<h1>First, the mysterious ghost culture</h1>
Ghost culture was once a folk cultural phenomenon with great power in China's ancient society.
The French scholar Grote said: "In Chinese, a doctrine of faith was established that the ghosts of the dead maintain the closest contact with the living, almost as closely as the living people came into contact with each other. Of course, there is a dividing line between the living and the dead, but this dividing line is so vague that it is almost indistinguishable. In any case, the interaction between the two worlds is very active. This intercourse is both a source of blessing and a source of evil, so that ghosts actually govern the fate of the living. ”
In fact, the influence of ghost culture does not stop there, and the political, philosophical, artistic, literary and other aspects of ancient Chinese society are all imprinted on it. Even in some remote mountainous areas today, some of the things of ghost culture are still accepted and passed on to varying degrees.
If we look at the whole world, we will find that ghost culture is a universal phenomenon of a universal nature. No matter which country or which nation, in history, without exception, there have been various ideas about the ghost world, there have been many behaviors such as ghost sacrifice, exorcism, ghost summoning, ghost taboos, etc., and there have been colorful ghost stories circulating. It can be said that it is an inevitable page to be opened in the long volume of the history of each nation.
Chinese once lived in the shadow of ghosts, and in the vast universe, there were ghosts and gods who were "invisible and silent". People have never been helpless against those mysterious things; On the other hand, as a supernatural entity, ghosts exert all kinds of influence on living people all the time, or protect or do evil deeds, so-called "the reward of ghosts and gods, no matter how big or small, must be rewarded; Therefore, as Grote puts it, "ghosts actually govern the fate of the living." Weak and poor beings, for the purpose of praying for blessings and avoiding harm, although they constantly set up layers of protective covers for themselves, such as the "rituals" that drive away and suppress powerful ghosts, as well as peach charms, spiny bows and other exorcisms, but more often they have to submit to ghosts, and use solemn funerals, rich funeral goods, sacrifices at four o'clock and other methods to please ghosts. As a result, many grotesque customs of charm have been formed, and the "dark marriage" of marrying a wife for a ghost is one of them.
<h1>Second, the origin of the custom of meditative marriage</h1>
The so-called "meditative marriage", also known as "meditative matching", "ghost marriage", "matching bone", "matching yin marriage", is a marriage freak generated by the mixing of the ancient marriage system and ghost beliefs.
Ancient Chinese thought that had the same marriage as the Yang world, so all men and women who were unmarried before death, after death, their parents and relatives sought a spouse and performed a wedding according to the marriage ceremony of the world, so that the dead man and woman had a wife and husband in had a wife and husband in hades.
This custom has a long history, as early as the "Zhou Li, Diguan, Media" has a legal provision that "prohibits the relocation of the burial, and the marriage and death".
Eastern Han Dynasty Zheng Xuan Zhuyun:
Moving the funeral means that the birth is not a husband and wife, and the death is buried and moved, so that they are subordinate. Those who die under the age of nineteen and who are not married, are not born with courtesy, and those who die together are also incest. ...... Those who marry the dead are also said to marry the dead, and now they will marry.
Tang Dynasty Kong Yingda Shuo:
Relocation is called adult widowhood, not husband and wife at birth, and married when dead. He who marries a martyr has died in the nineteenth year of his birth, and he who dies is married. Those who do not say anything about the marriage, the woman who is killed, the man can know also.
The two are the same in terms of "not being married at birth" and "marrying when they die", but the objects are slightly different: the burial is an adult man and woman over the age of twenty, who have no marital relationship with each other when they are alive, and when they die unmarried, their relatives are united, and their bones are buried in the same base cave, so that they can marry in hades. Marriage is for minors under the age of nineteen (in ancient China, men who performed the crown ceremony at the age of twenty were for adulthood, and the deceased under the age of nineteen were called "殇", which were divided into "upper martyrdom", "middle martyrdom" and "lower martyrdom". When they die unmarried, they are married by their relatives (usually parents) and become a husband and wife.
From the prohibition of "relocation and burial" and "marriage" in the "Zhou Li, DiGuan and Media Clan", it can be seen that at least in the Zhou Dynasty, the custom of meditative marriage was quite popular, but in this way, there was a ban on this. The beginning of the marriage is much earlier.
From the Zhou Dynasty system of "relocation of burials" and "marriage and funeral" to the Republic of China for more than 2,000 years, the trend of meditative marriage has flourished for a long time, and both the common people and the emperors and doctors have still been in this custom.
The most famous marriage in history is Cao Chong's marriage in 208 AD.
Cao Chong was Cao Cao's youngest son, a well-known prodigy, who was deeply favored by Cao Cao, but unfortunately Fu Qian's life was short, and he was only thirteen years old when he died, just when the chancellor Bing Yuan's daughter died early, Cao Cao found Feng Yuan and wanted to "bury" the two children together. Bing Yuan resigned: "Marrying and dying is not polite." Cao Cao was refused on the grounds of observing etiquette and observance. Cao Cao, of course, will not be bound by traditional classics, and finally find a Zhen girl for Cao Chong to bury with him.
Song Ren Zhou wrote a book called "Outer Representative Answers" to refute this ugly custom. The book also mentions the custom of "welcoming the lady of the grass", which is actually another form of meditative marriage, the bride married by the man of the martyr is not a woman, but a straw man who is like a girl with straw, and then married and buried with the man in accordance with the ceremony, so that the family will be established. It can be seen that during the time of Cao Wei, the custom of meditative marriage was popular.
There is no shortage of precedents for the marriage after Cao Wei. In the Tang Dynasty, meditative marriage was still popular. There were even divorces after the marriage, such as the "Old Book of Tang Xiao Zhizhong Biography", empress Dowager Wei quoted that "Wei Shuren also gave the deceased brother Wang Xun of Runan, and buried with zhizhong's daughter for the secret marriage." and the defeat of Webster; to the tomb of Zhongfa, holding his daughter coffin".
The popularity of the Tang Dynasty's meditative marriage is not only seen in historical facts, but also contained in the novel "Guangyi Ji" there is such a story, which shows that the custom of meditative marriage has been deeply rooted in the folk during the Sui and Tang dynasties.
It should be pointed out that the above-mentioned cases of meditative marriage belong to the emperor and doctor, not only this custom is popular in high society, but the custom of meditative marriage in previous generations is also popular in the folk, but the history is not recorded.
According to the book "Yesterday's Dream Record" written by Kang Yuzhi of the Song Dynasty, it is recorded that in the Southern Song Dynasty society, there was a kind of "ghost matchmaker" who specialized in the marriage business of unmarried and deceased men and women: "The northern custom of men and women who die unmarried and die, the two families order marriage and ask for it, called 'ghost matchmaker', the family is detailed, each with the fate of the parents. Pray and confess, debu is to make a dark robe, a men's crown belt, a women's skirt, etc...." The specifications are thoughtful and solemn. It is enough to prove the grandeur of folk marriage.
At the same time, Zheng Xuqing's "Shuyi" listed the secret marriage as "customized", although Tang Mingzong "deeply understood its wrongs and had the edict to correct it", but Zheng's move was enough to explain how popular the wind of meditation and marriage was in the society at that time.
He Guangyuan of the Five Dynasties also said in the "Records of the Precepts" that the wind of meditative marriage was very popular at that time, not only for the dead men and women, but also for the living and the clay statues:
Shu has Cao Xiaolian, traveled to the Temple of Li Bingxianggong in Guankou, and saw the three daughters of the earth sculpture, "beautiful but beautiful", so it refers to the third of them, "Willing to marry the little lady for the sake of meditation, a certain lifelong non-concubine." "Cao Xiaolian did not marry because he admired God's earthen women, "even when he was trapped, he regarded it as dung, and asked for an alliance under the spring." "It's an incredible thing.
After the Yuan Dynasty, there are many records of the secret marriage, from the "Travels of Marco Polo" to the "Yu Mo Even Talk" and "The Book of Che Xi".
In the Qing Dynasty, the popular "holding the lord and becoming a relative" was another form of meditative marriage. "Men and women of today, who have been employed by the unmarried and deceased, the woman or the Lord to become a relative, the male or the coffin to be buried. Although this is vulgar, it is also polite. ”
It can be seen that the secret marriage is no longer simply a man marrying a woman, but develops to the point where the living fiancée holds the god card of the deceased fiancé and completes the wedding ceremony, in other words, to marry the living to the dead. After marriage, this poor woman had to remain widowed for the rest of her life.
This kind of ugly custom, in the early years of the Republic of China, still prevailed in the folk, also known as "looking at the door widow". At that time, the custom of meditative marriage was not only popular, but also spread to various places with new names.
<h1>Third, the meditative marriage that has been passed down for thousands of years</h1>
In fact, the marriage of the underworld was indiscriminately coveted throughout the ages, and various records were varied, and there were still many records and reports until the year of the Republic of China. Here are only two examples to cite, one of which is that Huang Huajie's "Dark Marriage" published in the "Oriental Magazine" quotes Li Jinghan's "Dingxian Social Profile Survey" as describing the customs of meditative marriage in Hebei Province:
Marriage of yin relatives: Regardless of men and women, in the adult age, people who die without marriage, the family is limited by the custom of taking into account orphans and orphans not entering the ancestral grave, and they cannot bear to bury them on the edge of the ground to suffer alone, and because they have not been married, the family always feels that they can't stand them, and they have to think of giving the dead people a stepchild and continuing the incense, which is why there is a saying of "yin relatives".
In the 1930s and 1940s, the Beiping World Journal also often had such reports, which showed that the custom of meditative marriage in the Central Plains was still prevalent in the Republic of China.
Lu Hanbin said in "Interesting Talk on the Winter Solstice in Remote Areas of Zhejiang", referring to the customs of meditative marriage in Zhejiang:
...... When the residents of several townships and towns died tragically, her parents had to ask a matchmaker for her to find a "meditative husband", and only after finding the meditative husband could she restrain herself. And the deceased's husband was the official son-in-law of her parents, so she also had to have a choice; but most of the people who were willing to apply for her husband were poor children, because there were many brothers, and they were afraid that they would not have money to marry in the future. Therefore, when choosing a meditative husband, you can only pick young people with better conduct, and you can't talk about "the door is right". After the marriage husband found a proper match, when the matchmaker took him to the woman's house, he had the status of "cane student", but did not wear mourning clothes. The first thing he had to do was to set up the spiritual position of his meditative wife, cut off the eyebrows and fingernails of the meditative wife, wrap a small packet in red paper and put it in the "incense bowl" in front of the spiritual seat, and then "open the light" for her. While reciting the words, he dipped the paper twist core in oil and lit a fire for her meditator, who held this fire on her corpse from head to foot, from foot to head, and from head to foot, and the second time from head to foot, that is, the remnants of the fire were thrown into the incense bowl, and the "meditative marriage" ceremony began: after the funeral, the spiritual seat of the meditative wife was to be moved to his own home, and asked the Taoist priest to "choose the family hall" (after moving the package of eyebrows and nails in her incense bowl to a large incense burner in front of his ancestral card, commonly known as the "mother-in-law stove"),, She has his original status, and her name is also on the ancestral card, so she can enjoy the offerings and sacrifices of his descendants, and is not a "masterless and lonely soul".)
Find a "meditative marriage husband", that is, "marry a ghost woman", which is characterized by the marriage of a living man and a dead woman, and the ancient forms of marriage limited to "relocation and burial" and "funeral marriage" are different, which is a variant of meditative marriage, but it still belongs to the category of meditative marriage.
Meditation marriage is an "ancient feudal and superstitious type of marriage custom", and the corresponding social system is the basis for its survival, thus asserting that with the reform of the system and the innovation of the funeral system, this marriage custom has become a "historical relic". This is not the case, and even in today's society, customs persist stubbornly in remote villages and in some cities that are not remote. For example, after the Tangshan earthquake, the secret marriage was very popular in the local area, and ten years later, the place can still see the dark marriage activities, according to Gao Guofan's "Dunhuang Folklore":
On May 16, 1986, it was more than 10 o'clock in the previous year. A wedding ceremony was held in the residence of No. 6 Row 7, Hedong United Workshop, Hedong United Workshop, Lubei District, Tangshan City, Hebei Province.
A thunderclap of firecrackers ushered in several cars, and the front of the car was also pasted with big red happy characters, and two elderly couples walked down from the car, and a group of relatives and friends, and the old lady held a large frame. In the frame is a picture of a girl. It's beautiful and cute. Behind the old man and friends and relatives are moving futon dowries and so on.
The owner of the house came out to greet him, the old man name Feng Liwu, who was more than 60 years old, had worked in the tobacco and alcohol company, and was now retired; the old lady, who used to work at the cleaning station, was now retired at home, and the two of them welcomed the guests into the house.
The new house has been furnished. The door is pasted with two big red happy characters, the window is pasted with window flowers, the interior furniture is new, the most eye-catching thing is the single portrait of the man and woman hanging on the middle wall, the young man is called Feng Jianguo, 29 years old, Tangshan, the girl is called Zhang Hong, 19 years old, Tianjin people.
The host welcomes the guests into the new room, according to Tianjin customs, the bride should wear two red double happy word hair cards on her head, the person who sends relatives wears one, all female guests, each person has a red double happy word hair card on her hair.
A solemn and solemn wedding ceremony was held in the house. The emcee preached the meditation text, saying: "The bride and groom fell in love with each other when they were living in Tianjin First Swelling and Pain Hospital during the period of leukemia, and they loved so deeply, sincerely and warmly, and they were full of tears of love, the life they loved and the splendid youth. Zhang Hong, who died in August 1985, left a suicide note in his diary, asking for permission to marry, Zhang Hong's parents served and cared for Feng Jianguo in tears until Feng Jianguo died in May 1986. Before his death, he also requested to marry Zhang Hong forever after his death. Now the parents, relatives and friends of both sides have decided to fulfill their wishes and complete the marriage for them. Now let us all bless them and wish them eternal happiness, and we all raise a glass and drink this cup of happy wine. So everyone toasted.
After the wedding ceremony, the female guests took off the red double happy character hairpin in their hair. On the wall in the middle of the new room, a wedding portrait of the bride and groom with a black edge is hung. This is a single portrait of the two of them, taken to the photo studio, specially processed, enlarged into a composite image.
Then, the parents of both sides opened the two urns separately, merged the ashes, and the male parents produced a few feet of red cloth, wrapped the urn, and relatives and friends put a few bouquets of flowers next to the urn.
At this time, a few musicians who had been hired were called, blown, and began to organize funerals, holding memorial ceremonies, and everyone held a silent mourning, salute, and mourning to the remains and urns.
After the celebration and then the funeral, the urn of the bride and groom will continue to be placed in the young man's "new house", and everyone will leave. The woman did not ask for a bride price.
There are also many "modern factors" infiltrated in this marriage ceremony.
In recent years, some media have also reported on the resurgence of the bad habit of meditative marriage in some areas. Even because of the secret marriage derived from the "corpse theft" industry.
In fact, the custom of meditative marriage is not only popular in ancient China, but also affects some countries around China, South Korean actress Zheng Dobin hanged herself in 2007, and her parents held a meditative marriage for her in 2011, targeting Wen Jae-sung, who died in 2002.
<h1>Fourth, the reasons for the spread of secret marriage</h1>
What is the root cause of the custom of meditative marriage (including various variations) that has been popular for more than 2,000 years?
The researchers have two views. First, it is a manifestation of parents' pity for their children. For example, Ma Zhixiao's "Chinese Marriage Customs" says: "(Meditative marriage) is obviously too much for parents to love their children, and it is intended to relieve the psychological pain of dying for their children in this way."
Second, it is a product of the feudal social system. Some scholars say that meditative marriage is "an ancient feudal and superstitious type of marriage custom" and "first of all depends on the changes in the social system, and the rise and fall of meditative marriage is based on this."
It should be said that they all tell certain facts, but I think the deeper reason lies in the aspect of faith, that is, the basis of the ghost belief that is still popular in Chinese society. So we say that meditative marriage is a mixture of idol marriage and ghost beliefs.
Although the secret marriage contains the sustenance and consolation of the living to the dead, it is essentially an ugly custom and has long been eliminated by civilized society. It is true that the living still have inseparable feelings for their deceased relatives and friends, but we should take a civilized approach to pay tribute, maintain a heart of reverence for the deceased, and comfort for the undead.
The commemoration of dead relatives is based on the first good life of the living. The unwarranted happiness of the dead cannot be based on the suffering of the living, whether it is to make young girls widowed or to steal corpses, so that living relatives can not live forever.
Confucius has always been considered to be old and stubborn, he stuck to the elaborate etiquette system of the previous dynasty, and in the chaotic spring and autumn, there was only an untimely renyi gangchang with a full stomach. But his indifferent attitude toward life and death can still be used two thousand years later to exhort those who pretend to be "traditional customs": "Unknown birth, knowing death? ”