When strengths become weaknesses
Alphas need skilled coaches because they have a hard time asking for help, or even admitting they need help. They are usually stubborn and dismissive of feedback. After all, they can't achieve their goals through self-reflection. As much as they like to talk about accountability, they often don't see their way of communicating as an obstacle rather than someone else's flaw. They are uncomfortable, show vulnerability or take constant action. The coaching process can make them feel powerless and out of control.
But effective executive coaching can enhance individual capabilities; it doesn't turn alpha into an unrecognizable puff. The challenge for the coach is to maintain Alpha's strengths while correcting his weaknesses. Coaches should not undermine Alpha's focus on results; they should improve the process of achieving those goals. For alpha, this distinction is crucial.
In 2001, Dell embodied the company's alpha prototype. Its tenacious culture is all about getting results. But as the company matures and the tech industry faces its worst recession, CEO Michael Dell and President Kevin Rawlings feel the need to change the way organizations achieve industry-leading results. They want to improve teamwork between the two of them and other senior executives, and their aim is to develop a more mature and enthusiastic corporate culture.
Michael and Kevin are respected throughout the organization for their ingenuity and superior judgment. But they are also considered harsh and sometimes even intimidating. Not surprisingly, most of Dell's general managers are cut from the same fabric, showing the classic alpha leadership style. Given their deep analytical skills, Michael and Kevin began the change process by collecting data – inviting us to participate in a 360-degree interview with the entire Dell executive team. This isn't the first time Dell has hired us for executive coaching, but it's a more intense and focused process driven by extraordinary commitment from the top.
Receiving critical feedback is no easy task, but at Dell, it has become an important part of the corporate culture. Michael and Kevin set an example for other leaders by taking on difficult information from the team and making a clear commitment to coaching and improving the process. The 360 feedback made Kevin realize that his image was too picky and opinionated, hindering his ability to motivate the organization. People thought he didn't listen because he made his own suggestions so quickly and not based on their ideas. In his efforts to help general managers improve business performance, he makes it difficult for them to appreciate his opinion.
For his part, Michael came to realize that his high focus on analysis sometimes made him seem out of reach, "very transactional," even for his most valuable colleagues. Through the 360 process, he learned that his people found him difficult to read and were eager for more direct feedback. To his surprise, his "celebrating a nanosecond" attitude makes people feel as valuable as they were in the last quarter's results. Michael and Kevin also received feedback that the tension between the two of them was causing anxiety among the executive team — no one had wanted to tell them before.
They were determined to improve Dell's personal and co-leadership by agreeing to take only the big moves they both supported, and to make their relationships change from "good enough" to "great." As a symbol of this commitment, they built adjacent offices with glass doors always open between them. They now use humorous cues to get each other's attention. Michael gives Kevin a smiling toy bulldozer and makes Kevin feel like Michael wants to push the plow against him, placing it on the table. Kevin is a curious George stuffed animal to remind himself to become more curious and welcome the ideas of others.
Beginning about three years ago, the top-down commitment to individual change enhanced organizational goals, changed the image of the ideal Dell general manager, and launched a cultural initiative called "Soul of Dell." Michael and Kevin and all Dell executives receive regular 360-degree feedback to ensure that the data collected is as fresh and objective as possible.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > alpha coach trap</h1>
Like most Alphas, Michael and Kevin need help getting rid of their stylistic limitations and seeing themselves like everyone else. But Alpha needed some form of guidance. The most suitable executive coach for Alpha has a lot of experience in dealing with superstars and stand up for bullies. The coach doesn't have to be Alpha, but it helps to share traits like analytical orientation and direct communication style. When executive coaches can't help Alpha and its organization, it's usually because they fall into one of three traps, each of which can make the process cold.
First, some coaches make the mistake of "playing loosely and hitting lightly" – that is, they are too passive and simply react to alphas by retreating to their own non-executive experiences and opinions. Alphas are not an easy person and they wouldn't think a coach who acts this way is credible or relevant. After all, Alpha believes that the kind of person who becomes an executive coach is simply too friendly and grumpy to understand the true meaning of deliverables. If an Alpha player thinks his coach plans to turn him into an overly sensitive wf (he knows better than anyone, that's the last thing his organization needs!). He will never give the coach a chance.
The second trap that coaches fall into is excessive secrecy. Understandably, coaches need to maintain a high degree of confidentiality in their work. Some argue that the way to make Alpha public is to reassure him that no one else in the organization will find his vulnerability. By trying to protect clients, coaches can inadvertently create black holes in the organization. Nothing seemed to appear. But it is important not to operate in a vacuum. Only by soliciting opinions from colleagues can coaches truly understand the issues surrounding alpha behavior. Only by speaking openly about his commitment to change can Alpha reverse the widespread organizational mistrust he has created.
Colleagues must be included in the coaching process, as continuous improvement requires the continuous development of the entire system. In many companies, it is advisable that colleagues should manage alpha behavior, which inadvertently allows and perpetuates bad patterns. But while colleagues may hate the behavior Alpha is learning to modify, at least that's predictable. When Alpha's behavior begins to change as a result of coaching, he becomes unpredictable. Unless they are included in the coaching process, this can be very upsetting for colleagues.
Alpha has a daunting personality and true strength, and they want the world to show them proper respect. But coaches should avoid a third trap at all costs – dragging. Building constructive or irrelevant relationships can be different. It was with George Allen, the former deputy commander of the Philadelphia Defense Supplies Center, a $10 billion operation of the Defense Logistics Agency. George is the typical alpha male. In our first meeting, he rushed into the room, ignoring our outstretched hands, and then announced, "Don't waste my time and your time." I've been here for over 30 years and I have very little chance of changing. ”
Instead of trying to convince him to sit down and review the organizational feedback we brought in, we said, "That's good. You're busy, and of course we can use those four hours to do other work. If you don't want to make any changes, don't waste your or our time. "We started closing the big binder filled with brightly colored charts that depicted his strengths and weaknesses." await! He ordered." What is that? "The shift in interest is our first step towards establishing an effective coaching program.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the right way to coach</h1>
Any supervisor with relationship problems is likely to get feedback about them many times before we come out, so he either never fully understands the problem or doesn't see any benefit of change. Over the past 14 years, we've improved the process of coaching Alpha to address their personality quirks and help them understand why they need to change their behavior.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > caught his attention. </h1>
The best way to attract alpha male attention is data – massive, credible, consistent data. That's why we always get 360-degree feedback from our customers. We interviewed all of Alpha's direct reports, to his direct reports of the six high potentials, all of his business unit colleagues, and anyone in the organization that competed with him. Our goal is to provide undeniable evidence that his actions (the ones to which he is attached) do not work as well as he thinks. We let the data determine our problems. For example, if we were told he was a bad communicator, we would ask for specific details: Would he bother someone? Is he vague? Doesn't he listen? Is he unable to share information? We then asked him about the effects of poor communication skills: How did his rapid-fire style affect your work?
The 360-degree assessment is a wake-up call for most Alphas. They said, "Wow, these are the people I believe in — great performers — do they have such thoughts about me?" I can't believe they're afraid to back down, or they think I'm stubborn and dismissive of their opinions. ”
Wow, these are people I deeply admire, and they think this is for me?
< H1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > asked for his commitment. </h1>
Once we get alpha's attention in this way, we have the leverage he needs to solve unpleasant problems. Since he is both pragmatic and enterprising, if you can show him an easy way to produce instant results, he will usually accept it. However, until we take further steps, we stand by Alpha's full commitment to the process of change. We articulate his intentions with two simple questions: Do you want to change? Would you like to do anything, including allowing us to help you?
We wait until it is clear yes or no, pointing out any nonverbal implications that imply that he is not guilty (e.g., shaking our heads in denial and saying "yes"). If the answer is no, we will not continue. Trying to work with a defense leader who is reluctant to change will only waste our time and his company's money.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > speak his language. </h1>
Since Alpha considers charts, graphs, and indicators to maximize its impact, we present the data in the form of Anphaspeak. We turned the feedback we collected from 360-degree interviews into metrics and then flooded Alpha with quantitative data to make sure he valued enough information to take action on him. The exhibition "Communicating in Alphaspeak" summarizes the verbatim response to 360-degree feedback in a bar chart, illustrating in a powerful visual way the risks inherent in a single alpha style. He can immediately see his areas of strength highlighted in green, while areas in need of improvement are highlighted in red.
Communicate in Alphaspeak
< h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > hit him hard and injured him. </h1>
After providing 360-degree feedback graphically, we will review and discuss verbatim annotations from his colleagues and organize them by ability and topic. Alpha may encounter statements such as "He's smart, but he doesn't know anything about people"; "We feel like we're all overwhelmed by coal"; and "He needs to have rational arguments and always prove his rights alienate the team." We deliberately retained the emotional language we heard to help Alpha realize the consequences of his actions. Throughout their careers, many Alphas have been providing feedback at a 2-to-4 ratio, and our processes can help them. Because they believe that "there is no gain without pain," they respond very well to tough language. We regulate the level of pain, keeping it high enough to cause them to be engrossed, while also proposing changes that can be achieved. This is where verbal service often gives way to true understanding. One of our first Alpha clients summed it up in a memorable summary: "It's like I already have relationships!" Until now, I hadn't understood how bad it was. ”
It's like I'm human! I just never understood how bad that was.
< h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > stimulate his curiosity and competitive instincts. </h1>
Excessive feedback always triggers defenses. Alpha generally thinks everyone else can defend, and he's just telling the truth. We pointed out signs of his own defensive abilities and showed him how this way of thinking prevented him from learning. Another Alpha measurement tool, the Defensiveness-Openness scale, has proven to be very effective in attracting alpha leaders' competitive instincts. (See the exhibition "How defensive are you?") ”。 Defensive behaviors, such as making lengthy explanations, expressing subtle reproach, or trying to figure out who made the comments all earned low scores. Ask Alpha to monitor his defenses, motivating him to observe how quickly he can catch himself and shift to a more open mind.
How defensive are you?
< h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > the five steps of alpha growth</h1>
To make a difference, alphas must become more aware of their own motivations, be more open to opposing views of their peers, and be more openly challenged. He must also learn to provide useful feedback, not traumatic feedback. When mentoring Alpha clients, we focus on five goals that will help him become an active leader in an effective team.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > admit vulnerabilities. </h1>
In our experience, the impact on Alpha's team was very positive when he admitted he was scared or asked for help. So when Alpha expresses fear or exposes vulnerability, this is a key milestone.
After Michael Dell and Kevin Rollins shared the results of 360 with the executive team and, ultimately, with thousands of Dell managers, Dell's corporate culture began to change. Exposing their flaws is uncomfortable for them, but this kind of action makes them human in the eyes of the team and makes them more inspiring to the rest of the organization.
As one general manager recently commented: "Since Michael and Kevin have shared their feedback with us, we are all sharing our results with our own team." All of us have become more open, which builds camaraderie and trust. Knowing that my colleagues are trying to change their leadership style also makes it easier for me to point out behaviors that annoy me. When it was revealed that he would regularly shoot at the meeting and wanted to stop, all of us could call him. We did it. ”
It's only natural for alpha to want coaches and feedback to remain private. But the motivations of his colleagues cannot be ignored. Some may want to settle scores, others may want Alpha to finally acknowledge all their hard work, and some may even want the soap opera to continue. Public disclosure helps clear the air and moves the entire organization forward.
When Alpha revealed features he was working on improving, it helped convince his team that he was serious about the change. Questions in Alpha, such as "How can I support you?" "How can I better contact you?" or "How can I guide you more effectively?" ”。 Resolve old grudges in new ways and open entirely new conversations across the organization. The stronger and more dominant the executive, the stronger the impact of disclosure.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > accountable. </h1>
Alphas tend to take responsibility for their own performance, but they have a hard time taking responsibility for their impact on the performance of others. We never found alpha or anyone else who didn't try to shift the blame for the performance issue to someone else. Responsibility is often subtle, but as long as it stays below the surface, the problem will not be corrected. In fact, unless Alpha accepts ownership to solve his problems, it will never go away.
When considering accountability, we recommend that Alpha use "three rules": if a problem occurs only once (for example, if someone on the team misses an important deadline), it is likely that the other person is solely responsible. However, if it happens three times (e.g., the same person misses three deadlines, or three people miss important deadlines), then Alpha has to take some responsibility and ask herself what she should do.
Alphas often pin pejorative labels to skills they don't possess in order to circumvent responsibility. For example, one Alpha client used "politics" as an excuse for not achieving certain goals. We helped him see that it wasn't a political issue, the real problem was that he had only one tool to get what he wanted: a hammer. "Politics" is a smokescreen because it doesn't know how to persuade people to change their views.
The speech took so long was simply the irony of Alpha, who often read ahead of time to think they had understood the main points and interrupted the speaker before they could adequately exchange information. Instead of sympathizing with Alpha's impatience, we point out that a leader's job is to teach his team how to present information appropriately. We helpEd Alpha distinguish between blame and advocacy for his due responsibilities. For example, if he finds himself complaining that the meeting is too long to run on time, we ask him to see how he wastes his time and ask him to consider what additional guidance or guidance he might provide to his organization to correct the problem. If he is frustrated that others do not understand the seriousness of the problem, we ask him if he has communicated in a mobilized manner. When he was angry that his peers wouldn't even avoid major issues and revise past decisions, we asked him if he had expressed his views so that people would be willing to help him. When he feels the need to criticize a method or process, we encourage him to contribute his ideas. The most powerful step alpha can take is to assume that anything created "out there" is a direct result of what he has already done (or hasn't done), not just someone else's fault. We encourage him to contribute his ideas. The most powerful step alpha can take is to assume that anything created "out there" is a direct result of what he has already done (or hasn't done), not just someone else's fault. We encourage him to contribute his ideas. The most powerful step alpha can take is to assume that anything created "out there" is a direct result of what he has already done (or hasn't done), not just someone else's fault.
Paradoxically, when a leader admits that he was wrong and needs to change, he will have more confidence and courage in himself than he does in sticking to his point of view. Rear Admiral Dan McCarthy of the U.S. Navy's Supply Systems Command asked us to help him improve communications processes in light of the new challenges of Operation Enduring Freedom. The admiral, a big, strong personality, initially responded to feedback in a panel of 30 senior executives and gave lengthy explanations and defenses. But he seized on himself, openly admitted his defense, and took full responsibility for the problem and the contribution of his style to the problem. Initially surprised, his team members quickly began to follow his example, identifying ways in which they could each improve communication.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > associated with underlying emotions. </h1>
Alpha doesn't like emotions because they can't control them. He believes they hinder logic and influence decision-making. He will acknowledge that they play a role in motivating certain people, such as sales rallies. But they didn't do much to motivate him, which made him distrust them. Ironically, however, Alpha is often filled with unacknowledged emotions, which actually obscures his judgment. Before the emotions were provoked, he tended to be disconnected from his feelings. Under this anger, other emotions are usually lurking. Sometimes, worry that his company may be going the wrong way. Sometimes it's disappointing that he hasn't coached his team more effectively. This subconscious fear and anxiety can be a real problem for Alpha, as these feelings can be confused with intuition.
Our coach focuses on getting Alpha to recognize its underlying emotions long before a big outburst, when Alpha is still at an ni-ing, straightforward level of introversion. Connecting emotions to physical sensations makes the process seem more concrete. If we can help Alpha feel an emotion more fully, it's less likely to explode at inappropriate moments. If Alpha can tell him when to start aggravating feelings, he can guide them constructively and avoid tantrums.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > strike a balance between positive and critical feedback. </h1>
Alpha will feel uncomfortable giving and receiving praise, and they will be determined not to appear soft. A strong manager, they say, is happy to "say it as is." As a result, about 80 percent of the conversations an Alpha leader had with his team would contain critical opinions.
The fundamental reason Alpha is reluctant to express gratitude is that he doesn't need or doesn't respond to positive feedback. We helped Alpha see people reflexively react to criticism in a defensive and resistive way, and the balance between positive and negative feedback is more likely to motivate people to make a change. We're not going to try to replace all alpha criticisms with validation. We want him to use it at the same time.
One of the great Alpha executives we recently coached had an extraordinary ability to identify what was missing in a business solution. This has led his team to dozens of technological breakthroughs, but it has not been enough to inspire individual performance or the dedication of his employees. After many trainings, we began to notice that although he was generally open to our ideas and willing to take action, there wasn't much fun working with him. His lack of feedback or acknowledgment is all frustrating for us.
When we shared this insight with him, he felt dumbfounded. "But I've been with you. If I didn't think I could benefit from it, I wouldn't have done that. His words made sense, but what was obvious to him was not obvious to us. At that point, he realized that his tendency to criticize rather than confirm it was triggering self-doubt and fear among his most valuable team members. As a result, he listed his appreciation for everyone on the team, not feedback on a specific task, but comments that better reflected each person's overall talent and contributions, and shared that information publicly. His team now enjoys a spirit they never had before.
Jim Gibbons, president and CEO of the National Blind Industries Association, is a rare alpha who could easily applaud. In off-site team building activities, he hopes that the entire executive team can experience the power of praise. Therefore, we asked all attendees to record their energy levels before and after 20 minutes, during which time each of them thanked everyone in the room. Despite the doubts, the team complied. At the end of the exercise, to everyone's surprise, everyone reported a higher level of energy and optimism. Every team we work with reports similar results.
Since Alpha tends to think of everyone else as he is, he often worries that people will equate praise with manipulation. He feared that if he told someone they were doing a good job, it would be greatly discounted and that they would stop working so hard and might even want more money. We helped Alpha identify his fear of showing appreciation by having him complete two sentences:
When people appreciate me, I often think of ________
If I thank someone, I worry about ________________
We then worked with him to identify the barriers he had set up to gain appreciation. These can include discounting, deflecting, letting go of yourself, explaining, distracting, joking, and fighting back by reciprocating. Finally, we help him learn to express appreciation effectively. Extended versions of "good work" are usually not enough to motivate people. We tell the client to list all the people on the team and all the companions he relies on for success. We then asked him to write down his values in each person. For maximum impact, such feedback must be truthful and specific. It must illustrate how an individual's performance helps alpha and business. Alpha then has to express his positive feelings to the individual, reiterating his appreciation multiple times in different wording so that the person can truly "get it."
Extended versions of "good work" are usually not enough to motivate people.
< h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > aware of patterns. </h1>
David is an inspiring and insightful CEO, but he also has temper problems. He was usually warm and easy to get along with, but in tense meetings he would always get angry, blush, and intimidate people with a sharp intermittent tone, even if he never threatened. To help David become aware of this destructive pattern of behavior, we looked to its roots. We ask him to recall the first time he ever reacted in this way, remembering that his six-hundred-year-old brother, who was four years old, was hit on the head by his brother after stealing a David's toy a hundred times. His brother never did it again. David burst out laughing when he realized that he had basically been using the same way since then. He acknowledges that this approach is unlikely to inspire his senior executives.
People tend to play a series of dramatic, predictable roles that stem from the dynamics of the family and school they grew up in. Many interpersonal problems in the workplace stem from people subconsciously pasting images of family members onto co-workers. To junior executives, alpha can look like a demanding father, or spark sibling rivalry among peers. Almost no one is immune to these subtle family dynamics at work. They lobbied, vented, and complained behind the scenes, which is characteristic of many organizations.
We all see or see roles through role-playing – by playing the role we play or by others seeing the role we play. They behave like distorted shots and color the world as needed. Rebels reflexively believe that the world is full of people to deal with. The driver believes that the world needs supervision and discipline. Jock thinks others are winners or losers. Our projections are intertwined with other projections, so true connection and communication become almost impossible.
To address this, we told Alpha that any extreme behavior or recurring pattern indicates one of his own roles. By naming the characters and revealing how they work, we can begin to make Alpha more aware of his behavior. For example, if bulldozers think it's necessary to do the right thing, they'll plow down among people. Then some of their team members complained about the victims, who hid good ideas because they didn't want to be knocked down by bulldozers.
Getting team members to abandon these useless roles is a byproduct of coach Alpha. The executive team of Fortune 500 pharmaceutical companies, which has been trained in many roles, is debating whether to proceed with new acquisitions. As the discussions grew more intense, the group split into polarized camps. CEOs and COOs worked hard for acquisitions, while conservative executives backed off. The room was full of nervous sounds. Suddenly, a finance minister, a rough CFO waving his arms and yelling, caught the attention of the room. Rant and Rave are about to show up and I can't stop him! ”
Laughter immediately broke the tension. By naming himself a scary character, he stepped skillfully. His sense of self cleared the way for the group to review the facts with a cool head. As a result, the CEO relinquished his Wheeler-Dealer role, while the CEO and COO acknowledged the original position, thus avoiding risky acquisitions. If an unconscious version of Rot and Mr. Rave appeared, no one would laugh. Other team members will escalate the play, tune him out, or disappear, and the goal of the meeting will be forgotten. Instead, his awareness and honesty prompted others to abandon their own defenses and move toward constructive solutions.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > coaches' expectations</h1>
Prospects often ask how long the coaching process will take and what kind of medium-term results they can expect. The answers vary depending on multiple factors, such as how involved the organization is in the training process, how loyal individuals are to it, and how culturally receptive the company is. For some Alphas, 360-degree feedback is required, followed by a half-day coaching session and a few phone calls to make obvious changes. Less self-aware Alpha usually requires half a day of coaching each month for 3 to 12 months.
Changes in behavior typically begin to show in three to six months, as the client harvests low-hanging fruit from our initial coaching efforts. Sustained changes take about a year. But the goal of coaching is to change the entire team dynamic, not simply to treat the alpha as an individual problem. After two years, an organization can be well on its way to transformation, with a dysfunctional and combative executive team turning into a collaborative and trusting one.
Alpha's time and attention span is limited, and it's not unusual for him to start the process by speaking only verbally about coaching goals and avoiding fully committing to the necessary behavioral changes. He needs to determine the appropriate situations in which he can begin to apply new tools and methods. Once Alpha gets to this point, you can count on him to keep going. When he began to see the results of his own behavioral changes, he set in motion a powerful cycle that reverberated throughout the organization.