"Loved You" | Your fourth confession

The first time I brought Charlie home, my mother yelled hysterically at me and Charlie, frightening me into hiding Charlie.

Every medical student also has a skeleton, I don't know if anyone else will give them a name for that skeleton, my Charlie was a man when he was born, and you know it when you look at his bones. Since I wanted to be with him often in the future, I decided to give him a name—a kind and warm name. With that name, Mom and Wo wo won't be afraid of him, and he won't look so scary; then, I think of Charlie Brown, the protagonist of Peanuts Comics.

Charlie Brown is a kind and optimistic hapless ghost, he has a crush on the red-haired girl, but he never dares to confess, he is also the owner of the beagle Snoopy. Ever since I called him Charlie, Mom and Wo wo didn't seem to resist him so much, but still insisted that Charlie stay in my bedroom. Once, I secretly put Charlie in the doorway of the nest, she got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and as soon as she opened the door, she saw Charlie, who refused to talk to me for two weeks.

Wo Wo used to say that I was the most abnormal person in the family, and I was very surprised by her "insight", and she actually thought that her mother, who often yelled, was more normal than me. She said that I was a lonely child at heart, and her "insight" may be right about this. After all, I was the sister I grew up with, and although I was not a meticulous person, she knew me.

Sometimes, there are things that can't be said to others, and I will tell Charlie that he only has a thousand-year-old expression, which is why I like him, and he doesn't criticize me. I read the names and locations of every bone in his body, and he could see through it at a glance, and his complicated skull accompanied me through many long nights of lying down, and I was even so tired that I slept with his skull in my arms. He is my close comrade-in-arms, and he is the one who can keep secrets for me. Isn't there often the following classic dialogue in underworld movies?

"Only the dead can keep secrets."

Charlie was the first to know that I liked Cheng Fei.

When Xu Jizhi was in the hospital, he once told me that girls like to play with Cheng Fei, and when I heard Li Luo say the same, I suddenly hated this person a little.

But that kind of hate is not the hate of gritting teeth, but the hate of sour nose, and then tell yourself that this person is unreliable, don't believe him, don't have any illusions and expectations for him.

But the first morning light of two thousand years, I watched with him.

Chinese New Year's Eve at the party on the roof of the boys' dormitory that day, after everyone wished each other well, Xu Jizhi was sent back to the room to sleep, and before going downstairs, he specially said Happy New Year to me again, saying that we will see you next time. He had always been a thoughtful boy.

Xu Jizhi went to sleep, I drank with Li Luo and Su Yang until midnight, I tried to find Cheng Fei's figure several times, he did not know where to run. I was a little angry that he had left me alone, but I quickly laughed at myself that I wasn't who he was, and he invited me to the party, but had no responsibility to take care of me.

I made an appointment with Li Luo and Su Yang to move to a new house and left the dormitory alone.

When I walked out of the dormitory, I finally saw Cheng Fei, who was playing basketball with the big and small long faces on the basketball court outside the dormitory. I was standing on the side of the road waiting for the car, and he saw me, dropped the ball in his hand and ran over. At that moment, I was probably secretly smiling in my heart.

"Are you leaving?"

I nodded, "It's late. ”

"It's not easy to take a taxi at this point." He said.

"Then I'll walk back, I live in the West Loop, not far from here."

"This area is very quiet, the mountain road is dark, I will send you, there are many snakes, insects, rats and ants on the side of the mountain, and maybe there are wild boars."

"You know I'm not afraid."

"But I'm afraid." He said.

I laughed and said, "Why are you afraid you sent me?" ”

"It's too dangerous for a girl to walk down the mountain in the middle of the night, I send you, encounter snakes, insects, rats and ants, you protect me, how do you see?"

"Deal." I say.

Cheng Fei grinned like a child, "You wait for me." ”

With that, he walked over to the edge of the court and picked up his blue blazer and put it on, ran back to me and said, "Let's go." ”

Big and small long faces waved their hands toward us to say goodbye. We walked down the narrow mountain road, and along the way we didn't find snakes, insects, rats, and ants, it was winter, even if there were snakes, they were all hibernating, and there were no wild boars, only the rustling of the wind and the sound of cars passing by by.

"Are you going to work today?" Cheng Fei asked me.

"Yes, but you can go home and sleep for a while."

"You're in the emergency room this month, aren't you?"

"No, it's not."

"Didn't you say that day that you were transferred to the emergency room for an internship starting this month?"

I laughed and said, "I lied to you that day, the intern doctors will not be sent to the emergency room, the emergency room is full of formal doctors." However, I am going to this department now, and you may also come. ”

Cheng Fei guessed that I would tease him and tilted his head to look at me: "Psychiatry is it?" ”

I smiled and shook my head, "No. ”

"Obstetrics and gynecology?"

I smiled and shook my head again: "What are you going to do in obstetrics and gynecology?" You're not a woman. ”

"Not the forensic department, right?"

I laughed, "I'm not so dark-hearted, it's surgery, and I'll be transferring to surgery this month." So, in case you have a stomachache and you find out it's appendicitis, the emergency room will still send you to surgery and then the surgeon will do the surgery, and maybe I'll be there. ”

Cheng Fei sighed twice, "Why do you always want me to have appendicitis?" Do you like my appendix very much? ”

"Whether your appendix is cute enough for me to like, I don't know, I'm a doctor because I like to have appendicitis surgery." 」 I couldn't stop laughing.

After laughing, I said seriously, "If I say I want to hang the pot to save the world, isn't it very earthy?" ”

Cheng Fei nodded, "It's very earthy." ”

"What if I say I want to cure someone else's illness?"

"It's not so dirty."

"It's still a bit dirty, so I won't say that, I'll just say I think it's cool to be a doctor."

"This is also dirt." Cheng Fei said.

"Oh my God, how do you have to say that you are not dirty?"

"Let's just say it's because you like to have appendicitis surgery, which is not dirty."

We both laughed.

Then I said:

"My dad was a salesman in a pharmaceutical factory, and their company's drugs were not sold to ordinary people, but to hospitals and clinics, and when I didn't have to go to school, my dad used to take me to different hospitals and clinics, and every time I would sit on the side and wait for him, and watch the doctors come in and out, wearing white coats, with stethoscopes around their necks, looking great, great, and once I just saw a doctor helping a patient, probably from that time on, I also wanted to be a doctor." 」

"Is it really not because I like to have appendicitis surgery?"

"Haha, of course not, I haven't had any surgery so far, and I'll have a chance to see it when I go to surgery." What about you? What are your plans after graduation? ”

"I didn't think about it that much, I got a student visa, and if I can't find a job within a year, I can't stay, and then I'll go somewhere else."

"Where to go?" Back to Anhui? It was dark, and Cheng Fei didn't see the look of disappointment on my face.

He kicked a small pebble off the road and said, "No, it's good to go anywhere, ah, Cuba is not bad." ”

"Cuba?"

He nodded, "Go to Havana for the Mojito and Dequilli that Hemingway likes to drink." ”

"These wines are sweet to death." I say.

"If you like Hawa, then stay and open a small Chinese restaurant in the old city, selling Gollum meat and Yangzhou fried rice, foreigners like to eat these, ah... It also sells spring rolls, pot stickers, burnt cakes, fried noodles and white cut chicken. ”

"Cubans don't like white-cut chicken." I say.

"Sell it to Chinese tourists." Then marry a Cuban beauty, she is in charge of the shop, I sit in front of the restaurant smoking cigars, I heard that Cuba has a cigar named Romeo and Juliet, I will smoke that. ”

"Never heard of a beautiful woman in Cuba." I say.

"Hey... Why do you always say cuba is not good? Have you ever been to Cuba? ”

"Nothing. Why do you always say Cuba is good? Have you been there? ”

"Nothing."

"That's it."

Cheng Fei looked at me and said, "Are you... Don't want me to go to Cuba? ”

My heart fluttered and I said slyly, "I really don't think cuba is any better." ”

"For me, it's the same everywhere, I'm used to it, I never had a home." Cheng Fei smiled and said, but that smile was not heartfelt.

"If you want to go, go to some nice place, Cuba is very hot." I say.

Cheng Fei grinned, "However, you can eat Koperia ice cream in Cuba, and it is said that it is one of the best ice creams in the world." ”

"It is said that it was because it took a long time to queue up to eat."

"Do you have a feud with Cuba?"

"If there's a place to wait in line for two hours for a pot sticker, you'd say it's the best pot sticker in the world."

"That must be the pot sticker I'm going to sell in the store in the future."

"Talk as if you're going to make pot stickers, will you?"

"Not now, I'll learn it later." Cubans have never seen a pot sticker, not even if the pot sticker is round and flat, and it is almost enough to do it. ”

"Didn't you say you were going to sell it to Chinese tourists?"

"Then tell them it's a Cuban pot sticker."

"I'm worried about your restaurant's business like that."

"The world is so big, if you can't mix in Cuba, then think of a way." If I had a restaurant, my restaurant would always have a table for you, and I would invite you to eat for the rest of your life, and if you didn't have any food, you would come to Cuba and find me. ”

I was touched in my heart, but my mouth said, "Why do I have no food to eat?" ”

"Oh yes, you're not going to run out of food."

"If I don't even have to eat, where will I have the money to buy a plane ticket to Find You in Cuba?" Cuba is not a place that can be reached by train. ”

"Don't worry, I came out with the money for the air ticket, not necessarily because I didn't have enough to eat before I came to me, if one day you are out of love and want to go out to relax, you come to Cuba, I specially made a heartbreaking meal for you." 」

"What heartbreaking?"

"This dish name is what I just came up with, haha, I'm so creative."

"But why are you cursing me for falling out of love?"

"Everyone can fall out of love."

"Why would i fall out of love when I'm a good person?"

"It's so hard for you to talk to you."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't want to eat any liver and intestines."

"It's heartbreaking."

"Well, it's heartbreaking, you don't have to make Cuban pot stickers, learn to make char siu rice, I like to eat char siu rice."

"Okay, that's it."

"If you can't mix in Cuba, come back, I invite you to eat Hong Kong pot stickers, I know where the best pot stickers are."

"Well, that's it. Where are the best pot stickers? ”

"You'll know when the time comes. So when are you leaving? ”

"You just seemed very much against me going to Cuba, so why do you seem to want me to get on the plane tomorrow?" Women become so fast. ”

"You speak of Cuba as heaven, and of course I encourage you to go tomorrow." Ten years later, or fifteen years later, when I go to Cuba to see you... Not because of a lost love, but to see an old friend I haven't seen for a long time... When I see you, you look like a Cuban, wearing a big straw hat, your skin tanned and wrinkled, much older than your actual age, and because you drink too much wine and eat too much ice cream, you have a mouth full of tooth decay, too many cigars, and your lungs are not good, and I can't recognize you..."

"Were you seriously abused as a child?" Why are you so abnormal? Ten or fifteen years from now, I may be more handsome than I am now. ”

I glanced at Cheng Fei: "I'll walk and see." You're going to keep that table for me, right? ”

"Of course, if I have a bite of food, you will have you."

"Don't be too skinny for char siu rice, too thin is not tasty."

"Semi-fat and skinny?"

"Like people, being slightly fat is the best."

"What is slightly fat?"

"The ratio of lean meat to fat meat is slightly fat, in addition, the char siu should not be too sweet, and it should not be too burnt."

"Oh my God, it's hard for you to say hello."

"Do you know what I hate the most?"

"Yourself?"

I kicked him.

"Oops... Good footwork. ”

I snapped my fingers and said, "I hate three things: apples that aren't crispy, pizza that's cold, and char siu that's too fatty and too skinny." ”

"Non-crispy apples are really hard to eat." Cheng Fei said.

"I think... My liver and intestines sound much better than your heartbroken meal. I said.

"Really? Liver and intestines are cut off... Just listening to the name seems to be like you will die immediately after eating it. ”

"Then let each person take a step, what do you think?"

"This sounds like it's dying faster." He said.

The two of us looked at each other and laughed out loud at the same time.

"Then it's better to make a slightly fat char siu rice than to eat sad rice." I say.

"Haha, this name is good, listen to it and feel happy, when you fall out of love, come to a slight fat char siu rice, will you cry while eating?" Cheng Fei smiled at me.

"When a person loses love, no matter what he eats, he will cry, right?" I say.

"Have you ever fallen out of love?"

"Me? How could I? I gave him a blank look and said, "Usually who loves me is who is out of love." ”

"I think you're going to be a good doctor in the future." He said.

"Oh? Why? ”

"You are so happy, so sunny, even if a terminally ill patient sees you, he will want to live for a few more years." He said.

I smiled and said, "That's great, I don't need to do anything, the patient wants to live as long as he sees me." ”

Why do I still remember every sentence of that morning until many years later, and remember the slightly fat char siu rice that Cheng Fei and I invented together? What I can't forget is the sunrise of two thousand years, and maybe the sunny me in his eyes at that time. I was young, carefree, never sad or depressed because I loved someone, nor did I know the darkest part of my life.