The high bracelet he gave me was broken.
At that time, I was huddled on the sofa on the balcony reading a book, and the bracelet was placed on the window sill not far from me, I don't know whether it was because it was not stable or because the wind was relatively strong, and it suddenly fell down.
I was shocked and instinctively got up, but it was too late to save, and I watched as it shattered in half in front of me, leaving a whole corpse.
The window glass was dangling, and the morning sun was shining openly into the house, and I stretched out and continued to nestle in the sofa.
Jin Hannian heard the noise and woke up, and casually put on a pair of loose trousers and got out of bed to find me: "What sound?" ”
I pointed innocently at the bracelet on the ground: "Broken." ”
The bedroom was quiet, my slight gasp became particularly clear, and he suddenly bent down and squeezed my chin with his right hand to force me to look at him: "Do you know how expensive the bracelet is, can you afford it?" ”
I was a little embarrassed, holding the corner of my shirt, overwhelmed, and had to harden my scalp and say, "I'm not careful!" ”
"Then you don't know to pick it up?" He increased the force in his hands, and then kissed me with full punishment, so hard that he almost sucked up all the air in my lungs, and I was so out of breath that I couldn't breathe from his kiss, and my hands unconsciously pressed on his shoulders, and at this moment, the book in his arms fell to the ground, causing a lot of noise.
As soon as Jin Hannian's movements stopped me, his gaze moved to the book on the ground, the cover of the book was impressively printed with the words "Mistress Code", his eyes were already clear, and he stared at the book at the moment and did not know what he was thinking, frowning and looking displeased.
I straightened my waist and asked, "What's wrong?" ”
"You see what this does."
I pretended not to know and asked him, "Didn't you send me?" ”
"No." In between words, Jin Hannian had bent down to pick up the book, the fabric cover, well-made, inside was some rules and regulations, mixed with many abusive words, humiliating.
I read it word for word, there was no ripple in my heart, in Jin Hannian's side for so many years, I have not seen any big wind and waves, I have received dolls with needles, rat corpses, this book is quite polite.
Jin Hannian's brow tightened more and more, his eyebrows seemed to drift into the frost and snow, and even his tone could not help but be a little colder: "Where did it come from?" ”
"I just received the courier in the morning, and I thought you bought it for me to study hard!"
"Did you throw the single number above?"
I silently pointed to the trash can, and he made another look, and I obediently picked it up from the trash can, except for some folds, the list was intact, and I deliberately did not tear it.
Jin Hannian didn't like women who were causing trouble for him, so I never asked him to help me with anything, and I solved everything by myself, so in his eyes I was independent and autonomous, and I was bullied, and the first thought he flashed must be heartache, like now.
"When you receive this kind of thing later, tell me as soon as possible, eh?"
"Well, I know." She didn't know that Jin Hannian also lived here, although the house was given to me by him, he didn't live in my place for a day, and he didn't know whether he was lusting after the flowers and plants of the villa, the gentle wind in the corridor, or me. So many times, I don't have to file a complaint, and he will definitely find out.
He took a picture, sent it to his assistant, then put the book on the table next to him and walked silently to the bathroom, while I continued to nestle in the couch, bored and beginning to be in a daze.
Jin Hannian's shirt is very large, it happens to wrap around my hips, I like to wear his clothes at home, always wear him one piece of clothing out of the folds, I don't know whether Jin Hannian dislikes the folds on the clothes or dislikes me, the clothes I wear he never wears.
My name is Lin Yan, 22 years old with Jin Hannian, now it has been five years, in this advocating fast food society seems a little strangely long, but the years have indeed passed so unconsciously.
I remember one day five years ago, he suddenly came to me and said, "Be my woman." ”
I was flattered, but there was no flaw in my face, and I continued to circumvent him: "Mr. Jin, you want to explain, is it a girlfriend, a wife, a lover or a sexual partner?" ”
Jin Hannian narrowed his eyes, like a leopard hunting, and threw the question back to me: "What do you want to do?" ”
At that moment, my mind was racing, I didn't know what the answer the other party wanted to hear was, as Jin Hannian, a successful entrepreneur who had just been selected as one of the top three in city A, would he lack women?
He asked me this question obviously to play with me, there is no serious meaning, then I might as well follow his words: "Lover? ”
Jin Hannian smiled deeply, "Good." ”
He answered happily, but my heart was half cold, but I thought that he could let me win in the dance competition and then successfully get a national certificate from an outstanding graduate, and I felt less sad.
After being together, Jin Hannian was not the same as I imagined, he did not have a complicated male-female relationship, except for work is to stay with me. At that time, when I was still living in a small apartment, he came to the small apartment every day to find me, probably because he was uncomfortable, he gave me a villa, and then continued to come to the villa to find me.
And I also became his secretary from a college graduate, I originally wanted to go to the provincial dance troupe to work, but because of the waist injury I failed, Jin Hannian saw that I was depressed, so he gave me a secretary job.
But I never slackened off in my work, as hard as I did when I was learning dance, learning to be a good secretary, practicing English at night, making forms during the day, and secretly learning from those old secretaries, learning to observe words and colors, and learning to be familiar with the big and small affairs in the company.
Jin Hannian still disdained me: "Dare you come to me to steal the master?" ”
I replied to him in fluent English: "I'm just in awe of my profession." ”
He smiled slightly again: "I don't like women who have too much desire." ”
"Rest assured, I have no desire for you."
His eyes sank and he stopped paying attention to me.
I don't know if it was my pious learning attitude that impressed Jin Hannian, he began to give me some things to do, I did everything very well, he slowly looked at me.
He said I was very strange, obviously the money he gave me was enough for me to spend decades, but I wanted to suffer.
I replied lightly, "After all, I am a person who has practiced dance, and this bit of bitterness can still be eaten." ”
I was reused and began to follow Jin Hannian to various occasions, Jin Hannian never avoided suspicion, so that everyone in the circle soon knew that I was Jin Hannian's lover and secretary.
There were all kinds of ugly words in the company, and I knew that this was a bill that I had to pay for my original vanity, and Jin Hannian comforted me: "Since you stay with such a good man, these are the things you must bear." ”
He's really narcissistic, but there's some truth to what he says.
"Then I was framed one day, will you believe me?" I don't know if I have watched too many novels and TV series, and many frame-up plots have come to mind.
He said he believed.
Instead, I was skeptical of his answer and asked, "Why?" ”
He said lazily and lightly: "Because you are my man." ”
I froze, swallowed a mouthful of spit, what is the sense of belonging, I think I felt it at that moment, and my feelings for Jin Hannian also quietly changed at that moment.
I began to care for him from the bottom of my heart, changing into a dance dress to dance for him when he was sad, helping him pinch his shoulders when he was tired, and automatically disappearing when he was irritable.
He praised me for being smart and knowing the measure.
Is fame important, even if there is no name, I still have a warm heart and lungs relationship; is name not important? Because I had no reputation, I endured a lot of humiliation and suspicion for no reason.
The wind outside the window blew in little by little, forming a cold gully on my skin, and the temperature in the villa had been constant, and after staying in the right temperature for a long time, I forgot that it was late autumn outside.
The sound of water in the bathroom suddenly stopped, and then Jin Hannian's voice came out: "Help me bring the bath towel in!" ”
"Isn't there in the bathroom?" I muttered as I rummaged through the closet, two dark blue bath towels stacked on top of each other, golden threads embroidered with our names in the corner of the bath towels, we had a lot of items that were for couples, and because of the long time of cohabitation, the villa was full of traces of our belonging.
"Lin Dye?"
"It's coming." I trotted over and opened the door to hand him the bath towel.
Jin Hannian frowned slightly displeased: "You can't do your job in place, punish you for helping me wipe it." ”
I looked at him with a flattering look: "Those few bath towels are in the dirty clothes basket, I forgot to wash them." ”
The bathroom was steaming, and I tiptoed gently to reach Jin Hannian's hair. His hair was jet black and thick, with the scent of light shampoo, and Jin Hannian's facial expression had softened as I gently wiped it.
After so many years of getting along, he didn't seem to have been angry with me, and occasionally he pulled down his face and waited for me to coax him with his mouth tightly, and never yelled at me. To be fair, he was really good to me, otherwise I wouldn't have put my heart on him and sunk deeper and deeper.
"Wipe it well, blow it dry yourself, I'm going to go down and make breakfast."
"So you woke up early in the morning and kept looking at the damn mistress code?"
"Hmm."
Jin Hannian suddenly turned around and pressed me against the bathroom wall: "Then you have learned how to be a good lover?" ”
I slipped under his arm and replied mischievously, "No! ”
After breakfast, Jin Hannian went to the study for a video conference, and I curled up on the carpet next to him to check a project contract for him.
When he finished the video conference, his eyes fell on me: "Can you get dressed well at home?" ”
I looked down and saw that I was still wearing his shirt, and because of my posture, my entire legs were exposed, and I looked particularly white on the dark brown carpet, and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, so I replied to him: "I can wear it as much as I want at home." ”
He raised an eyebrow, "Whose home?" ”
"Mine, don't forget that you gave me this villa."
Jin Hannian was not annoyed, and summed up four words to me: "Sharp teeth." ”
I got up and put the file on my desk, then leaned over and said, "Thanks for the compliment!" ”
"You're lawless." Jin Hannian glanced at me faintly and continued to look at the computer screen to do his business.
"Spoiled by you!" I wrapped my legs around his neck with my legs and pressed my face against his face, his pores were fine and the whole face was smooth and elastic.
Jin Hannian didn't speak again, and I continued to ask, "Will you always spoil me?" ”
He still didn't speak, my heart was tight, inexplicably a little lost, but on the face pretended to have no heart and lungs to bite his ear, he didn't speak does not mean anything, I think I am probably too sensitive.
Just as I was about to let go of him, my eyes saw his computer screen, on which was a resume, and the candidate was a woman named Yao Man.
"When will you want to see your resume in person?"
"The daughter of my father's comrade-in-arms asked me if I had a suitable position for her."
"Oh, it's pretty good-looking." I commented without being salty, but my heart was very unhappy.
I just didn't expect this Yao Man to come to work on Monday, the position is still a crucial public relations manager in the company, I came to the company just a small secretary, but she parachuted to the management, backstage support is not the same.
I have a faint uneasiness in my heart, but I don't know where this uneasiness comes from, probably because it is late autumn, and every second there are leaves withering, and I can't help but be sad.
However, even if Yao Man came, I was still the most enthusiastic gossip topic discussed by my colleagues in the company, and I was just going to the toilet, and their saliva was enough to drown me.
I came out of the toilet expressionlessly, and under their stunned expressions, I read their badges one by one, and then slowly spoke: "Did you take the initiative to hand over the resignation letter, or did I go to someone to resign you?" ”
They bowed their heads in silence, and I stepped on my high heels and walked out without squinting.
On the floor where I work, I rarely hear gossip, but this time I just got off the wrong elevator because of my mind, and came downstairs to go to the toilet, but I didn't expect that the harvest was not small.
I am not an aggressive person, but this time I want to be willful, and I deliberately let Jin Hannian know my attitude, in order to test his attitude towards me.
The next day I waited for Yao Man, and she asked Jin Hannian in the office what she meant: "General Manager Jin, why did the people in my department resign as soon as I came?" I heard that someone threatened them. ”
I didn't expect that yesterday those few people were actually people from the public relations department.
I was called into the office by Jin Hannian, and he said that I was a bit of a fuss about it, and such a small matter would not make them resign. When he said this, his face was calm, and he could not see any other emotions.
I bowed my head slightly, unwilling to argue in front of Jin Hannian, so I politely apologized to Yao Man: "Sorry, next time I will pay attention." Then he walked out of the office without looking back.
Until I closed the door Jin Hannian did not call me to stop, how I hoped that he could stand on my side this time, can allow my willfulness, but many things are contrary to wishes, many things.
Sure enough, Yao Man came out of the office and made an appointment with me, and we had afternoon tea together.
She was straightforward and straightforward, and she said, "I am bound to win for Jin Han's years." ”
I pretended to be stupid: "Manager Yao told me what to do with this, do you think I will become a threat to you?" ”
Yao Man did not answer my question positively, but continued to state the facts with me: "My family will give Jin Hannian a lot of help, and after marriage, I don't want him to continue to support his lover." ”
She bit down on the four words "to support the lover", she is very good at picking my sore spots, although my face is light and breezy, but I really care in my heart.
After separating from Yao Man, I was not in a state, and then I simply took a leave of absence to go home, and Yao Man's mocking face kept appearing in front of me: "You can personally ask Jin Hannian if he loves you or not, and whether he will marry you." ”
I, who usually have sharp teeth, can't say a word at that moment, just like Yao Man said, if a man really loves a woman, how can he not even give her a promise, the longer I stay by Jin Hannian's side, the more insecure I am.
In the gap between my own loss of concentration, the paper in front of me was already full of questions, and unconsciously there were tears flowing down, and my analysis and fantasies for a long time seemed to be worthless.
And I don't dare ask him, I don't want him to personally deny our relationship, and I don't want to be unable to save face for each other in the end.
Leaving has become my last dignity, and leaving without saying goodbye will not make Jin Hannian miss it extraordinarily?
As his secretary, I knew that Jin Hannian had a liquor bureau tonight, and I spent six hours packing my bags and silently betting with myself in my heart that if Jin Hannian took the initiative to send me a message to coax me during these six hours, I would not leave.
Nothing, the phone was quiet, there was great sadness in the silence.
The weather really cooled down, wearing only a pair of thin pants, I shivered in the cold wind, I remembered that in the past, when we attended the party together, Jin Hannian would take off his coat and put it on me, and muttered disapprovingly while wearing it: "I don't know how to bring a coat." ”
"Isn't there you?"
"Freeze you to death next time."
"Are you willing?" If I freeze to death, I won't have anyone to warm your bed! "Some of the habitual mixing, like a couple, is not the relationship between the gold lord and the lover.
There are so many memories, like the fallen leaves everywhere in autumn, a person leans down to pick them up, and when he is not careful, he will burst into tears.
I didn't buy a ticket, just let the driver master take me to the high-speed rail station, because I was in a hurry, I didn't think about where to go, and I stood in front of the ticket vending machine for a long time without making a decision, allowing the tears to blur my vision.
Later felt that the time was too late, decided to find a hotel next to the station to live, just settled in the hotel, Jin Hannian's phone call came, I looked at the mobile phone screen kept flashing, stunned is not answered.
After the phone stopped, his WeChat message came in again: "Where did you go, why aren't you at home?" ”
I wanted to return something, but I felt that this time I should be tougher, originally I was in a relationship with him, he had no reason to stop me from leaving, but when he really left, his heart was empty, and he wanted to desperately grasp something, but he couldn't catch anything.
It felt like everyone was expecting snow, and I was walking naked in the snow, alone, and a heavy snow became my own empty joy.
After a few minutes, Jin Hannian's next WeChat message came over: Lin Dye, talk.
I thought a lot of things in my mind, but I couldn't say a word.
The night sky outside the window is sparsely starry, the hotel is not soundproof, there are always footsteps and talking sounds, I deliberately turned off the phone, and then lay on the bed staring at the pattern on the ceiling for a whole night.
I fell asleep at dawn, and when I woke up again, the hotel front desk called me to urge me to check out, looked at the clock, at one o'clock in the afternoon, I didn't sleep enough to really not remember, so I said weakly to the end of the phone: "Set another night." ”
"Okay lady." Between words, the sound of the hotel cleaning staff trolley "creaking" came from outside the door, which was really disturbing to people's dreams, I got up with the quilt, and I had no intention of sleeping again.
It's been another day, and I still haven't figured out where to flee, maybe I don't want to leave at all.
Lin Yan, you really didn't show up. Thinking about it, I cried again, and for the sake of that vanity, I lost five years of my youth and a complete heart, and finally left in a hurry.
If you have the opportunity to choose again, you must talk about love clearly and clearly, and never fall into these unequal relationships again.
I don't know how long I cried, before the tears dried, there was a knock at the door, I was suspicious and did not dare to open the door without permission, but the person outside the door was very patient, and the knocking sound was still coming uninterruptedly.
"Who?"
I had to look out through the cat's eyes, Jin Hannian's face appeared in front of me, my heart beat faster, and I couldn't even breathe smoothly.
How did he get here?
"Lin Dye, open the door." He called my name somewhat impatiently, and I knew I couldn't hide, so I had to open the door.
He came in with a cold face, one hand pulling me, the other hand slamming the door shut, "Why shut down?" ”
I swallowed my spit weakly: "Probably out of power." ”
"Who gave you the guts to learn to run away from home?" I don't know if Jin Hannian's momentum is too strong, I was momentarily provoked, standing in place and bowing my head like a child who did something wrong.
Jin Hannian pinched my chin and forced me to raise my head, covering my face with his left hand, rubbing a small piece of skin under his eyes: "Crying? ”
Jin Hannian's voice suddenly softened down, my nose was sour, and suddenly my eyes were hot, I was not afraid of his indifference and anger, but I was afraid of his sudden tenderness.
I rarely cried in front of him, but this time the tears could not be held back any longer, and they all came out of my eyes.
I cried for a long time again, crying out of breath, Jin Hannian kept holding me in his arms to comfort me, and when I stopped and could communicate normally, he tried to communicate with me: "Because I am not on your side, angry? ”
I shook my head: "Cold years, we've been together for many years, I'm tired and don't want to be around you anymore." ”
I choked up on this sentence, desperately holding back the tears so that the tears did not flow down.
Jin Hannian sat down by the bed, I stood between his legs, his hand took my hand, looked at me with his head on his back and looked at me affectionately: "So many years, wronged? ”
I didn't respond, and he continued to ask me: "Am I bad for you?" ”
His eyes looked directly at me, leaving me with nowhere to escape, and I said softly: "For so many years, there is no name, I can't see the light, and whoever changes it will be wronged." ”
He held my hand and suddenly squeezed it, and his eyes were slightly angry: "When I gave you so many choices, you chose to be my lover, and now why are you complaining about me again?" ”
"I've done enough!"
Jin Hannian was silent for a while, and then slowly spoke: "Then why not change Mrs. Jin to be a pawn?" ”
His eyes were sincere, and he didn't mean to joke at all, but I was so shocked that I couldn't speak, and it took a long time before I murmured, "Mrs. Jin?" ”
"Well, will you marry me?"
"Jin Hannian, what are you talking about?" My mind was particularly confused, and my heart was so moved, but I was afraid that it was a dream of my own.
"Lin Yan, marry me."
I finally heard his words clearly, and then I cried with a "wow" sound, and the sentence I had waited for so long happened on such an ordinary afternoon, in this small express hotel room, it seemed so unreal but so provocative.
He pulled me into his lap and sat down, then wrapped me in his arms and coaxed me: "How did I not know that you could cry so much? ”
The afternoon was quiet and long, and Jin Hannian and I stayed in the room for a long time before he took me out to dinner, and I was led by him like a child.
We sat face to face, because I cried that my eyes hurt a little, and from time to time there was a snot flowing down, I didn't have any appetite, but Jin Hannian forced me to let me eat a little.
His fingers were slender and flexible, and the seafood was only full of flesh left on his hands, which was the first time he had helped me peel shrimp and crabs.
From the moment he offered to make me his wife, I thought it was all weird.
"Why me?"
He suddenly chuckled out loud, "Why not you." ”
Jin Hannian said that five years ago he saw my performance, a solo dance, then he fell in love with me at first sight, so he found me with a relationship, he did not expect him to give me so many choices, but I chose to be his lover, in fact, if I said to be his wife, he would agree.
"I'm not interested in messy male-female relationships, and when I say being my woman, I mean to be loyal to each other, and it doesn't matter what I call."
After listening to what he said, I really wanted to go up and beat him up, and the grievances in the past five years seemed to be self-inflicted.
Jin Hannian xu saw my dissatisfaction, and he continued to speak: "You have not had a heart and lungs for so many years, I thought you didn't care at all. ”
"I don't have a heart and lungs must be pretending, in fact, I, a small belly chicken intestine, can't hold a little sand in my eyes... Because, I love you. ”
It turns out that confessing this matter is not so difficult to talk about.
It turns out that he also loves me, everyone loves people in different ways, all we can do is not to measure our lover by other people's standards.
From the time of getting the license to the wedding was only half a month, the wealth is good, there are so many people who can serve you, and the employee benefits in the month of marriage are actually double salaries, the company cheers up and down, Yao Man and the few people in her department handed out resignation letters, I have never seen them again.
Life after marriage does not seem to have changed, Jin Hannian still squeezes me, I work for him in the company, and when I return home, I take care of most of the housework.
He still didn't want children, and I didn't have any obsession with children, so we prepared Dink, and I went to charity with him when I had extra money, and he set up a forest dye public welfare fund.
But even if I get married, there will still be all kinds of gossip on the Internet, saying that I have worked hard for five years to finally turn right, and I can't guess what I am a woman.
I showed some comments to Jin Hannian, feeling indignant in my heart, but he had a calm face: "Still that sentence, with such a good man as me, pressure is inevitable." ”
"Then the soldiers will come to cover the water, and I am not a woman who is afraid of things." I spoke with pride and pride as I did then.
Autumn feast, layers of forest, winter twilight, to the snow. Loving him will be my lifelong concern, and there is no way I can't not love him.