Fromm, The Art of Love, love is an art. Love, like peasants planting land and workers working, needs to be learned the day after tomorrow.
Love is a circle. Love is the beginning and the end. Love needs to be learned the day after tomorrow.
I confess that on the road of love, I was just a schoolboy.
Check the definition of Internet narcissism: It is a psychological manifestation of self-confidence and complacency. This kind of performance in life will be manifested in excessive love for vanity, exaggeration of oneself, love to dress up and stinky beauty, etc.
In my opinion, proper narcissism is good. I admit that a lot of times I'm very narcissistic, most likely related to over-repression, severe blows to self-esteem. Excessive narcissism is certainly harmful and extremely harmful. As for the causes of narcissistic personality disorder, classical psychoanalytic theory explains that the patient is unable to bet his instinctive psychological power on an external object, and this force is trapped inside, forming narcissism. Modern object relationship theory holds that narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by "self as the object", in layman's terms, "you and I do not distinguish, other I do not distinguish". The reason for this is that patients have experienced interpersonal trauma in their early years of experience, such as long-term separation from their parents, parental discord, or their parents' attitude towards them is too rough or too doting. There are some experiences that make patients feel that loving themselves is safe and deserved.
Love is an art.
The Webster Dictionary defines narcissism as the sixth insatiable emotion. People with a narcissistic mentality are solipsistic, solipsistic, and cherish themselves to the point of pathology. Only willing to enjoy, not willing to give; only to demand rights, not willing to fulfill obligations; only to pursue power, not willing to be responsible; only believe in themselves, do not believe in others; only love themselves, do not love others... All of this is a manifestation of a narcissistic mentality. People with a narcissistic mindset can't develop any meaningful relationships with others and are prone to falling into loneliness. Narcissism and loneliness often accompany each other. Moreover, what accompanies narcissism is inferiority and melancholy.
Now it seems that I have reason to think that my father is a typical sixth type of narcissistic personality disorder, that is, solipsism, solipsism, and cherishing himself to the point of pathology. As if his presence is to make you uncomfortable, only to endure, resist will die. It can be said that, at least, is the true feeling of the three of us sisters.
Regarding self-love and self-interest, Fromm said: Egoism and loneliness are synonymous. Self-love is not "selfish", self-love is the basis of loving others. The affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, and freedom is based on the ability to love, that is, to see whether you have the ability to care for people, respect people, have a sense of responsibility and understand people. If a man has the ability to love creatively, then he must also love himself, but if he loves only others, then he is incapable of loving.
Loneliness is love, and people without love will not be lonely.
Shouldn't self-interest and self-love be seen as the same thing? The answer is no. "Egoism and self-love are by no means the same thing, they are actually contradictory. Self-interested people do not love themselves too much, but they love themselves too much. ”
A person who lacks love and care for himself is a person who lacks vitality in his heart, and a person who lacks vitality is a person who lacks the ability to love. He felt empty and disappointed, and when necessary this unfortunate and timid man would make up for his lost happiness through various other satisfactions. He seems to care deeply about himself, but in fact he is just trying to cover up and supplement his lack of love by caring for himself. ”
Although this passage is excerpted from a blog post, in fact, it is also the result of my voice and years of thinking and learning. Loving yourself means first appreciating yourself, accompanying yourself, being your best friend, psychologist and life mentor, being able to reflect on yourself from time to time, understanding and grasping yourself in a multi-level and all-round way from multiple levels and angles, and clarifying personal strengths and weaknesses. Man is born lonely, and the only thing that can accompany him or herself is each individual, and this is true in the sense of philosophical ontology. And there are many ways to love yourself, such as being alone, always cleaning up thoughts and psychological garbage, talking with yourself all the time, for me is a diary, facing a completely true self, relentlessly dissecting yourself, making the soul tremble, agility, rising and falling, making yourself more open and light; or reading, living, new knowledge, always maintaining the spirit of learning tolerance and positive attitude; or walking, music appreciation, devoting yourself to public welfare, daily life, learning to deal with family problems, accompanying the elderly and children, The wisdom of loving oneself may be in the little bits and pieces of life.
Love comes from beauty and sublime.
Mother Teresa said: "We can't do great things, but we can do little things that move us." When the red lady is very worried and tired, I am willing to do the small things of adult beauty, I think I am learning love, although it is still very clumsy and difficult, the ability to love is cultivated in learning. If I don't do it, if I don't suffer losses, I will always be a primary school student.