Author: Hu Shi
What kind of dad is a good dad?
The good father in most people's hearts may come from the language textbook, Zhu Ziqing's "Back Shadow". People who love movies can probably list a bunch of movies related to their fathers, such as "Beautiful Life", "When Happiness Knocks", "Big Fish", "Wrestle, Daddy" and so on.
There are also many Chinese movies about father and son, but many of these fathers are not a good father, for example, Gu Tianle has a movie called "A Good Father", in which he plays a triad boss. Although he is very spoiled for his wife and daughter, he is really not a good father.
Similarly, Guan Hu's "Old Cannon", Han Han's "Riding the Wind and Waves", and Cao Baoping's "Dog Thirteen" in the father are all bad father images. In 1988, Shanghai Television produced a TV series called "Good Dad, Bad Dad", the theme song of which is still widely circulated, called "I Have a Good Dad". This is a well-known children's song of ruining the three views, and the lyrics "Which father does not scold, which child does not get beaten" reflects the typical Chinese parental education methods. Of course, many "bad dads" are also helpless, who doesn't want to be a good dad?
Most of the father figures mentioned above are far away from our time. In China, most boys' relationships with their fathers are not bad or very good. Even if you grow up and become a new father, you are helpless in the face of your son. In today's society, how to be a good father is indeed a very deep knowledge. It is Kore-eda's film "Like a Father Like a Son" that inadvertently teaches novice fathers how to be good fathers.
I consulted a friend who studied Japanese, and the Japanese character of the movie "そして父になる" literally translates to "So, I became a father". Just looking at this literal translation of the title is somewhat inexplicable, the Hong Kong version of the translated title is from the perspective of the child, translated into "Who Changed My Father", Taiwan is also translated as "My Accidental Father".
The English translation is very similar to the translated name imported in China, but "Like Father, Like Son" is obviously not as full of deep meaning as "Like Father Like Son". Every father is also a father for the first time, once they were just little boys, they became fathers and sons at the same time. In the movie, for the child, is the stranger who suddenly appears the father? Like a father, he had to nurture himself. On the other hand, for the father, on the one hand, the sudden appearance of the biological son, on the other hand, the six-year upbringing, like a biological child, how to choose? The translation of "Like a Father Like a Son" will feel more meaningful after watching this film.
The newborn baby was dropped, two children of different origins, two families, completely changed their fate because of the jealousy of a nurse. It is Kore-eda's magic that this Qiongyao-style family ethics plot is made into an affectionate literary film, and it also won the Jury Prize in the main competition unit of the 66th Cannes Film Festival. The script still maintains that the plot is paved everywhere, and each prop and line has a detailed effect. It is Kore-eda who still insists on using the form of film expression, and the lens language combines dynamic and static, full of delicate emotions, like his predecessor Yasujiro Ozu.
Compared with Kore-eda's other films, such as "Nobody Knows" and "Thief Family", the story of "Like a Father Like a Son" does not explore social issues more, but like "Walking Non-Stop" and "Deeper Than the Sea", it tells the emotions and entanglements of three generations of father and son. Kore-eda seems to be better at this kind of family drama that expresses the feelings between father and son, of course, South Korean director Bong Joon-ho said that Kore-eda's films are far beyond the meaning of "family movies", if you rename the two films "Walking Non-Stop" and "Deeper Than the Sea" to "Like Father Like Son", there seems to be nothing wrong with it.
In addition, the acting skills of each actor in this film are expressed very appropriately, and Masaharu Fukuyama and Masaya Nakagawa, the two fathers who are contrasts, naturally do not need to say much, especially Masaya Nakagawa, who is not married or has children in real life, but can play a father well in the movie. The only drawback is that Masaharu Fukuyama looks too young, and in the novel, Ryoto Nomiya is 42 years old, 13 years away from his wife Midori, and in the movie, it seems that the age of the couple is almost the same. Moreover, Masaharu Fukuyama always has a little sense of detective Galileo, which is easy to make people play.
Children have always been the most important part of Kore-eda's films, and the actor Ninomiya Keita (well, he was originally called Keita), who plays Keita in this film, shows the various actions of a child with a flattering personality, which is where most of the tears in the film lie. In some interviews, Kore-eda has said that he never sends scripts to young actors, but only dictates the plot and lets the young actors express them in their own way, so that children can show their true emotions. Therefore, in his films, every child does not seem to be deliberately acting, which makes Kore-eda also known as a "children's film master".
Of course, the narrative perspective of the film is still from the perspective of adults, especially the protagonist Nomiya, and the film spends more time showing the mental journey of a "rich father" and a "strict father". From Ryodo's attempt to win over two children, to giving up Gyeongta, and learning to get along with Ryuharu, to confessing her feelings to Gyeongdo. From restraint to confession, it is also interspersed with a lot of experiences about his original family, giving us a more comprehensive understanding of his life trajectory.
If many fathers stay away from splurge and gambling when they are young, they will not change themselves from the "rich generation" to the "negative generation", perhaps many fathers will naturally become the real "rich second generation", have a better childhood, and do not have to study hard and work hard beyond ordinary people. But the adult world is so cruel, he is full of contradictions with his father, and he is not at peace with his stepmother. He changed his fate completely on his own, and naturally looked down on anyone. When he has a child, he expects the child to be as good as himself, and I am excellent, so my child must also be excellent.
Therefore, in the Nomiya family, the chicken baby is the first priority, but some of the behaviors of the Nomiya family, such as pre-test counseling in order to enter a private primary school, are really not worth mentioning for Chinese parents who are more good at chicken babies. Only Gyeongta's ability to stand on his own feet is somewhat surprising, especially for a six-year-old. He can take a bath alone, he can not be tempted by snacks, he can open the bottle cap himself, especially when playing games. There are no children who are not playful, and this self-discipline of Gyeongdo is amazing.
In the Nomiya family, many appear in the form of a "strict father" and have obvious absolute power. But from the perspective of the daily dialogue between father and son, many fathers have their own set of godson methods, in fact, they follow the "positive discipline" method of American educator Jane Nelson, remain kind and firm in the educational process, can control emotions, and use language that children can understand to talk to children. These advantages alone can defeat many grumpy, unwilling fathers, and Gyeongdo's character, conversation, and habit formation stem from these educational methods.
It's just that excellent people must always be excellent in the company, and many chicken babies must also be chickens. Daily 996 can only be exchanged for the family's food and clothing, which is also the helplessness of middle-aged men, and accompanying children is really a luxury for many. Many people use their personal excellence to set an example for their children, but for a sensitive child like Gyeongta, although he understands that his father needs to work, he really wants his father's company.
In the novel, there is a passage describing when Keita first arrives at Saiki's house, and he is very uncomfortable with the lively family atmosphere. It turns out that qingduo and green in the daily life at home, either green to play with Qingduo, or two people quietly reading. So in Gyeongta's eyes, adults have no friends. Of course, his parents are not really without friends, but they are fully committed to their work, and Green is willing to spend more time on Gyeongdo, giving up his personal life and completely surrounding the child. Giving up personal life for the sake of children, this kind of chicken doll way is not uncommon in Eastern society.
In this way, we must admit that many are good dads, but for the audience, dads who can't accompany their children are bad dads. Therefore, in order to create this dramatic conflict, Nakagawa Masa also appeared as a "poor father" and a "loving father", his appearance seems to be a kind of funny responsibility, typical of the small citizen class, love is late, there is no concept of time, and the first consideration before the exchange is the issue of compensation. When Ryota Nomiya said, "There are all kinds of father-son relationships in the world", the director also deliberately told the audience: Oh, there are two different fathers in the movie now!
This father has many shortcomings, will not control the child's healthy diet, does not limit the game time, the education method is too casual and free, and he can actually spit qingduo with bath water, this scene is bound to be reprimanded by mothers. His wife, Yukari, was 14 years younger than him and often ranted, shouting and patting his head in disciplining disobedient children. Therefore, in such a family environment, Liu Qing seems to be a country bear child with no rules. After arriving at Nomiya's house, many had to reformulate the rules, including not being able to drink Coke at home, bathing themselves, and learning how to use chopsticks again.
Nevertheless, Saiki Yudai has an advantage that Nomiya does not have, that is, he can spend a lot of time playing with his children, and in the eyes of this "poor father", children are time. Many people may emphasize effective companionship rather than fooling around with children, and the power of the father's example is more important. Compared with many excellent workplace elites, this type of father does not seem to have a positive guiding effect on children. But for children, being able to play with themselves is a good father.
In the movie, Saiki Yudai also has a lot of golden sentences, he tells Ryoto: You don't need to be like your father, you don't need to create a family now. He didn't know much about his native family, but many of his fathers' ideas were interconnected, so there was a scene where one dad told another dad how to become a father.
Kore-eda does not want to hold one and step on one, nor does he have any intention of talking about which is better, "poor dad" or "rich dad", but in this story, he carefully presents the multiple styles of a father. Men can't be the perfect dad but will try to be a reliable good dad and look for ways to be a "good dad" in relationships with their kids. It was Kore-eda who, before filming this film, was thinking, "What does it mean to be a father?" "This topic.
We can also get that kind of thinking from the movie, and much more. For example, is blood more important, or is family affection important? Is money important, role models important, or companionship more important? Is it strict self-discipline or a free and casual parenting style? The movie doesn't give us the answer directly, just like the final ending of the movie, what will be the future of the two families, two children?
We can't judge their choices, much less make them. It's just that we can use film to experience this kind of father's sorrow and child's affection. When we look back at our children, we may also be able to re-examine the identity of parenthood and experience the feeling of being like a father and a son.
bibliography
[1] Yes Kore-eda: Starting Here Again / (Japanese) by Kore-eda kazumi; Kuang Kuang Translation . ——Shanghai: Oriental Publishing Center, June 2019
[2] If the father is like a son / (Day) is Kore-eda; (Day) Sano Jing; Dan Yong translation . ——Hunan Literature and Art Publishing House, 2018.4
(Image from the Internet, copyright belongs to the original author)