（1）
Jacky Cheung's "She Came to Listen to My Concert" has a lyric that reads: The woman who listens to the song after the age of forty is very beautiful, the child is asking her why she is crying, and the man next to her has gradually fallen asleep.
Every time she heard this, she would sigh with emotion, she listened to the song and silently shed tears, but the man next to her had already fallen asleep, how lonely should it be?
The loneliest thing in life is that at a certain moment you suddenly understand a song, but no one tells, no one shares, and you can only cry secretly.
We are afraid of a person's loneliness and yearn for marriage, so we plunge into marriage, but find that after marriage, we are even lonelier than when a person is single.
True loneliness is not alone, but loneliness after being together.
I once heard a passage: the husband was not in a good mood because of the work, the wife came to him and asked him what was wrong, he said with a tiger face: We men's affairs you women do not understand.
At that time, the wife turned around and left, and the husband thought she was angry, so the stupid girl ran to the toilet to draw a big beard and ran out to the husband and said: Hei, brother, what's wrong?
After looking at each other for a few seconds, both the husband and wife laughed and rolled on the ground.
When I told Li Yue about this passage, she did not laugh, but looked very lonely, she said: "My husband will not, even if I draw a beard in front of him, he will only say: I am tired enough, can you stop!" ”
She said that she is now unwilling to talk to her husband about many things, and jokes will not be with him, because it is also white, sometimes it is chicken and duck, he will not understand you at all.
Her lonely look made me pity.
The helplessness with which she complained made me sympathetic.
Li Yue is a very lonely person, often going to parties alone, taking children alone, going to the gym alone, although her husband has a successful career and looks bright and beautiful, but she looks empty, very lonely, very sad.
I have been to her home, it is very big and grand, but it is cold and clear, as soon as I go in, I will feel the loneliness that goes deep into the bone marrow, less of a steaming heat, rarely see her husband, she herself is tired of returning to this home.
It's hard for them to say a few words a day, and the deep communication is even more difficult to mention, always you are busy with you, he is busy with him, and he is blind to the real emotional needs of his partner.
（2）
Why is it the woman who often feels lonely in marriage?
Because the requirements of this society for men and women are not the same.
What are the requirements of a good man? It's about having a successful career.
Anything else? Without.
As long as you have a successful career, even if you come home from work to be a grandpa, you can't lie up on the couch, don't do housework, don't work, even if you spend days outside drinking, don't accompany your wife and don't accompany your children, the outside world will always evaluate them as a good man.
And women?
To marry and teach children, to have a happy family, to be financially independent, even being a housewife will be despised, and all aspects must be done well, otherwise you are a failed woman, and their silent payment for this family is often hidden, invisible and not recognized, and often taken for granted.
In such an environment, a new type of word was born, called "shadow husband", that is, there is only the shadow of the husband in this family, as his wife, let alone tired and sick without the care and care of the husband, even the minimum requirements of a normal woman can not be met.
The child is absent when he needs him, the wife is absent when she needs him, and his wife, in name, is not much different from a widowed woman.
With a shadow, how can you not be lonely?
I am reminded of a line from the movie "The Greatest Father in the World": "I thought that the worst thing in the world was to die alone." Not really, the worst part is to end up with people who make you feel lonely. ”
Marriage does not make people lonely, and marriage to the shadow will be lonely.
（3）
My circle of friends has been brushed countless times by such articles, "Obviously there is a husband, but like a single mother", "the most terrible is widowed marriage", "the most annoying is the deaf-mute marriage", behind these articles are hidden a woman's deeply lonely heart.
What is the loneliest time in a marriage?
It is when you go to the hospital alone with a big belly for a maternity examination, but everyone else has a husband to accompany you.
It is when the child wakes up crying in the middle of the night during confinement, but the husband pretends to be asleep and can't wake up.
It is the husband who has already snored like thunder, but you have a lot of words that no one can say and can only be insomnia alone.
When we are single, we eat alone, travel, watch movies, no worries, no constraints, do whatever we want, and the time is full. When the mood is good, I will make three or five friends, wave together, go crazy together, such a day is really happy.
After getting married, we thought that someone would accompany us to prepare dinner, eat together, complain about the strange things we encountered that day, and travel together.
The result is that he doesn't like to eat what you want to eat, he's not interested in listening to what you want to say, he's a waste of money where you want to go, and you'll live in two worlds forever.
We have a full heart to tell, but those former friends have long since withdrawn from your life, and you find that he is the only one around, and there is no desire to express it in an instant.
When you want to get out of this cage, but you have to take care of him, you can only be stranded in his world.
Is there still love in such a marriage? It is not clear, because there are too many mixtures, there is family affection, there are habits, and there is a bundle of interest relations.
Those who can't open their bodies can only be buried alive until they are old.
I thought you would give me love, I would buy bread myself, but you can't give love, and you still have to share my bread;
I thought I was lonely enough when I was alone, but after I got married, I found that marriage is endless loneliness.
The most miserable woman is married to a "shadow husband".