The person who loves you the most is me, how can you make me sad

In the early 90s, he was a well-known brother in Beijing, and when he became an adult, he started his own business and made a lot of money, because from God it seems that he naturally prefers a type of person, he already has a lot, and he is also handsome and handsome, playful, frivolous, indulgent, and both men and women, but seems to prefer men. At a colleague dinner, he met a young boy through his subordinates, clean and weak, the eyes are shy and uncomfortable, big eyes, eyelashes are very long, like a little girl, I heard that the boy because he can't afford to pay the tuition, looking around for an employer who can provide him with school, he was moved, he has money, it is his usual practice to find a boy to play and relieve boredom, so he chose him, he took the boy to the hotel, after taking a bath, the boy was watching the news, he sat next to the boy and said vaguely: It is late, go wash it, The boy looked at him, and the TV was broadcasting American news, and suddenly the boy suddenly asked him: Have you been to the United States, big brother? The next day, he left the phone number on the table, and then the two of them did not see each other for a long time, until it was almost the winter of the New Year, at a newsstand they met again, he asked him: Why didn't you contact me after leaving a phone number for you, the boy smiled shyly and said: I put it in my pocket, I didn't pay attention when I washed the clothes, I washed it, and he asked again: Are you wearing so little cold, put on my scarf first, let's have time to eat together tonight, and the boy said: Good. The next day, he was sitting on the hotel couch reading the newspaper, the boy's sleepy eyes were foggy, he said go to change clothes, take you to dinner, the New Year's gift was in the closet, the boy went to the closet and said: Bought so many gifts for me, and a lot of clothes, which one do you say I wear better? He gave the boy a lot of money, and as a friend, took him home for the New Year's reunion dinner, he couldn't say that he loved the boy, he didn't know what love was, anyway, he felt that the boy was very simple, very kind, and then wanted to hurt him, one big winter, he drove to the boys' school to pick him up, met a young boy in shorts, and soon after, he successfully brought this muscular boy to the hotel, or the trick, then the doorbell rang, he went to open the door, it turned out to be the boy at the beginning, This is the hotel room where he often lives, the boy is familiar with the road to find him, hug him, like a little girl said to him: I want to kill you, he said angrily: Why don't you call, really take this as your own home, the boy is a little inexplicable, then he saw the boy in the back room, said: It turns out that you have friends in the ah, I left first, don't bother, so I turned around and staggered and ran after him, blocking the boy in the elevator and saying: You are serious, this matter must be able to play, we are so fun, serious is not interesting, serious, serious Do you really think I can do anything with you? The boy said angrily: "Well, I won't see you later, will I?" Do you think you can still meet a person like me who is so willing to spend money on you, to put it bluntly, you are playing for me", this is very hurtful, the boy angrily yelled: Tomorrow I will let people return the money to you, the elevator door is closed, he angrily smashed the elevator door, and then came some days, just like the couple got into trouble, they are together again, intermittent years, buy him a car and buy a house, the feelings are there, but he is unwilling to admit it, he clearly knows that he is going to start a family with a woman and have children, Then it wasn't long before he became obsessed with a capable female translator, and later, he decided to marry this woman, and during the showdown with the boy, the boy was packing up his things and sitting there crying, and the boy said: I knew there would be such a day, so long ago, I told myself that every morning when I got up, I would like you less. Three years on, he's a little old, he wants a child, but he doesn't know that his wife is a person who doesn't want children, and secretly beat up their children behind his back, and he is very angry and asks her: How can you be so selfish? So, I left.

Then in a parking lot, he met the boy again, and he said, "Are you free tonight, no, in a few days, for a while, and he rubbed his hands and said, "So how can I contact you?" The boy left a mobile phone number for him, and then he was very fortunate, the boy asked him to eat together, in the boy's staff dormitory, the small room with cheap rent, the boy planted flowers in the back garden, the boy woke him up and said: I give you a taxi, you go back, they hugged a little to separate, he found himself like a dead water, but again the waves, he suddenly understood what he had missed over the years, he felt sad, his heart tightened into a clump, and the boy's hug completely defeated him. And the boy also because of his warm hug again let himself collapse into the army, he understood, some things, some people, is destined, this life, will be planted in your hands, you turn back, you hug, I will fall again, because I really love you, after a short period of sweetness, the sudden change came again, he did business because of tax evasion and tax evasion was arrested, the company's funds were frozen, waiting for sentencing, before going to prison he took care of everything for the boy, for him to do the formalities to go to the United States, he knew, Studying in the United States has always been a boy's dream, and then he was taken away by the police, old friends and subordinates helped him unblock the relationship, but because the company's funds were frozen, he couldn't come up with so much money, the boy knew, he sold the money he gave him that year, the house, the car, all sold, and made up the money for him, about a few months, he got out of prison, lived with the boy, lived every day with a foam, they visited the park together, the cold winter, the dead branches stretched out to the sky in the morning, the sun shone through the curtains, the boy shaved, Put on a down jacket to go to work, before leaving to kiss his face, and he was in the dream, faintly heard the sound of razors, and the boy's face, fate is the biggest black hand behind the scenes, if happiness is not the perfect ending, only the mutilation has more afterglow, he vaguely feels flustered, until he receives a call from the hospital, the boy has a car accident. In the cold room, he saw the boy's thin body covered with white sheets, he was still so thin, his cheeks were so pale, so he himself in the empty room with the boy's corpse, crying unable to help himself, this was the most fierce time he cried in his life, his heart, his softest place, his deepest love, his most beautiful soul all went with the boy, but he often talked to himself, he said: In fact, I always feel that you have not left me, you have been in the early morning of that day.