Go to bed early and get up early.
Text / He Yi
"What if I meet my ex?"
"What kind of mood will it be like to meet your ex?"
After breaking up with my ex, I often think about these two questions.
Perhaps it is felt that after thinking about how to deal with this situation, you can make a "perfect" response when you encounter it: generous and decent, not embarrassed.
But the so-called encounter is when you don't expect it.
For example, when I thought that everyone was almost out of school during the summer vacation, wearing a plain face and oil head, wearing pajamas and slippers to buy sanitary napkins, my ex came to me and led his current girlfriend.
Myopic and glasses-loving, I could only see who it was after they approached, but at this time there was no chance to turn around and run away.
I could only stiffen my scalp and greet him with a professional smile: "Hi. ”
Naturally, he waved at me, just like a normal friend.
But I'd rather he just pretended not to see me.
Because in my understanding, ordinary friends are ordinary because they are not important, they don't care, they are the same as you or not.
I glanced back at their backs: the girl was almost a head shorter than him, and standing with him was the "best height difference" between the couples, the two hands were ten fingers intertwined, and one looked up and one looked down when talking, which was indeed a very beautiful picture.
So I opened the WeChat address book, found him in the star friends, and deleted the friends.
We broke up peacefully.
Maybe it's because we're too peaceful, or maybe it's because we haven't seen each other again, and we can still get along as "good friends" after we break up:
Hear good songs that will be shared with each other;
In class, the teacher will point out to answer the question and complain to the other party;
Even sometimes the time span of the chat can still range from "good morning" to "good night".
It's like not breaking up.
The one that impressed me the most was that he shared a song with me: Lin Erwen's "Only You Are Irreplaceable".
Before entering the song, the last sentence of Lin Erwen's monologue was: "This song is given to the current." ”
Although he also said it, he just thought the song was very good.
But it still gives me the illusion that we will still be together after all.
And I did get into the illusion of wanting to be generous when I met my ex, just because I wanted to act like the breakup between us never happened.
In this relationship, neither of us parted ways with each other.
Zhang Ailing said that there are two reasons why you can still be friends after a breakup, one is because you have not really loved; the other is because at least one party is willing to pay for each other silently.
But feelings are not numbers, and they cannot be answered by applying the right formulas and laws.
Moreover, no one can define what is right, which means that anyone can think that they are right.
And I fell into this misunderstanding, firmly believing that he and I belong to the second situation, and we are both silently paying for each other.
This encounter was our first reunion since we broke up.
In fact, I have imagined many scenes of our encounters, such as running him on a playground walk, meeting him on the way to the canteen to eat, or choosing the same public elective class, and seeing him at a glance after entering the classroom.
But the only thing I wouldn't imagine was that he was holding his incumbent and greeting me with great naturalness.
At that moment, I was disappointed, and at the same time, I realized that it was time to give up, but I was also relieved.
Because this kind of waiting with a glimmer of hope but not knowing when it will end is too tiring.
I also finally understood that the reason he could talk to me like a good friend was because he really let go completely.
When I went to listen to the song "Only You Are Irreplaceable", I saw a comment: You still delete me, otherwise I always want to talk to you.
The meaning of this sentence is actually: I don't want to expect anything more from you.
Scrolling on, I found that the album name of the song was:
Give the previous degree of concert.
I never thought that my parting from him would happen during the reunion.
Perhaps because we habitually think that parting is sad and reunion is happy, it is impossible for the two to appear at the same time.
The truth is that some partings can only happen in reunions, and it is only at the moment of reunion that you realize that it is time to say goodbye.
Some people may feel that deleting the ex means that he has not let go.
But the purpose of deleting the ex is not to tell yourself that you have let go, but to tell yourself:
No more expectations.
Lin Erwen defined the song "Only You Are Irreplaceable" as a song for the current one, but eventually put it in the album "Concert for the Former Degree".
As if to say to the ex-director: "There is nothing that cannot be passed, the former irreplaceable, will eventually look at me as if I am 'irreplaceable'."
So, don't worry about whether you let go now, just know that you have already taken action, it is enough.
The rest is up to time.
Good night.