Redemption in the memo — I circled myself into the night and waited for the dawn to come

Redemption in the memo — I circled myself into the night and waited for the dawn to come

Original Xiaoxu

Public number does not say life

7/11

We are still scattered in time, so let's wait for fate to turn around again.

On the way back today, I saw the old man selling peaches again, and I remember that last year the three of us tacitly bought a lot of peaches to go home, and as a result, we ate a lot of peaches in those days, resulting in the peaches never becoming our table guests again that summer.

You and dad always love to give me some childish girls' gifts, last year's Spring Festival you went out for a trip back and said give me a thing, how I didn't expect it to be a moving light rabbit ears, old man, sometimes you are quite cute, you must not be happy now, you don't like to be said to be old, haha.

7/15

Oh boy, I never thought how strong you were, but I hope that after experiencing some stories and some pains, you can still have a sincere heart, peace of mind, and be determined and open-minded.

7/16

The first thing your little friend does when he comes to the house every day is to go to you first, and you love him so much, I think you will be very happy.

Grow up quickly, don't have to go through ripening, grow up quickly, grow into an adult who can shield yourself from the wind and rain!

One less person told me that I can't be slower, don't always run, no one will come back to me shout grandpa, you and dad go home the sound of the car ringing will not have, I always run out to open the door when you are about to get home, they say I have good hearing, I know that we have long been addicted to tacit understanding, and want to run out to meet you home, I bet with grandma that you will not go home at 8 o'clock Doomed to lose, this time to change me to grandma 100, every time you sneak out late home Grandma will chant you must chat with others do not want to go home, Then we always childishly bet that you will come back, and every time you seem to overhear our bet, every time I bet I never lost, but I will never win again.

This pain surpassed that time when Dad left, or because I still had you, but this time it was extremely difficult!

I'll have many more summers, but this will be our last summer

7/17

In the future, I will not be sad, I will not be wronged, I will not collapse, I will grow up~

If you still can't learn the way of adults, it's like Grandpa said, go with the flow, or be confused, God take care of it. That must be he knows that you must not learn, so he comforts himself and hopes that you will have a smooth future.

You like to see my long hair, girls dressed, the last time you cut short hair you are still a little depressed to say how to cut into this look, I always like to let you help me refer to the hair clothes, even if the ponytail that has not changed for hundreds of years, you can also see a so natural, we dye your hair together, 70 years old you are still so much black hair, just fresh that washed black shampoo, the result got a hand black, put the hair a piece of brown a piece of black, look at the mirror and each other laugh can not help themselves, Every time you look at the clothes and ask you to choose a good-looking one for me, the one you choose is the one who looks girly, is it that in your and Dad's aesthetics and expectations, you have always hoped that I will grow into a well-behaved little girl, but unfortunately it seems to backfire.

7/18

We haven't seen each other again this summer, and we still want to be able to eat your meal every day after work.

I couldn't force myself to be happy, I could only hope that this girl would try to go on with her thoughts.

Come home from work and lie on your bed, still in the same position as before, imagining you being held by me.

Acacia cannot be touched, memory cannot be touched, let it bloom in the heart!

7/19

Opening my eyes and closing my eyes is all your picture, I always feel that this is a dream, the dream woke up I was still lying next to you and wrapping my arms around you, I didn't dare to think too much about you, but my thoughts couldn't help myself.

There is the past and tenderness hidden in the rings of the year, which is the sustenance and strength of my life every day in the future.

You should know that your departure will make me feel more hurt in my heart, and I am a person who is silent and cold and unwilling to express sadness, I can't blame anyone, I cocoon myself in the dark, you should have thought of it, but you still gave me up.

Today is heavy rain, I rained a long way, rain and tears do you know how cool it is, they don't know ah, before going home I first cleaned myself up as usual, this time is really much more painful than the last time.

I removed the string of beads.

7/20

I always like to play with your hands, pinch your face, drag your ears to see, but also bored around your eyes than the size, Dad always let me play around, Grandpa will occasionally say obedience, don't make trouble, I envy your big eyes and long eyelashes, always complain about why I don't have the same big double eyelids as you, Dad will laugh, Grandpa will say this is not up to you, and later whenever I hear me say I like it, I am always happy.

In fact, my mother is right, I am really used to being unsympathetic to you, looking obedient, but I have been doing all kinds of wayward things under the guise of understanding.

7/21

Don't always wrong yourself, take care of yourself, I am obedient, and I will not let your girls be wronged and sad.

Now I always feel that sometimes it is not a good thing to be too much love, because it will be sad to lose it in the future as if you want half a life. After growing up for the second time to drip, a person sitting there in the mind flashed some time ago physical discomfort, you and grandma and mother together around me, you said to try to put ten fingers, that is the second time I was put ten fingers, I think I probably also think that I am surrounded by a good happy so active cooperation, grandma hugged me, mother held my hand, so I was still arrogant, obviously you have not touched me and began to scream, but also after a week after that, I always have to pick up my finger to let you see the small hole that has not been seen, You always cooperate with the glance, I still hold on to you have to coax two sentences, until the mother said yes, ah, then giggle and stop for a while.

There are a lot of small flying insects in the summer, my eyes are always one of their favorite places, before coming home from work, I always ran to find you to say that the bugs entered the eyes, and then looked up to let you help me blow, mom and grandma always said how adults, like a child all day, but I still like to bother you to help me with every tedious little thing.

7/22

There was a grandfather and granddaughter walking past me laughing and laughing together, I seemed to see us, you always walked very fast on your big long legs, I jumped and pulled one of your arms and walked irregularly, you sometimes said good walking, but many times it would be played by me, only the mother and grandmother would say that the adult is not always like a child.

Every time we go out, people always say that your grandfather is so young, so when you go to the supermarket, you have to ask me if we are together, haha, I know you enjoy being told that you are very young.

7/23

Finally, I know you just want to spend more time with me day after day.

You are always very strict with me in some things, but in the last time, no matter what I do, you only say yes, they occasionally say that I am not right, you are always not allowed, haha, you began to learn to coddle, but our time is still too short.

7/24

Today, the child suddenly hugged into my arms, rubbed his cheeks as usual with you, and then gently held my face and said very seriously: Sister, you have to eat obediently Oh ~ At that moment, the throat is sour, and your little friend will take care of your big friend for you.

7/25

You never allowed me to lie, but you told a big lie, and it turned out that accompanying me was just a joke, blaming me for obsessing too much, maybe you taught me to grow up too tired.

7/26

I always realize after experiencing it that the sentimentality of the past was just a melancholy attitude, and now the fall is generous but forced to pretend, from pretending to pretending, it is happiness to sadness, it is the loss of self, it is lost, it is loveless, it is lonely and alone.

7/27

Personality is an incurable disease, there is no cure, sad is silent, unhappy to sleep, hate to explain, do not say things, obviously the heart has preset a lot, the mouth must naturally say that there is nothing wrong, bad emotions invade the world evaporate, always a person and their own can not go, even those who like to love can not transfer sadness, do not raise interest, full of face written discouraged, there is such a big sadness? They like to hope that the little deser who is unreasonable in front of them is the little deser, the child who is a little sad to let the family know, and then give a little sunshine to the girl, you don't often say that my face is as changeable as the weather forecast.

I haven't seen my grandmother for half a year, before a video can be nagging for hours, now it's just a simple greeting to flash up, I'm afraid that we will collapse if we talk too much... I'm afraid to make her worry even more.

I hate to think of yourself in anything I do, as if after Dad left we cherished and loved each other even more, so much so that the memories of these years are too deep.

Remembering many years ago bored to burn waste paper in the boiler, pick up your cigarette box to study, accidentally hit several and then another box, Grandpa, I hate to think of yourself at every moment, after work always used to lie outside the door to see what you are doing, you used to say why lie there quickly, but these two days you did not say eh.

It turns out that after experiencing more, I will be indifferent to many things! I knew I wouldn't really let go, just learn to be sad secretly. Playing an emotionally stable adult every day is a short-term goal for my future, but there will still be many gaps in reality, and I will lose you, less and less talkative, and very tired. Many people are substitutes in love, but you and Dad have no one to replace.

You always tell me that no matter what you do, you must really like it, so that you will be happy, and you will contradict yourself to tell me that some responsibilities even if you don't like it, you have to try to do it well, because you choose, you carry it, you have to complete it beautifully.

I will not like gentle men in the future, you always treat the world gently, hide all emotions, but forget that bad emotions hurt your body, and miss too many original good futures.

I didn't want to go far away, I just wanted to find a cute place, I walked through the alley of home as a child, at the end of the road is the cooking smoke and lights and you, this road I still need many years to reach, you must remember my appearance and voice, do not forget!

I always like people to shout to my grandparents before I enter the house, and then run to grandma to kiss you, touch and touch next to you, wrap my arms around your neck and hang on to you, my mother always says how big it is, how to grow up, you will also say obedience, grandma will return me a kiss, and then I will joke with you, such a hilarity has stagnated for a long time, no one said that I always jumped and jumped sloppily to let myself be hurt.

7/28

Overwhelmed by the age, unsatisfactory life, eager to get real maturity and growth, but found that the pace of growing up is difficult, I want to retreat, and there is no way back.

The future is a new beginning, cut the complexity, simplify, sunrise and sunset, there will always be dawn.

In fact, I hate my current self, silence is closed, but at present, only silence is the best way I can think of to deal with emotions, the self-consumption of bad emotions is really tired, but as long as you slowly walk through this period of darkness, life will be very good.

It seems that it has been a long time since there are broken thoughts, nagging, how many years every day to have to tell you what happens outside of a person, one by one, or show off, or find comfort, always enjoy the process of our family sitting together every day and chatting. When I was a child, I was always ridiculed by everyone about your family meeting again, at first I was really a little angry when I heard them say this, so occasionally I would always excuse myself to urinate and prove to them that it was not, but then I gradually liked our daily chat time, all the entanglements and unhappiness in the process of my slowly saying to you seemed to become less sad, this little half a year we have not had such a relaxed chat for a long time, the last time as long as the two of us are always Nagging, Then you look at me always worried, every time always tell me a lot of truth, as if I want to a brain did not teach me the human feelings that have not been taught me before, yes, Grandma they will always say that you are going to grow up, we will be old, but you have never said so, I know that you have always felt that you are healthy, you can accompany me for a long time ....

Summer is not perfect, let the autumn have more good news~

Growing up is a painful metamorphosis, or they just want you to grow up to be an adult who can stand alone, so they choose to leave in the romantic summer.

Didn't you keep nagging you during that time that we wouldn't turn on the air conditioner for you, I'll turn you on and come back, I'm obedient, you know I can't even read what I wrote a second time, such a sad emotion like to swallow me up, I don't know how to get better.

7/29

I haven't seen you for a long time, the girl who walks in the wind has been silent for too long, I hope to meet you better and better in the countless days to come, cry red eyes after laughing and grow up, even if I don't know when pretend optimism will become real happiness, I still like the girl who is full of gentle breath and overflowing with happiness.

Hide the softest love in your heart, lock them in time, you are no longer a child, those superheroes who protect you as a child are tired, in the next few days it should be your superhero who loves, I think the love accumulated in those energy tanks must be able to make this girl survive the loneliness, hide the sea of stars, and grow into a happy appearance.

Romance to death, love beyond. Or just a little time, a little slowly, I can calmly pretend that everything is going well and continue to live a good life.

Life is not only loved and loved, lost to be loved, there is no dependence, but I still have the people I love to guard, that must be the way you expect me to grow.

How fortunate it is to have too intimate relationships, how cruel it is after losing, the expression can be covered up, sadness will not lie, compared to the girl who is just silent during the day, in fact, I prefer the girl who is crazy and depressed at night, when the thoughts gush, the freedom of thought, the mood will make the pain real, can also make a person get out of the pain faster, and it will make me feel that I have not forgotten the short end of the story, did not betray our love.

Grandpa, I will be obedient, and from now on I will not stubbornly ask others to only take a position and not occupy the principle

I know that in your place, I am superior to many and am the only one

My big tree is tired, so let's rest, the little tree said that he has grown up to be my big tree, I said that in the future I will be my own big tree

What if your girl is bullied and cries? I still can't cry in the future, I have to hold back my tears and be strong!

The moon is out of date, the sun is setting, and I spend my days in the sky full of stars.

A little miss the girl who stood in front of you for three points, thought of the only time when I was a child that I came home late and was called home by you, where I jumped and stomped my feet and was ridiculed by my friends, and when I came back to be educated by my mother, I was protected by you in front of me, and the love in the old time could always overflow the shackles of memory.

7/30

Dear girl, I want you to look at least good.

They say that emotionally sensitive people are closest to the Tao, and the Tao can cross people? In the first trough of my life, I once put on the Buddha beads to meditate, in those countless sleepless nights, I listened to the Buddhist scriptures for countless nights to be at peace, and in the past few years I have used many methods to try to make myself peaceful in my heart, and I have not been able to know the Tao with a similar surface, but I have not been able to cross myself, that day I put away the string of Buddha beads, put back my watch, the future state of mind and liberation of life, the way to salvation is probably only self-awakening.

At the age of less than standing, a heart has been sewn and patched up too many times, and I don't know whether it is fortunate or unfortunate.

They all said that I was too tired some time ago, I didn't like to hear such words, but I knew that they were all out of love and care, and that time was a time of great peace of mind in my life, and it was also the last time as a child, and after you left, I knew that those old times and love would be farther and farther away from me.

The wheelchair prepared for you only sat once, I remember that day you came out for a long time, you obviously looked very tired but still said to sit for a while, so I hugged you from behind, leaned my head on your shoulder, we gently leaned our heads together, so that you could support your neck with strength, that time was the only time you didn't say that I was too tired to reject me, Grandpa, in fact, I was really happy, because in each of you, I got the most closeness and love.

Anyone and anything, time will always give us the answer, in the days of long flow of water, not to say forever, only to say cherish.

It is said that those who have not said goodbye will eventually meet again, and before we say goodbye, we will certainly meet again in other ways.

Is it okay that you have crammed my whole past and been absent from my future for a long, long time?

7/31

Many years later, I want to go to that long alley to walk, the street sales are still the same as before, the old house before and after the cooking smoke, occasionally there will be children running around the figure, behind the jumping feet of adults, the roof does not know whose cat is probing the brain to look at the birds under the eaves, the toon tree in the yard grows taller and taller, the autumn persimmons are still hanging like lanterns all over the yard, the dates on the jujube trees are still scattered like errands, standing under the eaves and leaning against the wall to look around, the past scene is clear in the mind The corners of his mouth could not help but raise slightly, and the beauty in the memories seemed to pass through time to that moment.

Originally, I thought that our last goodness would be preserved in the image, but that day I suddenly realized that the camera was broken, and the image that had not been saved was lost.

I will slowly calm down a little bit on the hard days.

You're going to grow up to be what they expected to be in the years to come, (ง •_•) ง

Tonight is a rare starry sky, usual summer now we should walk around the bend and chat ah ~ let them say goodnight to me on my behalf, I love you ~

I want to say to a girl for you: Well, we still love you the most, (* ̄3) (ε ̄ *) Eat obediently, sleep well, don't let yourself be wronged, take good care of yourself, don't cry!