more people invest in analysis and problem solving, the greater the creativity unleashed, and the more accountable they need to be responsible for the final results. I firmly believe that this is the secret of the Japanese's commercial success, and that's how they changed the global market.
Your own synergy is entirely within your circle of influence. You should respect your analytical side and your creative side, and respecting their differences will lead to your creativity.
Even if we are in a disadvantageous situation, we should not give up the pursuit of integration and synergy. Don't care about the rude behavior of others, avoid those negative forces, discover and use the advantages of others, improve your own understanding, and expand your horizons. You should be brave and open in an environment of interdependence by expressing your opinions, emotions, and experiences in an environment that encourages others to be equally honest.
If you can only see two ways or paths to solve the problem – yours and the "wrong", then you can try to find a third path that integrates the synergy, which is generally always there. If you stick to a win-win model and are really willing to try to understand each other, you can find a solution that benefits everyone more.
Everything that irritates us can be an opportunity for us to understand ourselves. The people who bother us the most are also often our best teachers!
Chapter 10 Habit Seven Constant Renewal – The Principle of Balanced Self-Improvement
The most worthwhile investment in life is to hone yourself, because life and service people have to rely on themselves, which is the most precious tool.
Work alone does not bring economic security, and only with good thinking, learning, creativity and adaptability can we stand in an invincible position. Having wealth does not mean economic independence, and the ability to create wealth is truly reliable.
Small things can lead to amazing results, and whenever I think about it, I think there is no small thing in the world.
—Bruce Barton | former U.S. Congressman and advertiser
If you see a lumberjack in the forest who has worked hard for 5 hours to saw a tree, exhausted but with limited progress, you would certainly advise him:
"Why not pause for a few minutes and sharpen the saw?"
The other party replied: "I don't have time, the saw tree is too late, where is the time to grind the saw?"
Habit seven is personal productivity. It protects and optimizes the most important asset you have – yourself. It renews your nature on four levels: physical, mental, intellectual, and social/emotional.
In order to improve efficiency, we must recognize the importance of regularly "sharpening the knife" from four levels.
The physical dimension refers to the effective care of our bodies – healthy eating, adequate rest and regular exercise.
The heart is a muscle, but it cannot be exercised directly, only by exercising large muscle tissues (especially the leg muscles), so brisk walking, running, cycling, swimming, cross-country, skiing and jogging are of great benefit to the body.
The ideal is to try to increase your heart rate to at least 60% of the maximum pulse rate. The highest pulse frequency is the maximum speed of the heartbeat when the whole body is supplied with blood, usually equal to 220 minus your age. ...... "Training Effect" refers to reaching 72% to 87% of your maximum heart rate.
"Steven, almost all the benefits of exercise come from the final stages. I wanted to build strength, and I had to wait until the muscle fibers were broken and the nerve fibers felt painful, because that's when the natural mechanisms overreposed them, and the fibers became tougher after 48 hours. ”
Adhere to the principle of physical health as a guide to action
Spiritual renewal guides you in the direction of life, some people achieve spiritual renewal by appreciating excellent literary or musical works, and others achieve the same goal by communicating with nature. My approach is to read and think carefully about the Bible every day because it embodies my value system, and every time I feel transformed, refreshed, confident, and determined to serve others. Nature blesses those who are immersed in nature.
As long as you think you are serving others, you can do a good job. If it is for self-interest, it cannot be so successful. This is the unchanging truth.
Religious leader David O. Mckay said, "Every day the greatest war of life is fought in the chambers of the soul. "If you can win these wars and calm down your inner contradictions and conflicts, you will feel a sense of peace and realize the true meaning of life." Naturally, you will achieve public sphere success by working collaboratively for the benefit of others.
Most of us derive our intellectual development and learning habits from formal education. But once we are freed from the discipline of school, many people's minds degenerate: they no longer read seriously, no longer explore new worlds outside the body, no longer think attentively, no longer write, at least no longer pay attention to writing, no longer use it as a test of our ability to express ourselves accurately and concisely. Instead, we spend our time watching TV.
Active people have the ability to explore countless ways to educate themselves. ...... Developing the habit of regularly reading good literature is the best way to expand your mind, which is a second quadrant affair that gives people access to the greatest ideas of the moment or history. I highly recommend that you start by reading one book a month, then one book every two weeks, followed by one book per week. "People who don't read are no different from illiterates."
Literary masterpieces, Harvard classics, celebrity autobiographies, National Geographic and other publications are very good literary works that can enrich our cultural knowledge, and contemporary literature in different fields can help us expand our thinking and improve our intelligence. If we can practice habit five when reading, we will do more with less; otherwise, if we have not really understood the author's original intention, we will make an early judgment based on our own experience, and we will do half the work.
Another effective way to sharpen your mind is to write. By constantly recording our thoughts, experiences, insights and learning experiences, our thinking will be clearer, more accurate and coherent. Being able to communicate thoughts, feelings, and ideas with others in depth when writing letters, rather than superficially staying on the surface of things, also helps us improve our ability to think, reason, and gain understanding from others. ...... Organization and planning are two other ways to sharpen the mind in relation to habit two and habit three,...... "Sharpen the knife" for an hour every day, practice what you preach, and persevere.
As for ways to enhance inner security, these include: sticking to principles and affirming oneself; being kind to others, believing that there are more than two choices in life, but also the third possibility of both sides being winners; being willing to give and serve the crowd; and burning oneself and illuminating others. If work is regarded as a kind of dedication, even ordinary occupations will appear extraordinary.
The English writer George Bernard Shaw says: "This is true happiness, that is, being used for a goal that you think is powerful." That is, to be a force of nature, not a fanatical, selfish, mentally disturbed and whiny fool who complains that the world does not make you happy. My view is that my life belongs to the whole society, and as long as I live, I will dedicate everything I can to it, which is my honor. Hopefully, when I die, I will exhaust everything for society, because the harder I work, the longer I will live and be happier for life itself. In my opinion, life is not a short candlelight. It is a brilliant torch, and I am not only holding it now, but also burning as brightly as possible before passing it on to future generations.
Everyone is a small mirror of society, reflecting the ideas, judgments and patterns of the people around them, everyone knows their image in the eyes of the people around them from the mirror, and the mirror of society is determined by the public opinion, cognition and thinking of the people around them. As part of an interdependent relationship, we all have a subconscious mind that we are part of the big mirror of society.
We can choose to clearly and truly reflect the image of others, affirm their enthusiasm and responsibility, help them change their behavior patterns, and become principled, judgmental, independent and valuable individuals. Contentment makes us realize that reflecting a positive image of others does not demean ourselves, but rather makes us stronger because it increases our chances of interacting effectively with other activists.
The better we are at unlocking the potential of others, the more we can use our imagination in our spouses, children, co-workers, or employees, rather than our memories.
Goethe said, "With a man's present performance, he will not grow." With his potential and expectations of achievement, he will certainly live up to expectations. ”
Self-improvement and perfection is a principle and a process, a process of spiraling between growth and transformation, a process of continuous self-improvement.
Exercising nerves and muscles is essential for good athletes, training the mind is essential for academics, and developing conscience is essential for highly effective people who are active in the world. Cultivating conscience requires a more focused spirit and more comprehensive training, as well as a consistent and honest life; regular reading of inspirational literature, noble sentiments, and most importantly, following our conscience when it is not yet ripe.
Junk food and lack of exercise can ruin athletes' health. Similarly, something obscene, vulgar, or pornographic can plunge our souls into darkness, weakening our judgment and leaving us unconcerned with right and wrong (a natural and sacred conscience) and only whether we will be exposed by our "social conscience."
Dag Hammarskjold said: Sooner or later those who play with inner bestiality will become real beasts; those who cheat all day will eventually lose the right to the truth; and those who are tyrannical will have a diminishing judgment of their minds. If you really want to keep the garden tidy, you can't let the weeds have a foothold.
There are no shortcuts to self-cultivation inspiration. The law of harvesting always plays a dominant role - planting melons to get melons, planting beans to get beans, no more and no less.
Make a list of activities that you really feel enjoyed. You won't make any progress from your own fatigue and boredom. You are going to activate your potential!
Keep in mind that the occasional indulgence is actually good for you. It stimulates endorphins, which can relieve pain sensations and have a beneficial effect on mood. It's a kind of contentment that you don't have to put down the weapon of self-discipline, just relax. Indulging in it helps to control your desires without turning them into a carnival.
Chapter 11: Again on making oneself from the inside out
God acts from the inside out, and the earthly works from the outside in; the earthly world lifts the world out of poverty, Jesus first frees the world from inner poverty, and then they themselves get rid of poverty; the earthly world creates man by changing the environment, and Jesus creates the environment by changing man; the earthly world shapes man's behavior, and Jesus changes the essence of man.
—Ezra Taft Benson | former secretary of the U.S. Department of Agriculture
There is a distance between stimulation and response, and the key to growth and happiness is how we use that distance. ...... I can choose or even change the way I respond, and I can choose to accept or at least influence the stimulus. This inner sense of freedom ecstatically delights me.
One is "don't ask the truth": no matter which person shows the most vulnerable side of the heart, the other person must not pursue the root cause, but must try to understand the other party, otherwise it will appear too aggressive, overbearing and rigid. So while we are eager to learn as much as we can, we come to realize that we must choose the right time for both parties to pour out their minds.
Second, when the topic is too sharp or painful, we must stop in time, later or the next day, wait until the parties are willing to talk.
Seemingly trivial small things often also originate from unforgettable emotional experiences, if you only look at the surface, without digging into the deep sensitive issues, it is tantamount to trampling on the sacred soil in the other person's heart.
We believe that the secret to keeping love fresh is to talk, especially to discuss each other's feelings. We try to communicate several times a day, even when I'm on the go, and it makes me feel happy, safe, and cherished, like coming home.
We've tried outside-in. We love each other and want to overcome differences by controlling our attitudes and behaviors and relying on effective interpersonal communication skills, but this is only a temporary measure and has limited effect. Only by starting from the most basic modes of thinking and behavior can we eradicate long-term potential problems.
Rules must be carefully crafted and led by example, and the spiritual legacy based on the right principles must be passed on to future generations.
There is a supernatural force in the harmonious families of generations. An effectively interdependent family of relatives creates a powerful force that helps people to understand themselves, family origins and inherent principles.
Harmonious families of generations may imply the most productive, rewarding, and satisfying interdependence, and many can feel the importance of such relationships.
"There are only two kinds of eternal heritage that we can give to our children and grandchildren – roots and wings."
Giving "wings" to children and others means giving them freedom, freeing them from the negative patterns of behavior passed down from previous generations, and making them "transitioners."
A trend that has been perpetuated for generations in your family can put an end to you here. You are a transformationist, connecting the past and the future, and your own changes can affect many people in future generations.
As Amiel said: True change is achieved from the inside out, and it is not enough to use the technique of charisma to make some superficial efforts in attitude and behavior, but to fundamentally change the ideological structures and behavior patterns that determine our personality and worldview.
The highest, most beautiful, and sweetest fruit that comes out of the seven habits is to work together, to unite oneself, oneself, one's lover, one's friends, and one's colleagues.
We also sometimes make mistakes and feel embarrassed because of it. However, as long as we start with "daily success in the personal field" and work from the inside out, we will always achieve results. And the process of sowing, weeding, and cultivating itself can make us feel the joy of growth until we taste the sweet fruits of a happy life.
Emerson's famous quote: "With our tireless efforts, things become solvable, not because the nature of the task has changed, but because our capabilities have increased." ”
Life will not be orderly. No matter how hard we try to keep our lives organized, accidents always happen: love, death, injury, disaster from the mouth.
- Natali Goldberg
You've done so much and still feel stuck, stuck, and not restored or updated at all. This is not uncommon.
A self-improvement program
Low-key start: Start with a list of activities you'd love to do. Never try to learn any esoteric theoretical philosophy from the beginning! Find something that really appeals to you. It's going to be a good start soon!
◆ Perseverance: Any activity, if you have already participated in it and feel effective, then keep doing it. There is no need to do any new tricks again.
◆ Don't worry: try out ideas and experiments until you find the right combination of activities that work for you. Don't forget, you can combine activities designed for different purposes and kill two birds with one stone!
Don't let yourself burn out: If your daily schedule is filled with updates, you'll become tired instead of energized. Be tolerant of yourself, this is not something that can be done quickly, it is not a matter of "hurrying to the chapter".
Constant adjustment: Few programs are permanently valid. Times are moving forward, and so are your interests and abilities. You must constantly adjust your plan to update the activities in your plan.
Be self-conscious: Your hobbies, dislikes, and personal style all help you plan activities so that your potential for recovery and renewal can be fully unleashed.
Splurge on fresh flowers once in a while. Fresh flowers can give your home a new look and are fragrant and refreshing. Even a bouquet of daisies in a vase can bring tranquility and serenity.
◆ Play a beautiful piece of music. It can change your mood and help you relax, recuperate and renew.
◆ Prepare a clean-up box. Put the messy things in the house temporarily into the cleaning box and clean it up later. The clean rooms make your environment peaceful and tranquil.
create. Sometimes we are afraid to express ourselves, to leak evidence that our thoughts and emotions are perceived. Create a little, even if it's just some crayon drawings.
fascinated. What we have is often what we intentionally have.
demand. If you have never felt the discomfort of thirst, your body will dry up completely. You should respect your inner needs as you would if you were thirsty. What are the inner needs? What do you want? Drink water when you feel thirsty. Try to find a way to meet this need. Then listen to the next need of the heart. Meeting your inner needs is about adding nourishment to your soul.
◆ Desire. Just as we neglect our inner needs, we often ignore our inner desires. Desire is more urgent than need. If you crave rest, rest. If you're eager to laugh, laugh for no reason. If you crave love, cultivate inner love.
Doing nothing is nothing, even an important part.
Postscript
All organizational actions are individual actions,
Interdependence is 10 times harder than independence. To insist on self-interest (win-win) when the other party insists on harming others (I win and you lose), try to understand others when you are eager to understand in your heart, and seek a better third choice when compromise is easy to achieve, you need extremely strong mental and emotional independence.
Integrity is a higher level of value than loyalty. More specifically, integrity is the highest form of loyalty, and integrity means centering on principles (rather than people, organizations, or even families).
A good way to do this is to get others to trust you instead of liking you. Trust and respect will eventually produce love.
There is a world of difference between high-level habits and low-level habits. Proactiveness in the initial stage may simply mean noticing the distance between the stimulus and the response; in the second stage of the higher stage it involves choices, such as not trying to retaliate or leveling; in the third stage of the higher level, to respond; on the fourth stage, to ask for forgiveness; on the fifth stage, to forgive the other person; in the sixth stage, to forgive the parents; in the seventh stage, to forgive the deceased parents; and in the eighth stage, not to be angry at all.
Applying these principles takes time, patience and perseverance. The real test of success is long-term, and a few words cannot describe the exact situation.
Each plane often deviates from the course, but keeps coming back to the right course and eventually arrives at its destination. The same is true for all of us individuals, families or organizations, and the key is "starting with the end", working together on regular feedback and line adjustments.
Stan Davis put it: "When the foundation changes, everything crumbles." ”
Albert Schweitzer teaches children three basic rules: one leads by example, two leads by example, and three leads by example. ...... I would say that one is to lead by example, the other is to build a relationship of care and appreciation, and the third is to teach them the simple ideas contained in these habits in the language of their children—to help them grasp the basic meaning and vocabulary of the seven habits, to tell them how to use the principles to analyze their experiences, and to let them identify specific principles and habits that arise in life.
Unlike rocks that fall from a roof, we are able to choose whether to jump or not to jump. We are conscious people, so we are not dragged around by external forces and sit still. As human beings, we are endowed with consciousness, imagination, self-consciousness, and independent will, all of which are gifts that animals do not possess. We can distinguish between good and bad and judge our own behavior from an objective point of view. We can imagine what life we want to create in the future, rather than getting caught up in the memories of the past.
We want to love but don't want to take responsibility, we want to succeed but we don't want to give, we want slim figures and we are not ready to give up food. In other words, we want to get what we can never get: the corresponding benefits without shaping good character.
The most terrible thing about being stolen is not that someone stole your wallet or credit card, but that we forget who we are. We begin to believe that people have value and identity only when compared to others; we forget that everyone has infinite value and potential, and there is no need to compare at all. Similar thefts often occur in a cultural context where people are looking for shortcuts rather than paying for genuine success. In front of family, friends, and colleagues, we often struggle to establish an image, when people find a mirror that can be imitated, they will lose themselves; they will care more about the image than their real selves, so people will become slaves to the social mirror. His identity and value will depend on the outside world.
Why do the "Seven Habits" keep influencing people's lives? I think it helps people recognize their best selves and play out.
You are in charge of your own life and responsible for your own choices. No one but you can make you think, do, or face things that you don't choose out of your own will.
Life is a team game, and it is necessary to learn to rely on each other and cooperate in unity, which is one level higher than going it alone.
I have two pieces of advice about changes in life. The first key advice is to follow your conscience.
What should I do in my current life to achieve the most positive results? Please think carefully. What comes to mind? Now let's ask another question: What should I do in my current work to achieve the most positive results? Again, pause, think, dive in to find the answer. If you do this, by listening to the voices of conscience, wisdom, self-awareness in your heart, you will find the key.
What does life need me to do now? ...... Self-life is a place where we want to look at inner motivation and deepest desires. I highly recommend self-living. Conscience grows beneficially in this land, because here our state is perfect for listening.
The second key piece of advice is to change your role. As I often say, if you want more change in your life, start with your behavior. But if you want to make a big difference, work on the way you think and the way you see and understand the world.
Which of the "seven habits" is the most important? My answer is that the habits you develop when you overcome your greatest difficulties are the most important, and use your self-awareness and conscience to perceive which habits need to be paid the most attention. Often, the best way to change is to choose a habit, put in the energy for something related to it, and stick to it, and slowly, you'll find that both your self-discipline and self-confidence will improve.
People are willing to spend hundreds of hours thinking about the details of their work strategies, but they are reluctant to spend hours planning how to strengthen their ties with their families.
Teach them to welcome rather than be wary of people who are different from them;
The most important work you want to accomplish is before the individual, not after. Your commitment to your work should gradually expand and deepen. Retirement is a misconception. You can retire from your job, but never stop meaningful projects and activities.
The main thrust of this book is not the habits of low-performing people, but the habits of highly effective people. And high performance is originally an ideal to be strived for and to be realized.