Fei Ge and the Little Buddha is a family anime sitcom produced by Disney.
The story mainly revolves around the children's summer vacation life. Fei Ge and Little Buddha are two highly creative boys who like to put their fantastic ideas into action. Every day, they're creating all sorts of weird things like building roller coasters in their backyards, building haunted houses, and even inventing giant robots.
However, the family also has a "love to complain" sister Katis.
"Mom! Mom! Fei Ge and Little Buddha build a roller coaster in the backyard! ”
"Mom! Mom! Fei Ge and Little Buddha have a concert in the backyard! ”
As the boss, Katis always yells to prove to her mother Linda that her brothers are doing amazing things every day, and then let them be scolded for their bold behavior, but every time the brothers create something will disappear out of thin air, even they don't know where the things they made have gone, which makes Katis jump at the end of each episode.
The childlike and nonsensical plot always makes people laugh, and what makes me think is that Katis's mother Linda's attitude towards the family education of her daughter who loves to complain.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >1. Do not have a headache for the child's "love complaint"</h1>
In the face of Katis's endless complaints, Linda always listened patiently, and even rushed home with great interest under Katis's description. But whenever she rushed home, the things katis described in her mouth disappeared without exception.
But she was never impatient, and often teased her when she received a call from her daughter: "What did your brother do today?" He would even say to himself when Katis wasn't on the phone: "How come Katis hasn't called today until now?" ”
She never tried to interfere with her daughter's particular "fetish", and every time she was dragged home by Katis in a hurry and saw the empty backyard, Linda always asked everyone tolerantly: "Do you want to come in for a snack?" ”
Once, she also secretly told her husband Lawrence: "These acts of Katis have been recorded in my diary as comedy." ”
Compared with the headaches of most parents on the children who "love to complain", she did not lose the slightest patience for Katis's behavior, but took these strange "attachments" of her daughter as a spice for life.
Linda did not do this to ridicule Katis, but because she never thought that her supplicant daughter was a problem teenager.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >2.Love complaint is the nature of children, how to resolve disputes is what parents should think</h1>
Some people may wonder, love to sue is not a problem child? Why allow Katis to file a complaint every day without stopping her?
As mentioned earlier, children are always "growing up with the trend", and everyone has done incredible things in their own adolescence, as long as they do not touch the moral bottom line, they should be understood.
Some psychological surveys have shown that "love to complain" is actually the nature of children, without any malice.
Teacher Xu Jin of Family Heart Education once said: Love complaints are more obvious in early childhood, which is a normal phenomenon of psychological development and interpersonal development in a stage, and this phenomenon will naturally decrease and disappear with age. A complaint is a way for a child to gradually begin to interact with people, begin to communicate and express.
There is a reason to say that children love to complain is normal.
Reason one: Attract attention
Children's world is only parents or teachers, and their nature is to want to get the attention of parents and teachers. Especially in multiple-child families, older children may be snubbed because of the limited energy of their parents, even if the parents do not intend to do it, but in reality, many times they cannot take care of their children's feelings.
Children are actually very sensitive to the processing of information, and they think that it is easier for complaints to attract the attention of parents.
However, everything pays attention to moderation, the drama effect in the anime is more exaggerated, if the child's complaint in real life is as persistent and frequent as Katis, mothers should pay special attention, is it not enough attention to the child?
Reason two: Children have a non-clear worldview
In children's values, they have their own ideas: right is right, wrong is wrong, they can't ignore the behavior that is different from their concept of right and wrong, which requires parental guidance.
The whimsical Pai Fei Ge and the Little Buddha, and the conservative Katis they are two types of children in the family, either of which should be understood. In Katis's view, although the works of Fei Ge and Little Buddha are interesting, they are too advanced, and as a sister, she cannot ignore the hidden dangers in creativity.
She complained to her mother, not to hurt anyone, but to express her true thoughts and feelings, so that the problem could be solved.
Therefore, we can not easily label children as "love to play small reports", the ability to question and different values are each child's own unique personality.
Reason three: evasion of punishment
Some families have strict tutors, and children will be blamed by their parents after they do something wrong. Just as everyone's hand will retract when it touches the tip of a needle, this is a naturally occurring reflex reaction, and the child knows that he has done something wrong, but sometimes hopes to escape the parent's punishment by "filing a complaint" one step ahead of others.
Although the Katis family advocates the education of free growth in Western countries, she will still be grounded when she does something wrong, and this small punishment can not only serve as a warning to education but also not hurt the feelings of children. But precisely because the Lindas rarely punished, Katis saw this as a bad encounter.
So she is always doing her best to "expose" her brothers. To some extent, she was nervous about whether her parents would blame her, the biggest in the family, when what Fei Ge and Little Buddha had created made things uncontrollable.
Based on these three kinds of psychology, parents should clarify the situation and be patient when facing their children's complaints in real life.
In Katis's house, it seems that only as the eldest sister, she is addicted to complaints, but her brothers are very tolerant of her. This is not very realistic in real life, "one slap does not make a sound", and the dispute is often generated in the pull of two children.
When the phenomenon of complaint occurs, parents should remain calm even in the face of disputes, objectively analyze the problem, and comprehensively and meticulously investigate the reasons for the occurrence of the incident. And with impartiality to judge, resolve contradictions and conflicts, what parents should do at this time is not to let the balance tilt to either side, the most important part is to let the children coordinate and negotiate peace.
Similar to the argument that "the big should let the small" must not be used as a criterion for judging at this time, because preaching is on the one hand, who is right and who is wrong is the result that the child cares about the most, which is a very important link in the formation of the child's concept of right and wrong, and it is very irresponsible to draw conclusions at will.
All disputes arising from complaints should be handled by parents: first distinguish between right and wrong, and then talk about courtesy.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >3</h1>
Katis is not a "bad" girl, although she loves to sue, but her sense of responsibility for the family and love for the family is deeply rooted in her mind.
It wasn't that she hadn't been given the opportunity to teach her brother a lesson.
In one of the episodes: On Feige's birthday, Katis gets a CD that records everything they built. She happily rushed home with the disc, and on the way she encountered many places that would damage the disc, but she cleverly avoided them one by one.
When she thought she had finally succeeded, she heard Feige's birthday speech, and Feige's praise for her family made her cry out tearfully: "I can't do this on Feige's birthday." Then she broke the disc with a wrench.
There are many more such examples, and although Katis is committed to teaching her brothers a lesson with a complaint, she never allows them to be hurt in any way, and always stands up at the side of her brothers at critical moments.
This sense of unity and protection is formed in the tolerance of her parents, and the formation of this good family atmosphere is indispensable to Linda.
She never used such words as "you are annoying" and "don't sue" to perfunctory or ridicule the child. In one episode, Linda also complains about the unsuccessful complaint, and a frustrated Katis says, "Let's go out and relax and distract you." ”
Her gentle words and correct guidance are the keys to educational success.
Linda has a certain amount of patience with Katis, and when Katis is too persistent, she will persuade her daughter to do crafts with her and shop to distract Katis. If Katis didn't put much effort into researching what her brother was doing, Linda would encourage and praise Katis.
This kind of gradual guidance can achieve silent moisturizing.
As parents, in many cases, patience is more powerful than harshness, and appreciation is more motivating than criticism. It is not wise to blindly deal with the problem of children according to their own emotions and ideas, and it is possible to think that they have mediated everything, but in fact, they may do the opposite.
"Dripping water through stones, better than heavy rain, and good intentions, silent subliminality." This is the true meaning of education.