There are some people who are changing the world, and there are people who are being changed by the world.
Except for those who walk in the pyramid shop, most ordinary people will be changed by this environment, we can't change the environment, but we will learn to adapt to the environment and change our minds.
If a person wants to walk at the top of the pyramid, in fact, birth determines a large part of the fate of this person, basically 80% of the fate is decided when this person is born, and the remaining 20% depends on this person to work hard.
The same is true of ordinary people's lives, your life is decided 80% the moment you fall to the ground, and the remaining 20% is the space for your efforts, either choose mediocrity or continue to move forward.
But in this world, there are some things that cannot be resisted, and fate can sometimes nurture a person, and sometimes it can also play tricks on a person.
Whether we are born well or low in life, we will encounter some setbacks, of course, there are some lucky ones are exceptions.
Those who have survived the disaster will have some changes in their attitudes, and these characteristics can only be understood by those who have experienced them.
01.
Be tolerant and generous
In the novel "Journey to the West", Sun Wukong was born as a monkey and often made trouble. Whether it is heaven or earth, Sun Wukong can do it, but the only thing is that when others bully him, Sun Wukong absolutely has to return it.
Therefore, Sun Wukong made the heavens unrestful, and also made the hell unrestful.
But when Sun Wukong later went with Tang Monk to learn the scriptures, when Sun Wukong met a lot of demons and ghosts on the road, experienced a lot of setbacks, and met a lot of people, the moment he became a Buddha, he became particularly tolerant.
In the past, Sun Wukong ran to the main hall of the Buddha of Rulai to beat people, but when he put on his robes and became a Buddha, he became very inferior.
This is the life that has experienced ninety-nine and eighty-one difficulties, turning a monkey into a person who has become a Buddha.
Although this is only a novel or a TV series, there are many such things in real life.
Just like when people are young, they are always used to seeing nothing, and there are some rich ladies or rich men who don't look at anything.
But if this person has suffered hardships since childhood, or if he has grown up, has experienced many disasters and has been reborn again, then such a person's face to life and face others is different.
Those who are tolerant and generous are sometimes not born, but they have to let this person go through some tribulations.
So, there are a lot of people in real life who haven't suffered, and when you get along with this person, you will find it particularly difficult, because the other party sees a very small thing in the eyes, and is often self-righteous and particularly selfish.
But those who have experienced the big world are just different, will not look at trivial things in their eyes, and will not do some harmful things, because this kind of person understands the difficulties of others, and also understands the difficulties of life.
02.
Not more real, the clouds are light and the wind is light
People who have gone through hardships are often no longer more real, but regard life and friendship as very precious.
Just like Xiao Qing in "The Legend of the New White Lady", when Bai Suzhen was not imprisoned in the Leifeng Pagoda, Xiao Qing was a little girl who was alive and jumping, and when she did something, she was also particularly real, and she would also have to ignore people and regard everything as very important.
When the White Lady was caught in the Leifeng Pagoda, Xiao Qing often looked for trouble for Fahai, and later found that she could not defeat Fahai, so she went to cultivate for 20 years.
When he returned from 20 years of cultivation, Xiao Qing's whole person had changed, he was no longer so real, and when he looked at everything, he felt that the clouds were light and the wind was light.
So the people in the family felt that Xiaoqing was different from before, and Xiaoqing didn't want to take revenge.
After some tempering and cultivation, some people regard people who have hurt themselves as less important.
Of course, when these people encounter some bumps and bumps in their lives again, they are not so real, but as a process.
The reason why this TV series or novel can become a classic is because this TV series or novel tells the hundred states of life and the true connotation of life.
03.
Don't trust others easily
People who live the rest of their lives are more active, and who should believe and who should not believe these people are no longer easy to believe in others, but when they meet people they feel trustworthy, they will still help each other without hesitation, and trust each other without question.
Doom is sometimes like a funnel that filters out those who are bad for you and leaves those who are good for you, and these people are the nobles in your life.
After a person has experienced some suffering, he understands who is good and who is bad around him. Some people's good is just put on the mouth, but some people's good is hidden in the bottom of their hearts.
Those who just put these good things on their lips see you and encounter some problems, and the other party may hurt you; those who put these big things in their hearts will definitely help you when they see that you have some problems.
Some people just give you sweet words, but some people give you charcoal in the snow.
When you have the rest of your life, you will find that the people who send charcoal in the snow are indeed rare and valuable, and those who talk sweetly will often export chapters to pour honey on you, so that you feel that the other party is very good.
For the rest of your life, if you will easily trust others, then it means that you have not crossed enough robbery.
04.
No more unconditional giving
After experiencing some things, a person finds that there are not only good people in this world, but also some very bad people.
Some very bad people don't help you when you're having trouble, and that's the person's duty because you don't have the right to let someone else help you.
But there are some people who are even worse, and these people will not only leave you when you encounter difficulties, but also fall into the well, give you a big mouth, and make you even more sad.
So when you encounter some difficulties, you will find that there are some people who are not worth paying, so you will no longer have a particularly enthusiastic heart for everyone, but choose to give to others.
About those who are good to you, you will pay about those who have been bad to you, or even framed you, you do not want to retaliate against others, but you will never deal with this person again, or even help this person.
For the rest of his life, he experienced too much suffering, and let a person be reborn as a nirvana. When we are young, we grow up with the body, and when we grow up, we grow up with thoughts, and one setback after another will make us more and more courageous and understand things more and more, and these also change the way we do things and attitudes.
Wei Tingting: Emotional mentor of millions of fans, multi-platform invited lecture lecturer, helped 1000+ people out of the confusion of marriage, senior researcher of gender emotion