Foreword: What is the difference between a first marriage and a second marriage? Probably because there has been a big change in mentality, when you are young, you only consider whether the two are suitable and whether they are in love, but when you are older, you will be more thoughtful about the second marriage, and you will worry more.
01 Ms. Jiang, aged 43
My ex-husband and I have been divorced for some time and my son has followed him. I was alone but lonely, so not long ago I had the idea of remarrying.
Although I am in my 40s, I am well maintained and look like I am in my early 30s, so with my conditions, I quickly found the right man.
He and I have similar emotional experiences, both divorced, but the difference is that he brings his daughter. My daughter is in her teens and is now boarding at a private school, and she doesn't usually spend much time taking care of her.
He and I also had a lot of private space, and after getting along, we both felt that the other person was a suitable person to live, so I lived with him.
Probably because of age and experience, after I lived with him, it was not as sweet and loving as I thought, but everything was natural and life was very plain.
This bland way of getting along with him and me makes me feel depressed, and the purpose of my wanting to remarry is to find someone who really loves me and a lover who will go forward firmly in the future. Instead of living with a man with whom I don't have deep feelings.
Now, I'm hesitant to marry him, and I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision.
02 Ms. Liang, aged 56
When my son became a family, I just retired, and then he gave birth to a big fat son, and I also helped him take care of his grandson, and now the grandson is in kindergarten, and he doesn't need me to take care of it during the day, and at night he is also taken care of by his daughter-in-law.
I felt that since I was not needed, there was no reason for me to continue to live in his house. Although my son said that I lived together to take care of each other, I felt that my daughter-in-law was not very happy.
After I moved back to my hometown to live alone, I often felt lonely. At that time, Alian, who had lived next door to me for decades, suddenly said that he wanted to introduce me to an object, and the two of them were good to have a companion.
I thought to myself, maybe it's a good thing. In this way, I met the 60-year-old Old Zhao, and slowly got along for a while, we all felt that we were compatible with each other's temperament, and we also had the idea of working together.
Soon, we were staying together. I started my hard work again, cooking for Old Zhao every day and doing housework, although tired, but I was more comfortable doing things.
But after living together for a long time, I began to have my anxiety. Old Zhao and I are just living together, no name and no part, if he leaves in the future, what should I do in life?
My pension is only less than two thousand, my son is unreliable, a year will take a few hundred and one thousand filial piety to me, and now I live in his house without illness and pain, my daughter-in-law is not happy, if I am old in the future, I will be even more disliked.
Maybe at my age to find a partner, the most feared thing is that there is no name, no share, no real dependence, and I can't imagine how to live after I am old.
Conclusion: Middle-aged Ms. Jiang is afraid of the kind of days when she sees the end at a glance and has no waves, afraid that she will not love each other enough, and a little difficulty can destroy the marriage between the two.
The elderly Ms. Liang is afraid that the old have no one to rely on, no security, worry about the views of her children, and so on.
But whether it is middle age, old age, or first marriage, second marriage, only when you meet a suitable person, are willing to pay and be honest with each other, the relationship can be maintained for a long time.
Although there are concerns, but should not retreat, the pursuit of happiness is everyone's right, be cautious but also have hope. I hope that everyone who enters into marriage can truly find their own warm home.