Author: Insight Ichiri
Just give your own light, don't blow out other people's lights.
01
On Zhihu, some netizens anonymously shared such a story.
When I went to college, I used my leisure time to work as a part-time waiter in a small café.
Once, a father and son came to the store, the father carrying a laptop in his hand and the child carrying a school bag.
Obviously, they have to stay for a long time.
Business in the shop was good that day, with customers at every table.
The father probably had to deal with urgent documents, so he was angry with the netizen.
As a waiter, she is also very aggrieved, it is a quiet and relaxed environment, who wants to share the table?
She could only stiffen her scalp and ask table by table.
Eventually, a good-natured guest left early and gave up his seat.
After the father and son are seated, the father works and the son writes his homework.
By the time she brought her things, the father was already checking the child's homework, and she clearly heard the other party say this when he was educating the child:
"People who don't study well will become waiters."
This netizen studied at a 985 college, and will not hurt her self-esteem because of this sentence, but the words that no one in sight still makes her feel uncomfortable.
At that moment, she said, she mourned for the child, whose father might have taught him knowledge, but could not teach him to be a man.
The writer Long Yingtai once said: "Your attitude toward the weak is your upbringing." ”
A cultured person will not despise the sanitation workers, will not arbitrarily insult the cleaning aunt, will not dictate to the takeaway brother, and will not blame the service personnel.
They don't have to belittle others and elevate themselves.
Not to despise others is literacy, not to overestimate yourself as a nurturer.
02
Not long ago, at dinner with Fa Xiao, she said to me with pity that she had recently lost to a colleague who was far less capable than herself in the competition for a job at the same level.
Fa Xiao asked over and over again, "Why don't you choose me?" ”
I asked her what advantages the opponent had.
Fa Xiao waved his hand, and his words revealed a little disdain: "There is nothing outstanding, that is, she can get along well with anyone, and everyone likes her very much." ”
Having known her for many years, I know her character too well.
I've heard her talk to her subordinates on the phone more than once, and as a boss, she often hangs on her lips:
"The plan can't come out, no one should want to sleep!"
"Can't do it, leave immediately!"
"Don't want to? Then I'll change to someone who wants to do it! ”
......
The condescending attitude and the solipsistic tone remind everyone at all times, "I am the boss.".
More than once, she showed off her "skill of taming people", which was nothing more than how to strictly control employees and how to make subordinates obey.
Everyone had no respect for her, only fear.
Cangyang Gyatso said that to be respectful to people is actually to solemnize himself.
The most taboo thing about being a person is to have too much sense of identity.
Even if you are in a high position in the workplace, if you do not engage in equal dialogue, you are doomed to lose the hearts and minds of the people.
As the saying goes, the degree of comfort you make people determines the height you can reach.
The reassuring premise is to give the other party enough respect first.
As your path gets smoother and smoother, when your popularity is getting better and better, you will understand:
Between people, the best routine is sincerity; between hearts and hearts, the best key is empathy.
Mutual contempt will only lead to two-sided disgust; only by respecting each other can we achieve each other.
Not to be a lowly person with a noble body is the emotional intelligence of comparing the heart to the heart, and it is also the wisdom of foresight.
03
Self-esteem, which everyone has, is like a candle in the palm of your hand, sensitive and fragile.
While chatting with colleagues, she once talked to me about her first experience of drinking milk tea.
In college, she went shopping for milk tea with her roommate, and the clerk asked her, "How sweet do you want?" ”
She was stunned, after all, it was the first time, and she didn't understand it, so she replied in a loud voice, "Normal sweetness is OK." ”
At this time, the roommate laughed out loud, "You don't even know this, it won't be the first time to drink it!" ”
After that, he talked about it and popularized a lot of milk tea knowledge for her.
Colleagues said that since then, I have never drunk milk tea.
Some people say that the value of a person lies not in his status, the amount of wealth, the depth of his knowledge, but in whether he knows how to respect others.
Deeply.
Truly powerful people never write a sense of superiority on their faces, but put humility in their hearts.
Because they understand that there are blind spots in people's vision, and their thoughts and insights are even more so.
Everyone has things that they don't understand, and everyone has areas that they are not good at.
Taking your own advantages and attacking the flaws of others will not make people look up to them, but will make their own character lose their price.
In life, it is good to shine your own light, do not blow out the lamp of others.
Maybe you are erudite, but don't mock other people's insights;
Maybe you have a high taste, but don't belittle the interest of others;
Maybe you have the top academic qualifications, but don't underestimate each other's abilities;
Maybe you're single avant-garde, but don't define the second child parents lagging behind...
Zhuge Liang said, "Don't be a slut. ”
Not showing off one's strengths is the rarest form of compassion; not piercing the embarrassment of others is the highest level of kindness.
04
The host Meng Fei once said such a sentence:
"All sense of superiority does not come from looks, stature, knowledge, family, wealth, status, achievement, and power, but only from a lack of insight and compassion."
Seeing that the shoes bought by your roommate are fake, you sympathize with the hardship, and you will not open your mouth to tear them down;
Workers who pass by the side of the road eating box lunches, you understand that kind of hardship, you will not look at it with disdain;
The takeaway received timed out for a few minutes, you understand that it is not easy, you will not casually bad reviews...
In this life, man must see all beings, see the heavens and the earth, and see himself.
Seeing sentient beings, understanding the diversity of sentient beings, so tolerant;
Seeing the heavens and the earth, experiencing greatness and smallness, so humble;
Seeing myself, feeling the true self of myself, so open-minded.
Yang Dai said that no matter what level of life you go to, there are people at the bottom of the stairs looking up to you, and there are also people on the steps who are looking down on you.
The more you experience, the more you will understand that not to be expensive and mean is a compulsory course for everyone in their lives.
May we all not despise others, not despise ourselves, and always be warm in our hearts.
Encourage your friends.