Previously, Huang Xiaoming frequently appeared on the hot search because of Ming-style quotations, which triggered public ridicule.
The TOP5 of the "Classic Quotations of Mingxue" is as follows:
1, I don't want you to feel, I want me to feel.
2, you don't make trouble, just like that, listen to me.
3, I don't think this is a problem!
4, this is your problem, you must solve!
5, this issue does not need to be discussed, all listen to me.
Reminiscent of 2013, he told comedian Leng Bowl on "The Voice of Chinese Dreams": "Although you look very heavy, your singing voice is small and fresh." ”
Obviously, there was something wrong with the way he spoke.
In fact, not only Huang Xiaoming, many people have the problem of not being able to speak. The light is discontentive, and the heavy is to destroy the intimate relationship. Losing your job and being broken up is commonplace.
There is a video on Douyin that tells such a story.
A person dreams that his teeth have fallen out of his mouth, and he wakes up in a very bad mood, afraid that something unlucky will happen.
So he told the dream to the people in the village who could interpret the dream, hoping to seek comfort.
The first person shook his head and sighed after listening to it, and was forced by him to be anxious before saying, "This dream means that after everyone in your family dies, you will die." ”
The man was so angry that he called his son to beat up the first man and drive him out the door.
He told the dream to the second person, and the second person congratulated him with a smile: "This is a good dream!" Meaning you will be the last person in your family to die. ”
The man was so happy that he deliberately asked his wife to prepare a sumptuous meal for the second person.
There is a similar story.
A family gives a child a full moon, and everyone comes to congratulate them.
Festive words poured into the courtyard like flowing water, until one person said, "This child will die in the future!" ”
The host's face changed drastically, and the guests were also very shocked, and hurriedly beat him out of the door.
The unpopular people in both stories are typical of people who can't speak. The terrible thing is that they do not know themselves, but pride themselves on being "straight".
So, why do some people cold as soon as they open their mouths, so unpopular? Are they really just "straight"?
Makoto Tanihara, a law graduate of Meiji University and a current lawyer, believes that chatting is a means of establishing a good relationship with the other party, in other words, there are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors to achieve this goal.
If you talk freely and make the other party feel annoying, you lose the meaning of chatting. Once you can't talk smoothly, it is necessary to confirm whether your way of speaking violates the following eight taboos.
(1) Talk to yourself.
The basic principle of chatting is to listen to the other person. In addition, explaining one's situation in a way that lifts one's own bottom is also an important way to shorten the distance between each other, but patronizing oneself will only discourage oneself.
People have a great time talking about themselves, so remember to make each other happy to talk about themselves.
Especially in the workplace, try to avoid self-talk. It's best to think of talking about yourself as a way to keep the conversation going, or to get the other person to speak again.
(2) Interrupt someone.
Dialogue is like passing the ball, listening to the other person's speech, and then responding to the content. Interrupting the opponent is like taking the ball that the opponent is about to throw and directly from his hand, which will seriously affect the other party's mood.
This kind of behavior is not necessarily malicious, and is usually a habit that people who like to talk are prone to. You can reflect on whether the way you speak also has such a problem.
(3) Replace it with your own words.
When chatting, you must be interested in what the other person is saying, and if you don't want to understand what the other person is trying to say, you can't talk. At best, their own words are used to continue the topic after listening to the other party.
For example, if the other person says, "I went to Disney last week...", and you immediately replace it with your own words, for example, "I also went, although people are crowded...", the other party must feel very disappointed.
(4) Deny the other party.
Chatting is different from discussing or negotiating, and there is no need to disagree or persuade the other person to accept their ideas. Therefore, you can't just express your own ideas and deny what the other party says. It is also inappropriate to use transitioning conjunctions such as "however" and "however".
(5) Desperately trying to overwhelm the other party.
For example, when the other person starts talking about their recent job, some people immediately say that their work is more important, and such people will make the other person feel uncomfortable. People who are accustomed to showing this attitude actually have a low self-evaluation. Their hearts are very lonely, and they cannot maintain self-esteem if they do not look down on convenience.
(6) Ask questions and ask questions again before the other party answers.
Dialogue is repeated questions and answers. However, when faced with the questions raised by others, some people often spend a long time thinking and cannot answer them for a long time.
At this time, some people, because they are extremely afraid of the embarrassment caused by silence, ask different questions before the other party has not answered, making the other party think of the answer for half a day useless. Therefore, after asking a question, please be patient and wait for the other person to answer.
(7) Keep asking.
There are people who do not provide their own information at all, do not develop the topic according to the other party's conversation, but just keep asking, making people feel a great sense of oppression, as if they are being interrogated by the police: what is your name, how old are you, and what do you do? After the other person answers, try to find the topic in the answer.
(8) Do not agree or agree.
Chat is not a rational, logical communication, but a sensual, resonant communication. Don't forget to nod your head sometimes, sometimes say "so it is", "just say it", etc., and agree with or be interested in what the other party says.
In addition, what other speaking skills are there?
Here are a few specially selected from "Talking People, All Have a Hanging Life" for your reference:
1, want to win the other party's favor, as long as the chat to highlight their own and the other party's similarity can be.
2, people like to contact people repeatedly, so creating opportunities for frequent contact is more important than any skill.
3, to the family, subordinates do not say "why you...", but to say "how to do ...", let the other party take the initiative to think of solutions.
4, less use of "but", "but", to use "right", "plus" and so on, to avoid frontal conflict.
5, no matter how good the relationship is, you must respect each other, do not use contemptuous words such as "you guy" and "you boy".
6, want to change the topic to take advantage of the other party's breathing, the main point is to affirm the other party first, and then change the topic.
There are a total of 60 speaking strategies in the book, taking the topic of daily life as an example, speaking case + scenario simulation, helping you effectively eliminate the tension of speaking, and you can become a popular person by following the study, and the life experience is very different from then on!
This book not only has the speaking skills that can be used, but also tells you the essential logic behind the art of speaking- the way of speaking, so that you can learn from this move and become a chat master.
Opportunity is fair to everyone, but talkers are better able to seize it.