Author | Ye Zijun Happy Wings Cadet
Coordinates | Tianjin
Dear Husband,
All along, although I have occasionally complained about you, I have never used the word "condemnation", so serious.
Today, however, I must "condemn" you.
Given that we are thousands of miles apart, and you are too busy to have much time on the phone, I am afraid that I will be interrupted before I can finish speaking, so I will accuse you in the form of an e-mail.
The immediate reason I wrote this "letter of condemnation" is because you expressed guilt and self-blame for your parents, for me, for your son last night, and it was too heavy.
I've found that if I don't speak up again, there can be "serious consequences"!
This letter is sincere and difficult to write, so please be sure to read it carefully, and it is best to give me oral feedback as a reply.
First of all, I want to "condemn" your guilt and self-blame for your parents!
Husband, you are the old and young in the family, your future has been set by the family since childhood as a "golden list title, shining lintel".
It is your family mission to get into college, rush out of the countryside, and go to the city.
Even the problem of the pension to the end, parents have long been arranged, the facts have proved that parents are very wise, you are very angry, rushing out of the countryside is not a word, in the study and work of achievements, even beyond the expectations of parents.
I know that you are a very filial person, and I want to take more care of your parents and do your filial piety, but in fact, you have done a very good job.
Because of your work, you have fewer chances to go back, but whenever you have time, you will go home and chat with them, rush to work, and do your best to help the family deal with things.
Husband, you've done your best! Your achievements at work are the greatest comfort for your parents.
While the eldest brother takes care of his parents at home, he also enjoys the happiness of being needed and filial piety under the knees of his parents and surrounding his parents.
Because at home, close to his parents, his way of filial piety is destined to be different from yours.
When you work outside, you should also enjoy the sense of accomplishment and pride you bring to your parents, rather than feeling guilty and self-blame for not being able to accompany them.
Without you, the regret of not being able to "hope to become a dragon" will accompany them throughout their lives.
Therefore, your guilt will not only not help, but even hurt yourself and your family.
If you feel guilty and blame yourself, you will be in a bad mood; if you are in a bad mood, you will have a straight face to me and my son, a look of bitterness and hatred, and you can't say a few words, and what you say is not good; so my son and I are in a bad mood.
If we are in a bad mood, we have nothing to say to you, and our face is not good for you, which makes your mood even worse; if your mood is worse, the work will not go smoothly, and if the work is not smooth, you will not be able to come back to see your parents and wives and children; if you can't come back, your mood will be even worse...
So the vicious circle arises!
But if you're in a good mood, everything will go well, whether it's work or family.
When the mood is good, the sun will revolve around you, those ugly, hiding, hiding, will show their original form, and are you still worried about not seeing the barricades?
See, still worried about not being able to get rid of it? Cleared, will you still be in a bad mood? In a good mood, everything is going well, are you still worried that you can't come back to see us?
So the virtuous circle arises!
A vicious circle, or a virtuous circle? Dear husband, which path do you choose to take?
Husband, I understand your parents' hearts very well, because I also have parents, not picked up in the garbage.
So, you really don't need to emphasize anything, your emphasis, to put it bluntly, is a distrust of me, but also a doubt about yourself.
Looking at your chosen daughter-in-law with a skeptical eye, this feeling is really not bad; whether the daughter-in-law is not good, you yourself blame yourself for not doing it.
Extended by such a mode of thinking, the son is the most innocent, the son will think: I inexplicably cast the wrong fetus, if I am not careful, I will be thrown into such a bad father's and mother's house to "suffer".
Through the above reasoning, your guilt and self-blame for your parents are not only no good, but also serious and even disaster! So, I must condemn you!
Second, I want to "condemn" your guilt and self-blame for your wife and son!
Here, I would like to explain to you a key issue first:
A woman who does not complain about her husband will not be born at all, and a man who is not blamed by a woman will definitely not be the woman's man.
Therefore, if you don't want to be blamed by me, you will die this heart first, you can't be "lucky" to marry a unique "perfect woman" in the world!
Are you so self-condemning and blindly demeaning yourself that you are warning me that I have married the wrong man and that my son has chosen the wrong father?
Not to mention, as a member of the hundreds of millions of people who are good at complaining about their husbands, I really had the idea of finding a "better quality man", but this idea soon disappeared.
Because for me, there is no better husband candidate than you.
You are upright, kind, filial piety, principled and bottom line, diligent and self-motivated, strong sense of responsibility, hard work, sincere treatment, do not compete for fame and profit, take care of the family, can cook, can take care of people, do not talk about eating or wearing...
Ordinary but high-quality affordable men, the only one in the world, I will not be, what else do you want to do? That's it!
You are the only one in my life, and you can't escape it.
You complain so badly that you don't do a good job, don't you have other ideas? Or do you want to find a "perfect girl" who has no demands on you at all?
Just kidding, you don't have the guts to "not know the goods".
Your wife, me, is fine.
The only bad thing is to see you entangled in the so-called guilt and self-blame, and you are not happy so twisted and sad poker face, I myself look at it and get angry.
Our son is also good, handsome, independent, has ideas, goals, insists on exercise, has self-motivation, learns independently and actively, has creative, has artistic cells, has his own interests and hobbies, humor has connotation, kindness, warmth, expression, charm...
There are too many advantages for our son, I can't all talk about it, and you can talk about the rest.
The son's goal is tentatively set, and then adjusted to Tsinghua Peking University may not be able to say, anyway, the son has his own ideas.
What about you? What is your guilt about your son?
Too little time with my son? Failing to fulfill your responsibilities as a father?
That is not necessary, in the future love your son more, care more about him, chat with him more, give him more money to spend...
In fact, the son understands in his heart that it is indeed a pity that you are not by his side, but your love is clear in the son's heart.
However, if you dig more into your son's strengths, be gentler with your son's mother, care more, take more care, pick less, come back and cook more, drink less and smoke less, your son will be happier!
To sum up, you who look down on your parents, wives, and sons so small need to be condemned, or even under-cleaned.
Could it be that the family is too solid to make you uneasy?
After that, do we have to do nothing and create some trouble, so that you can be at ease?
In this way, you will not feel guilty and blame yourself when you think of us; because when you come, you will not even want to think of us, and when you think of your head, you will explode, so why care about anything else?
Finally, please listen well:
1. I. About filial piety: Filial piety is one-way, the one-way feelings of children towards their parents.
People with filial piety, if they find that they have something wrong with their parents, can easily feel guilty.
Guilt, the energy level of this emotion is very low, on the one hand, it motivates you to do better, on the other hand, it weakens your strength, so the more you want to do well, the more you can't do it well.
If your parents feel your self-blame and guilt, they will also blame themselves and feel guilty. Once this negative energy is transmitted, it will also affect the magnetic field around you, so that your relationship with the outside world will develop in a bad direction.
Two. About love: Love is a two-way street, parents can love their children, children can also love their parents; love gives strength to each other, and positive energy of love can be passed on.
Therefore, instead of living in the guilt and self-blame of not being able to fulfill filial piety around parents, it is better to express care and love in a way that you can do, and you can also enhance your inner strength.
As for the treatment of wives and children, it is even easier.
We do what we like, you do what you want, you do it, it's OK.
Don't want to be a "perfect man", because perfect men are "finished", finished, you still have filial piety!
Husband, I'm sure you'll have a wise choice!
Also, husband, I love you.
This is a "condemnation letter" from a certain wife to her husband, and it is very interesting to read.
Where in the world is there so-called "perfection"?
The root cause of the "condemnation letter" comes from the fact that Mr. Li did not accept his "truth", and the negative emotions generated were constantly affecting himself, more of the family around him...
Accepting emotions is the root of all problems.
When you accept your emotions, you can see the "real" and see the direction of problem solving.
Instead of getting caught up in emotions, it's like being stuck in a dilemma, a dilemma created by yourself.
One person learns, one family benefits, and this "condemnation letter" represents that another family has cleared the fog and is on the road to happiness.
Have you started to learn for the happiness of your family?
Editor / Wong Wai Man, Dou Dou
Typography / Zhou Xinrong
Photo / Pixabay & Pexels
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