龙年渡劫 · 破2∶52魔咒，喜悦中突发伤悲
▓ Pegasus is alone
This morning, I opened my eyes and habitually raised my wrist to look at my watch, 6 o'clock sharp.
It's a time to celebrate. This means that I have finally broken the spell of waking up at 2:52 a.m. and never being able to sleep again.
I've been sleeping less. For decades, I would fall asleep within 20 seconds with my head glued to the pillow, and if I didn't make a snoring sound within a minute, my wife would ask, "What's on your mind today?" "I get up at five or six o'clock in the morning, make breakfast and go downstairs for morning exercise. Never take a nap. Also energetic and in good shape throughout the day.
Since I was infected with the new coronavirus at the end of 2022 two years ago, in addition to a series of uncomfortable symptoms such as decreased physical strength, panic and shortness of breath, and finally implanted a heart stent, I am afraid that the most tormenting thing for me is insomnia. It was extremely difficult to fall asleep, going to bed at 10 p.m. and tossing and turning by 1 a.m. I finally fell asleep, and once I woke up halfway, I basically couldn't fall asleep again. Sleeping two or three hours a day became the norm. Since being hospitalized with immune system problems and taking large amounts of hormones, insomnia has reached its peak. The Huawei GT3pro watch on the hand often shows a deep sleep duration of 0 minutes, with occasional three or four minutes. I always thought that the watch must be inaccurate, and I didn't take it seriously. Later, after buying back the GT5, I wore a watch on each hand to monitor it, and found that the data of the two watches was consistent. Swapped the two watches into the hands of his wife, but the data was consistently good.
One morning, when I woke up and habitually looked at my watch, I found that it was 2:52 a.m. I have a vague feeling that I have seen this point in time many times. After realizing this point in time, when I woke up the next day, it was still 2:52, and on the third day, it was still this time. It's accurate to the minute. From then on, it was like I was stuck in time by some spell, whether I fell asleep at 11 p.m. or 1 a.m., I always woke up at that time.
A few years ago, I watched a foreign science fiction movie, which seems to be called "12 Midnight", and the male protagonist suddenly finds himself trapped in a time loop, and every time the clock points to 12:01 midnight, everything starts again, as if the day before never existed. I wondered, am I also stuck in some kind of time loop? Studied but cannot comprehend.
There is one of the most plausible explanations. One is that my biological clock is extremely accurate, and the other is that I have a strong autosuggestion ability. In years, I've never used an alarm clock. If you have something to do the next morning, even if you catch a train or a plane, as long as you hint at what time you will wake up tomorrow before going to sleep, you will definitely wake up at the prompted time, and you have never missed something. It is very likely that I realized the time 2:52 when I looked at my watch that day, and gave myself a hint, and then the biological clock remembered this time, and when I paid more and more attention to this time, the biological clock engraved this time firmly in my mind, and I was about to wake up. And then it made me feel like I was under a spell.
In order to break this curse, I used eighteen martial arts. Soaking your feet, standing on a stump, sticking a soothing sticker, applying sleep cream, and taking sleeping pills in the middle of the night are all useless. Every half month, when I went to the Department of Rheumatology and Immunology of Jiangsu Provincial People's Hospital for a follow-up examination of biological agents, I had to ask Director Wang Yanyan to prescribe some sleeping pills "Sinosi", and Director Wang resolutely only prescribed a box of 7 pills. "You're typically anxious, and it's best to see a psychiatrist," she said. ”
I didn't go to a psychiatrist, but I did go to a TCM.
During my hospitalization and after I was discharged from the hospital, many friends reminded me that there was a problem with the machine as a whole, and I needed to take Chinese medicine for system conditioning. Indeed, from my personal experience, when I was hospitalized in the infectious disease department, the infectious disease doctor was only responsible for keeping my low-grade fever down, saying that they could not cure the swollen feet and leg pain. When you are hospitalized in the rheumatology and immunology department, the doctor uses a large dose of hormones to control the inflammation and pain, and the blood sugar spike and insomnia caused by taking the hormone are said that they can't do anything about it, you go to a specialist. I press the gourd to float the scoop, and this symptom goes down and that symptom comes out. The body is a precision instrument that has been running non-stop for 60 years, except for repairing individual parts, it is time for overall maintenance.
My wife took me to Lu Yuanyuan, director of the Department of Preventive Treatment of Nanjing Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Director Lu looked at me and said that I was a typical qi and blood stasis physique. She looked at my body composition analysis report and said that although I had lost 10 kilograms, most of the weight I lost was muscle, and my body fat was still exceeded. Without muscles, blood sugar has no soil to regulate, and can only jump up and down.
After two courses of Chinese medicine, my sleep condition has improved and it is much easier to fall asleep. But I will wake up at 2:52 a.m. on time. Although after waking up, he still can't fall back asleep.
I'm no longer anxious. After waking up, he no longer tossed and turned, first sat up and meditated for an hour, and then did the abdominal kneading technique taught by his wife, kneading 500 times around the navel with the palm of his hand. Then get up, read, write, cut videos, and be extremely productive. Looking out the window, in a large community of nearly 3,000 households and tens of thousands of people, I was the only one with the lights on, and I still showed a very sense of accomplishment.
The situation continues to improve. When I woke up at 2:52, I was able to fall asleep again. I was able to sleep until 4 a.m. Then I was able to sleep until 5 a.m. I'm a little flustered. Eating and drinking began to be released, and sometimes a liquor or two was drunk to quench their cravings. After the National Day holiday, I participated in two dinners, and also prepared to hold two thank-you banquets after the holiday, which had dragged on for several months. At this moment, the body felt that something was wrong again, and the left ankle, which had not been completely swollen, was a little swollen and painful, and the blood sugar was still as high as about 16 after taking a variety of hypoglycemic drugs and long-acting insulin every day. While I continued to inject biological agents in the Provincial People's Hospital, I continued to consult with Director Lu Yuanyuan of the Hospital of Traditional Chinese Medicine. Director Lu said that your body is currently intact and operating normally on the outside, but this machine is now at the critical point of recovery and collapse, and you can't touch any hair, not even garlic, chives, chili peppers, and other seasonings. I had no choice but to cancel all my party appointments and continue to eat the three meals a day that my wife made for me every day that made me fade out of my mouth.
In the past few days, her daughter Gege has returned to China on annual leave, and she can only stay at home for less than 10 nights in total. There is also a tooth cleaning massage to soak the feet. Like her dad when she was her age, she went to bed at two or three in the morning and slept all morning. Often when she is ready to go to bed, it is the time when I am ready to meditate and get up. The old wife said that when the baby came back, she couldn't catch the time to chatter and communicate. I said that when her father was young, he returned to his hometown Taoyuan County for a week after college vacation, but he still hasn't shown up at his home, at least now his daughter lives at home.
Because of insomnia, I basically don't look at my phone before going to bed, and woke up at 6 o'clock this morning, rejoicing in the good phenomenon that I have not encountered in nearly a thousand days, but I opened my phone and saw heartbreaking bad news at a glance: Jinglun, who has many friends in the real estate circle and the media circle in Nanjing, is gone. Shortly after I had my first sudden myocardial infarction and stent implantation the year before last, we were still drinking and chatting together on the terrace of my brother on the bank of the Qinhuai River in Xishuiguan. Who knows that this Peking Opera ticket holder who is idle in the eyes of the public, drinking tea and singing, has actually been struggling in the black hole of depression for many years. In the days when Lao Ma tried his best to recuperate and wait for recovery with the combination of traditional Chinese and Western medicine, Lao Jing, who was the same age, struggled to jump from the 22nd floor. Another brother did not survive the Year of the Dragon.
Lao Ma was about to write something, and Xiao Zhu, a former colleague of Lao Ma who went to the sea from the media, shot faster, and launched a commemorative article on his official account in the morning "The Deceased: Brother, Is the bayberry over there sweet over there?" 》。
After I forwarded the circle of friends, my old friend Song Ning sent me a private message saying: "Life is not easy, life is not easy, and life is not easy. I replied to him: "Life is not easy to come to the world, but you have to live well." Lao Song said: "We are all in the life stage where the people we brought here have not left, and the people we gave birth to may need to help, and we still have the responsibility to live well, and everyone must live well." ”
A picture flashed in my mind: during the SARS epidemic in 2003, I drove my daughter Gege, who went to kindergarten, to the Purple Mountain Scenic Area for a walk, and the entire Zhongshan Mausoleum Scenic Area was empty and the air was extremely fresh. When my daughter and I were having fun, we saw a black Passat drive into the forest where we were, and the family of three got out of the car. When he saw me, he smiled and asked, "You are also here to walk your daughter?" "What a beautiful picture. His daughter is about the same age as my daughter, but today, the daughter of the family has no father.
When I went downstairs for morning exercises, the fog in the Cuizhu Garden was so thick that my eyes were foggy.
October 18, 2024 Cuizhu Garden
