Tachibana pushed an article last week,
Teach the star chaser how to play (make up) a bright and blind resume,
The effect is good (I want to see the point here "But if you write like this, you won't be unable to find a job")
But outside the realm of star chasing,
Someone has already mastered:
Resume innovation thinking, reverse packaging thinking,
The language is not surprising and endless, and no routine is the biggest routine
When we are young and ignorant, we are always so soft and innocent and wild and naked in the face of the world,
Can't understand the twists and turns of adults,
Whatever you want, I will do▽▽
Want my mom and dad phone number?
Come on
I'm very vigilant↓
People who have not experienced social beatings,
Even the resume reveals a strong sense of self-confidence,
The so-called lying does not blush, deceive people do not blink,
I'm talking about the following one
Eight years of calligraphy?
Where did you practice?
Did you practice in the Douban group?
But there are also people who are smaller,
The momentum is weak,
I don't know how to play my own strengths,
Chinese graduated from the department and said that he could read ancient Chinese and ancient poems.
What's the difference ♀️ between saying you're going to climb over a wall and say you're a computer science graduate
You don't mention it.
There are really people who write "jailbreak" and "brush machine" in the IT skills column,
(Ah, this, it seems, is not impossible?) ）
Walking the rivers and lakes,
Come out and eat a mouthful of rice,
Physical strength can't keep up with how to do it
Although you can stay up to 78.5 hours in a row▼
But I can cut off my parenthood for work
After all, after work, the company became a father?
Directly introduce the above two to a suitable job
In addition to bursting liver and staying up late,
There is no problem in moving,
This one said that he could swing 200 poses in a row without repeating the sample
Sounds like you can eat with your face,
Then why rely on talent
Oh know who you are,
The mosaic fell off and I told you
(Please note that the following GIF is normal speed)
Every time this "God resume" is mentioned,
The awards of "Time Magazine" and "Moving China" of the Year are late but late.↓
Can't say that people are dishonest,
After all, the official had to send the prize over.
This guy is whole, don't don't do it
Not only burst liver ability and honor experience rolled up,
Even Ou Qi was rolled up...
(Within a month, I have successively obtained Weibo memberships, Honor 3, TV sets, good guys...) Letters are not convinced to obey you) ▼
But what is the use of open source,
True masters are good at throttling
(I haven't lost my wallet, mobile phone or personal id for more than three years)
#一年丢三次身份证的橘真想收了这位当秘书
Although I don't know if such a European gas will attract the boss,
But in case your competitors have to die,
Won't you lie down and win? ▽
(Boss: I would like to ask you to leave while doing so)
The so-called elephant is invisible, and the sound of the big sound is great,
Some resumes seem to have nothing written,
But on closer inspection, nothing is really written
In fact......
Nor does it require you anything,
After all, this working dog can do it???
(Little Sister Of Operations: Are you polite? ）
The above two resumes though direct,
But it's somewhat offensive,
It's completely different if you're going to do it the other way around
The boss is like▽ in his heart
Resumes don't just need to be compiled when looking for a job.
On social networks also need to make (show) ...
Bai Yu, who claims to be a quiet and beautiful uncle,
Emphasize your graduation school four times
How? Are you very bullish after graduating from Chinese opera?
(dbq is very cattle)
There is also Lin Xinxin, who is very confident in his appearance like Bai Yu,
It can be said that it is concise and ♀️ clear
Lin updated the good buddy · top-notch Internet celebrity · infusion hot search first person • Wang Sicong,
The personal profile reads "Bisexual" and "Widowed",
Yes
Bisexual is you, and the single love of internet celebrity women is also you,
The widow is you, and you don't know whether it's you who hurts.
The big eye software ethos is not so... Harsh times,
The stars are also quite dare to play,
Lin Youjia said that she was an ascetic singer ↓
Yuan Hong directly said that he was eighteen forbidden?
Although Yuan Hong has now changed,
Changed to "straight man",
But in fact, in private, there are CP who are secretly bumping themselves and Hu Ge! (Nope.)
But no matter how the introduction changes,
Let you go to the ends of the earth,
Where there is writing, there is a harmonic stem
Lei Jiayin called herself Ala Lei↓
Lin Yanjun directly wrote a cold joke with a harmonic stem...
Hahahahahahahaha
……
But let's get back to the style of workers again...
Brother Jingxuan, you are really versatile▽
Anyway, many artists also have to go through the self-packaging link of baldness,
Why is it that it is bald?
Because if you look at their resumes,
Ah, ah, it feels like four words —
Donkeys are poor.
The resume brain circuit written by the famous Japanese actor Sasaki Kuranosuke in 2008 is more curious,
Ask him what his strengths are,
He said: "Although this is a relatively rare case, sometimes I think I can memorize several pages of lines at once
(HR: So can you provide a specific probability? ）
Sasaki Osamu is also seriously answering questions,
Oizumi Yang is powerful,
HR: What are your strengths?
Hiroshi Oizumi: The photo was incomplete.
HR: What are your shortcomings?
Hiroshi Ozumi: I can't find it.
Even the brain can make up the conversation between Oizumi Yang and HR later,
HR: What is your expected salary?
Hiroshi Oizumi: Death limit.
HR: So can you accept overtime?
Hiroshi Ozumi: I can't hear you.
HR
After all, the Japanese people have always been relatively middle two,
Don't say it's an actor,
Politicians are not afraid,
Obviously it should be the resume of the candidate's political achievements,
But you see what it's all about
Translator: When I traveled to Morocco, I played too hi, did not pay attention to stay for two more months, and my family thought that the missing police searched for the world ↓
(It's funny)
Translation: Received a love letter from the person you wanted, and found that you got the wrong person ↓
(So, if elected politicians, will they confuse the allies?)
Translation: The motto is to go forward and hit a pole 3 times ↓
(Life is to be more frustrated and courageous)
Translation: Personality is more planned, opening a ramen shop lost 20 million yen ↓
(Please, who dares to choose you like this)
Translation: I am a dog lover, but I have been pretending to be a cat for many years, on the grounds that I think this is more pleasing ↓
(This operation is worthy of a politician)
I don't know how these politicians will feel when they see their profiles in front of the TV.
But it should be similar to Tachibana's reaction to the introduction of the live-action version of walking below,
That toe,
Pulled out an entire draft hall
Ye Haoran: I am Ye Haoran, the big brother of hard candy.
Ye Haoran: I want to dominate the man here (PS: he said this in Japanese).
forehead
OK。
Tell the truth,
The body introduction of candy super sweet big brother is still not rich enough,
On rich body language,
That has to mention the last prince of our Uchiha family
Cheerful ↓
Lively ↓
The movement of the fingers is fun and no one can learn it.↓
Brother, why don't you sign up for The Finger Magician ▽
How to say it,
This kind of greasy or flexible limbs introduce themselves although funny,
But it's really a bit outdated.
People who keep up with the trend have long taken the high-tech route,
Eh, you think I'm something that fell off
In fact, I am looking for an opportunity for you to scan the code
Learned to learn,
I'll do it the next time I go to another company for an interview
Last sentence ↓
Writing is too devoted,
I didn't notice that the editor-in-chief was standing behind me...
Now she smiled and asked me which company I wanted to go to next time for an interview...